"You bastard!" Lita snarled, tugging on Hunter's shirt, making him face her. "What the hell have you put in his drink?"
"Well, that would be telling now wouldn't it? After all, not all of us around here kiss and tell!" Triple H mocked, turning back to peer out of the window with his friends.
"You listen to me!" the flame haired diva stood in front of him, more than a little pissed off. "If anything happens to my Edge..."
"Your Edge? Wow, he's owned!" Hunter joked.
"Hunter." Shawn sternly implored, making the King of Kings turn to face him.
The Game knew that Lita wasn't the only one looking for answers; Shawn and Kurt were waiting for an explanation too.
"Fine." he sighed, pulling his hair away from his face. "Chilli powder..."
"Is that it?" the Queen of Extreme continued to ask, placing her hands on her hips.
"And...salt."
"What else?" the 1996 Olympic Gold Medallist inquired, folding his arms over his chest.
"Maybe...a little hot sauce...only a few drops, I swear!"
"Thank you!" Lita glared, returning to the side of her lover.
The Heartbreak Kid and the Wrestling Machine were still stood directly in front of the Cerebral Assassin.
"What!"
"Nothing, it was a good prank!" Shawn whispered in his ear.
"Yeah, nice one!" Kurt agreed, slapping Hunter on the side of the arm, strolling back into the living room.
Lita was still knelt on the floor, trying to make Edge sit up. He was still coughing and chocking a bit, his usually pale face turning a fire engine shade of red.
Mrs Benjamin - who had only just finished her business in the ladies room - came waddling down stairs. Upon seeing Edge, she shrugged a little, not at all concerned.
"Shawn...ummm, can I speak to you for a moment. Please?" she questioned.
"Sure." HBK nodded, following the Raw valet into the kitchen area, closing the door behind him.
"Shawn, I think I should apologise..." she began only to be interrupted by the Heartbreak Kid.
"I understand. I know what happened and I'm sorry that you got hurt." he regretted, referring to Mama's small obsession at the start. "I am also sorry that you and Edge, well, got together..."
"Yeah, me too." Mama semi laughed, half in embarrassment and half in sorrow.
"Well, maybe we should go and see if Edge is ok." Shawn decided, holding the door open for Mama Benjamin.
By the time they made their way back into the living space, Edge was stood on his feet, still clutching his throat, signalling for Lita to go and get him a drink of water.
"You...Bastard!" he spluttered in between coughs.
"What's the matter, Edge? I was only having a little fun with you!"
"More like...taking ad-advantage!" he chocked, gulping the water Lita had returned with.
"Oh yeah, just like you did with Mama Benjamin!" Triple H retaliated, both men now face to face.
"Take it easy guys, everyone's even now, right?" Kurt interjected.
"Not quite!" Shelton piped up, stomping his way through the men before him. "Edge, if you think for one second I'm gonna let sleeping dogs lie then you are wrong. Very, very wrong!" Shelton promised, cracking his knuckles.
"What? You are gonna beat me up? Huh, please! You know what, I'm a two time WWE Champion and the ladies adore me! They can't get enough of me!" Edge egotistically stated. "What are you? Some little pip-squeak that couldn't beat me if I had been knocked down cold for half an hour! You're path..."
Shelton had had enough. Swinging right and left fists at Edges face, the two men rolled around on the floor, each exchanging blows. As Lita and Mama attempted to detach the two men, they simply couldn't hold them back.
Eventually, with a little help from the other wrestlers in the room (except for Orton who was still passed out on the couch), they managed to drag them apart, their faces bloody and bruised. Shelton, who was still struggling against the grip of Kurt and Mama, managed to get from their grasp, once again attacking Edge.
In the mists of the battle, a knock came at the door.
"What on earth?" Shawn muttered to himself, strolling over to the door. He was shocked as to what he discovered.
"You bastard!" Shelton yelled, being dragged away by Kurt and Triple H. "That's the last time you ever talk smack about my Mama!"
"SHELTON!" Mama exclaimed. "What have I told you about using language like that?"
As Shelton looked to the floor in disappointment, Edge stuck his tongue out at Shelton. As both men were let free, Mama spied Edge up and down, wondering over to him before speaking to her son. "You know, Shelt?"
"What Mama?"
"You missed a spot!" She cried, slapping Edge hard on the cheek, grinning to herself as he stumbled to the ground. "Don't you EVER come near me again, you understand!"
"Ye-yes, Madam!" Edge cowered, still trying to regain his composure.
As Shawn came back into the room, he looked wide eyed yet very confused.
"What's up?" Triple H questioned.
"We've been set up..."
"What!" Kurt uttered.
"SURPRISE!" The familiar voice shouted, the man power walking into the room.
"What the hell?" Hunter cursed. "Vince McMahon!"
"Yes, indeed, that's right Triple H - Mr McMahon!" Vince crowed, followed by a couple of camera men.
"You'd better start talking 'Vince'!" Hunter warned, getting close to his face.
"Now, now Son-In-Law, there is no need to be like that!" he continued, taking a seat in the living room. "You'd all better take a seat. And, ummm, Edge, I know you like being on the floor and all of that but you can't do while I'm in your presence!"
Everyone looked at each other in amazement; how could this be a set up?
"Go on, we're waiting!" Kurt urged.
"You wanna know why you're all here, huh? Cooped up in this old, worn down mansion over night?"
"It would be nice!" Shawn muttered, rapidly losing what little patients he had left.
"It's like this. There's to be a celebrity edition of America's Funniest Home Video's and I thought that it would be great if..."
"What? You could get us all in on it, arguing, tearing each other limb to limb while sharing a damn bed?" Hunter piped up, a little angered to say the least.
"I thought you liked sharing a bed with Shawn!" Edge disrupted Hunter, who was glaring at him in a pissed off manner.
"Yes, that's the long and short of it."
"You mean, you took the gas out of mine and Randy's car?" a now sobering up Carlito questioned, tossing an apple in the air, taking steps to the oldest McMahon.
"Yes, I did in deed, with a small amount of help from the product of my very own semen, my son Shane!"
"Dat...dat's no cool!" Carlito sneered, taking a bite out of the bruised apple.
"If you spit that thing at me Mister...YOU'RE FIRED!" Vince warned, turning a nasty shade of purple in the act.
"Wait just a second!" Shawn stood to his feet, staring out of the window. "Where has all of the snow gone? How did it get here in the first place?"
"C'mon Shawn, I thought you could have worked that out!" Vince gleamed to himself. "I didn't just get a snow machine and squirted it over the whole USA!"
"I wouldn't have put it past you!" the Game mumbled.
"I called a good old friend of mine to help me with it...Satan!"
"Satan!" Shelton appeared confused.
"Well, if 'The Heartbreak Kid' gets God, it's only fair that I, Mr McMahon, get the Devil himself, huh?"
"Hang on a sec, I thought the power was out for the whole night?" Kurt inquired. "There wouldn't be any power to film us!"
"Long life batteries are a wonderful creation!" Vince grinned. "And so is night time vision!"
"But I couldn't get a phone signal!" Edge spoke.
"No, you can't do in heavy snow!" Vince leered.
As the wrestlers and women gazed blankly at each other, Vince stood to leave.
"I guess that means we're even, huh, D Generation X?" Vince smirked to himself, remembering how DX and the nWo nearly destroyed him just a few months ago.
"Never, and that's a promise!" Hunter snarled, standing nose to nose to his boss.
"So, we're free to go?" Shelton called.
"What d'ya mean, 'are we free to go'? Of course we can! I'm not sitting in this funk hole any longer!" Triple H demanded.
"Yes indeed Shelton, you are free to go!" Vince peered over Hunter's shoulder, before turning his attentions back to him. "I'll see you at Raw!" he guaranteed, power walking his way back to the limo before having his chauffeur drive away.
"YAHOO!" Shelton and Carlito high fived, dashing up the stairs to collect their luggage, closely followed by Edge and Lita.
"After all that..." Kurt shook his head in disbelief.
"Are you ready to go, Mama?" Shelton questioned, standing near the front door of the mansion.
"Yes, Son. Bye!" she spoke to Shawn, Kurt and Hunter. "And thank you...for everything!"
"Anytime Mama!" Shawn winked to the middle aged woman, observing her as she left with her son and Mr Cool in toe.
Edge and Lita, on the other hand, took their luggage and stormed from the mansion without so much as a goodbye, leaving the King of Kings, the Showstoppa', the Olympic Gold Medallist and the Legend Killer all in the room.
"I don't believe that..." Kurt repeated.
"Come on, let's just get out of here!" Shawn decided, the three men retrieving their bags, blowing all of the candles out and checking to make sure everything is in tip top condition.
"I still wonder whose place this is?" Kurt said, gazing around the vast hall.
"Guess we'll never know." Shawn shrugged.
As the three buddy's approached the door, they all inspected the sofa; Randy Orton was still fast asleep, or more like past out, from his and Carlito's binge drinking.
"Guess Carlito can handle his drink a little better!" Kurt chuckled.
"Do you think we ought to wake him up?" Shawn inquired.
"Nah, come on, we've got planes to catch!" Hunter menacingly beamed, him and his mates returning to their rented car before driving to the nearest air port.
Five hours later...
Randy awoke with a start. 'Where is everyone?' he mused, the piercing day light present in the room now. "Guys? How come there is no snow anymore?" he questioned thin air, spying the view from the window in shock. "Anyone..." he gulped, searching manically around the house.
Well, that's the end of 'Things That Go Bump In The Night!'.
Thank you to everyone who read and especially to those of you who took the time to review it, you know who you are!
I am thinking of writing a sequel to this which should be up shortly if you guys want it…again, it would be a D Generation X vs McMahon saga!
Thank you once again, please let me know of your final thoughts to the story!