As the grandfather clock struck midnight, the six wrestlers all felt the cold air continue to swirl around them in the only free bedroom of the entire 18th Century, Gothic Mansion. The dull, ancient furnishings were tired, worn and dusty.
"How can we get warm?" Kurt asked, gazing around the room in hope of inspiration.
"What's behind that dresser?" Randy questioned, standing to his feet.
With the help of Carlito, they moved the dressing table awayto discover a greyfire place. Although small, everyone knew that some heat would be better than none.
"Wow, how lucky can you get!" Shelton spoke.
"How d'ya light it?" Shawn quizzed.
"Well, it's fairly new. It's gas powered so all I need to do is light it with the lighter and hopefully it'll light." Triple H pitched in. Alas, his plan failed. "There's no gas."
"Can't you give it any?" Shelton asked.
"After all, you've always been full of hot air!" Randy mocked.
"Dat...dat was a cool joke!" Carlito smirked.
"Ha ha Orton, come over here while I shove this lighter up your ass, we'd get a pretty cosy fire going then!" Triple H retaliated.
"I wonder where Mama's got to..." Shawn muttered.
"Why? Are you missing her?" Randy teased.
"No, I'm just saying she's been gone an awfully long time." Shawn looked helplessly towards the door.
"I say we get a nap in before she gets back." Carlito piped up "Coz when she does, Carlito has a feeling that that bed will be a little preoccupied."
All five men glanced at each other, all thinking the same thing.
"But there's only one bed..."Shelton mumbled.
"Welcome to our world!" Kurt pointed at himself and D Generation X.
"Looks like we don't really have much of a choice!" Randy screwed his nose up.
After a few moments, all six men were 'comfortably' in the double bed. Triple H, Shawn and Kurt were all laid in their original positions at the top of the bed. Randy, Shelton and Carlito were scrunched up in the spaces between the other three men's bodies.
"How come we have to sleep at the bottom of the bed?" Carlito complained.
"Because I had dibs on the top end." Kurt stated.
"Me too." Shawn added.
"Plus, I like sleeping next to Shawn!" Hunter nodded, Carlito and Randy peeped at each other in a disturbed manner.
"I know someone else who would like to, given half a chance!" Kurt joked innocently.
"Leave my Mama out of this!" Shelton moaned.
"Yeah, sorry, she isn't here to defend herself!" Kurt apologised.
"It's a little weird how she's taken to you...over me!" Randy spoke arrogantly "After all, I am the Legend Killer and one hell of a ladies man!"
"What about me, Carlito. I'm the coolest man alive!"
"Hey, guys, you're fighting over my Mother!" Shelton reminded, a little shocked.
"If she was twenty years younger, Carlito may have considered giving her a test drive. She likes it rough!" he raised his eyebrows.
"Man, you're talking about my Mom!" Shelton looked on in disgust.
"Please be quiet!" Shawn begged.
"Yeah, just go to sleep!" Hunter demanded.
The other five men decided it was a good idea. Blowing out the candles, they all rested their heads in as good a manner as they could. After a few moments of complete silence, a voice spoke up.
"It's dark in here." Kurt whined.
"What do you expect us to do about it?" Randy questioned.
"I dunno...it's just...too dark." Kurt shuddered.
"For fucks sake." Hunter mumbled "Can't you just shut up and sleep!"
"Sorry!"
"Come to think of it, I'm not even tired." Shawn sat up, winding Triple H up even more.
"Me neither." Kurt agreed.
"Why the fuck are you still in bed then?" Hunter asked in annoyance.
"You told us to!" Shawn reminded.
"Where's my Mama?" Shelton whinged.
"She has been gone for ages." Shawn agreed.
"C'mon Shawn, lets go for a walk and find them." Kurt decided.
"Good idea." he granted.
"Yeah the rest of us might get some sleep around here!" Triple H grumbled.
"Bless! Are we all stressed out?" Carlito mimicked.
"Button it, bum fluff head!" Hunter struck back.
Shawn and Kurt left the room before they could get stuck in the argument, both of them glad to be getting away from the others for a while.
"I wonder who lives here?" Kurt quizzed rhetorically.
"Someone who hates cleaning!" Shawn sneered at the amount of dust on the picture frames.
All of a sudden, there came laughter from the living room area. Kurt and Shawn both stood and listened intensively for a few minutes, each giving concerned looks to the other.
"We need to check that out!" Shawn decided, picking a picture from the wall as a weapon for any intruders.
"I agree!" Kurt spoke, selecting an umbrella as his weapon of choice. "What? It was the nearest thing to me!"
Both men crept carefully down the stairs, aware that they couldn't make too much noise in case they needed to sneak attack the new impostor.
"Ready?" Shawn whispered, Kurt nodding in response.
The two men bounded into the living area, shocked as to who they found.
"Edge? Lita? How'd you two get here?" Kurt inquired, dropping his 'weapon'.
Edge was laid on the sofa with Lita to his left side and Mama Benjamin the other! Kurt and Shawn could hardly believe what their blue eyes were being witness to.
"We saw DX's car parked outside along with the gorgeous Mrs Benjamin's here." Edge announced "So, as we couldn't find the hotel coz of the thick, white, creamy snow, we decided to stay here for the night. Mrs Benjamin is being most welcoming." he licked his lips in pure satisfaction.
"Plus, we've been here many times before." Lita raised an eyebrow, running a finger over Edge's hairless chest.
"How come?" Shawn questioned, placing his cute little butt on one of the other seats in the room.
"Are you kidding me, Michaels? I know you are a Born Again Christian but I never thought you were naive!" Edge chuckled.
"I'm disappointed in you, Shawny!" Mama Benjamin responded, moving closer to Edge's muscular body.
"Wait? Why is he naive? This is just an old house, there's nothing more to it...right?" Kurt gulped.
"Oh yes, there is!" Lita purred.
Meanwhile, back in the bedroom, Triple H was tossing and turning. He simply couldn't sleep without Shawn...
"Hunter, do you mind!" Randy piped up "You nearly kicked me in the nuts!"
"I never knew you had balls, pussy!" Hunter retaliated.
"At least I'm not an ass kissing bitch!" Randy raged, sitting up in bed.
"Oh yeah coz, the last time I checked, it was the other way around a few years ago. Remember a little faction, what were they called? Argh, yes, Evolution?" Triple H reacted.
"Watch your fucking mouth!" Orton seethed, both men now out of the bed.
Carlito and Shelton meanwhile were sat up in bed, sprawling for a fight.
"Hey, Shelt, does you Mama keep popcorn in her handbag? I've got a feeling that this fight is gonna be a good one!" Mr Cool expressed amusement.
However, before the pointless spat could really take place, Shawn and Kurt leapt back in the room, still in astonishment at what they had just been told...
"Oh my gosh, guys..." Kurt began.
But what is so unusual about the house?
Next chapter in 'Things That Go Bump In The Night!'...
What is the mystery Kurt and Shawn have just uncovered? How will the other superstars react to the news as well as the arrival of Edge and Lita? Does Mama Benjamin fall in love...again?
Check back for more, soon!