Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, for all belong to J.K. Rowling, but I don't think she would mind if I borrowed them for just a moment.

Summary: When Harry is alone in the Astronomy Tower, dealing with the loss of his godfather, professor Snape finds him and offers his advice.

BREAKING THE SILENCE

CHAPTER 4

Harry was cleaning up after his potion lesson when Professor Snape approached him. They had not spoken since the day at the lake and Harry was secretly disappointed about that.

"How are you doing, Mr. Potter?" Snape whispered under his breath while pretending to study the label of a vial which contained a sample of Harry's potion.

Harry nodded and replied equally soft: "Fine, sir. But I want to talk to you about something."

"Eight o'clock, my office."

Harry watched his teacher stride away, leaving him standing in the classroom. Snape's attitude in class hadn't changed, because he didn't want any other students to know anything about their conversations together. Harry didn't mind. It wasn't like they were friends or anything. They had a bond and that was all he required. Snape wasn't trying to replace Sirius and that made him a good person to talk to. His words weren't marked with pity, unlike those of most others who tried to get him to speak to them. Harry had realised that pity wasn't what he needed. Snape knew that and Harry sometimes wondered why and how. How come he understood how to talk and to share when so many other did not? Maybe it was because he always kept his distance. He never came close enough to draw out the things Harry rather kept to himself. But what it exactly was, wasn't important. Important was that it was there.

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The light on Snape's desk was dim, casting mysterious shadows in the room and left the two of them slightly in the dark. Harry liked the darkness. It was comfortable to know that Snape couldn't read every expression on his face. Another thing he liked was that Snape hadn't asked what was wrong yet. He had just sat down and let the silence endure, waiting for Harry to break it when he was ready.

"I wonder if I will ever see him again." Harry said suddenly.

He couldn't see his professor's face and his voice was blank when he replied: "What do you mean by that?"

"You know, when I die,"

"I can't answer that. Only those who have died know what comes after this life. If something comes."

"But what do you think?"

It took a full minute before Snape answered. "I think," He began slowly. "I think there's something. Another world maybe. Without pain, sadness or death."

That surprised Harry. Snape didn't seem the kind of person for such thoughts. But after their conversations he had began to Snape as another person. This surprised him, but not as much as it would have done a year ago.

"I don't know if I think and believe that, or if I only want and wish that." Snape continued.

"It's not so bad, you know. To want something like that."

"I know that," Snape voice filled itself with sadness. "But I fear it's just an illusion. That death will really mean the end. And that thought makes it harder to believe in a next world."

Harry shrugged at that. "It shouldn't make any difference, if it would be an illusion. If it is something that you have believed your whole life, something good, something to hold on to, then it has been worthwhile enough already."

Snape smiled in the dark. "I think that that is probably the smartest thing I've every heard you say, Potter. What about you, what do you think?"

"I don't know, really." Harry told him. "I'd like it if there was another world. Then I would have something to, kind of, look forward to. It would make dying less scary."

"I think that if you are old enough to die, you have lived for so long that death will not frighten you anymore. I think it will bring comfort. Then you shouldn't be afraid of death anymore."

Harry smiled sadly. "I don't think dying at an old age is my destiny."

"Why not?"

"The prophecy," Harry answered. "I am meant to kill Voldemort and I think that will also mean my death."

"I don't believe that!" Snape sounded stern. "I don't believe in destiny either. I believe that we make our own choices. You are the person who is supposed to fight the Dark Lord. I think you will succeed. I have faith."

"I will die, whether I kill him or not," Harry spoke tiredly. "I just know that. And it scares me."

"Put it out of your mind, Potter! I don't want you to think like that. Think about my illusion instead. Make it yours to believe in and hold on to it!"

"I will try. Can you tell me what it looks like in your illusion?"

"Our illusion," Snape corrected. "And I think I can. I have this one picture in my head. I will replace my grandparents in it for your parents and Sirius. Please close you eyes."

Harry immediately did so.

"Imagine. You see a far green land, without roads or houses. Just small hills and trees. A beautiful landscape. It is still quite dark. But when the sun starts to rise, you can see the silhouettes of three people standing on one of those hills. As the sun rises further and shines upon them, you see James. He has his arm around Sirius and his hand is in your mother's, while her hair moves in the wind. They are smiling while watching the sunrise. Smiles of pure joy and happiness. You have that to look forward to."

"It's perfect," said Harry, once again thanking the dark for hiding the tears in his eyes.

"Indeed, it is. But your time isn't there yet."

"I hope so," Harry replied sincerely. "I can wait. I am not finished here yet."

"True, but you can dream about it at night."

"Do you do that?"

"I do."

"Doesn't it make you sad? The fact that you can't go there yet?"

"No, it doesn't." Snape said with a small smile. "I know they will wait for me and I know that I am still needed here. I know that they know that too."

Harry nodded and understood it. He got up. "Thank you, professor." He said. "That helps me."

Professor Snape waited for a moment and then, as if he decided something, got up and called Harry back. "Potter," And after a slight hesitation. "Harry, wait. I want you to take something…"

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When Harry was laying in his bed, he was still clutching the item Snape had given to him. By the light of the candle next to his bed, he looked at it for one last time. It was a picture from the yearbook Snape had gotten when he graduated from Hogwarts. The picture showed James, Lily, Sirius and Remus. All of them were smiling and all of them were happy. Harry put it next to his bed, on the bedside table. It was his only picture of Sirius. The others he had thrown away in his anger and grief. Now that he was convinced that this had not been a final goodbye, he was ready to look at the pictures again. They made him happy and sad at the same time, but he was glad to have them. Harry blew out his candle and laid down. He recalled the illusion. For Harry, it was real. Just as real as the new hope it had given him.

TO BE CONTINUED ...