Title: Flesh Revealed
Author: PG
Summary: Sirius wants to find out where Remus gets to every month. Set during second year.
Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
Thanks: to Lyssa Morgaine and brightsun301 for the beta!
o
Remus wasn't there.
"Where is he?" Sirius asked.
He, James, and Peter were standing in the middle of the darkened hospital wing. Moonlight streamed through the windows, bright enough to read by, if one wanted to waste precious mischief hours in such a scholastic pastime. Bright enough also to illuminate two neat rows of hospital beds. Bright enough to reveal that only two of those beds were occupied, and that neither of the occupants was Remus.
"Where is he?" Sirius repeated, indignant to discover that the object of their illicit mission was nowhere to be found.
"If we knew that, then we wouldn't be here, would we?" James shrewdly pointed out.
Ignoring him, Sirius wandered among the beds, muttering to himself. "He must be here."
"Oi, Black!" hissed James. "Do you think they stuck him in a medicine cabinet? He's not here! And we'd better not be here, either, when Pomfrey makes her next round."
"He's supposed to be here."
"Sirius!" Peter whimpered, glancing toward Madam Pomfrey's room.
Sirius paused by one of the occupied beds. He didn't recognize the student, an upperclassman, his face covered in red dots clearly visible in the moonlight. "Look at this poor bloke!" he whispered to the others. "I think he's got chicken pox."
"Sirius, come on!" James urged.
"Let's ask him," Sirius replied. The others shook their heads frantically, gesturing for him to come back, but Sirius paid them no mind. He shook the invalid's shoulder, rousing him from sleep.
"Wha--," he said fuzzily, blinking up at Sirius. "Who're you?"
"We're looking for a mate of ours, Remus Lupin. Do you know where he is?"
"Who?"
"Little chap. Sandy hair. Answers to the name of 'Doorstop.'"
"There's nobody here but me and her." He nodded toward the other inmate. "She's a Ravenclaw. Got bitten by a grindylow while swimming in the lake."
"Do I look like I give a damn about Ravenclaws? I'm trying to find my friend."
"Well, there's no one else here." He looked around the room, noticing James and Peter standing nervously by the door. "And you shouldn't be here, either. It's the middle of the night."
"Is it? I didn't notice. Good luck with your acne, zitface." He turned back to the others.
"I don't have acne! It's chicken box!" the boy hissed at his back.
"Remus isn't here," Sirius reported to James and Peter.
"That's obvious," James said.
"He is supposed to be here."
"Yes, but we aren't, so can't we just go now?" James grabbed Sirius' sleeve and tugged him out of the room, followed by Peter who kept stealing nervous glances at Pomfrey's door.
"I spent five knuts on these ice mice for him," Sirius complained, fishing a bag out of his pocket. He shrugged. "Guess I'll just have to eat them myself."
o
"Where could he be?" Sirius asked for the seventeenth time as they entered their dormitory in Gryffindor tower.
Groaning dramatically, Peter threw himself on his bed. "We don't know, Sirius! Quit asking!"
Sirius scowled. "Look, we just risked detention in order to sneak out to visit him, and he doesn't have the decency to be there! That's just not right."
"Give it a rest, Sirius," James yawned, hastily shucking his clothes. "We'll just ask him about it when he gets back."
"No no no," protested Sirius. "We can't just ask him. He's always told us that he goes to the hospital wing for a transfusion because of his blood condition. Yet when we, out of the goodness of our hearts, risk detention and the wrath of Filch to visit him, he turns out not to be there."
"So maybe something happened," James said, crawling into bed. Peter had hidden his head under his pillow.
"No. He deceived us. This is a Mystery, and Mysteries must be Solved." He sat on his bed, tucking his legs under him, the wheels of his mind spinning too rapidly to permit sleep. "This requires stealth."
"Maybe he floos to St. Mungo's," James mumbled, already half asleep. "A blood transfusion is probably too complicated for Madam Pomfrey to do here."
"Bugger that," Sirius said. "Next time he leaves, I'm tailing him."
o
And that's just what he did the next month. After their final class of the day, Remus slipped away, and Sirius followed him through the halls. Remus first went to Gryffindor Tower and came down with his bookbag. But he didn't go up to the hospital wing. Instead he went downstairs to the side entrance that led to the greenhouses. There he met up with Madam Pomfrey, and Sirius thought for a disappointed moment that James might be right after all.
But them Pomfrey and Remus went outside.
Sirius slipped out after them, keeping them in sight, but following far back and hiding behind trees, bushes, and any other convenient bit of cover. He couldn't tell if they were speaking or not. They crossed the grounds and drew close to the Forbidden Forest. He was about to get very excited about that when they made a detour and headed straight toward the Whomping Willow.
The tree grew agitated as they approached, its branches twitching as if preparing to strike, but Madam Pomfrey picked up a long stick and pushed a knot on one of the roots. The branches froze in place, and she and Remus walked toward the tree - and disappeared.
His nerves snapping with excitement, Sirius scampered after them and discovered an underground entrance hidden among the tree's gnarled roots. He crept down the stairs and found himself in a dark passage. Up ahead, he could just hear the faint footsteps of Pomfrey and Remus.
An underground passage! This was great! They'd already found four hidden passages. Sirius would have to thump Remus for not telling them about this one.
After a decent hike, he came to another set of stairs leading upward. He quietly crept up and opened the door at the top. Stepping through, he found himself in a ramshackle old house. It looked quite large and definitely old. Cobwebs shrouded everything, paper peeled off the walls in great sheets, and ancient candlesticks drooped lopsidedly in their holders. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust.
Which made following Pomfrey and Remus' tracks very easy.
In fact, the only part of the house that looked like it had been disturbed in the last century was a pathway of footprints and scuffles. The house might be abandoned, but someone was coming here regularly.
He followed the dust-free path down a hall, where it stopped at a door. He could hear voices on the other side, and he leaned closer, pressing his ear against the door, but he couldn't make out any words.
After a minute or two, he heard footsteps approaching, and he quickly hid behind a curtain. Pomfrey opened the door, turning back inside to say, "I'll see you tomorrow morning, dear." With a final nod, she closed the door. Then to Sirius' surprise, she fastened a series of latches and bolts that ran along the length of the door, finishing off with a giant padlock. Her task complete, she headed off down the hallway.
When he was sure she'd gone, Sirius crept forward and studied the locks. There were eight in all, each one of a different make. They looked thick and sturdy, and they shone brightly in the dim light of the hall.
Every single one of them was brand new.
He stood outside the door for a full five minutes, debating whether to try to spell the locks open or to just bang on the door and call out to Remus. But in the end he decided not to do either. Even though he'd put his ear to the door and heard nothing inside, he figured it wasn't too smart to barge into a room that could be occupied by someone in addition to Remus. No, Mysteries needed to be Solved in a much more sneaky way.
So he spent an hour inspecting the house. He checked out the adjacent rooms, wandered around on the upper floors, and found his way outside, where he saw that the house was located high on a hill above a nearby town that must be Hogsmeade. The house had to be the haunted one that the older students were always talking about. He had long wanted to visit the Shrieking Shack, and he was a bit disappointed to find he'd stumbled upon it by accident, and it was just a dirty, rundown old place with nothing more mysterious in it than Remus. Then again, that was proving to be a very puzzling mystery, if not a scary one.
The sun had set and the light was fading from the sky by the time he reentered the house. He wanted to stop by Remus' door once more before heading back to Hogwarts, but as he entered the hall, he heard noises, almost like whining and growling. Cautiously he drew closer. He had no idea what was happening in there, if it was Remus making those sounds, or someone - or something - else. He listened intently, his heart pounding.
A loud scream rent the air. Panicked he stumbled backward. The scream sounded positively inhuman, and he turned and ran down the hall, back to the secret passageway, flying down the stairs and through the tunnel. He tripped over an uneven patch of floor and went sprawling, but was back on his feet in an instant. He shot out of the tunnel so fast, the Whomping Willow never had the chance to take aim at him. His breath hitching in his lungs, he kept running until he pelted into the Gryffindor common room.
Everyone stopped and looked up at his arrival, but he barely spared them a glance. His eyes sought out James and Peter sitting in a corner playing Exploding Snap. Without a word, he turned and headed up to their room. The other two followed him up the stairs, and as soon as the door closed behind them, they pounced on Sirius.
"What the hell happened to you?" James demanded.
"You look like you ran into a gang of Slytherins!" Peter added.
James pointed at his knee. "You're a mess, and you're bleeding."
Sirius looked down and saw a large gash in his pants leg, smeared with dirt and blood. "Bloody hell."
James took his arm and dragged him over to sit on the bed. "I take it you never found Remus."
"Oh, I found him, all right! You guys won't believe it! There's a secret passage under the Whomping Willow, and it leads right to the Shrieking Shack! Madam Pomfrey took him there and locked him in a room. There were like a hundred locks on the door. All new! And I couldn't get inside. And then there were weird noises and screams! And--," he gulped, still frightened but feeling a bit ashamed of himself. "And I ran. I know I should have helped him, but I didn't know what was happening, and I'm only thirteen, and I couldn't get past all those locks anyway!"
"Whoa! Whoa!" James held up his hands against the onslaught. "Remus is screaming in a locked room in the Shrieking Shack?"
"Yeah. Guys," Sirius grew solemn, his eyes wide. "I don't think he's getting a blood transfusion."
"Ten points to Gryffindor for Mr. Black's keen observation," James sneered. "So what is going on?"
"I don't know. But the Shrieking Shack? Maybe Remus is some kind of virgin sacrifice! What if there's a demon or ghost in there, and they sent Remus to be eaten?" He stood up. "We gotta rescue him!"
James grabbed his arm and pulled him back down again. "Hold on, genius. Think about it: he's always going there."
"So - maybe it's a vampire! Maybe a vampire lives in the shack, and the people of Hogsmeade made a deal with it that if they send a tasty young kid there, then it will leave the town alone! My God! It's a blood transfusion all right, only Remus is the one giving the blood!"
Peter shivered. "A vampire is sucking on Remus?"
"Listen to yourselves! You sound like a couple of idiots. No one's giving up Remus to be sucked on by a vampire," James scoffed.
"Or maybe--," interjected Sirius, "maybe he is the vampire! And they send someone up from town for him to suck on!"
"There's no way Remus is a vampire."
"How do you know?" asked Peter, nervously chewing on his thumbnail. "I don't remember ever seeing his reflection in a mirror."
"And how often do you look at other people's reflections? Anyway, vampires can't stand the sun. Remus has been in the sun with us plenty of times. He's no vampire."
"But he's always so tired when he comes back!" Sirius pointed out. "Maybe it's a ghoul, or a dementor, and it needs some innocent soul to feast on every month. Poor Remus! He's being sacrificed month after month..."
After month. Every month.
His eyes rose to meet James', and he saw an answering suspicion mirrored behind those glasses.
Peter glanced back and forth between them. "What?"
Sirius jumped off the bed and went hunting for his astronomy chart. "What days was Remus gone last month?"
"Um - he missed the Quidditch match. I think that was the 13th," James answered.
Sirius jotted the dates down. "And before that? We had that quiz in Transfigurations, and I remember being pissed that he'd missed it."
"Yeah, when was that?" James dumped out his bookbag and looked through his class notes. "Here it is: January 17th."
Peter knelt on the floor next to them. "What is it, guys?"
"And before that?"
While Peter begged to be let in on the secret, Sirius and James reconstructed all the dates when Remus had gone for his "blood transfusion." Then Sirius pulled out his lunar chart and checked it. After only a couple of dates, he looked up at James, his face pale. "Bloody hell."
James was frozen in place, eyes wide and unable to look away from Sirius.
"What?" Peter demanded. "What's going on?"
Without taking his eyes off Sirius, James said, "Remus is gone every full moon."
Peter's brow wrinkled. "What's that got to do with vampires?"
"Not vampires, you stupid git," James snapped. "Werewolves."
Peter gasped. "They're feeding Remus to a werewolf?"
"Or-or-," Sirius licked his lips. He could barely bring himself to say it. "Or he is the werewolf."
Peter hesitated, glancing to James as if to see whether he thought this was as crazy as the vampire idea. But James remained silent, staring at the chart, and Peter whimpered. "Remus is a werewolf?"
"He can't be a werewolf," Sirius protested half-heartedly. "Remus? He can't say boo to a butterfly!"
"He's not scared of butterflies," James said.
"But Ravenclaw first-year girls can beat him up! Everyone would beat him up if I didn't protect him."
"It's not that he can't fight, though. He's pretty strong," James pointed out.
"But - little Lupin? Doorstop? He's not werewolfy at all."
"They're perfectly normal the rest of the month."
"Remus is a werewolf?" Peter whimpered. "There's been a werewolf sleeping in our dorm?"
Sirius shuddered. It was a nerve-racking thought. "He can't be a werewolf."
"There's one way to find out," James said.
Sirius looked up at him. He knew what James was thinking, but he couldn't quite accept it. "What?"
"Let's go and see."
"What!" Peter squealed.
"You said the place was locked up tight," James said. "We'd be safe."
"No way I'm going!" said Peter.
Sirius' stomach did a flip. He was even more scared now than when he'd been in the shack and heard that scream. But this was Remus. Remus, who just might be a werewolf. Who would have thought it? Mild-mannered Remus. There was something horrifyingly thrilling about the idea, like discovering that your cute pet kitten had just eviscerated a squirrel.
He grinned up at James. "Let's go."
o
Peter came with them, of course. Though he whimpered all the way and kept begging them to go back, and Sirius finally threatened to bloody his nose if he whined, "A werewolf has been sleeping in our dorm?" one more time.
"But what if he turns into a werewolf at the wrong time," Peter fretted, "and eats us in our sleep?"
"Werewolves only change at the full moon, idiot," James snapped.
"But what if there's an eclipse or something?"
"What would that matter?" Sirius wondered.
"Look!" James wheeled on Peter. "A werewolf - if indeed Remus is one - has been sleeping in our dorm for almost two years! If he was going to eat us, he would have done it already!"
Sirius chuckled. Danger always cheered him up. "I wish he would eat you, Pee Pee!"
"Don't call me that! This is serious!"
"I'm always Sirius," Sirius smirked. "Look, if you really want, I'll switch beds with you. That way James and I will be on either side of Remus, and if he turns into a werewolf at the wrong time, he'll eat us first, and you'll have plenty of time to escape."
"But his bed is right next to the door!" wailed Peter.
"Shut up!" James hissed. "We're here."
The three of them stood still, silently looking up the stairs, holding their breaths.
"Can you hear anything?" James whispered.
"No." Sirius lit his wand and held it up. Its cool light was not at all reassuring.
"Can't we go back now?" Peter begged.
"No." Raising his wand before him, Sirius headed up the stairs, James behind him, and Peter bringing up the rear.
Thin shafts of moonlight penetrated the gloom. Not enough to provide any illumination, it only confused their perceptions. The light from Sirius' wand case eerie shadows along the wall, emphasizing the many hiding places from which who knew what creature might suddenly leap.
Sirius paused in the hallway, his eyes wide open, staring past his wand into the surrounding darkness. "Do you hear it?" he whispered.
Sounds, indistinct and muffled. Movement.
"Where is it?" James asked, his voice directly against Sirius' ear.
Without a word, Sirius led them down the hall. The floorboards creaked underneath their feet, and the shuffling sound they'd heard before stopped. All they could hear now was their slow footsteps and rapid heartbeats. Sirius didn't even dare to breathe.
The light from his wand fell on the door, gleaming on the locks. They looked heavy and reassuring, and he relaxed slightly. There was no way anything could break through that.
James pointed down at the thin sliver of moonlight visible underneath the door. A shadow moved back and forth across the light. And then they heard it: a snuffling sound, wet and brusque, like a large dog investigating a scent.
The shadow stopped. The sniffling fell silent. James clutched at Sirius' left shoulder, and Peter's fingernails dug sharply into his right arm. All three of them held their breaths.
Crash! The frame shook as something large threw itself bodily against the door, and they jumped back. Fierce growls and scratching, as if a beast were trying to break through the door to get at them.
For a moment they froze in place, like small animals cornered by a predator. Then an ear-splitting howl pierced the night, and they all three screamed in echo. Shrieking, they ran back down the hall, out of the house and through the tunnel. But now Sirius was in the rear, his wand casting crazy lights all over the tunnel walls, and he was sure something was following him. Vicious snarls filed his ears, and he could feel hot breath on his heels, and whose stupid idea was it, to go into the Shrieking Shack in the middle of the night to see a werewolf?
They stumbled out of the tunnel in a heap, but they weren't quite fast enough. Something dark leapt at them and caught Peter's legs, knocking them all to the ground. "It's got me! Don't let it kill me!" he blubbered, but all Sirius could think about was untangling himself from Peter so he could get the hell out of there. Something hit him on the temple and he screamed and lashed out with his wand, poking his attacker in the ribs.
"Ouch!" James yelped. "Cut that out!"
"The werewolf's got me!" sobbed Peter.
"It does not! That was the tree!" James said. "I stopped it. Now get up off your sorry arse, and move!"
Embarrassed, Sirius blinked and looked up. The Whomping Willow loomed above them, silhouetted against the full moon. They were alive. By some miracle, they were alive.
"I think I'm gonna throw up," he moaned.
Peter lay crying on the ground, and James grabbed his arm and hauled him to his feet. "It's all right, Peter. We're out."
"Oh my God, you guys, that thing was gonna kill us!"
"It was locked up. We weren't hurt. Now can we please get out from under this tree, or we will get hurt!"
Clinging to each other for support, they managed to stumble clear of the tree, where they fell to the grass, gasping for breath and trembling.
"Oh my God, James," Sirius panted. "That was the scariest thing I ever did."
"Yeah, and I don't think I care to do it again any time soon."
Sirius pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. "Do you think that really was Remus?"
"I suppose we don't know for certain," was James's cautious reply.
"Like hell we don't!" Peter protested. "A werewolf's been sleeping --."
"Yes, we know, Peter!" snapped Sirius. "Give it a rest!"
But Peter wouldn't. "He could have eaten us at any time!"
"No, he wouldn't," James said. "We've always been perfectly safe, whether in our dorm with Remus, or in the shack with that..."
"With Remus," Sirius supplied.
"Putting us in a dorm with a werewolf! When my parents find out --."
In a flash Sirius was on Peter, his arm across Peter's throat. "Don't you dare."
"Sirius," James warned, trying to pull him off Peter.
"It's not safe!" Peter whimpered.
"You can't tell anyone, Peter! None of us can tell anyone. If we do, what'll happen to Remus?"
"What do I care? He's put us all in danger --."
"No he hasn't," said James. "Look, Peter, I know you're scared - we all are. But we can't forget, this is Remus we're talking about. We've been living with him for two years. We've always been safe. He's our friend."
"Your friend," Peter shot back, then froze, realizing what he had said.
"He's our friend," James repeated.
Peter looked to Sirius. "You barely tolerate him. You're always picking on him."
It was true, but that didn't seem relevant to Sirius anymore. "So? James is right: he's still a Marauder. We stick together." He grinned. "I guess this makes him our pet werewolf. Pretty cool to have a werewolf for a mascot."
"He's hardly a pet," James said.
"Who'd have thought our Doorstop would have such a dangerous secret?" Sirius mused. Then a scowl crossed his face. "I'm gonna kill him! Why didn't he ever tell us?"
"Oh, I don't know, Sirius," James retorted. "Maybe because most people are afraid of werewolves?"
"With good reason!" Peter pointed out.
"Still, he could trust us."
"I wouldn't trust us," said James. His brows knit together and he sat up, his expression grave. "Look, guys, we have to make a vow. For Remus' sake. We have to swear to stick by him and not tell anyone, ever. Who knows what kind of trouble he could get into? We have to swear: Marauders united, forever." He stuck out his hand.
Sirius placed his hand on top of James'. "I swear. Though I'm still gonna kill him for not telling us."
Peter looked at them both. "Can I still have your bed, Sirius?"
"Better yet, you can swap with Remus. That way you'll be next to the door." He smirked. "Though you'll have to watch out for fleas in the sheets."
"You bastard," James chuckled.
Peter slowly reached out his hand and laid it atop the others'. "All right. I swear I won't tell anyone. Marauders united, forever."
"Does this mean we're not even going to tell Remus that we know?" Sirius asked.
James considered this. "No, we have to tell him. He deserves to know that he's still our friend, even though he's a werewolf."
Sirius couldn't help a silly grin. "I still think that is so cool."
o
The next morning, one minute after the library opened, Sirius plopped a fat copy of "Werewolves: Malady or Madness?" down on the check-out desk.
Madam Pince stared down her long, thin nose at him. "Sirius Black, checking out books? You must be up to no good."
He flashed her the most dazzling grin in his repertoire. "Just a homework assignment, ma'am."
"Right. And I'm the Squid's grandmother." She stamped the book. "Due back in two weeks."
"Yes, ma'am!" Sirius chirped, sliding the book under his arm and dashing off.
"And I'll be checking it for pumpkin juice stains when you return it!" she shouted after him.
When he met James and Peter for breakfast, he pulled the book out and laid it on the table.
"Put that away!" James hissed. "People will see it and get suspicious."
"It's just a silly old book."
"Right, except you never read anything that's not for an assignment or mischief."
Reluctantly, Sirius put it under the table. "I just figured we ought to learn about what we're dealing with."
"I agree, but keep the book in our dorm."
Peter sulked into his sausages. "I don't care what you guys think. I'm getting a bunch of garlic and hanging it all around my bed."
"You do that, Pee Pee," said Sirius. "Then when Remus attacks you, you'll know no vampires will come swooping to your rescue."
"Remus won't hurt anyone," James responded, with the automatic air of someone who had already said it twenty-five times that day.
Under the table, Sirius ran his hand over the book, itching to browse through it. "Do you think he's still a werewolf during the day?"
James hissed, "Don't say that word!"
"Sorry. Do you think he gets his 'blood condition' during the day?"
"I don't know. I think it's just at night."
"If garlic doesn't work," asked Peter, "then what does?"
"A muzzle?" was Sirius' helpful suggestion.
James scowled. "Not funny."
Sirius reached across the table for a pitcher of pumpkin juice and poured himself a glass. "You know, I've been thinking about those locks. I bet I could get them open."
"Sirius, are you daft?"
"I mean during the day, if his 'blood condition' isn't active. I could go see him."
"Don't you dare! We're leaving him alone until he gets back and we can talk to him."
Sirius sighed. "Right. Whatever will I do until then? Guess I'll do what Remus would, and read a book."
"Fine," James scowled. "Just don't do it where anyone can see you."
o
Throughout the remainder of the day, Sirius was even more intolerable than usual. Even James wanted to punch him in the mouth by the time they went to bed. The idea of such a dangerous secret right there in their own dormitory was more excitement than Sirius could bear, and it all seemed much less scary than it had the night before.
Remus Lupin had always been pretty much beneath Sirius' notice. He was shy and quiet, and he fretted about his schoolwork more than Sirius thought was proper. He couldn't even swim, as Sirius found out when he had thrown Remus into the lake their first year and the kid had almost drowned in three feet of water. Then there was his mysterious "blood condition" which took him out of commission for several days out of every month, forcing Sirius to do unpleasant things like be quiet and not jump on Remus when the boy was feeling poorly. Such restrictions cramped his style, and he's always considered Remus to be a millstone around the Marauders' collective neck.
Of course, the kid did have a good mind for detail, and he was meticulous and patient when it came to working out the particulars of Sirius' many lofty and noble schemes for mischief. It was Remus who'd figured out how to get into the kitchens. Remus had discovered two of the hidden passageways, and he'd learned about Filch's weakness for the Muggle singer Frank Sinatra, which came in handy when Sirius was stuck in detention. All he had to do was get Filch talking about Sinatra, and he invariably lost track of time and let Sirius go early. So Remus had his uses. He was the kind of guy that, if you were a bankrobber, you would want him to drive the getaway car, because he'd remember to keep the tank full, and he wouldn't lock the keys in the car or get arrested for a traffic violation when you were making your escape.
But that was as far as it went. He was the last guy you would ever suspect of being a werewolf.
It wasn't fair, really. Sirius would be wiling to bet that Remus didn't even take full advantage of his lycanthropy. If Sirius were a werewolf, he knew exactly who he'd bite: his stupid twit brother, for one. Severus Snape and his big nose, for another. And he'd piss all over his parents' house and chew up his mother's shoes. Remus probably didn't do anything like that, probably was content to keep his little secret and never tell a soul.
But now Sirius had discovered him out. A werewolf in his own dormitory. Just think of the possibilities.
o
Remus was in worse shape than usual by the time the full moon period was over. Something had disturbed him the first night. He had no idea what it might have been, but the room was in a shambles by morning, and he had wounded himself severely. His hands were bloody and aching, two of his fingernails had been ripped off, and there were great claw marks gouged into the door. The next two nights weren't quite as bad, but it left him wanting to crawl into bed and sleep for a week. He hadn't been able to get much of his homework done, so not only was he sore and worn out, but he was even farther behind than usual.
After Madam Pomfrey had fetched him from the Shrieking Shack and patched him up, she'd sent him back to Gryffindor Tower. The rest of school was in class, so he encountered no one as he dragged himself through the halls. Twice he'd had to sit down on the steps and rest. He almost wept in frustration when one of the staircases chose to move with him on it, resulting in an even longer route back to the tower. By the time he had crawled up to the second-year boys' dorm, he was worn out. He knew he ought to study, but all he wanted to do was sleep.
He dropped his bookbag on the threshold and shrugged out of his robe, letting it slip to the floor. Not even bothering to remove his shoes or the rest of his clothes, he crawled up onto his bed, but as he reached for his pillow, something on Sirius' bed caught his eye: a large book with the word Werewolves in tall letters. Stunned, he froze in place, his heart thudding heavily in his chest. The shock was too much for him in his exhausted state, and his arms buckled beneath his weight. He collapsed onto the bed and curled into a fetal position, panting in alarm.
It had to be a coincidence. Sirius couldn't have figured him out. He had no doubt that Sirius and James both were smart enough to discover his secret, but Dumbledore had assured him that people had a tendency to see only what they wanted to see. For a year and a half he had seemed to be right. Remus' story about a blood condition was just obscure and boring enough not to arouse his dorm mates' interest, and they'd never really asked anything about his monthly absences.
But could his luck have run out? Would Dumbledore allow him to stay if Sirius, James and Peter had figured him out? More importantly, would they hate him? His friendship with the Marauders had become more important than his chance to study at Hogwarts, though both possibilities had always been on shaky ground. He got the feeling sometimes that the other boys just included him because he was the fourth person in their dorm. James was the only one who he was reasonably confident liked him. Sirius, on the other hand, would freely bestow his favor only to turn around and withdraw it again in a heartbeat, and Peter had almost no use for him at all. But it was Sirius' displeasure Remus feared most.
But he was too weary to fret about it for long, and before he knew it, he was fast asleep.
o
Someone was calling him. He desperately wanted to sleep some more, but the intruder refused to leave him alone.
"Come on, little Lupin. Wake up!" Something tickled his cheek, but he wasn't awake enough to swat it away.
Another voice spoke up. "Let him sleep. He looks exhausted."
"He's only pretending." Again that tickle on his cheek, and he shifted away.
"See? Come on, ickle Remus. Wakey-wakey!"
A third voice now, nervous. "Are you sure you should disturb him while he's asleep?"
"Shut up, Peter," the second voice warned.
James, Remus drowsily mused. That was James.
"Remus!" the first voice barked. "Wake up!"
That was definitely Sirius.
"Let him be, arsehole!" James ordered. "Get off his bed!"
Remus rolled onto his back, forcing his eyes open. "It's all right. I'm awake." He gave a huge yawn and propped himself up on his elbows. Rubbing his eyes, he blinked to see his three dorm mates gathered together at the foot of his bed, staring silently at him. Peter looked frightened, James worried, and Sirius as if he were about to burst from excitement.
"What?" Remus mumbled. Suddenly he remembered the book, and his eyes shot over to Sirius' bed, but the book was no longer there. He looked back at the boys.
Sirius grinned, the menacing kind that Remus had grown to fear. "You've been a naughty boy, Remus."
His stomach roiled at that, and James rebuked, "Shut up, Black!" He looked at Remus, his expression even more worried. "Are you all right? You look like hell."
"I-I'm fine," he lied as he sat up against his pillow. Fighting his rising panic he asked, "What's going on?"
"Guess what?" Sirius teased. "Last month we went to visit you in the hospital wing. But you weren't there."
Oh shit.
"James thought you probably flooed to St. Mungo's for your treatment. He wanted to just ask you about it. And that's what you would have told us, isn't it? Or something like that."
Remus could only stare at Sirius. He could barely breathe, let alone speak. His lungs strained to get enough oxygen.
James laid a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "You're scaring him."
Sirius dropped his grin. "Hey, Remus," he said, his voice surprisingly soothing. "It's okay. We know."
An invisible veil seemed to fall over Remus, clouding his vision, muffling his hearing. It was so hard to breathe. His lungs pumped but he couldn't get any air. He was suffocating.
He saw Sirius reach out to him, saw his lips moving. Words floated to him from far away.
I followed you... We were there... heard noises... Every full moon...
God, why couldn't he get any air? Why had his lungs stopped working? He could feel himself start to black out.
Strong arms caught him, and he was being held tightly against someone's chest. Hands on his back, and patting his head. Warm breath against his ear, murmuring, "It's okay. It's all right."
Having those arms wrapped around him helped, as if they were restraining his madly heaving lungs. He squeezed his eyes shut and saw spots dancing beneath his eyelids, but he didn't quite pass out. Slowly, breathing got easier and he didn't have to strain so hard.
Dimly he heard the other boys talking about him, though the blood still pounded in his ears too loudly for him to hear what they were saying. The voices sounded concerned, though, not angry or frightened like he would have expected.
Someone touched his hand, and he opened his eyes to see Peter offering him a glass of water. He raised his head and withdrew from the arms holding him. It was Sirius, his brows drawn together. And the hand rubbing his back belonged to James, sitting next to him. Remus looked from one face to the other, and all three wore the same expression: concern, for him.
Again Peter extended the glass of water to him. "Drink this," he gently urged.
Remus raised his hand, but it was shaking too badly to take the glass, and Peter helped him hold it. He gulped down several mouthfuls, but his stomach rebelled, and he had to stop drinking lest he get sick.
James kept rubbing his back. "Are you all right?"
Remus wasn't exactly sure how to answer that question, but he nodded.
"Look, you don't need to worry," James continued. "We made a vow not to tell anyone."
Sirius shot a quick glare at Peter. "Yeah. Despite some people being total prats, we talked about it, and we're all fine with it, and we won't ever tell anyone."
Remus knew he should feel relieved. He should feel grateful. But their assurances only frightened him more. "Why?" he stammered, his voice threatening to crack.
Sirius shrugged. "Because you're a Marauder."
Remus again looked from face to face. It was too much. He had never belonged anywhere except on the resident's ward of St. Mungo's, and he knew many people thought that was too good for him. He had long ago accepted the fact that he was a monster, that he could never reveal his secret to anyone, that no one would ever stick up for him if they knew.
He blinked rapidly against sudden tears. He didn't want to cry in front of the boys, not when they were being so kind. But it was too much. It was too incredible.
Sirius noticed his losing battle and said, "One thing, though. If you change at the wrong time, you have to promise to eat me and James first, so Pee Pee has time to get away."
"Sirius!" Peter squeaked, his eyes wide. "Don't say that! I didn't mean --!"
But Remus laughed, the tears thankfully receding. "All right, I promise," he agreed.
"Good wolfie!" And Sirius reached out to ruffle his hair.
Joy blossomed in his heart at the contact, and he smiled. Maybe sharing his secret wouldn't be such a disaster after all.