Author

I haven't decided who else to annoy yet in my story, so I decided to do, well, me. Why not? It's my story and my birthday is in about two weeks. My ego needs a little inflation. Besides, I'll pop it with a needle afterwards. This chapter is mostly a recap chapter, plus you get to see the REAL me! Bwahahaha. Call me selfish, but I promise to amuse you regardless of my motives. Because now I feel bad and feel the need to make it up to you readers.

"Yeah, and that's why I think you and Raven make an excellent couple. Don't worry, people think you belong with Bumblebee and Raven with Beast Boy. Yeah, I know it's weird. Where do they get these bizarre ideas? Don't worry, they're just opinions. And you know what's worse is that people pair REAL people with each other. Oh, hang on, Cyborg, there's someone at the door. Call ya later. Bye!" I got up out of my chair and slowly went to the door. (Why can't people LEAVE ME ALONE?)

"Hi!" As I unlocked the door, it flew open and nearly knocked me down. "Hey, be careful!" I snapped as Gertrude insisted at making herself at home.

"Hey, whatcha doing?" she asked.

"Uh, wondering WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN MY ROOM instead of BOTHERING A TEEN TITANS CHARACTER?" I tried giving her my best evil glare. Apparently I looked drunk because she said, "Hey. You look drunk!"

"I'm NOT drunk. I'm not even old enough to drive. And I won't explicitly say my age on the Internet." I pointed out, showing her the date of my birthday.

"Wow, you're kinda weird about details, aren't ya?" Gertrude giggled.

I turned away from her and towards you, the reader. "Should I tell her that I made her up; therefore, DUH?"

I turned back at Gertrude and said exactly what I told you: "DUH!"

Gertrude didn't seem to notice. "Hey, what's that on your desk?" She pointed to my notebook, which was open to a doodle of Gertrude in green gel pen.

"That, my doppelganger, is you. Sort of. It never looks the same on paper than it does in my head. So you have messier hair in my doodle than in my actual depiction of you in my mind." I hoped she'd understand.

She didn't. "ERROR. ERROR. DOES NOT COMPUTE. 404 ERROR. Bzzt!"

"Knock it off, moron. You ripped that off the Internet." I was annoyed by my own creation. Embarrassing.

"You ripped that off the Internet, not me." Gertrude pointed out. I sulked. She was actually right for once in the past 3 chapters.

"OK, so, hi. How'd you come up with the ideas you did? Where did all my dialogue come from? WHY AM I NAMED GERTRUDE!"

"Hey, hey, hey, Gertrude, one question at a time! OK, where can I start? Oh, you know how you were talking about Biology with Red X? Well, turns out I didn't know what Kleinfelter's syndrome was, so I made you not know what Kleinfelter's syndrome was. Then the next day my biology teacher taught us about it. Which then I can't rewrite your dialogue because of… technical things."

"Oh, OK. Uh… where did my name come from?" Gertrude was getting annoyed. Good.

"Hang on, I'll get there in a second. You know what's funny about Melody? She was my first original character for Teen Titans, and I've redesigned her about 10 times or so. But she's always been the same."

"But what about-"

"This story was originally about Melody, shockingly enough-"

"BUT WHAT ABO-"

"SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!"

"TELL ME WHERE MY NAME CAME FROM! YOU RAMBLE TOO MUCH!" I think I made Gertrude's brain explode. Oh, well. She didn't seem to be affected.

"O-KAY. FINE. I WILL TELL YOU WHERE YOUR NAME CAME FROM. But it's kind of a long story. K?" I waited for her to sit down and stop wetting herself. There's a disgusting stain on my carpet now. Oh, well, I'll blame the dog.

"F-fine." Gertrude sat down in her… puddle. It made squishy noises. Ew.

"Good. Well it was one fine day in the springtime and we had group picture day at my school. The photographer was this really old guy who gave us each a weird name when we sat down in position. I had three pictures that day, so the first time he called me Henrietta-"

"So THAT's where my alter ego came from!" Gertrude grinned.
"…yeah. Guess what he called me the second time."

"Gertrude?"

"Yep."

"SQUEEEEEEE!" She began skipping around my room in her filthy damp skirt, which was even MORE disgusting.

"SIT DOWN, YOU'RE MAKING ME SICK! And my mom is going to kill you, after she freaks out and wonders who you are."

"But it's awesome to be named Gertrude. Or Henrietta. Is either of those your real name?"

"My name is Allison."

"Oh." Gertrude said, disappointed. "Hi, Allison."

"Shut up."

She did. For a moment. "ALLISON ALLISON ALLISON ALLISON ALLISON ALLI-"

"STOP SAYING MY NAME!" I don't like it when my privacy is invaded. Least of all by one of my own doppelgangers.

"Fine. Neko."

"Where did THAT come from?" I asked, totally caught off-guard.

"I dunno." Gertrude admitted.

"Good." I said.

"Whaddya mean 'good'?" Gertrude snapped.

"Just shut up." I'm bored already of her. I can't imagine how the Teen Titans feel dealing with her.

"OK."

"Hey, wanna hear more stories?" I asked, trying to relieve the awkwardness of the situation.

"No." Gertrude began snoring.

"OK." I went downstairs to get the Little Green Machine and clean up Gertrude's mess.

My mom just so happened to be sitting on the couch with Annie, the little dog. "Could you stick Lily (the big dog) outside?"

"Not right now. I have to clean up. My trash can is leaking." I lied. I got the Little Green Machine out of the closet and back upstairs.

"Gertrude, you better not… Gertrude?" As I came upstairs, I noticed something odd. My door was wide open. I never leave my door wide open when I'm home. Next thing I noticed was that Gertrude was gone. Most importantly, her mess was gone. There wasn't any trace of a stain. Weird.

I sat back down at my desk and recorded my experience with Gertrude, which ends right… now.