Randy and Carlito were exploring the vast house in search of their 'supplies'. Each clutching a candle, they came to a door. Behind that door, there was a flight of stairs; a long, winding stair case which approached a darkened room.
"Jackpot!" the Legend Killer exclaimed, "C'mon!"
"Are you sure?" Carlito cautiously questioned. "It might not be down there..."
"Of course it will be!" Randy rolled his eyes "It's the basement, that's where it's usually kept."
"I guess..."
"Come on, we have nothing better to do. Let's investigate!" Randy urged, leading Carlito down the dimly lit stairs.
Meanwhile, in the living room the rest of the wrestlers were sat waiting expectantly for some food. However, it wasn't just to be the four of them for long...
"Where the fuck is my Mama Benjamin?" Edge scowled, Lita hand in hand with him.
"In the kitchen making us dinner." Shawn exhaled.
"That's great; that's just swell! I've been waiting upstairs for her. It's bad enough that I haven't go any other entertainment other than my girl here anyway and it's pathetic that the only other shag I can get is with a fat, middle aged woman!"
Shelton stood to his feet. He disliked Edge at the best of times but today was just about to tip him over the border...
"Shut up man, before I make you shut up!"
"Easy, Shelton!" Kurt uttered, standing between the two men.
"He's only saying what everybody else in this room thinks!" Lita interrupted, stepping forward. "It's only he has the balls to say it!"
Triple H stood near them. "Geez, for a split second I thought you said 'he'?"
"I did!"
"Survey says you should have said 'we' instead!" Hunter wise cracked.
"Ha ha, you're pathetic too!" Edge spat, retaking Lita's arm.
"For a second I thought you were looking in a mirror!" Triple H shrugged. "But then I remember that I'm a ten time Champ. You held the belt for a month and I can make sure that you lose that belt now quicker than before!"
Before Shawn could even attempt to be the voice of reason, unusual laughs and giggling could be heard coming into the room.
Randy and Carlito waltzed in to the room, arm in arm, each swigging a bottle of brandy.
"H...he...hel...hello ya'll." Randy greeted, releasing Carlito from his clutches. "How ya'll doin'?"
"What the hell?" Triple H turned around in confusion. "How many of them have you had?" he questioned, pointing at the brandy bottle.
"Ummm...more than...than one...I think!" Orton shrugged, taking another gulp of the alcoholic clutched firmly in his hand.
"D...Dat's cool brandy!" Carlito smiled manically, opening the other bottle he had brought with him.
"Ok, you guys need to go and sober up somewhere!" Shawn told.
"What, us?" Randy almost chocked, swallowing the bitter beverage "We're just fine, 'HBK'!"
"Never felt cooler!" Carlito nodded.
"Just sit down." Kurt urged the two men.
As both Carlito and Randy sat down on the sofa, the other men looked at each other in concern.
Randy sat grinning mischievously at Carlito. Lifting his hand to Carlito's head, he began to pat his beloved afro. "Pretty cat!"
"Wha...where?" Carlito shot up, searching for the feline.
"He's so soft," he replied, taking a break to hiccup "and furry!"
"Hey, leave my pussy...pussy a...alone!" Carlito smackedRandy's hand in agitation, his eyes drooping slightly.
"Me...I like pussy!" Randy hicked once again.
Suddenly, Orton did a sitting nip up and dashed up the stairs to the bathroom. Sliding down the banister stairs, he staggered into the room with several rolls of toilet paper.
Lobbing a roll at Carlito, Randy unravelled his roll, screwing it into balls. Creeping behind Hunter, he threw one of his home made balls at his former Evolution team mate before jogging back to the sofa and retaking his seat next to Carlito.
Hunter raised an eyebrow at the 26 year old. "Wow, that really hurt me!" he spoke mockingly.
"Owww, I'm really sowry!" the Legend Killer got up once again "I didn't mean to hurt you!" he continued, travelling closer very slowly to Triple H. "I would never, ever hurt you!" he gulped.
"Orton it's called sarcasm, ok?"
"No...no...no, I don't wanna think of Hunty hurt!" Randy added, scraping the King of King's hair away from his eyes. "Whe...where did I hit you?" he soothed.
"On my head." Hunter said crystal clearly.
"Lemme...let me kiss it better!"
"No, really Orton, it's fine!" Hunter eyed him awkwardly.
"No, I feel...feel...bad!" he responded.
Puckering up, Hunter shot away from Randy, flinging himself into the first available room; the kitchen.
Stood slaving over a fire lit, luke warm stove, Mama Benjamin turned to spy the Game. "Are you ok, honey?" she questioned Motherly, seeing Hunter facing the door.
"Yeah, just fine." he nodded, delving his hands deep into his trouser pockets, strolling a little closer to Mama. "What are you making?"
"I really don't know what to do," she frowned, shuffling some of the coal from side to side with the only poker. "This damn stove is taking ages to heat up."
"Have you got much food in your bag?" Hunter pointed at the rather large satchel that she kept with her at all times.
"Sure, go ahead and look!" she signalled, still preoccupied with the stove.
Triple H became wide eyed as soon as he saw all of the goodies in her bad; all fresh ingredients, kept fresh with several cool boxes and blocks. "I only like to feed Shelton on the best food - that's how he is so big and strong!" she smiled affectionately.
A sadistic smirk crept over the face of Hunter. "Say, I see you've got a lot of fresh chicken in here!"
"That's one of Shelton's favourite foods you know!"
"You know, your little Edge-poo loves chicken."
"Does he?" Mama gasped happily.
"Oh yeah, he's very easy to cook for is the Rated R Superstar! But, do you know what his all time favourite food is?" Hunter wrapped his arm around Mama's shoulders.
"No?"
"Chicken curry - the spicier the better, just like his lady friends!"
"Oh my gosh, that's perfect! I've got plenty of rice and peppers! I can easily rustle up some sauce! But, what about you? Do you like curry?"
Hunter's grin became cheesier yet brighter "Oh yes, I love curry!"
"Does everyone else?"
"As far as I know - except for Shawn...he can't stand spicy foods, curry, huh, he detests it!"
"Well, who cares about Shawn anyway." Mama mumbled, forcing her way out of Hunter's lock and delving deep into her bag. "Tell all of your friends that their food will be with them in the hour. Oh, yeah, but don't spoil the surprise...I know Edge likes surprises!" Mama beamed, puffing up her hair to continue her cooking.
"Oh don't worry; Mama's the word!" Hunter winked to Mrs. Benjamin, tapping the side of his nose.
But do the right people like what Mama's cooking?
Next time in 'Things That Go Bump In The Night!'...
Randy and Carlito's drinking spree goes a step too far. Plus, has Edge bitten off more than he can chew?
Check back for more, soon!