Notes: Formerly called Therapy, the title changed to Emotional Instability, and probably will change again. I have this entire story written out, and I'll post once a week until all seven chapters are up--probably on Mondays, unless I'm not here.
Disclaimer: Naruto and it's characters belong to Kishimoto. Not I. Boo.
Story Summary: Every afternoon, after school, Gaara meets with his therapist to try and figure out why he went crazy last year and nearly killed someone. At the same time, she helps him realize things about himself. SasuGaa mainly, mentions of NaruHina and HakuNeji.
Warnings: Rated M for language, abuse, male-male relationships (though there's nothing serious), mention of suicide, violence, and some other things.
Devil Subaru Chan - Of course there's more of Sasuke. There's always more of Sasuke.
green24 - It is sad. But, I'm pretty sure I promised a happy ending, and there's still two chapters (after this one). Hope lives on!
yukiislikesnow - of course you were mentioned, you reviewed. -smile-
Glil - Glad you continue to like this. -smile- I figured I was having enough drama, and need some humor. And, here is the update.
DemanTear - Yeah, mean people suck. And stop hugging Gaara, he's all ready traumatized! -giggle-
Again, an unbetaed chapter. I think I like it this way, though. Sorry for not updating early, I was exhausted from work.
Thursday
Lunch again, and today I did not make any cafeteria workers cry. I'm so proud of myself.
Now that everyone knows I'm gay, I've been getting so many weird looks. But somehow, I don't really give a damn. Haku finally came back and sat with us, and explained that he'd been busy fixing his schedule the past two lunch periods. Sounds fair enough to me.
"Hey, Gaara, you-know-who is coming," Naruto whispers suddenly, making me almost drop my pizza--which, by the way, is burned horribly, since the lunch worker person is a bitch.
"The good one or the bad one?" I whisper back, taking another bite of pizza. He doesn't get a chance to answer, though, as someone sits down next to me.
"Hey," Uchiha Sasuke says, giving a bit of a nod to our small group. Haku smiles and says hi, as does Naruto, while I just sit there. I can practically feel the embarrassment that's about to happen.
Things get really quiet at the table then, before I realize they're all waiting for me to say something. Not bothering to look up, I mumble a greeting and go back to wondering if I can drown myself in my milk to save myself the embarrassment.
Damn, this is so awkward. The person sitting next to me is the guy I've had a crush on for almost a year now. This guy's older brother is threatening to kill me, and has all ready publicly humiliated me and beaten me up more than once.
Naruto saves the day, though, which reminds me why I absolutely adore my best friend.
"So, Sasuke, you heard those rumors going around?"
Scratch that, the blond moron can burn in hell for all eternity.
It should be noted that Sasuke and Naruto are not friends. The last time they socialized by choice, Naruto ended up in the fountain at the mall, and Sasuke got kicked out of Bath and Body Works for three months. It was a really weird situation, but I still wish I had brought a video camera with me to see it.
"I hear a lot of rumors. Most of the time I write them off as bullshit, because people like my brother and his cronies start them. Like the one about the gym teacher having an affair with the creepy science teacher." Sasuke answers, and I blink. So he thinks that Itachi was lying? I don't know if I should be disappointed or not.
"Dude… that was true." Naruto says after a moment, and I choke on my milk. The 'creepy science teacher' is like sixty, and the gym teachers are both like twenty. I really don't want to know which gym teacher had the affair, either. Ew.
"Exactly. I'm going to buy a soda." Sasuke says, pushing himself up from the table. I glance over to mutter a farewell with everyone else, but get distracted about halfway. Partly because he's right there next to me, and partly because I see him drop a piece of paper.
But mostly from the proximity.
Sasuke walks off then, and I grab the paper, ready to call after him--correction, have Naruto call after him--that he dropped it, but something compels me to open it.
Gaara,
Call me tonight, sometime before eight when a certain jackass I have to live with isn't home. Unless I answer the phone, hang up and try my cell. Want to talk to you.
Below that are two phone numbers, labeled as 'home' and 'cell'. My mouth drops open a bit, and I quickly refold the note and push it into my pocket. This is just… wow.
"Gaara, wake up!" A hand snaps in front of my face, and I jump, eyes darting upwards to Naruto. "Finally. You aren't gonna believe this, dude."
"Try me." I answer back, eyes darting towards the clock. I'm not on the sedatives anymore--Chiyo works freakishly fast with that stuff--but it's a habit of mine.
"Okay, you know that girl we saw last night, Hinata? It turns out that her cousin is Neji, the guy who helped me get a job at that one restaurant, because me and him used to take martial arts lessons together. I called him last night to tell him that I met my dream girl, and he said she was his cousin and from there… Well, a lot of stuff happened. But he's gonna talk to her today, and then call me back tonight and maybe I'll get to go on a date with her or something." Naruto grins, and I try to take in all that information. Haku, for his part, looks confused beyond all reason, before going back to his salad.
"That's… great?" I offer, tilting my head to the side.
"That's more than great! I could tell just by looking at her, she's my dream girl!" Naruto answers, before the lunch bell rings. "Anyways, I'll call you tonight and fill you in on the details, later!" And with that we go our separate ways.
It isn't until I'm up on the third floor, waiting for three in the afternoon to come around, that true realization hits me. I have to have my session, get home at about four-thirty, cook and eat dinner somewhere around by six, and before eight call Sasuke. Plus Naruto will probably call me sometime after seven, since that's when he knows I'm not eating dinner. This is going to get complicated, especially since we don't have call waiting or anything.
Hinata leaves Chiyo's office then, and I glance up at her, almost wanting to offer a smile. When she sees me, however, she hurries away down the stairs, so I shrug and just go into the room, plopping down on the couch and dropping my bag at my feet.
"How was your day, Gaara?" Chiyo asks, and I almost grin.
"A lot better than yesterday." I answer, smiling a bit. "The football team had an away meet today, so almost no one was in gym, and the halls were empty. And I got back a quiz during math class, and I'm starting to get this algebra crap. I didn't pass, but I realized what my mistakes were, and talked them over with the teacher." I pause for a moment, trying to recount the rest of my day. I'll leave out the bit about Sasuke, that's too personal to be on a tape recorder. There's really nothing much else that happened, since Naruto was away at the football game all afternoon.
"That's good. I got everything lined up with the specialist, and she's set to start seeing you in two weeks, in the same three-to-four pm slot you have now. I called your house and left a message about it, mentioning that your family will probably want to go down to the office for the first session. The secretary should give you directions when you're leaving."
We sit in silence for a moment, as I wonder if there's really anything else to talk about. Somehow, we end up on the topic of the Varsity football team, and how well they're doing so far this year.
After I leave Chiyo's office--spending an entire forty-five minutes talking about nothing--I walk home, and decide to make spaghetti for dinner. It's something easy to cook, at least. I briefly calculate that--unless Dad works late--I'll be able to be on the phone with Sasuke by six-thirty. Figure in that Naruto is going to call, I give myself a half hour to an hour to talk with Sasuke, unless someone else is on the phone. But that's not too likely, since Temari bought a cell phone, and Kankurou doesn't talk a lot. Dad has a cell phone, too.
I can hole up in my room with the cordless and hope for the best, say that I have to go at seven-thirty so Naruto can call.
Having a social life is such a bother, I now realize.
All of this is passing through my mind as I prepare some quick Italian bread, salad, spaghetti, and sauce. Normally I'm not good at multi-tasking, but when it comes to cooking I can manage. Considering I can't even walk and chew gum, this is something to be proud of.
Dinner is as uneventful as always, unless Kankurou getting yelled at for kicking Temari under the table fits in the category of 'eventful'. Which it really doesn't, because that happens almost every night.
Once the dishes are done and everyone else has settled in for their usual evening routines, I grab the cordless telephone and head up to my room. I sit down on my bed to dial the first phone number on the paper--after a quick glance at the clock--and realize my hands are shaking. Oh, wonderful joyous… joy. I'm nervous as bloody hell, this is going to be fun.
Either way, I dial the number, managing to control my shakes enough not to mess it up, and hold my breath as it rings. The instructions are to hang up if Sasuke doesn't answer, but how will I know--
"Uchiha residence, Sasuke speaking." A voice answers, and I nearly faint. Mostly from relief, but don't get me wrong, knowing that I'm actually about to talk to him is faint-worthy too.
"Uh… Hi, Sasuke… It's Gaara." I finally say, trying to keep my voice steady. Maybe I can just tell him that our phone is weird if he gets suspicious.
"Oh, hey, Gaara. One second, I gotta delete your number off the caller ID listing." There's a pause, then a few bleeps, before Sasuke's voice returns. "There. Glad you were able to call, what's up?"
I stare blankly at my wall, trying to decide exactly what is up, before giving my usual answer. "The ceiling." I feel like an idiot immediately, but what else is there to say?
Sasuke laughs, though, a short chuckle, before I hear a sound like someone falling onto a couch--it's a sound I'm used to hearing, since Naruto is constantly flopping down onto his couch when I talk to him on the phone.
"That's funny." He finally says, and I can't help my own laugh. After a moment, we both seem to calm down.
"I was glad to see you didn't run away today when I sat down." Sasuke says, and I remain silent, since there's nothing to respond to that. He takes my silence as confusion, though, and elaborates. "At lunch. Tuesday when I sat down you ran away almost immediately. Today you stayed there. And you got my note, I'm glad."
Well, how to respond to that? Tuesday I knew I'd have to deal with your brother in gym? Or, even better, Well today I didn't have to go get drugged up. Yeah, right.
"So, why did you want me to call?" I settle on asking, since the curiosity has been driving me crazy… well, crazier.
"Didn't you read the whole note? I wanted to talk." He answers, and I almost feel like an idiot, until he continues. "Those rumors going around… they true?"
Here's the tough part. Do I lie, and force myself into harboring a secret crush forever, or do I tell the truth and risk utter rejection and hatred? Time for the unhappy medium.
"Depends on which rumors you listen to. Like that crap about me having gay porn in my locker. That's utter bull. Kankurou is the only person I know with porn in his locker, because he ran out of room under his bed." I'm talking way too much, considering I'm no where near at ease. Am I a nervous talker? I didn't think so. Maybe I am relaxed? Damn it, this is confusing.
"That's… different." Sasuke says slowly, and I can almost see his face wrinkled into a--cute--look of confused disgust. "So, what about the other rumors about you? How many of those need to be disproved?"
Damn, now I can't avoid it with bullshit. I can lie, but what's the point? Somehow I doubt Sasuke would believe me.
"Again, it depends on which rumors you mean, you'll have to be more specific, I'm not in the advanced classes." Keep stalling, Gaara, you've got this one set.
"All right. Do you like guys more than girls?"
Damn it all to Hell. Okay, just calm down and answer, he can't hate you any more than you're all ready hated. "For the most part, yeah. Girls creep me out, with the mood swings and bleeding for a week every month without dying." Again he laughs, and I feel a bit more comfortable.
"And do you like me?" Sasuke's voice is a whisper, as if he's as afraid of the answer as I am. I swallow hard, opening my mouth to answer.
It's then that the phone clicks in.
"Yo, Gaara, get off the phone and call Naruto, he's so desperate to talk to you he called my cell." Kankurou says, before hanging up again. Part of me damns my luck. The other part celebrates.
"You heard him, right, Sasuke? I'd better get going before blondie has a coronary." I say, trying to avoid having to answer before I hang up.
"Wait. Just answer me first, okay? Do you?" Fucking hell.
"Uh... Yeah. A lot." I say quickly, hitting the end button on the phone without waiting for a response of any sort. I wait a few moments, before dialing Naruto's number.
The entire time I'm talking to him, I can't help but wonder what Sasuke is thinking, now that he knows.
--
I told you things would get happy... Or will they? For all we know, Sasuke's going to make Itachi royally kick Gaara's ass now, because Sasuke could be a major bastard--who happens to be good at acting. Oh yes, plot bunnies are procreating in my mind. Ha ha, ha ha ha.
Oh, the next chapter might not be up for a few days. Gonna be busy, I've got a lot of crap to do as of late. I'll try for sometime next week, though. Keep the reviews coming, I really appreciate them.