A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover and the Prisoner of the Arctic Incident

By Spectra16 (Who is completely spastic at the fact that she finished this scar tissue-free)

A/N: This is the epilogue. Like I said before, there will be another bonus chapter after this, with nonsense and all of that. This is actually a sneak peak at the next story, which I WILL be writing. I'm going to continue to add that story on this one, but I also will be starting a completely different story for that, starting from the next book. Do any of you understand what I'm saying? Even I'm getting lost. Oh well, it'll make more sense later.

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter, or Lemony Snicket. Booyah. If I did, I'd probably publish this story. True story.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Epilogue

Artemis was busily typing on his laptop, writing his report that Foaly had requested. It was well on 30,000 words by now. Artemis took a sip of lemonade on such a hot day. Artemis massaged his temples, getting rather tired of this. A bleep from Artemis' intercom in his room startled him awake in his thoughts. Artemis pressed down.

"Yes Butler?" Artemis asked tiredly.

"I've apprehended a man, snooping around the grounds," Butler said, quite frighteningly. Artemis winced.

"Have you asked his name?" Artemis asked sardonically. "Perhaps he's of use." Butler paused.

"He says his name is Sirius Black," Butler spoke loudly. Artemis' heart stopped.

"Invite him inside. I wish to speak with him," Artemis had a sudden burst of energy, and ran to the mirror, to see if he looked presentable. His hair was flat, which was good. Artemis ran to the intercom again.

"Butler, give him something to drink," Artemis spoke quickly. Artemis quickly practiced what way to present himself. Such nervous tension was never expected from Artemis, especially when it was his father he was wanting to see.

-.-.-.-.-

Wormtail stood in Voldemort's presence, shaking like mad. He rubbed his hands together, nearly pulling them apart. Bill stood next to Mulch, starring at Voldemort's small, fetus like body. Mulch grimaced at the snake that was sliding about on the floor.

"He's too young," Mulch spoke up, trying to stop Voldemort from wanting this. Voldemort shook his head.

"NO! We must have him. He's a strong wizard, even at age 14. A prodigy, indeed," Voldemort wheezed.

"But he is involved with the Underground. Any strange behavior from him would surely gain immediate attention from LEP," Mulch spoke out. Wormtail starred at Mulch, quite shocked by his attitude. Voldemort titled his head.

"Are you protecting this boy? Don't you realize what a great Death Eater he could become?" Voldemort asked sardonically. Mulch shuddered.

"He's just a boy," Mulch spoke softly. "He's only interesting in gold."

"Then gold we will give him," Voldemort sneered with a smile.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Harry and Artemis looked up at the sky, a green gaze took the shape of a skull with a snake coming out of the mouth, wrapping around like a twisted coil. Harry winced at the pain of his scar, and Artemis felt like he was fading in and out of reality. He watched the Dark Mark form in the sky, and suddenly, his surroundings changed several times. First, he felt the brisk, cold air of Moscow, and saw the palace towers. He flashed from that to a hot desert and then from there, to a busy city, with taxis all about. His body faded in and out of several crowded locations, and one not so crowded place. A faded, dusty house. There stood two men, starring at him and . . . A dwarf that looked stunningly like Mulch. He flashed from there back to the panicked camping grounds where they had been staying. Fire engulfed the area, setting tents on fire. Artemis gasped for air, wondering what that had been all about.

Harry was kneeling on the ground, holding his forehead, and looking past Artemis. Artemis turned around to see a man standing there, with his wand pointed at the Dark Mark. Surely, he had been the one who conjured it. He lowered his wand and looked into Artemis' eyes. He had been one of the men that he had seen in that vision. He remembered the face of the other man . . . Peter.

"STOP!" Harry shouted, but the man ran off. Artemis starred, dazed by what had just happened.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Lemony leaned on his cane, looking at the charred camping grounds. This was the work of Olaf's buddies, definitely. Death Eaters had been spotted setting the place on fire and causing havok the night before. Thin whisps of smoke rose up from the wreckage, and Lemony shook his head. Cornelius Fudge spoke up.

"I expect the Daily Prophet will be making a great deal out of this," Fudge assumed. Lemony nodded.

"This must connect in some way," Lemony whispered to himself.

"Pardon?" Fudge asked. Lemony shook his hand.

"Nevermind. Were there any witnesses to the Dark Mark?" Lemony asked. Fudge sighed.

"Two Hogwarts students. Harry Potter and Artemis Fowl," Fudge replied. Lemony pressed his lips together.

"I expected so."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Harry, be careful. Whoever entered your name in the cup must want you dead. Tread with extreme caution," Sirius' face spoke in the embers of the fire. Harry nodded hastily. Sirius' panicked.

"I have to go! Someone's coming," Sirius hastily disappeared. Ron scrunched his eyebrows.

"I wonder where he could be communicating from," Ron whispered, also hearing Neville coming down the stairs to the common room.

Sirius pulled himself from the ash ridden fireplace. He guiltily looked into the face of Angeline Fowl.

"Tem? What are you doing?" She playfully asked. Sirius smiled halfheartedly. Surely, Angeline's temporary insanity was coming in handy to evade her questions.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: I'd like to personally thank all of my reviewers now! I love you all!

dollarbanks: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed this story!

green-loveheart: Wow. What a hefty review! Thanks! I'm especially proud of my story. Not to sound too gaudy though.

angelfaerie: Ha. I never would've noticed I spelled "convenient" wrong if you hadn't have told me. Thank you! I'm glad these are you favorite stories in one! They're my favorites too!

skittish: I'm so glad you think this is good!

butterflywing: I'm glad you think this is good too! I think it could use some work, but for the most part, I agree.

jenn120: Interesting? You think so? Well. . . thanks.

TBC: Love your review.

Acrolyte: Artemis' telepathy and strange powers are explained in the next story. It won't come as a surprise, but it sure is cool. I like the fact that the fairy steriods are something that Artemis can over use and not use at all. It makes him more human.

Weirdo Gal: This crossover is going to make even MORE sense in the next story! Woot!

Saico: I totally agree. This fic does have some bumps. The biggest one is the Artemis/Malfoy thing though. Luckily. But this will be more understandable later. Be patient. Don't panic. Always bring a towel.

Harbringer Lady: Thank you! Tell me the names of the other crossovers that are good. I've been scouting them out recently. I've found a few that I liked, but nothing totally phenomonal. Serious crossovers are hard.

And everyone else that I missed, thank you!