A/N: Warning: This chapter contains content that could be considered Rated M. Please, greatly refrain yourself from reading if you are underage. I am not responsible if underage readers read this chapter and produce a personality altered by this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
A Pair of Time
Chapter 32- The Curse of the Book
Kakariko Village; Night
"Are you still traveling, honey?" the generous lady years before asks Malon. Our heroes spend their night inside her house, once again. And, as always, she's always open to make people at home. Malon sits across from her at the main table.
"Oh, yes," Malon answers. "We still got lots to do, Miss."
"What's so much that even seven years of wandering around doesn't take care of?"
"Some… things. There are some things that require time."
"Oh? And what's that?"
"It's private."
"Does it have to do something… with that best friend of yours?"
"Uh…" the same old feeling of being forced open occurs again to Malon, "no…"
"Ah, shucks. Don't lie to me. I can tell."
"No, really, Miss…"
"Tell me, what do you think of him?"
"Miss, I'm not really comfortable talking about this." Malon sighs. "Please, I'm talking about something else."
"Ah, well… That boy does seem to unnerve you sometimes. Can I have a hint of what's going on?"
"Nothing, really…"
"Oh, don't be shy. You can tell me. Just a lady telling another lady."
"Well… I… I do have feelings for him."
"Really?"
"But, that's all. That's really all to it."
"Did you ever tell him?"
"I did, once. But…" Malon looks away for a while before turning her gaze on the lady again, "I rather not talk about it."
"Oh… Well, sometimes, you just have to push yourself and hope for it. Do the best you can."
"Yeah…"
"Well, I have to start cooking now, before the others come in."
The lady takes off, leaving Malon to herself to wonder about the thought. She hopes, that part is correct, but will it ever come true? She can't see into the future, but she hopes it turns out as bright as she visions it. But, for now, she just sits there, lost in thought, while Link is out buying supplies.
Later on in the evening, many people come over to have the free food the house owner is serving up. Malon has never seen so many Hylians cram into one house at a time. She barely has enough room to call her own personal space. Aiding the owner, she brings hot, steaming bowls of white-colored chowder to the guests chatting with each other on the large table, and then some sitting elsewhere. After she is done, she picks a corner far off from the mass of people, saving some room for her and Link. Sitting on a tree stump with the warm wooden bowl on her thighs, she relaxes herself, silently waiting for her best friend.
"Dude, is that her?" a young man around Malon's age on the other side of the house asks another, pointing at Malon.
"Yeah, I think it's that milkman's daughter…" the other person replies. "Huh, thought she was dead."
"Whoa, man, she's like, hot."
"Yeah. Seven years, and Malon's a ranch chick. Wonder what she's doing here…"
"And look, she's all alone. Ain't that a good thing?"
"What, you want to hit her?"
"Hell yeah. I ain't gonna let a sweet thing pass me by."
"What about your other girl?"
"Does it look like I care for my old girl now? That one, the redheaded hottie there, is my new one."
"Hah hah. Well, you're the man, then."
The young man stands up and starts to walk over to Malon. "I wonder why no other guy picked her up…"
Malon puts down her soup next to the stump, easing the heat away from her legs. The guy slowly makes his way to her, up to Malon's face. With that, a gasp escapes from Malon.
"You're… You're…" Malon couldn't believe it.
"I'm what? Sexy?" the person fills in.
That isn't what Malon is thinking. This person, this is the very same person seven years earlier who called her, while she was crying from rejection-
"You… You're that guy who said 'Hey, farm girl… you're a baby…'" the frightful memory of where Malon was being teased by other children comes back to her, "when I was crying in that square long ago…"
"And, hey, you are a babe."
"But… you teased me. You were one of the mean kids."
"Aw, ain't that nice that you remember me? 'Cause I remember you, babe."
"You… You…"
"Yeah, I know I called you a mean thing, farm girl and all that. But, now… you're a hot ranch chick, you know that?"
Malon's newly developed instinct kicks in. "I'm a what now?"
"Ranch chick. Hot-looking girl all fresh from the farm."
"What?"
"Tell me now…" the obnoxious guy sits on a nearby stump, "does milk do your body good? Because yours look real good."
Maybe the old Malon would have been flattered, or highly embarrassed by this, but not the new one that just read the book.
"Oh?" Malon pretends to be interested.
"Yeah. Those nice curves, that great stomach, that good-looking hip…" he names as he eyes the parts on Malon's body. He then leans close, "and did I mention those big… tits?"
CRACK! Malon's foot nails into the nearest one the young man stuck out.
"What was that?" Malon keeps her pretend voice, enjoying the suffering face she sees. "I have big… tits? Are you complimenting my large breasts?"
"Uh… huh…" the person sputters through the sharp pain. It feels like his foot is broken.
"Well, thank you. But, as for you…"
Malon strikes the man in the face with a simple punch. He flies backwards, smacking into the opposite wall. The group of guests nearby breaks their conversation and turns their attention to the scene.
"You need some milk, too, because your body doesn't look real good right now," Malon finishes with a smirk.
"Yo, man!" one of the jerk's friends runs up to him. "You all right?"
"Ha ha!" another comes up. "You just got your ass whooped by a chick!"
"Aw, dude!" the jerk sits up, rubbing his face. "I think she broke my jaw… and my nose, too…"
He shakes his head, standing up with a face that Malon can now recognize: pissed off.
"Yo!" he yells. "What the hell! I said your tits were big, and you just knock me off!"
"Well, I don't have the time to deal with jerks like you," Malon easily answers.
"What! Say that again to my face, bitch!"
"I could, but what's the point? Your breath smells, and it's cooling off my chowder."
The man tramps towards Malon, and raises a hand. His slap is about to reach her when it is blocked by her own hand. Malon quickly grabs and twists his arm around a half circle and slams the guy facedown onto the floor. She stops him short with a foot on his back. With an arm held back into a lock, and the jerk trapped on the floor, Malon smirks again.
"Let me make my point… I don't have time to deal with people like you," Malon repeats.
"Hey!" one of the jerk's friends yells.
He and the other friend charges at Malon, grabbing her each by the arms and pinning her against the wall. One against one, Malon can easily do, but against three? The jerk himself stands up, with a face even more than it was a while ago.
"You whore," he mutters.
"What was that?" Malon again pretends the act. "I'm a whore? No, I don't think I've been taking up any job as a prostitute lately. In fact, never in my life."
"Bitch, shut up!" he slaps her hard on the cheek.
"Hey, stop this!" a man from the table orders. Does no one at the table have the courage to do anything other than yell?
The jerk ignores him. "This one needs to be taught a lesson."
"What do you think we should do?" the one on the left of Malon asks.
"I think I'm just gonna knock her out, too," then, a craving look replaces his current face. "Then, let's drag her out. I want some of this… sexy body."
Oh, goddesses… A high-pitched scream echoes through Malon's head. They're gonna rape me…
"Oh, yeah!" the young man on the right agrees.
"I would really like that…" the one on the left comments.
"Now…" a face almost like that of Ganondorf's appears on the jerk.
Suddenly, he feels a tap on his shoulder. "Hey," a voice greets.
"What!" he spins around, finding himself staring face to face with Link. "Do you have a problem, greenie?"
"Yeah," Link agrees calmly. "I was wondering if you would mind letting go of my best friend?"
Link! Malon cries happily in her mind.
"Oh, ho ho ho!" the jerk laughs. "She's your best friend? This bitch?"
"Er, would you mind not calling her that?"
"And why not? She punched me! This whore!"
"And I would really mind you not calling her that, either," Link suggests with the same coolness. "Don't call anybody a name that isn't true, even wrong for one thing. My best friend isn't a prostitute."
Everybody silence to this remark. A cricket nearby chirps for a moment, but even it decides that it's just too much.
"Dude!" the jerk screams. "This chick is out of control!"
"Well, I might have to agree on that one," Link nods a little. "She does sometime go crazy. Most of the time at me for no reason at all."
Another silence. This time, the cricket does not do a thing.
"LINK!" Malon calls to snap some senses. "These guys want to beat me up and rape me!"
"Is that so?" Link takes this into consideration. These young men he's talking to are still good, right? "Well, I have to say to you guys that you shouldn't do this. Harming a lady is wrong, and raping her is even more wrong."
"Oh?" the jerk questions. "And like, you're gonna stop us? No wonder the milkman's daughter is crazy. Her best friend is a gay guy in a green skirt! Ha, I like to see you fight me."
"I might if it has to come to that."
"Well, just try, then."
"Um… I'm not really the type to hurt somebody first."
"Well, get a load of hurt from this!"
The jerk tries to land a blow, but Link catches the fist. Link pulls him back, then kicks him in the stomach, sending him back to the wall again. The other two throw themselves at Link, but Link sidesteps, grabs one of them, and throws him across the room. That guy lands with a hard hit on the floor. The last one tries again for another attempt at Link, but Malon quickly reacts with a rush. She jumps, and sidekicks the head, letting the last man spin in the air and landing on his friend with a dazed look.
Malon sighs, relieved it's over. She turns to Link, who's dusting his tunic.
"Hey… thanks, Link," she said.
"No problem," Link returns.
"Oh, man…" the jerk wakes from his unconsciousness, along with the others. "Shit… I'm not staying here with you two! Let's get the hell outta here!"
Like that, the three are gone, through the main door. Slowly, most of the guests in the room clap a little, for Malon and Link's victory.
"Oh, now!" the owner's voice is heard. "Violence in my house…? I'm going to let you two off the hook, since you didn't start it. But, if I see any more of this kind of thing, it's out to the streets with ya!"
The tension now relaxes, as everybody continues to eat and converse. Malon picks up her soup, now at the right temperature for a pleasant meal. Soon, Link sits down next to her, a hot bowl of his own.
"Ah, nothing like a hot meal…" Link comments. He picks up his spoon to take a sip, but his face burst with hurt as the heat burns into his tongue.
"A little too hot, fairy boy?" Malon giggles.
"Um…" Link blows on the content of his spoon.
"So… what took you so long to get back?"
"I had to decide which one was better," Link answers. "Red Potion, or Fairy? In the end, after some hard thinking, I brought a Fairy."
"Oh, Link…" Malon shakes her head.
"Well, here's the question. Why were those guys trying to hurt you?"
"Oh, I did something to one of them, this guy I know."
"Really? Who's this guy?"
"The one who called me a baby when I was crying in Hyrule Castle Town square seven years ago."
"Oh…"
"He was trying to hit me."
"Hit you as in hurting you? Or hit you as in… I think, asking you out?"
"The second one. Anyway, he made some comments. Some rude ones, I say."
"Well, what did he say?"
"Called me a ranch chick. From farm girl to ranch chick," Malon groans. "How did it ever come to that?"
"Hah hah…" Link sips his spoon.
"And then, some very rude comments."
"… Like?"
"Oh, you're a pervert."
"What? I didn't ask for anything like that."
"Oh, yes, you did. You want to know what those comments are. Those very bad comments."
"I didn't know. I'm still slow on this kind of stuff."
"Right…"
"Well, how did he came to get all mad at you?"
"I stamped his foot, and punched him in the face."
"Why?"
"For the rude comments."
"Ah."
"Said I have a nice body and all…"
"Oh…" Link nods.
"And he even had the sick mind to stare at my breasts and say how big they are."
"Uh… Why are you telling me about your… um…"
"Oh, uh…" Malon hasn't thought about that. Is Link really that close enough to her to hear this disgusting comment?
"Never mind, never mind." Link waves it off. "So, you punched him in the head because of those words?"
"Oh, yeah. He just wanted my body."
"Right."
"Men are such pigs…"
"Say what now?"
"Oh! Um, except you, Link! You're a good guy!"
"I swear, that book made my life turn upside down…"
"So, anyway, that jerk tried to hit me back, but I got him down on the ground. However, I got tackled by his lackeys, and they stuck me against the wall. They were planning to beat me, and rape me, and then you came in!"
"On time, too."
"Always there for me, aren't ya, fairy boy?"
"You know I always am."
"Thanks a lot."
"Sure," Link returns the gratitude. He puts a spoonful of soup into his mouth, then immediately pulls it out. "Whew… still too hot."
"Here…" Malon extends her bowl. "Wanna share mine? We can eat yours after it cools down."
"Good idea…" Link sets down his bowl. "Thanks, Mal."
They go to bed feeling good after the meal. Link stretches out on his bed, the muscles cranking themselves to become less rigid. With a wipe of his eyes, he pulls a blanket over himself and lets the night take him away.
"Good night, Link." he hears Malon's old night saying.
"'Night, Malon," Link answers back.
A world soothing of reality flows over Link as sleep and dream bond together with his mind. Nothing wrong, nothing bad, just good things. All the good things in the world swarm around him. He dreams of being back inside his house, the air of the trees filling his lungs. It's great to be home again, to where he can never worry about his days.
"Hi!" a voice nearby calls out.
Link turns around to find Malon at his entrance. What a friendly sight, his best friend. He could enjoy the day with his best friend, playing even though they're adults. They could play like they're ten again.
"Hey, Mal."
Malon sucks in the air around her. "Oh, today is a good day! I feel good! How about you, fairy boy?"
"Me, too. Here, let me get some stuff cleaned up and I'll be ready…"
Nice day… Nice day… What a wonderful day… Link thought as he cleans his table. I like days like this. Why can't we have more days like this? I wonder wh-
"Oh!" Link feels Malon bump behind him. He turns around, seeing her watch him. "Watch where you're going there, Mal."
"Oh, sorry, sorry…"
Link returns to his work, but not before-
"Whoa!" Link stands straight up as he feels his rear being poked. He turns around again, finding a playful face on Malon. "Uh, having fun there, are we?"
"Oh, yeah." Malon nods. "Having some fun."
Again, Link tries to do his work, but-
"Yaow!" Link spins around, in response to a finger being driven up between his butt cheeks. "Wha… Uh, why did you…"
"Hey, I'm just having fun today. It's a good day, right?"
"Well, uh…" Link chuckles nervously, "I'm not going to get anything done if you keep poking me… there."
"Sure, sure."
Well, THAT was a little too weird… Link figures as he goes back to cleaning up the table.
Then, he sees Malon's hands go over his shoulders. Slowly, slowly, they reach down to his chest. Then, they begin to rub his fine chest, in a way that is-
"Mal!" Link frees himself from her grip. He stares at her face, even more playful than before. "Wha… What… Wha-a-a-a…"
"Link…" she said his name rather… seductively.
Now, this freaks him out. "Uh… Malon… what's… what's going on?"
"Oh, nothing… Nothing that is bad… Nothing that won't please us…"
"Well, you… you were kind of…"
"Kind of what?"
"Uh… All touchy…"
"Yeah…? So…?"
"Um, well… I… I… would rather not be touched like… that…"
"Oh, what's the matter, fairy boy?" Malon cocks her head to one side. "Don't like being touched by me like that?"
"Uh… I… You see…"
"What's wrong, then?"
Link tries to support himself with a finger that hopelessly points around. "B-B-B-But… I-I-I-I… U-U-U-Uh-h-h-h-h…"
Malon moves her body closer to Link's. Her hands… They seem to move in a way that reflects Malon's naughtiness.
"What's wrong, fairy boy?" her voice hits temptation. "Why can't you just let go… and we just have a good day?"
"Uh… U-Uh-h… My idea… of a good day… isn't even close… to this…"
"Oh?" Malon eyes him very curiously.
Abruptly, Link feels Malon's hands on his… rear. Then, they… gently squeeze them, forcing Link to go to an almost panicking state.
"What's your idea of a good day?" Malon asks. "Do you want a better day than this?"
"N-N-N-N-No-o-o-o-o-o…" Oh, fear is laughing at Link right now.
"Liar." Malon smiles in the current mood she's in. "You do want a better day, don't ya?"
AAAHHH! Link mentally screams. Someone wake me up! Somebody…! Anybody…! Navi…! Navi…!
"Well, that's great, Link, because…" Malon slows her tone down, "I want a better day, too…"
"Uh… W-W-What about-t-t… uh… w-w-what we t-t-told each ot-t-ther… back-k-k-k at Lon Lon R-R-Ranch…?"
"Oh… that doesn't matter… when we can do this…"
Navi…! Navi…! NAVI…! NAVI…! DAMN YOU, FAIRY, WHERE IN MY MIND ARE YOU! FOR THE LOVE OF NAYRU, WHERE ARE YOU!
"Oh, Link… I got to say this, but… I'm feeling really good right now…" Malon leans close to his face. "I feel so… what's that word? Oh, yeah… 'horny.'"
FOR FARORE'S SAKE, I HAVE GOT TO WAKE UP!
"Uh… Uh…" Link searches for words that he's about to run out of. "Well, maybe I can get you to stop being… horny…" Link suggests with all the confidence he has left.
"Oh, don't be silly, fairy boy. I know you are, too."
"No… N-N-No, I'm not."
"Aw, don't be so shy."
One of Malon's hand reaches for Link's.
"Here, let me… turn us on," Malon said.
In a quick second, Link's hand is guided towards… one of Malon's breast. With her hand on top of his, she makes him squeeze the very delicate, yet very, very firm feminine part of sexuality.
"Oh…" Malon moans. "Oh…! OH…! OH! OH! OH, LINK! OH, LINK! SQUEEZE IT! SQUEEZE IT HARDER! MY BIG BREAST WANTS TO BE SQUEEZED!" Malon demands.
OH, GODDESS! Link gives up on the hope of calling Navi. THIS IS HORRIBLY WRONG!
"OH, FAIRY BOY! OH! OH!"
Sick. That's how Link feels. Over the very powerful feeling of being horny is being very sick, and not just to his stomach.
"MALON! LET GO OF MY HAND!"
"NO! NO! THIS FEELS TOO GOOD TO LET GO! OH, THIS JUST FEELS TOO GOOD TO LET GO!"
Malon resorts to making Link's hand squeeze her breast harder.
"AH! OH! LINK! C'MON! SQUEEZE MY BREAST EVEN HARDER! MY WOMANHOOD DEMANDS IT!"
"NO! I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO DO SUCH AN EVIL WORK!"
Malon again makes his hand compress down even further.
"OH, GODDESS! YOU CANNOT FEEL HOW GOOD THIS IS! OH, LINK! YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO DAMN GOOD!"
UGH! STOP! I WANT THIS DAMN DREAM TO END! Link pleads. I WANT THIS NIGHTMARE TO END!
"LET… GO… OF… MY… HAND…!" Link yells.
"IF YOU DON'T FEEL GOOD, FAIRY BOY, THEN I WILL JUST HAVE TO HELP YOU!"
Oh, shi-
Clamp. Malon's other hand clamps…
GODDESS! SHE'S GOT MY… GROIN!
Link's body straightens itself like a stick as he feels his genitals being… played with by Malon's other hand.
"OH, LINK!" Malon is erotically pleased with what she finds. "YOU HAVE… VERY NICE BITS AND PIECES!"
To make matters worse, Link feels his… thing going… commando. And that makes Malon's hand turns its attention to playing with it.
"OH, WHAT'S THIS, LINK? LOOKS LIKE I MADE YOU FEEL GOOD AFTER ALL!"
It looks like the five fingers on Malon's hand are accompanied by a… sort of sixth one.
AH! Nobody can really imagine what Link is thinking right now. STOP THIS FORSAKEN… TORTURE!
Could it get worse? Even worse?
"ALL RIGHT!" Malon screams. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! TIME TO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS! LET'S DO IT, FAIRY BOY!" Malon finishes with a naughty giggle. She throws Link down onto his own bed, and starts to take off her shirt…
SHE WANTS TO HAVE SEX! NO! MALON WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME! OH, MAN! THIS… ISN'T… RIGHT…! AAAAAHHHHH!
CUCCO!
Link wakes up from his dream, or as he calls it, a beyond fear of a nightmare. Sweat. Drenched in sweat. One falls off his chin and lands with a small PLOP! on the blanket underneath.
"Whoa! Fairy boy!" Malon's voice, normal this time, hits his ears. "Did the Pocket Cucco wake you up that badly?"
Link doesn't respond. The only thing he's doing now is panting very quickly, and with effort.
"Link?" Malon leans in close to get a better look of his face. "Uh, you okay?"
"AH!" Link tumbles off his bed when her face reaches his vision.
"Link!" she runs around the bed and kneels down next to him. "What's wrong?"
"Uh… U-Uh… B… U… H… E…"
"Slow down, Link! I can't understand what you're saying!" Malon lays a hand on his chest to calm him.
It gives the opposite effect, however, as Link jumps from her hand as soon as it lands on him. He stands on his feet, coming to grip as reality replaces the dream.
"Wha…" Malon almost gives a startle. "Okay, fairy boy, you're freaking me out here."
You have no idea how you FREAKED me out, Link thought.
"Well, let's see how this happened…" Malon begins. "Okay… Did you have a nightmare?"
"Uh…" it takes a few seconds before he could figure out he could slap himself for being like this. "W-W-Well, Mal…"
"It looked like you had a nightmare. You were tossing and turning around in your sleep."
"Y-Yeah…"
"What did you dream about?"
"S… M… Nothing… Nothing…"
Malon furrows her eyebrows and peers at Link's eyes closely. "Liar," she concludes. "You can tell me, Link. I'm your best friend." Malon's head cocks a little to the side. "What did you dream about?"
"Nothing! It's… nothing!"
"Aw, c'mon! What's so scary that even you won't tell me? Then, again…" Malon wonders for a while, "what's so scary that got you scared?"
"It's really nothing, Mal!"
"Oh?" Malon lifts an eyebrow. "Well, you see, Link, you're not gonna get anywhere with 'nothing.' Especially because…" Malon giggles to this sight, "you wet yourself."
OH, C'MON! Link looks down at the wet spot on his tunic. But, unlike Malon, he knows it's not urine sticking to the tunic's material…
"Well, if you really don't want to tell me, Link… then, okay…" Malon sighs, not knowing it's not urine on his tunic. "Men…"
She heads for the door, while petting the Pocket Cucco in her hands.
"Oh, by the way…" Malon pauses before going out, "the Pocket Cucco hatched overnight. See?" she holds up the little white bird, sleeping. "Cute little thing. And it's sure happy that it woke you up, fairy boy. I'm gonna hand it back to the Cucco lady today, okay?"
"Uh, yeah…"
"See ya at breakfast," Malon finishes before exiting.
"Oh, poor, poor Link," Navi said, deciding to fly out to talk. "If Malon knew, then well…" a chuckle escapes from Navi.
"Navi!" Link yells furiously. "Why didn't you wake me up when that… dream started to get out of hand?"
"Well… I wanted to see how Hylians mate with my own eyes. And I got to say… they seem to get a lot of pleasure doing so."
"Can't you see I wasn't enjoying it!"
"But, it was so interesting!" Navi retorts in an innocent voice. "I mean, I didn't know breasts of female Hylians are good sources of sexual excitement."
"NAVI!"
"And… I didn't know Hylian rears are, either. Then, there are… how did Malon say it? 'Bits and pieces'? I didn't know they are, too. Then, when that erection occurred-"
"NAVI! STOP TALKING! FIRST OF ALL, YOU READ ALL OF THIS FROM THAT BLASPHEMOUS BOOK! YOU SHOULD KNOW ALL THIS STUFF BY NOW!"
"Well, now, just because I'm a female fairy doesn't mea-"
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"
"Then, what is?"
"DON'T TALK ABOUT IT!"
"Oh, but it's so hard to ignore and forget!" Navi pleads excitingly. "Like how Malon said all those words indicating sexual pleasure. And, then… you two were about to… mate. Uh, 'sex', is that what Hylians call it? Why don't they use the correct term, 'sexual intercourse,' or 'copulate'? Then again, I don't know why Hylians mate on the bed, or why they don't mate out in the open, or, better yet, why mating is highly pleasant when it should be done to reproduce."
"NAVI! SHUT… UP!"
"But, Link, I'm confused. Doesn't mating usually happen between two lovers? I thought you and Malon were best friends. But, the book did say Hylian mating doesn't have to include love… So, best friends can mate, too?"
"NAVI…!" Link then gives up. Navi's a fairy, what harm can she do in this situation? He waves a hand, picks up his green hat, then heads for the bathroom. "Forget it… I'm going to the bathroom to clean up… And don't come in…"
"Right…" Navi nods.
"Goddess damn book…" Link mumbles. "Curse that damn book…"
As the bathroom door closes on Link, Navi hovers down until she gently lands on the bed. She sighs, having enjoyed such an… educational moment. Well, when you're a fairy, you do have a tendency to want to learn about things. After all, how do fairies know all those facts about the monsters?