THE QUEST FOR THE EVIL HAIR PRODUCTS!
Live At The Apollo. This is an anagram of Eat All Th'Evil Poo. PS. Evil Poo has nothing to do with this story. PPS. If it did, I personally wouldn't take interest in this story if I was reading it.
DISCLAIMER: From last time, I forgot to mention that I do not own Pepsi. It is yummy, but if I owned it, it would taste of... (Looking at previous paragraph) ...Evil Poo.
NOTE: If you have never seen the British (Scottish)children's show Balamory, you might not understand all of this chapter. It was kind of for my own entertainment... Hahaha... Balamory is owned by the BBC. HA!
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CHAPTER FOUR - SPIRAMORY
It was twelve noon on Tuesday, and Kuja's Airship was pretty much flying across endless plains.
"I can't BELIEVE you KIDNAPPED me and took me aboard my OWN Airship and FORCED me to FLY it into the DEPTHS of NOWHERE!" Kuja cried, angrily and overdramatically.
"Uh, actually, we're on a mission to find the Evil hair stuff." Sephiroth explained. "We didn't KIDNAP you so much as RECRUIT you."
"You recruited me? YAY!" Beamed Kuja, all happy and joyful again in the pilot's seat. Now, if Kefka was still in that seat, the Airship would have crashed and all three of them would have died. "I'm the Pilot, right?"
"...Are you sat in the pilot's seat?" Seph asked. It didn't sound sarcastic, but Kuja obviously thought it was. He WASN'T being sarcastic. He really didn't know it was the pilot's seat! Just like Squall... Well, yeah, there were alot of seats around. Kefka was sat in one, looking at alot of coordinates.
"Yes! SO THAT MEANS I AM! WHOO-HOO!" Kuja excalimed, raising his fist into the air.
"H-Hey!" Kefka yelled, entering the bridge after mooching around the ship. "If Kuja's the Pilot, what position am I?"
He swished his cape around.
"I think I would make a good Captain, don't you think?"
Sephiroth and Kuja just burst out laughing. After five minutes of just laugher, and Kef staring at them like they were idiots, they stopped.
"Uh... You can be the Navigator!" Sephiroth suggested, since he DID think Kefka would be useful at maps and stuff.
"NAVIGATOR? COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!" Kef smirked evilly, and then he hopped into the Navigator's seat and looked at lots of little coordinates on the computer screen. "I'll figure out where we are then! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
Wow... That really DIDN'T need an evil laugh. OH WELL.
"I'll be Captian." Seph said, swishing the Masamune about because... He's cool. And not as illogical as I made him out to be. It WOULD be fitting seeing as how he was like... The General of SOLDIER. I know being a Captain would be stepping back a little, but only in the army, not on Airships. In fact, aboard Airships, Captain is the highest rank! WOO! And like Gippal said to Nooj in FFX-2 about being a Captain, all you have to do is shut up and look important!
"Do we have to call you Captain?" Kuja asked.
"No..." Seph replied, because he didn't really like the idea of actually being referred to as Captain.
"ALRIGHTY!" Kuja again excalimed, raising his fist in the air... Again... "Now, let's find our hair stuff so my hair doesn't go all dull and I stop being evil and start donating to charity..."
And then he shuddered at the thought, and then, the Airship's phone rang! YAY! And now, I don't know why the Airship has a phone. It just does. It's on the wall of the bridge.
"..Hello?" Sephiroth answered it.
"I know you're alone..." IT WAS THE SINISTER VOICE FROM THE FIRST CHAPTER! ARGH!
Seph looked around. Kefka and Kuja were there... DOY!
"Actually, I'm not." He said.
"Oh..." The sinsister voice said, not really sounding very sinister any more. "...W-Well... This sucks..."
"Can I hang up now?" Sephiroth asked.
"NO! NO! I HAVEN'T FINISHED SCARING YOU YET!" The 'sinister' voice yelled, and then it made a very, very, VERY incredibly stupid and very, very, VERY incredibly annoying long 'E' sound, gasping for air at random intervals. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (gasp!) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (gasp!)EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (gasp!) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (gasp!)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--"
"STOP THAT!" Shouted Seph, putting the phone back to his ear after holding it at arm's length. Even holding it at arm's length he could still hear the annoying 'E' sound. "You're not scary, you're just really, really annoying."
"You STEREOTYPE the SINISTER VOICE?" The sinister voice excalimed in an offended manner.
"Yes." Sephiroth said blankly. "Yes. I sterotype the sinister voice."
"...You will die in seven days..." The sinsister voice said, now sounding more sinsister again.
"What?"
"Oh... Uh... Nothing. But, if you hang up, you will die."
Sephiroth just scratched the back of his head.
"Do you even know where I am?" He asked. How LOGICAL of you to ask that, Sephiroth!
"Uh... Not really." The sinister voice said sheepishly.
Then Seph just hung up, because he can't STAND idiots like that! Ugh! Who CAN? Well, probably people who ARE idiots like them... Ehehehehe...
"Who was it?" Kefka asked.
"The sinister voice that's supposed to be 'stalking' me." Seph sighed, shaking his head.
"OOH! OOH!" Kuja yelled, waving his hand about. "KEFKA! There's a location up ahead!"
"Uh... Whaddaya want me to do about it?" Kef asked, slightly rudely.
"Set the coordinates for landing there!" Kuja replied.
Kefka stared at all the controls infront of him.
"How do I do that?" He asked.
"GRRR!" Kuja exclaimed, banging his head on the controls. "Forget it. I'll just land us here."
And so, they landed on a grassy area, which was covered in mist. When they had jumped RIGHT OFF the Airship, they saw that there was a little village built on the cliffs, with buildings that were all brightly coloured. So, they just went into it! JUST LIKE THAT! To completely save time.
Now, did you know that in Britain, this song would be sung by Scottish kids. In the US, however, it is sung by... umm... American kids. Whichever way you want, the children are possessed! And so... As soon as they entered the village, annoying theme music began to play and possessed children and the Fayth of Bahamut appeared to sing... Sounding... Possessed.
Spiramory,
Spiramory.
Who's been murdered
In Spiramory?
Wouldn't you like to know?
Death, destruction,
Pain and suffering.
Where would you like to go?
The three villains jumped back in surprise at the possessed children. They also covered their ears (I wonder why). Now Kefka, as a child snatcher, though about SNATCHING them. But, he had to get the Evil hair stuff, so he put his ideas aside for now.
Not like Waka Laka,
It's Lulu and Wakka's,
Is that where we should go?
Spiramory.
Or up to the castle,
Inventing with Kimahri.
He's ever so clever and
Ever so arty.
They tried to run, but the possessed children just followed them! ARGH! And the Fayth was LEADING THEM! ARGH! Sephiroth thought about just turning around and killing them, but they were also the Advent Children that Kadaj was talking to in the Ancie-- Oh my God, I never said what happened to Kadaj!
"HELP ME!" Kadaj yelled as Bahamut drew EVER CLOSER! But it was too late for me to put something about him in here. I have to get on with Spiramory!
Who's been murdered
In Spiramory?
Wouldn't you like to know?
Choosing our plots schemes
And stabbing with pain,
To Seymour we should go.
Spiramory.
Or bouncing off walls
With Rikku Rump,
Will that be the story
In Spiramory?
As they were running, Kuja pictured all the very annoying children as overgrown Shittake mushrooms. But unfortunatly... He was using his hands to plug his ears, so he couldn't destroy them... Anyway, I don'tthink he's heartless enough to kill kids. Or maybe he is...? Whatever. He didn't kill them, though.
Death, destruction,
Pain and suffering.
Where would you like to go?
Shall we have fun
And cycle with Auron?
Is that where we should go?
Spiramory.
Or check wheels for vices
With Tidus McCrisis,
Wouldn't you like to know?
So...
Anyway, they outran them eventually, and took refuge in the Spiramory Nursery. Sephiroth banged his head on the door frame first, but then he got thorugh once he ducked down. The building was quite low down. It was his misfortune for being... Taller than the Author! But still, the possessed noise... CONTINUED!
Death, destruction,
Pain and suffering.
Where would you like to go?
Spiramory.
Here is Miss Yunie to
Tell us a story,
But how will it all begin?
Is it rainy, sunny,
Windy or cloudy.
Playing outside,
Or SIN!
Is today a day where
We will play
Blitzball or something lame?
Who's been murdered
In Spiramory?
Wouldn't you like to know?
Death, destruction,
Pain and suffering.
Tell us where we will go!
AT LAST! IT WAS OVER! HURRAH! But, anyway, they had, out of pure coinicidence, taken refuge at Miss Yunie's place of work.
"Hallo!" Miss Yunie (Yuna) said, in a Scottish accent, as she shut the door behind her. "Ahm Miss Yoonie!
She was wearing a brown and green version of her summoning robes, and her hair was like it was in X-2, only without the crazy ponytail. And she had a green hat on! YAY!
"Whaht're your names?" She asked.
"Well, I--" Kefka began, but then he was interrupted.
"Oh, of course!" Miss Yunie said, before skipping over to a cupboard and putting her hat away.
"Umm... Miss Yunie?" Sephiroth asked. "We're looking for information on--"
And then he was interupted by the noise of tyres screetching loudly. And, apparently, it was.
"Oh! Theyre's the school bas!" Miss Yunie said perkily. "I wander whoo'll be caming to tha Spiramory Nursery tooday?"
Then, all of the possessed children got onto the big blue school bus parked outside the nursery. And then, fairly pointlessly, they all got off again.
"Hallo, Miss Yoonie." They all said at the same time in the same possessed (Scottish) voice.
"Hallo, children!" Miss Yunie said, again very... Perkily.
And then, who waltzed in, but the bus driver - Tidus McCrisis! (Intended but not very good rhyme.)
"Hallo, Miss Yoonie!" He said in a Scottish accent. "Hallo other characters fram other Final Fantasies!"
"Hallo, Tidus McCrisis!" Miss Yunie said.
The villains didn't say anything to Tidus because he is a weirdo. Everyone who's anyone who knows about Tidus also knows that he is weird. Let me tell you now, at that time he was wearing tight leather clothing and a cap that had Jecht's 'J' on it. It was a bus driver's uniform that made him look like the 6th Village Person. Yeah... Kuja liked it, anyway.
"WOW! Mister McCrisis!" Kuja said in a very... Flirtatious way...
"It's Tidus!" Tidus said, oblivious to Kuja's tone, and then he gasped becuase no one is supposed to say his name! ARGH!
"Okay..." Kuja said, not being 'flirtatious' anymore. "Tidus, Miss Yunie, we're looking for some information."
"An what?" Miss Yunie asked in her lovely Scottish accent.
"On the case of the stolen Evil hair products!" Kefka replied, feeling quite upset that someone was evil enough to take away his Evil Frizz-ease. He's finally getting what's coming to him... As are Sephiroth and Kuja! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyhoo...
"Hmm... Evil, did you say? Well, I think I know someone who can help you there!" Tidus said with a thoughtful look. "Wait here a second!"
And then he dashed outside and calypso music started to play and he began singing and dancing. Oh joy... At least he had rhythm, though.
Which coloured house
Are we going to?
Tell me what do you think?
Which coloured house
Are we going to?
Tell me what do you think?
Red house, green house,
Orange or yellow?
Pink house, blue house,
Tell me, do you know?
White house, orange house,
Green, red or pink?
Blue house, yellow house,
Tell me what do you think?
And then he hopped right back into the nursery.
"C'mon! We hahve ta goh see Seymour the Pain-ter!" Tidus yelled.
Seymour the Pain-ter was known to be the most EVIL and MALICIOUS painter in the whole of Spiramory. In fact, he inflicted PAIN, so he wasn't a painter at all. No, he was a PAIN-ter!
"IT'S THE ORANGE HOUSE!" A not-so-possessed little girl squealed in a Scottish accent.
"Well, ahctually, YOU hahve ta goh see Seymour!" Tidus said, cheerfully pushing them off his bus once they had arrived at the orange house. I'm guessing he didn't know who he was push-- Oh, wait... He did... Oh well, that's crazy old Tidus for ya! Then he just drove off like the three of them WERE'NT the most kick-ass villains of Final Fantasy.
But none of them cared. They just thought that they were there and they didn't need his help anyway... I mean... Tidus wouldn't really help in a situation like that, so much as make it worse.
"Is this Seymour's house?" Kefka asked. "Why are we here?"
"Seymour must have information on the Evil hair stuff." Kuja replied, being very swishy and swishing his hair back as usual, because Kuja is just... Very... Swishy...
Seph examined the orange door. It seemed Kuja's mansion would fit PERFACTLY into this village of Spiramory. Then, he knocked on it, because it seemed like Seymour didn't have a doorbell (ahahahaha! THAT SENTANCE ALMOST SORT OF RHYMED! HAHAHAHA!).
And the door, after a few moments, swung open. And who was standing there but... SEPHIROTH, KEFKA AND KUJA! And inside... SEYMOUR!
"Who are you?" Seymour asked, NOT in a Scottish accent, because if he did, Seymour wouldn't be Seymour, would he?
SEYMOUR
Aka. Seymour Guado (full name), Maester Seymour, Lord Seymour, Seymour Butts, Seymour the Pain-ter
Age: ARGH! I KNOW THIS! 23? IS IT?
Occupation: Maester of Yevon (I don't have to put evil. They're all evil.), Leader of the Guado
Height: Uh... Does his hair count in addition to his height?
Weapon: A little... Wand... Thing... Mini-Staff... WHATEVER!
Seymour. Seymour Guado. Seymour from Final Fantasy X. NO! I DON'T WANT TO SEE MORE OF FINAL FANTASY X! I am ADDICTED to the BEAUTIFUL GRAPHICS! Ahahahahaha! Lots of laughter! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Seymour as in "Lady Yuna, it would be a great honour if you accepted my hand in marriage, and we could CRUSH Spira like a grape!" Seymour as in Anima's son... Before she was the giant chained-up fish Aeon of Darkness of the friggin' world! Seymour as in Jyscal's son.
Well, there's alot to say about Seymour. He was SUPPOSED to stop Sin with Anima, I think, but he didn't, and killed his father ten years later or whenever the hell it was. He killed his father, tried to marry Yuna to become Sin and heal the world yadda yadda yadda, we all know the story of FFX. Asides from the fact that he was blue hair and weird clothes and massive veins, Seymour also has very stange hands. Now, they MAY BE strange, but at least he can reach things further than normal people can.
Now, please don't hate me, but I don't hate Seymour. At all. No, I really don't. I know there are plenty of people who find him REALLY annoying, but I'm just gonna tell you now. I don't dislike him. I'm not saying he's a great character, I'm just saying he's not the worst. It COULD be worse for FFX. The villain could have been... WAKKA! I HATE WAKKA MORE THAN ANYTHING! DIE, WAKKA, DIE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU RACIST FAT-ASS! DIE, BITCH!
To summarise: Seymour sounds like 'see more'. He is Anima's son (like Sephiroth is Jenova's! But... Anima actually IS Seymour's mother, it's not just extracted DNA). He is weird looking. He can reach things normal people can't. He isn't the worst character ever. He should kill Wakka. Everybody should kill Wakka. Wakka is racist towards the Al Bhed. He should die a slow, painful death.
Well, anyway, Seymour spoke in his lovely normal accent.
"Answer me!" He demanded.
"Are you the one they call Seymour?" Sephiroth asked in an oblvious manner.
"ANSWER ME!" Seymour just demanded further.
"We are the knights that say 'ni'." Seph said blankly, because I decided he's not going to be illogical for a while... And by a while I mean a few lines. "Now, are you Seymour or what?"
"You must leave at once, unless you can give me a valid reason why I should NOT say 'DEATH AWAITS YOU!' and Dismiss you like Aeons! AEONS I SAY!" Seymour yelled.
"Two words." Sephiroth said, holding up his sword. "Masa. Mune."
Kuja tapped him on the shoulder.
"Sephiroth? Masamune is one word." He said.
Seph stared at Kuja, then at the Masamune. He was too illogical to know that Masamune was all one word. Tsk, tsk, tsk...
"Oh..." He said slowly."I always thought it was two words."
"Is there a MEANING to your RAMBLINGS?" Seymour screetched in his screetching voice, which is like his normal voice, but slightly ultrasonic.
"Not really..." Sephiroth said, scratching the back of his head and lowering the Masamune. He's not easy-going. He's just... Illogical.
"THEN GET OFF THE DOORSTEP OF THE HOUSE OF SEYMOUR!"
"Hey, that rhymed!" Kefka chuckled. But it didn't really... So...
"MUST YOU MOCK ME ANY FUTHER?" Cried Seymour, tunring red and slamming the door. "GOOD DAY!"
As Seymour went inside, there was another knock at the door. Damn! And he was just heading for a nice comfy chair, too.
"WHO DARES RE-KNOCK ON THE DOOR OF SEYMOUR?" Seymour literally screamed as he swung the door open.
"That rhymed too!" Kef said, grinning... Evilly... This time it kind of did rhyme...
"URGH! What do you want?" Seymour surrendered.
"We're looking for information on the Evil hair stuff." Sephiroth said. "The crazy bus driver they call Tidus said we could find some information from Seymour the Pain-ter."
"That would be me." Seymour said, calming down. "Indeed, I do have information."
"Really?" Kuja gasped.
"Yes; But that doesn't mean I'm going to tell YOU three!" Seymour replied.
"Why not?" Kuja asked, slightly annoyed that Seymour had got his hopes up for a second there.
"Because you were mean to me!" Seymour sobbed. "I HATE PEOPLE BEING MEAN TO ME!"
And then he was just... In tears... Anyway, Kuja pulled Kefka and Sephiroth away from the door to talk to them.
"PSST!" He whispered. "Maybe if we cheer him up, he'll tell us the information!"
Kef looked over at Seymour who was still just... Crying... On the doorstep. Then he went back to the converstation.
"How do we do that?"
"Don't worry!" Kuja whispered happily. "Let me handle this! I know what ALWAYS cheers me up when I'm upset!"
And then he skipped off back to Seymour.
"Hel-lo!" Beamed Kuja very... Perkily.
Seymour looked (down. It would be more fitting if it was up, but, you see...) at him with teary eyes and said nothing.
"It's okay! I'm not gonna be mean to you!" Kuja persuaded him to cheer up a little. "Because, you know what?"
"W-What...?" Seymour stuttered.
"You're the Queen of Everything! YAY!" Kuja excalimed.
Sephiroth and Kefka then fell over Anime-style in the background. Seymour just blinked.
"Now all you have to do is take a long bubble bath and listen to NSync for a while, then the Backstreet Boys, and if you have time Westlif--" Kuja was dishing out advice until Seph came and whacked him over the head.
"KUJA! SHUT UP! THAT'S ISN'T GOING TO HELP!" He yelled.
"W-What d-d-does h-help... Then?" Seymour asked slowly.
Sephiroth scratched the back of his head again.
"Uh... Well, I used to kill people if I was ever stressed." He said. Yes, he USED to. He has been trying to fix that murderous habit of his...
Suddenly... Seymour stopped crying! YAY! And his face lit up! YAY!
"You know... That isn't a bad idea!" Seymour excalimed. "YEAH! I think I'll go kill the person who depleted me of my Evil mousse!"
"Oh, so, the robbery affected you too?" Kuja asked, recovering from being hit.
"YES! YES OF COURSE IT DID! WHERE WOULD I BE TODAY WITHOUT MY EVIL MOUSSE?" Seymour yelled at the very top of his voice. His hair is strange. It requires lots and lots of mousse to keep in in place like that. Lots and lots of EVIL mousse. So the answer to his question is... Not very far on the strange-o-meter.
"Oooh... We're going to kill them too, aren't we, guys?" Kuja said, turning to the other two.
"I like rainbows." Sephiroth said. Actually, he wouldn't ever say that, so we'll let Kefka talk.
"That's right." Kefka confirmed, raising his fist into the air. "I MUST HAVE MY REVENGE!"
So, you all saw it coming, Seymour agreed to join them on the quest, seeing as how he's a villain who uses Evil hair products and also he needed his revenge too, otherwise he wouldn't be happy, despite Kuja's advice on boybands and bubble baths.
"TO THE AIRSHIP!" Kef yelled overdramatically.
And then there was a 60's style Batman scene transition with to outline of Kefka's head, and then they were all on the Airship! YAY! Why so fast? TO SAVE TIME, DAMMIT!
So, anyway, since Seymour knew curative spells, he agreed to be the ship's Doctor. Now, I knot that not alot of people would like Seymour to be their Doctor... But, out of him, Sephiroth, Kefka and Kuja, who would you trust the most? If you think Sephiroth... Well... He DID surgically remove Jenova's head. YET SHE STILL SOMEHOW LIVES! Well... Sort of... ACK! If you think Kefka... What are you, STUPID? If you think Kuja... Prepare to hear, whilst on the operating table 'OH MY GAWD! THIS IS GOING SO SUP-ER! THANKS FOR AS-KING! WHOOPS! ...TIME OF DEATH 20-19! AL-RIGHT PEOPLE! IT'S AALLL OV-ER!'
"So, what do you know about the Evil stuff." Sephiroth demanded, because he was pretty annoyed that Seymour hadn't actually told them yet.
"Well..." Seymour replied. "The crime was committed by a crazy person. That's all I know."
"WHAT?" The others all yelled, because THEY ALREADY KNEW THAT! ARGH!
"But I have a good idea which crazy person it is!" Seymour continued, then he chuckled in his ritzy voice. "We'll need to head for a place called Zanarkand, in the far North."
"Zan-arc-hand...?" Seph said, looking slightly confused. He obviously can't understand long words like Zanarkand and rendez-vous. Why? Because he's too illogical, and he likes rainbows.
"Yes. Zanarkand." Seymour said. "To Zanarkand we shall go and CRUSH our enemies like hazlenuts under our shoes!"
What a strange similie... Or is it a metaphor? Similie? Metaphor? I DON'T KNOW! ARGH! Anyway, Sephiroth just scratched the back of his head again in confusion as Seymour walked past, laughing manically.
'God... I've heard more sense come out of Loz and--' Sephiroth though, but then he yelled his thoughts out loud because... OMG! THEY WERE BAD! "OH MY GOD! THE SHMS!"
But it was alright. The SHMs, Gavin, Gereldene and 463 (who had found a way out of the dungeon) had jumped aboard the Airship Celsius with Yuna, Rikku, Paine, Brother, Buddy and Shinra! And they were going to be Sphere Hunters! YAY! Yes, I know Yuna JUST APPEARED in this chapter as Miss Yunie, but do I care? NO! NO I DON'T! FOOLS!
But I bet you're wondering what happened to all the other flunkies Sephiroth tried to call! Well, even if not, I'm going to tell you anyway. Well, they were all wobbling along, but Cloud was stuck in traffic in his crappy little electric car that he traded in his awesome huge sword-holding bike for.
"Hello." The car said in a depressed manner as they moved at the speed of a snail. "I'm an electric car. I can't go very fast or very far. And if you drive me, people will think you're gay."
"People already think I'm gay." Cloud said to the car. He could have an interesting conversation with that car. But no. No, the electric car was too depressed. Then he just remembered the many Yaoi fics that were written about him, as a very appropritate song came on in the background...
Cloud X Vincent
Darling, so there you are...
With that look on your face.
Cloud X Sephiroth
As if you're never hurt...
As if you're never down.
Cloud X Squall
Shall I be the one for you,
Who pinches you softly bu--
"Mr Cloud?" The car interrupted Cloud's trail of thoughts.
"QUIET! I'm thinking about Yaoi stuff!" Cloud yelled. "Now keep going. You're not an AUTOMOBILE for NOTHING!"
And then he trailed off again. Poof! Just like that! But then Faye Wong argued that she wasn't going to sing anymore. So Cloud just... I don't know... Ate some pie. Why pie? Cloud can keep pie in his car.
"I sure can!" Cloud agreed.
But then again, we don't know how long that pie's been there... The car told him.
"Oh God. I haven't even had this car for that long!" Cloud yelled, and then he rolled down the window as fast as he could and puked out of it. What a nice way to end this chapter... Yes... Nice... Nice being sarcastic... Doy...
BASS IT!
FAQ: WOO-HOO! I got a question! Even though it wasn't stated that it was for the FAQ... OH WELL! IT'S A QUESTION!
Killer Chocobo: What about Ultimecia, and dare I say it, Seymour?
ArcBus: Well, Seymour came in this chapter, didn't he? I've told you over PM when Ultimecia is coming approximatly. You and I are the only people who have estimates! GASP! I hope you feel honoured, you lucky, LUCKY, person, because NO ONE ELSE will know ANYTHING until she actually comes!
Seymour: Why did you 'dare' say it?
ArcBus: Seymour. This chapter's over. Go get ready for the next one.
Seymour: Ugh... FINE! --Walks off mumbling insults.--
ArcBus: Anymore questions? YOU ARE 100 W-E-L-C-O-M-E to ask ANYTHING about this fic! ANYTHING YOU LIKE! You can even ask me MY opinions, like my favourite SHM!
Yazoo: It's me, isn't it?
ArcBus: --Shifty eyes incase Kadaj and Loz are around.-- ...Yes...
Yazoo: WOO-HOO!
ArcBus: And YES, yes, you can ask Yazoo questions too.
Yazoo: Who are you talking to? IT'S NOT CONAN O'BRIEN, IS IT?
ArcBus: And any other characters. I dunno. Just ask questions! PLEASE! Or I'll kill... YAZOO!
Yazoo: NO! DON'T! NOO!
ArcBus: What else can I do? I've put 463 in the dungeon (and got him out again). I may or may not have killed a Cid (you'll all have to keep reading to find out!). SO NOW I WILL KILL... Well, ONE OF THE SHMS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
FURTHER DISCLAIMER: I do not own the electric car's first quote. It is the electric car from The Simpsons that says 'Hello, I'm an electirc car blah blah blah people will think you're gay'. And the song slotted inbetween the Cloud X Whoever scene was Faye Wong - Eyes On Me (FFVIII), But we all knew that, didn't we? I do not own Batman, either. I just like the scene transistion thing.