A/N: Thank you to my readers and those who reviewed -- I'm glad you're liking this story. Just so y'all know, this is the last chapter that takes place on the First Sunday (this fic is meant to encompass a week, and the rest of the days pass by much quicker in text than this day has, I promise). And, yes, there will be romance in this story, I swear that to you. Tremors of a romance are coming up soon, actually, within a chapter or so. Or maybe in this one. I forget.

Warnings: Stupidity continues, and that's pretty much all. Oh, and lots of POV changes!

Disclaimer: I don't even own any of the books. How sad is that?

Enjoy...

Planning, Plotting, and Pranking -- Chapter Three

POV – Remus

"I don't really feel like embarking on a long trek to find them, do you?"

"Not at all." I looked away from the book I was holding over my face, and glanced to the window. Outside, the sky was gray and the clouds were spitting an unpleasant rain. The grass was brown and damp, and the tree branches, black with the precipitation, were bare and devoid of any life. "It's absolutely ghastly outside."

Sirius, laying on the unmade mattress of his bed, rolled over onto his stomach, his feet all over his pillow. "Mmm. Wonderful. Somehow, I have the feeling that Lily's dragging James around out there."

"So do I." Turning over onto my side to face Sirius, I grumbled, "Are we keeping your Grand Master Plan secret from James and Peter, too? Because that's certainly what it seemed like, earlier today."

"We might as well. If Prongs got any wind of what was going on, Lily'd probably notice and somehow pry it outta him." Sirius yawned. He'd been talking nonstop all afternoon about the plan we were scheming, and he was finally starting to look fatigued. "I'm bored. Feel like pulling a small prank?"

I chuckled. "A small prank? And just who might the unfortunate recipient be?"

The other boy shot me a sinister grin. "Maybe I feel like pranking you, Moony."

"Now that I know of it ahead of time, it wouldn't really be a prank, now would it, Padfoot?"

"Maybe, maybe not…"

"Don't you have some underage girl to shag?"

Sirius sat up on his bed, giving me an incredulous look. "Are you trying to get rid of me, Moony? Me? Oh, I'm heartbroken! Shattered! I'll cry myself to death, for Remus Lupin has forsaken me!"

I rolled my eyes and decided, for once, to play along with Sirius' outrageous, over-dramatized antics. "Come to my arms, O neglected one! I apologize for letting the smallest of harm attack your oversized ego!"

A roguish grin spread across his face. "Alas, I fear that the damage is too severe – I am dying, Moony. Your admonishment hath pierced my heart!"

"You're weird."

Sirius broke out of his Shakespearean reverie and smirked. "I know."

"Really weird."

"Uh-huh."

"Isn't there some lonely Hufflepuff girl out there who's pining for your presence?"

He rolled his eyes. "Not this again. Actually – I'm glad you brought this up, Moony, because it gives me another opportunity to complain about Evans."

"I didn't know you needed a specific excuse to do so."

Sirius stood, abruptly, and crashed down on the end of my bed. "She's ruining everything, Remus, can't you see that?"

"I see a lot of things."

"And do you not see the fact that she's completely ruining my social life?"

I tried not to grin. "And by 'social life', you do mean 'sex life', if I am not mistaken?"

"I do," Sirius admitted. "Not that she has me on a short leash or anything, but some way – somehow – she's messing everything up. Maybe it's just her presence… Or maybe it's telepathic thought waves. Or maybe she just has that effect on everyone."

"Or maybe," I grumbled, "the girls don't fancy one-night stands much, anymore."

"That'll be the day," Sirius said from his position on the end of my bed. "Help me, Moony – you're the all-knowing, all-seeing sage – help me wrong my rights and err my mends –"

"Seems like you've got it all backwards," I said with a laugh, though it hardly needed pointing out. I looked up from my book and muttered, "Sirius, in all honesty, I highly doubt this most recent accusation of the ill effects of Lily Evans. I am sure there is some other explanation concerning the lack of tail you've been receiving in the past several weeks. Prongs' Golden Girl has nothing to do with it."

"I'm still skeptical. Seeing her and James together is like seeing an old, married couple and their daily quarrels. It's scaring me."

I raised my eyebrows in understanding. "Ah. So you're scared of establishing a relationship."

"Who said I was scared?"

"I believe you just did, Sirius." I sighed, and turned a page. "I understand it perfectly, now. James has landed himself in a rather tight spot – he loves Lily dearly, but she abhors his more… obnoxious habits."

"Like pranking. Like the Marauders."

I nodded. "Exactly. In their case, opposites do seem to attract, though I can hardly see the benefit for either of them…"

"It's official, then," Sirius grumbled gloomily. "Prongs is pussy-whipped."

I smirked. "Yes, to put it eloquently."

"What does that have to do with me?" Sirius pressed. "Remus, I haven't shagged a girl in four weeks."

"So that's why you've been so weird. Well, that clears up a few things."

Sirius groaned. "Have you no pity?"

"None, whatsoever." I glanced up from my book and gave him the most charming smile I could muster. "You're scared of long-term relationships, Sirius. Welcome to the real world, where life isn't one nightly fling after another."

"I think I am going to sleep now, and hopefully my dreams will be somewhat more enjoyable than these last few months have been," Sirius mumbled. "On the other hand, dreaming of dying wouldn't be so bad, either."

Ah, Sirius, the master of melodrama.

--

POV – Sirius

Of course, I knew that the frightening idea of establishing a long-term relationship wasn't the only thing that was destroying my social life. I rolled off the end of Remus' bed – hitting the hard floor nicely – and with a groan, crawled across the room and climbed onto my bed, the unmade sheets greatly hindering my progress. No, there was something else – I wasn't exactly sure of what – but there was something else. Or someone else, I thought bitterly. As much as I loved to talk about anything and everything, I had a hard time admitting some things to myself. Like the time in our first year when I realized Wormtail was better at Herbology than I was – now that was a crushing defeat. But this was different, and it was something I couldn't exactly put my finger on. I loved to pin the blame – any kind of blame – on Lily whenever I got the chance, and this was no exception. But I knew that someone else – something else – was responsible for my current situation.

"Sirius, I do believe you've been quiet for an amazing three minutes while still awake," Remus proclaimed from his bed. "This just might be a new world record."

"Hold that thought, and I'll try for another record, right now," I grumbled. Remus, distracting me from my thoughts. Remus, treating everything I say and do as I joke – even though he might have a point. Remus, with that goddamned book. Remus…

Remus.

I groaned with realization and epiphany. I'm obsessed with that bugger. Shooting a sidelong glance to Remus without trying to make it obvious, it soon became clear that he was staring right back at me, looking rather perplexed and amused.

"Something wrong, Sirius?"

I sighed and attempted to smile. "Nope. Nothing at all. All systems go."

"I don't think I've ever seen you looking this thoughtful," he said, turning a page of the book he obviously was not reading. "Something bothering you?"

I shook my head. "No – but I think I might just work out some of the kinks in our Grand Master Plan, Moony." Whatever. I groped under the dusty, unexplored bowels of my bed until I found a scrap of parchment and an old quill. "You have an ink well over there?" Remus always had a writing utensil and the necessary accessories nearby, and he promptly threw a small, glass vial my way. "Thanks. I suppose I should write some of the minor details down, don't you think?"

"Not if you don't want James or Peter to find it."

I smirked. "Ah! But you know me – I'll put a safeguard on this darling piece of parchment so that no foreign eyes may view what offensive words might follow…" Chuckling to myself, I dipped the quill in the ink and began to jot down some of the plan's more intricate points. With Remus' help, this day of pranks will be the most storied thing ever to happen in the wizarding world… So storied that they'll be obliged to include it in the next edition of Hogwarts: A History… Ah, the thought of fame…

"You're giggling uncontrollably over there, Sirius, and it's kind of scaring me," Remus grumbled from under his book. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes!" I declared with a grin, feeling much better than I had only a few minutes before. "I'm feeling a-okay! I can't wait to see Filch's face when he realizes there are trees growing in his beloved hallways!"

"I still can't believe you want to go ahead with that stupid tree idea," Remus said. "Just think – you could construct a wall of fire or water or whatever else, instead."

"Or in addition to! Great idea, Moony." I heard the other boy grumble a few nondescript curse words, and I continued my work with the parchment. It was a well-known fact that my handwriting was illegible and my grammar atrocious – and that, alone, should have prevented anyone from reading the notes I'd written. But, just to make Remus happy, I put a spell on the notes I'd inscribed, making the text visible only to whoever said the password – much like our infamous Marauders Map. I touched the tip of my wand to the center of the parchment, and murmured, barely audible, "I have a weird, indescribable obsession with Moony." At that, the ink disappeared, and a blank scrap of parchment was staring back at me.

"I'm a buggering werewolf, you know," Remus drawled.

"Huh?" I said, wheeling around and looking for all the world like a little boy caught in the act of some sort of lewd behavior.

"I can hear anything and everything," he grumbled. "Including that."

I forced a laugh. "Oh, well, yes – of course you can. That's the idea." I am such a bleeding idiot. "Just a ridiculous password, that's all."

"Uh-huh." Remus was unconvinced, but he dropped the matter, and turned back to his book.

Stupid. Sighing, I tucked the seemingly blank piece of parchment under my mattress, and turned back to Remus. "This time, I really am going to sleep." And with that said, I curled up on my bed, suddenly a large, black dog.

--

POV – James

"What rotten weather. And of course Lily thought it'd be enjoyable to take a little stroll outside the castle."

"I think she adores everything you hate, Prongs."

I nodded in agreement. "And vice-versa. I'm beginning to think so, too."

Peter chuckled, sinking into the most comfortable sofa in the Gryffindor common room, the one that Sirius and Remus usually shared. "And yet you adore her. The irony of the entire situation is amazing." He unwrapped a chocolate frog and bit one of its legs off. "Where're Padfoot and Moony?"

I threw my hands up in frustration. "I don't know! This is stupid. It's the second time they've disappeared today!"

"Or maybe we're disappearing from them," Peter said, sounding thoughtful. "Did you go see if they were upstairs?"

"Why should I go look for them?" I asked, feeling rather grumpy all of a sudden. "The bloody fools can come down here themselves. With all that walking Lily made us do on that little traipse of hers, I feel like my legs are gonna fall off."

"Same here. She's probably the reason why they're avoiding us, you know."

"Them? Avoiding?" I thought about it for a moment, and leaned over to nab a chocolate frog from Peter. He might be right, for a change. "So you think Lily's presence is scaring them away?"

"She's pretty good at it, if you haven't noticed."

"I guess so." I slowly bit into the candy, still thinking. I loved Lily dearly – even though it clearly defied all logic – but Peter was correct: she was breaking up the Marauders. I smirked at last and said sneakily, "I think we have some pranks to play that are long overdue."

"On who? Sirius and Remus?"

I shook my head. "No – they're on our side. At least, they should still be. Even if they are, as Moony so clearly put it, plotting."

"So who…?"

"On Lily, perhaps," I said with a shrug. "Although, that'd pretty much ruin my chances of ever being able to see her again…" I trailed off, staring at the card that came with the chocolate frog. It portrayed Hogwarts' headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, and the picture of him was smiling and waving. It gave me an idea. "On the entire school. I hear all kinds of whispers, these days – people saying that a schism has risen between the Marauders, that we don't do pranks any more."

"That's horrible!" Peter said, his mouth full of chocolate.

"Indeed." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, mussing it up the way Lily hated so much. "We'll do it to prove to the school that bloody yeah, we still exist!"

"Sirius and Remus?"

"They'll be taken by surprise. They probably think we've both been bewitched by Lily's spell." I smirked and clapped my hands together. "Great! Now we've got something to look forward to. It'll happen in exactly a week, on Sunday."

"The Prank of Pranks?" Peter asked with a grin.

"The Mother of All Pranks!" I declared.

--

POV – Remus

I yawned tiredly, realizing I'd fallen asleep, and glanced out the window – the sky was already quite dark, though that was what rainy November afternoons were like. Sirius had been in a peculiar mood earlier, and thinking about it had only worn me out. I sighed, shoved my book aside, and glanced over to Sirius' bed. The monstrous dog still snoozed on the crumpled sheets, breathing loudly, his tongue hanging out. Rolling my eyes, I slid off my mattress and tiptoed over to Sirius, and feeling relatively mischievous, tickled his nose with the quill that lay nearby. The dog's nostrils twitched and flared, and suddenly, he let out an enormous sneeze that nearly threw me off my feet. "Wakey-wakey, Padfoot."

Sirius glared at me with his pale-blue eyes and snorted, then licked his forepaw. For a moment, he looked like he'd go back to sleep, but, for the second time that afternoon, Sirius took me by surprise and leapt off his bed, landing on me with all of his weight, pinning me to the floor.

I struggled beneath him. "Mmph. Great, Sirius – just great." The dog panted, smiling broadly, his large, pink tongue dripping saliva all over my shirt. Grumbling to myself, I scratched his head in a false show of affection. "Now get the bugger off of me, you prat." Sirius barked loudly, and a second later, he assumed his human form – still sitting on me.

"Hi, Remus!"

I snorted and pushed him off of me. "Was that really necessary?" I asked, bringing myself to my feet.

Sirius pouted. "You didn't have to wake me up! As they always say, Moony, let sleeping dogs lie…"

"In all of my experiences with canines," I said, flashing the other boy a grin, "they'd rather eat than sleep. It's dinner time."

"Already?" Sirius was brushing the dust and occasional dog hair off of himself.

"Already." I headed for the door, and added, "You know, James and Peter have made themselves rather scarce today, don't you think?"

Sirius followed me out the door and down the twisting stairs. "Well, even if they avoid us at dinner, they won't be able to tomorrow – as the Marauders always have all their classes together! Besides, Snivellus is in most of them, too, and you can't let such a great opportunity like that pass us by."

"Oh, no, never."

--

Fortunately for us – and unfortunately for everyone else – the Marauders were back in their element at the Great Hall, just in time for dinner. James had gleefully explained that Lily had stayed behind in the library, researching something she had called "super-important." This news seemed to bother Peter, but he was always the paranoid one, and it didn't worry Sirius one bit. Sirius, in fact, was as loud and rambunctious as ever.

"This evening," he declared, standing at our end of the Gryffindor table, with a glass of something that looked suspiciously like (smuggled) Firewhiskey in his hand, "I propose to make yet another toast. Let this following week be a week of amazing entertainment, of school-wide hijinks, and of general jollity and gaiety among us all!"

"Here, here!" James roared in agreement. Peter clapped. I tried to hide my smile by shoving food in my mouth.

"And, in that tradition, we'll start off this week with a wee bit of a bang," Sirius murmured, withdrawing a firework from within his robes. He lit it with the end of his wand, and sent it off in the direction of the Slytherin table. I sighed, and hid my face in my hands – I had no desire to be the one to receive a stiff detention sentence from Professor McGonagall. While the rest of the Marauders and everyone else in the Great Hall looked on, a volley of flares and sparks – accompanied by the occasional pop and boom – erupted from where Severus and Lucius were eating. Sirius guffawed, and as the light show continued, turned back around to finish his salad. "Just imagine, Moony," he whispered, "on Sunday, our Grand Master Plan will be a billion times more spectacular than that!"

"It will be downright legendary," I agreed.

"Awe-inspiring."

"It'll get its own chapter in The History of Magic."

"Its own chapter! Luckily for you, Remus, it'll get its own buggering book!"

--

POV – Lily

In the course of less than one day, I'd been labeled as a killjoy, a fuddy-duddy, an icy bitch, and, by the likes of a certain Severus Snape, a filthy Mudblood. Not that the last insult was exactly surprising, seeing as he called me by that name daily – but on this particular day, I couldn't walk down a hallway without receiving dubious stares and glares from students I'd never even talked to, let alone seen before. Soon after, I heard the rumors that were circulating through Hogwarts: that Lily Evans, the Gryffindor Ice Queen, had succeeded in reigning in the Marauders and draining the joy out of every last one of them; that Lily Evans, the Perfect Prefect, had forever taken away Hogwarts' most famous and steady form of entertainment. As much as I hated (most) of James' and Sirius' stupid pranks, I couldn't stand having all of the rage and ire of the school directed solely at me.

I wasn't trying to bring all of the Marauders' obnoxious behavior to a halt – because without his daily dosage of pranks, James would most certainly become depressed and wither away – but the chaos that they caused, the unrelenting havoc and anarchy…

But still, a small voice told me, you know, deep inside, that you love James' pranks. That's what makes him James. And you love the rest of the Marauders and all the entertainment they bring to Hogwarts. Admit it.

Maybe…

Even you like to see Severus Snape embarrassed every now and then, Lily! I sighed, sitting alone at a solitary table in the almost-deserted library, staring blankly at the pages of a boring-looking book. Dinner was being served in the Great Hall, and there was no doubt that, in my absence, James and Sirius were causing some sort of disruption. I was hungry, but I really didn't want to ruin their fun – not after how much I'd been dogged by various Hogwarts students in one afternoon – so I stayed at the table, the soft light from the nearby candles illuminating the dusty pages in front of me.

What I need to do is to prove I'm not an icy killjoy, I thought. But me, Lily Evans, a prefect, play a prank? Me! That just wouldn't be right, would it?

Would it?

Well, if no one found out it was my doing, then there'd be no problem, now would there?

No problem at all.

For the first time that afternoon, a genuine smirk crept across my face, and in the polished shine of the table, I was both frightened and delighted to find that I looked strangely mischievous.

To be continued...
A/N: And now some of the confict and (finally!) a plot have surfaced... Some drama (sigh) is to be had in the next couple of chapters, but what good is a story without a tiny bit of drama? Thanks for reading and hopefully reviewing... Next update will be in a few days.

-mo