A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover And the Prisoner of the Arctic Incident
By Spectra16
A/N: I don't think I should feel so obsessive about a story. Meh. Just as a warning, there's a very blatant excerpt from Prisoner of Azkaban, you'll see it when it comes. I just didn't want to summarize that crucial part. I usually never copy parts of the book like that, because I've put so much of it in Artemis' perspective. So yeah, just wanted to bring that up.
If you like Marauders stories, please read Midnight Paradise stories. She writes some awesome/funny fics, but has like . . . Three reviews total. It's sad. Read the Notes story. I like that one.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, or Lemony Snicket. I find it strange that both Harry Potter and Lemony Snicket books are on their last of the series. As for Artemis Fowl, I dunno. There's only four books to the series right now. If Eoin Colfer stops now, I'll slice open his head and steal his brain.
A/N: Um, yeah. I've totally obsessed over this story. I'm turning into a monster!
Sirius: I escaped Azkaban and all I got was this bloody T-shirt!
A/N: Anyways, I just completely rearranged the events in this story (since I hadn't been going off the Prisoner of Azkaban book before). So yeah, if you don't mind, you might want to read it over. There's added scenes and everything is . . . Rearranged. Complete make over. The first chapter is very much like the original. This is the first time I've ever drastically changed a story I previously put on fan fiction. I'm quite pleased with myself. Yes, I'm typing with my nose, due to being held in a straight jacket. I have no clue why the nice people in white gave me a laptop with internet access, which is more than I got at home (weird). But as punishment, I've been forced to listen to Sk8er Boi 24 hours a day. I've resorted to screaming to drown out the noise.
The food here isn't too bad. I like the jello a lot. And as another perk, Sirius is in my cell. He says 'hi' and 'save me'. I guess he doesn't like Avril Lavigne either.
Sirius: Well duh! At Azkaban, they made me listen to Pink, and I mentally convinced myself that I was a big fan. But this is too much! My brain is physically melting!
A/N: You like the food though?
Sirius: Oh yes. Definitely. At Azkaban, all they gave me was McDonalds French fries and pond water.
A/N: Aawww! (glomps Sirius)
-.-.-.-.-.-
Chapter Four: Punctilio vs. Prophet (Predator can come too.)
Artemis dressed in his favorite black sweater and his new Slytherin scarf as he hurried for the Quidditch field with Hermione and Ron.
"Harry was pretty nervous about this game. I don't understand why. We're against the Hufflepuffs. When's the last time we lost to them?" Ron chuckled to himself.
"Who's the Seeker on their team?" Artemis asked.
"Cedric Diggory," Hermione answered quickly.
The three of them exited Hogwarts into the field and found that the sky looked overcast, lightly raining. To prevent the rain from getting in Harry's eyes, Hermione charmed his glasses to be water proof. They hurried to the stands to watch the beginning of the game. The grass beneath their feet squished and instead of sitting with the Slytherins, Artemis sat with Ron and Hermione. The stands were already anxious for the game to begin.
Madam Hooch sent off the bludgers and the Snitch and all at once, the players started off on their duties. Artemis found this sport to be more intense that soccer and basketball, where the players have different duties, but they are all after one ball. In this game, you had several people flying around, dodging balls and the Seeker trying to catch one. Not to mention, other people trying to score some points on the other team during all of this conducted chaos.
After a while, Harry shot up into the clouds after the Snitch. Hermione and Ron were ecstatic, but Artemis was too busy watching to notice that he should be cheering as well.
Mulch watched through a window in Hogwarts. The one thing about human wizards that excited him was Quidditch. He had been excited about this job the most, because it would require him to stay for a long while, and be able to watch the Quidditch game. He often attended the Quidditch Cup, since few would notice him, with all the goings on. But then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something flying in the sky. It was a ghostly figure, cloaked in black, flying with a broom. Mulch was drawn from the game to search for it, but after a few moments, he went back to watching, assuming that his eyes were playing tricks on him.
Artemis was sure of it now, there were dementors in the sky, crowding in on Harry. He had seen it, felt it's cold nature. Ron and Hermione were cheering with the rest of Gryffindor. Artemis recalled when Harry had passed out in the train after seeing a dementor. With little will to move anywhere, he stumbled to the teacher's stands. He could see Dumbledore, also inspecting the sky. Artemis wondered if he had seen the same. Instead of assuming this, Artemis ran up to him.
"Artemis, where are you going?" Hermione called, with no answer as a reply. Fowl reached Dumbledore.
"I saw dementors . . . In the sky," Artemis wheezed. Dumbledore stood up and Artemis turned around, only to see Harry's body falling from the sky. His eyes widened at the sight of another dementor, which seemed to float down toward Harry. Dumbledore yelled something, but Artemis' mind was racing and did not hear what he said. Harry then floated to the ground, and his team mates raced toward him. Cedric caught the Snitch only seconds before Harry hit the ground. Artemis, Hermione, and Ron raced to him.
-.-.-.-.-.-
After a long while of trying to reassure Harry that it was not his fault that Gryffindor lost. Artemis, no longer wet from the rain, trudged up the stairs to the Slytherin common room after dinner. The room was darker than usual, and Draco was sitting in a chair by the fire place. He looked disgruntled and depressed. Artemis sat beside him, watching him.
"If I asked you what was wrong, would you answer me?" Artemis said quietly. Draco scoffed, as if he had rehearsed this.
"How can you stand Potter and his idiot friends?" Draco spat at the name. Artemis sighed.
"They are good people, Draco. I'm not one to judge by whom they were born of," Artemis was no stranger to Draco's hate for mud bloods. Draco calmed down.
"Yeah? Well, it's the only thing I know to be true," He squeezed the vinyl of the chair. Artemis looked at the fire flicker. He did not know what to say.
"Doesn't it seem logical to you that discrimination is foolish?" Artemis asked quietly. Draco sneered.
"Who made you a boy scout over night?" Draco asked sarcastically. Artemis got up and walked to his room.
When he sat on his bed to take off his shoes, something felt a bit out of place. He looked outside of his window to see if Multice was on his way, but there was no sign of the dark owl. Artemis sat on his bed to think about what kind of report he would do for Foaly. There were so many things he could say. This place was a whole other world compared to the one he lived in.
"Permission to enter, Fowl?" A tiny voice broke his thoughts. He looked out of his window to find a hovering Holly Short.
"Yes, come in," he said, trying not to seem shocked. She came in and stood before Artemis.
"Commander Root just wanted me to drop by and see if you were in one piece or not," Holly said bitterly. Artemis smirked.
"I suppose you were hoping the latter," He breathed. She ignored the side remark.
"Is there anything of importance that needs to be spoken of?" Holly asked. Artemis thought he heard footsteps in the other room.
"No. These people know of magical creatures, but nothing of the Underground. They pose much less a threat to the People than normal mudmen," Artemis said confidently. Holly nodded and put her helmet back on. She looked as if she was about to leave.
"Do you know if Butler received my letter?" Artemis asked quickly.
"Yeah. He contacted us right as he got yours. Your owl should be arriving soon. I crossed paths with him on the way here," Holly said and lept out of the window. Artemis felt a little relieved that Butler had gotten his letter. He felt safe now.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Butler had called for a meeting with Foaly and Root. His concern had now kept him awake at night. He didn't want to feel helpless anymore. Artemis was quite possibly in the worst place in the world, without him. Butler nervously fidgeted, waiting for them to arrive. The more time he wasted, the more of a chance Artemis would get into an impossible situation.
Root, Foaly, and Holly appeared on the Fowl manor grounds. Butler opened the front door, inviting them in. They seemed hesitant, but understood they were now partners.
"Any current news from boy wonder?" Root grunted. Butler had a deep intake of air.
"No, Commander. This is a request on my part," Butler spoke softly. Root could see this coming from a mile away.
"Yes?" Root asked the giant. Butler was not one to choke up.
"Artemis is in danger," Butler said in a serious tone. Root shrugged.
"We all know you're his body guard, and that he is pretty helpless without you, but we assure you, Holly checks up on him every week. He absolutely safe," Foaly replied. Butler shook his head.
"No, this is something completely different," Butler sounded despairing. Root, Foaly, and Holly were now more interested.
"What?" Root asked, puffing on a fungus cigar. Butler felt stupid, not having mentioned this before . . . But Master Fowl had said not to. . .
"You know Artemis' father is missing . . . Dead, really," Butler paused. "His father was a wizard. If Artemis knew . . . What he did . . . It would break his heart."
The room remained silent in Butler's pauses.
"He entrusted me to know . . . He faked his death at Kola, to live a separate life in the wizard world," Butler's hands began to shake. Foaly looked a little shocked.
"Why didn't you say something before?" Foaly asked. Butler shook his head.
"I figured everything would be fine. Artemis Senior told me he had changed his name, to hide his identity. Said he was sick of a life of crime. Said he wanted magic again. I can't imagine why. He was so rich here," Butler stopped.
"Well, since we know that these people are no threat to the People, we can pull Artemis out of there if you think it would be necessary," Root held the cigar away from his face. Butler shook his head.
"That's just it. He's enjoying the school, just like his father. He says he's good at Potions, just like his father," Butler seemed confused.
"Were you ever planning on telling Artemis the truth?" Holly spoke up in the Fowl Manor, maybe for the first time.
"No. Master Fowl wanted it that way. Not even Angeline knows. Nor Juliet," Butler sighed.
-.-.-.-.-.-
(A/N: F&CKING DAMMIT! The next ten pages were written with an intense hatred for life and this story. My computer just decided to shit out on me and delete what I had worked so FRICKEN hard to accomplish within the last three hours. DAMMIT! So yeah, if the next few pages seem a little rushed, it's because I hate my life. Thank you. &3#4t! I need a smoke. And remember kids, always self-spaid or neuter your pets and always click the save button every ten minutes. I'm a shithead.)
The Christmas spirit filled Hogwarts with a familiar feeling of home. Artemis watched Professor Flitwick attend the Christmas tree in the dining hall. Tiny little ornaments floated and claimed a branch to perch on. Tiny little illuminated the hall in a different way that it was before. And the anticipation for another Hogsmead trip had the students up in a bustle.
Artemis' black loafers crunched the snow below him as he walked through the busy streets Hogsmead. Ron and Hermione had split up to find each other Christmas presents. They had agreed to meet each other at Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer. Artemis was determined to speak with the owner of Honeydukes anyhow. And privacy was key.
He stood a few feet away from the window of Honeydukes, studying the painted letters on it. The yellow color did seem familiar. He had been there before, as a child, with his father and mother. The turning taffy puller with the colorful paintings, Artemis had seen that somewhere. Artemis was sure this place was in the only memory of his father that he had managed to hold onto. Artemis wrapped his bony fingers around the brass handle of the door and violently pulled it open. A tiny bell rang above him, as Artemis strode to the woman at the counter. She starred up at him, as if she had never seen such a dark boy come in a candy store.
"May I speak with the owner?" Artemis asked politely. She pushed a small, wrapped candy to him. He looked at it questioningly.
"Mrs. Honeydukes is in," The woman spoke with a tinge of Scottish accent in her voice. Artemis nodded.
"May I speak with her?" Artemis repeated, hiding his impatient behavior. She pushed her sleak glasses up her nose.
"You're doing so," She starred him down. Artemis flashed a reassuring smile.
"Mrs. Honeydukes, I'm Artemis Fowl the Second. I was wondering if you knew my father, Artemis Fowl the First?" Artemis rested his arm on the counter. Mrs. Honeydukes looked up at the ceiling, searchingly. A few moments tortuous moments flew by, and Artemis began to rap his fingers on his coat.
"Doesn't ring a bell, sorry dear," She looked apologetically.
"Thanks," Artemis was about to spin on his heels and leave quickly, but she seemed like she would speak again.
"But, there is a man who might, assuming you're looking for anyone who might know your father," Mrs. Honeydukes eyed Artemis. Artemis stopped and turned his head to face her.
"Yes," He said, waiting.
"Mr. Ollivander, he sells wands in Daigon Alley. He remembers all of his customers. Unless your father isn't a wizard. I've never heard the name Fowl before," she added. Artemis pressed his lips together.
"That's precisely what I'm trying to find out," He looked down. "Thank you for your help." Artemis started for the door when Honeydukes called to him again with clearing her throat. He turned to look at her. She held up the piece of candy he had ignored.
"Take this with you," She tapped the piece with her index finger. Artemis smiled courteously and held out his hand for her to drop it in. He stuffed it into his pants pocket and left with another "thanks".
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"THIS IS WAR, LEMONY SNICKET!" Rita Skeeter seemed to kick down the door in Lemony's office. Out of habbit, Snicket covered his head as the pieces of door flew into bits. He pulled his spoon out of his soup he had ordered for lunch and held it as a weapon, pointed towards Rita.
"Get away from me, you devil woman!" Lemony knew his editing her artcle would not go unnoticed. He had come prepared. Remember, this all will be over soon. Dumbledore will find where Olaf is and then I'll pack my shit and leave. My god, this woman is scary!
"I'LL END YOU!" were Rita's last words as she lunged at Lemony, forcing him to the floor.
Lemony threw her off and ran for the doorway (since all that remained of the actual door was shards of wood) and sprinted down the hallway of the Daily Prophet offices. Rita did not follow him. Lemony did not think about this until he was down to the first floor (ten floors down) and on the opposite end of the street. He then decided that if she tried anything funny, he'd turn her into a toad, since Lemony could still conjur a little magic.
When he returned to his office, he found the place to be completely charred. Amazingly, his office was the only one that suffered and fire damage. Lemony found the remains of his broken type writer and the ashes of his rough draft of the Ersatz Ekevator. Lemony kicked the dust and immediately went to buy a new type writer and find out if his flat was still intact.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Artemis met Ron and Hermione at Three Broomsticks, and surprisingly, Harry was there as well. Artemis ordered a butterbeer and sat down with them.
"I thought you weren't allowed to come to Hogsmead," Artemis searched for an answer. Harry patted his chest.
"Fred and George gave me a map of all of the secret passages in Hogwarts, one of which leads to Honeydukes. It's called the Marauders Map," Harry smiled proudly. Ron looked gruff.
"Can't believe they didn't give it to me. . .," He muttered. Artemis sipped his butterbeer.
"Could I see that?" Artemis asked. Harry was about to pull out the map reluctantly, when he spotted Professor McGongagall, Professor Flitwick, Hagrid, and the Ministry of Magic's Cornelius Fudge. Ron and Hermione also realized this, and unceremoniously shoved Harry under their table. Luckily, it was just in time. Artemis, Ron, and Hermione did their best to look inconspicuous. McGonagall's green cloak gracefully swayed behind her steps. Hagrid, Flitwick, Fudge, and McGonagall sat closely to Artemis, Ron, Hermione, and a quite startled Harry.
Every word they spoke was clearly heard by the four. None of them looked directly at the teachers or Fudge. There was much speak of the dementors and the troubles at Hogwarts. Fudge did his part for the Ministry by putting their side forward.
"All the same," demurred Fudge, "they are here to protect you all from something much worse... We all know what Black's capable of..."
"Do you know, I still have trouble believing it," said Madam Rosmerta
thoughtfully. "Of all the people to go over to the Dark Side, Sirius Black was the last I'd have thought... I mean, I remember him when he was a boy at Hogwarts. If you'd told me then what he was going to become, I'd have said you'd had too much mead."
"You don't know the half of it, Rosmerta," said Fudge gruffly. "The worst he did isn't widely known."
"The worst?" said Madam Rosmerta, her voice alive with curiosity, "Worse
than murdering all those poor people, you mean?"
"I certainly do," said Fudge. Artemis sipped his butterbeer quietly. This was absolutely intriguing. Artemis was with Rosmerta on this one. What could be worse?
"I can't believe that. What could possibly be worse?"
"Do you remember who his-best friend was?" Fudge asked, leaning forward on the counter, with a look of intensity in his eyes.
"Naturally," said Madam Rosmerta, with a small laugh. "Never saw one
without the other, did you? The number of times I had them in here -- ooh, they used to make me laugh. Quite the double act, Sirius Black and James Potter!"
Harry dropped his tankard with a loud clunk. Ron kicked him. Artemis found Harry's hiding to be ideal, since they had no idea he was around. Artemis brushed his hair back again. It was longer than he felt was ideal.
"Precisely," said Professor McGonagall. "Black and Potter. Ringleaders of their little gang. Both very bright, of course -- exceptionally bright, in fact -- but I don't think we've ever had such a pair of troublemakers --"
"I dunno," chuckled Hagrid. "Fred and George Weasley could give 'em a
run fer their money." Ron hid a grin.
"You'd have thought Black and Potter were brothers!" chimed in Professor
Flitwick. "Inseparable!" Harry shuddered under the table, hoping no one had seen, but Artemis noticed.
"Of course they were," said Fudge. "Potter trusted Black beyond all his other friends. Nothing changed when they left school. Black was best man when James married Lily. Then they named him godfather to Harry. Harry has no idea, of course. You can imagine how the idea would torment him."
"Because Black turned out to be in league with You-Know-Who?" whispered
Madam Rosmerta.
"Worse even than that, rn'dear..." Fudge dropped his voice and proceeded in a sort of low rumble. "Not many people are aware that the Potters knew You-Know-Who was after them. Dumbledore, who was of course working tirelessly against You-Know-Who, had a number of useful spies. One of them tipped him off, and he alerted James and Lily at once. He advised them to go into hiding. Well, of course, You-Know-Who wasn't an easy person to hide from. Dumbledore told them that their best chance was the Fidelius Charm."
"How does that work?" said Madam Rosmerta, breathless with interest.
Professor Flitwick cleared his throat.
"An immensely complex spell," he said squeakily, "involving the magical
concealment of a secret inside a single, living soul. The information is hidden inside the chosen person, or Secret-Keeper, and is henceforth impossible to find -- unless, of course, the Secret-Keeper chooses to divulge it. As long as the Secret-Keeper refused to speak, You-Know-Who could search the village where Lily and James were staying for years and never find them, not even if he had his nose pressed against their sitting room window!" Artemis made a note to remember the name of his charm; Fidelus.
"So Black was the Potters' Secret-Keeper?" whispered Madam Rosmerta.
"Naturally," said Professor McGonagall. "James Potter told Dumbledore that Black would die rather than tell where they were, that Black was planning to go into hiding himself... and yet, Dumbledore remained worried. I remember him offering to be the Potters' Secret-Keeper himself."
"He suspected Black?" gasped Madam Rosmerta.
"He was sure that somebody close to the Potters had been keeping You-Know-Who informed of their movements," said Professor McGonagall darkly. "Indeed, he had suspected for some time that someone on our side had turned traitor and was passing a lot of information to You-Know-Who."
"But James Potter insisted on using Black?"
"He did," said Fudge heavily. "And then, barely a week after the Fidelius Charm had been performed --"
"Black betrayed them?" breathed Madam Rosmerta.
"He did indeed. Black was tired of his double-agent role, he was ready
to declare his support openly for You-Know-Who, and he seems to have planned this for the moment of the Potters' death. But, as we all know, You-Know-Who met his downfall in little Harry Potter. Powers gone, horribly weakened, he fled. And this left Black in a very nasty position indeed. His master had fallen at the very moment when he, Black, had shown his true colors as a traitor. He had no choice but to run for it--"
Artemis found Black to be quite the character. A lifetime of friendship completely destroyed for . . . What did Black gain from Voldemort? Artemis didn't mind using the name. He wasn't afraid of a being he had never contorted with. Black sounded like the darkest type of betrayer. If Potter and Black were such good friends, why was it so easy for Black to betray him? Unless. . . He was forced to. Was Voldemort so powerful that he could control people? Artemis found this situation most strange. But beyond Artemis' concern, he could almost feel Harry's insides twisting inside of him. It must be that telepathy thing, Artemis reasoned.
"Filthy, stinkin' turncoat!" Hagrid said, so loudly that half the bar went quiet. Artemis, Ron, Hermione, and Harry were almost sure this would end the conversation, with all of the ears now directed to them, but it went on.
"Shh!" said Professor McGonagall.
"I met him!" growled Hagrid. "I musta bin the last ter see him before he killed all them people! It was me what rescued Harry from Lily an' James's house after they was killed! Jus' got him outta the ruins, poor little thing, with a great slash across his forehead, an' his parents dead... an' Sirius Black turns up, on that flyin' motorbike he used ter ride. Never occurred ter me what he was doin' there. I didn' know he'd bin Lily an' James's Secret-Keeper. Thought he'd jus' heard the news o' You-Know-Who's attack an' come ter see what he could do. White an'
shakin', he was. An' yeh know what I did? I COMFORTED THE MURDERIN' TRAITOR!" Hagrid roared. Artemis found this to be most sloppy on Sirius' part. Perhaps he had hoped this action would make him less likely to have committed the crime. Only the strange ones returned the scene. It was supposed to bring some sense on danger on their part. Artemis found it to be most foolish. Like an episode of Scooby Doo.
"Hagrid, please!" Professor McGonagall hissed again. "Keep your voice down!"
"How was I ter know he wasn' upset abou' Lily an' James? It was You-Know-Who he cared abou'! An' then he says, 'Give Harry ter me, Hagrid, I'm his godfather, I'll look after him --' Ha! But I'd had me orders from Dumbledore, an' I told Black no, Dumbledore said Harry was ter go ter his aunt an' uncle's. Black argued, but in the end he gave in. Told me ter take his motorbike ter get Harry there. 'I won't need it anymore,' he says," Hagrid looked as though he were about to cry. His voice trembled with more details.
"I shoulda known there was somethin' fishy goin' on then. He loved that
motorbike, what was he givin' it ter me for? Why wouldn' he need it anymore? Fact was, it was too easy ter trace. Dumbledore knew he'd bin the Potters' Secret-Keeper. Black knew he was goin' ter have ter run fer it that night, knew it was a matter o' hours before the Ministry was after him.
"But what if I'd given Harry to him, eh? I bet he'd 've pitched him off the bike halfway out ter sea. His bes' friends' son! But when a wizard goes over ter the Dark Side, there's nothin' and no one that matters to em anymore..."
There was a dreadful, long silence after Hagrid's side of the story, the kind of silence that is polite when speaking of hard matters. Artemis had heard enough by now, but the group continued to talk about Peter Pettigrew's courage in standing up to Sirius Black. Artemis could feel that there was more to the story. He assumed that Voldemort had forced Black to tell him about the Potter's. There were still too many missing elements of the story. Artemis found that there were four boys as friends now; Black, Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew. Padfoot, Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail. . . Artemis shook his head, wondering where THAT had come from. These words continued to haunt Artemis, ever since he had been in Dark Arts, when Lupin's fear of the moon had popped into his head. . . Moony. Artemis' mind was at work before he was even aware. Everyone else was listening to McGonagall and Fudge talking.
Was it at all possible that maybe Lupin is Moony? McGonagall did mention that Potter and Black, James and Sirius, had been . . . Ring leaders, as she put it.
"I dunno. Fred and George could give them a run fer their money," Hagrid had said. Artemis checked under the table to see if Harry was still waiting, and he obviously was. Fred and George were the ones that had given Harry the map with those names . . . Padfoot, Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail. If the other three are Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail, could that mean that Black knows the secret passages? Is this how he entered Hogwarts on Halloween? Artemis rubbed his temples. Artemis focused on the conversation again. Ron and Hermione had remained quiet the whole time. Harry was still struggling through his shudders. Artemis didn't doubt that this was horrific news for him.
"Is it true he's mad, Minister?" Rosmerta asked with a sigh.
"I wish I could say that he was," said Fudge slowly. "I certainly believe his master's defeat unhinged him for a while. The murder of Pettigrew and all those Muggles was the action of a cornered and desperate man -- cruel... pointless. Yet I met Black on my last inspection of Azkaban. You know, most of the prisoners in there sit muttering to themselves in the dark; there's no sense in them... but I
was shocked at how normal Black seemed. He spoke quite rationally to me. It was unnerving. You'd have thought he was merely bored -- asked if I'd finished with my newspaper, cool as you please, said he missed doing the crossword. Yes, I was astounded at how little effect the dementors seemed to be having on him -- and he was one of the most heavily guarded in the place, you know. Dementors outside his door day and night."
Artemis found this fact also quite strange to the whole situation. Dementors, he had felt, were the most horrifying of creatures he had come into contact with in this world, in his world. The pain was more on a mental basis, but equally as dreadful. Could it be that Black had no more happiness to offer the dementors? That certainly would seem possible. But if that's the case, why did the other prisoners react with insanity and loss of mind?
"But what do you think he's broken out to do?" said Madam Rosmerta.
"Good gracious, Minister, he isn't trying to rejoin You-Know-Who, is he?"
"I daresay that is his -- er -- eventual plan," said Fudge evasively. "But we hope to catch Black long before that. I must say, You-Know-Who alone and friendless is one thing... but give him back his most devoted servant, and I shudder to think how quickly he'll rise again..."
There was a small chink of glass on wood. Someone had set down their
glass. Harry was sure this had to be the last of the conversation, even though his back pain was the least of his concerns, it was becoming very uncomfortable. Artemis had learned what he could, and was now piecing the elements together.
"You know, Cornelius, if you're dining with the headmaster, he'd better head back up to the castle," said Professor McGonagall. Several chairs scratched the floor under them as they moved. The group quickly left after they paid Rosmerta. Once they were out of sight, Ron, Hermione, and Artemis poked their heads under the table, to look into a horrified, ghostly face. Harry had started shaking a little. All of this was quite a bit more than was desired to know.
-.-.-.-.-.-
The holidays brought a healthy amount of snow on the Hogwarts grounds. Artemis preferred a light snow that drifted quietly and softly to earth. The kind that would crunch under your feet. But this beautiful sight was only beheld a short time, when Artemis finally decided it was in his best interest to go home and make a trip to Daigon Alley with Butler, to speak with Mr. Ollivander. Artemis left Multice with the school, along with his Christmas gifts for Hermione, Ron, and Harry. He had considered leaving something horrible for Draco, but he reasoned it was better not to draw too much attention to himself. Maybe he would yet. . .
Artemis' train ride back to Platform ¾ was boring, so he pulled out a small MP3 player to listen to his Scary Monsters album on the ride back, wondering what kind of greeting would be appropriate for Butler. He'd surely be at the station waiting for him. Several months with little to do was most likely a very uneventful time.
Artemis stepped off the train, just as Draco did one car down. The boys looked at each other for less than a moment, when Draco decided to stride over to him.
"Interesting you didn't stay with baby Potter, and protect him from the scary dementors," Draco joked, but not in a manner than was hurtful to Artemis. Draco often spoke harshly of Potter when the two of them were alone.
"I figured he fought off Voldemort three times, so a dementor shouldn't be too much of a problem," Artemis grinned. Draco grimaced.
"Whatever. So, are you going to see your family for break?" Draco unnaturally changed the subject. Artemis ignored it.
"Yes. Why? Aren't you?" Artemis asked semi-curiously.
"Well, yes, but I'll be spending a lot of that time in Daigon Alley," Draco tugged on his tie, which had already been loosened.
Shit.
Draco seemed to be disgusted.
Did you just say shit? Draco's voice intruded in Artemis' mind. Artemis clentched his teeth. He must have been thinking too loudly. Artemis almost laughed.
"Sorry, sometimes I think too hard," Artemis nearly blushed. Draco pressed his lips together, hiding a smirk.
"Why do you detest me? We're both Slytherins! We should be working together for the greater evil," Draco seemed rather haughty all of a sudden. Artemis felt rather exclusive now.
"I don't share your views, I guess is what it comes down to," Artemis picked his suit case up from the ground. Draco crossed his arms.
"It's more than that, and I know," Draco began, "You don't think I could be your equal."
Artemis knew Malfoy wasn't an idiot, but he also was not a genius. Artemis gripped the handle harder.
"Honestly, Malfoy, what have you done that you think I would deem worthy of a partnership?" Artemis asked inquisitively. The Hogwarts express pushed off with a great heave and a whistle. Draco smirked in a way that was trying to imitate Artemis' vampire-like smile. It wasn't nearly as clean.
"I've blackmailed you," Draco raised his chin.
"Oh have you? I supose you think the fact that I follow my father's footsteps is a real shock? Or that I discovered the People, and that someone would want to explot them? I don't care about them! They were puppets! I used them!" Artemis was about to chuckle, when Draco kept grinning. Artemis was wondering what Draco could possibly know about him that would be damaging.
"Well, I'm sure someone would be very expelled if the Ministry of Magic was to know about the fact that he was using a magic enhancer drug. You're not a wizard! You're a fake! A squib! A bloody Muggle!" Draco was grinning like a loon. Artemis figured Draco could've easily searched his belonging and found the solution. Artemis had a certain amount of bitterness clouding his eyes.
"I must be a squib. There's not other explanation for why I was put into the Slytherin house if my parents are wizards," Artemis repeated. Draco nodded.
"Exactly. In fact, I'm very willing to help you find out. I seem to have a much better understanding of the magical world-"
"I don't need your help! I'd rather do this on my own!" Artemis stormed off with his bags. Draco followed him through the transparent wall. Butler seemed a little shocked by the fact that two very similar looking boys emerged from.
"Hello Butler," Artemis said stiffly, trying to get Draco to take off, now that he finally was in the company of Butler. Draco looked up at the big man.
"Who is that?" Draco asked rudely. Butler starred him down.
"This is my bodyguard, Butler. Now if you would please leave us, we have important ventures to attend to," Artemis turned from Malfoy, but this didn't stop Malfoy from ending the conversation.
"Important like cheating people out of gold," Draco mocked and walked off toward someone who looked much like his father. Artemis looked behind him at the man who was dressed incredibly well and had long, blonde hair. The man seemed familiar, and Artemis got a strange chill when the man looked him in the eyes. Artemis quickly turned, finally feeling quite normal, or . . . As normal as you could feel carrying a wooden wand and a head full of ideas.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Sirius Black hadn't needed to search long to find Mulch Diggums, public enemy to the Underground. Black was inexperienced with the Underground (just as the Underground was inexperienced with him) but hiring a master thief couldn't have been too much more different in both worlds. Mulch was a short creature, standing as tall as Sirius' thigh. He looked rather grumpy, and was busy chewing something. Sirius knelt down at the sight of him.
"Sirius Black?" Mulch grunted. Sirius didn't put away his stern demeanor.
"Yes. I'm surprised you came. Then again, this job should be easy for you, and the pay is a lot more than I should be offering you," Sirius starred Mulch down. In a way, Mulch was a tad bit intimidated, not by the fact that he couldn't fight off Sirius, but because he had been to hell, and somehow managed to escape. Mulch almost saw him as a hero. Almost.
"I like how you chose to pay me the amount you could buy that stupid broom for," Mulch stated. Sirius nodded.
"You understand my circumstance though," Sirius muttered. Mulch grunted again. "And you remember my instructions?"
"Yeah. For 300 galleons, how could I forget?" Mulch smirked. Sirius was starting to enjoy the kleptomaniac's company.
"I can't tell you how grateful I am that you'll wait for the money. I have to reach my family's manor before I can get the money. Once this is all over though, I'll send it to you immediately," Sirius sounded sincere. Mulch figured that even if Sirius didn't send him the money, this job was extremely low risk, not worth anything in his eyes. Mulch nodded and went off to Florish and Blotts.
-.-.-.-.-
Mulch chewed his way through the floor of the darkened shop, seeing the warm interior. The window of the store reminded him of something from a mudman movie. The smell of pine hit his nose like a book. His goal was not hard to find, because it laid in plain view, on a pedestal.
The store, like all wizardry stores, had hexes up the arse to stop thieves from taking things. But for some reason, dwarves from the Underground could easily get past these hexes, since dwarves above ground were very different in size and complex.
Mulch snatched the bloody broom and bolted back into the hole he chewed through in the floor. As easy as this seemed, this wasn't the only part of the deal that Mulch had to comply to. He had to wrap it (what was the point?) and send it by owl for Christmas. It was to go to a boy named Harry Potter, the same boy was spying on for Parseltongue. This boy must've been something special in the under world. Sirius had strained to tell him that the broom was not to show any signs of who had taken it. Mulch found this to be easy, but he often wondered why Harry Potter was such a target of interest. He never wondered too much. He liked the money.