He was too young for a heart attack, of that Andrew Gillette was sure. But fact was that at this moment he felt worse off than the sailor that had just run into the barracks yelling "James Norrington just came out of Lord Becketts office. He's alive!"
The young man was completely out of breath, his hair dishevelled and his face flushed as his gaze swept over the room of men that had momentarily been stunned into silence.
No one seemed to dare to move a muscle for a few seconds. The next movement then that could be seen was that of Theodore Groves' head slowly turning to look in Andrew's direction uncertainly.
Of course, silence could never be held for too long, especially not at such news and soon the room erupted in excited talk which was completely lost on Gillette, though.
As flushed as the young sailor had been upon his arrival, as pale the Lieutenant was now, standing amongst his comrades who were causing one hell of a din, his gaze fixed on an invisible spot on the far wall.
Andrew could only rouse himself from his shocked stupor upon feeling a hand rest on his shoulder gently. He slowly turned his head to face Theodore, his expression riddled with doubt.
"Come, let's go to another room." Groves said, as he steered Andrew towards the door, as the other man seemed to be incapable of moving of his own consent at the moment.
Only once the door of the adjacent room they had moved to was safely closed against any prying ears did Gillette dare to speak again, his tone of voice low and uncertain, still sounding as defeated as he had for months now, ever since they, meaning him and Theodore, had lost hope of finding James alive. And that was them being the last two people to lose this hope as even Governor Swann had thought it impossible by then.
James Norrington had been dead to most of Port Royal for months and it seemed that no one had missed him greatly. He was dispensable to the Royalty of England, to the Navy, and to the people he had once protected with so much fervour.
But what hardly anyone knew was that James had not only been a most devoted Commodore, but had also placed as much devotion into his friendships and love.
In fact, only two people knew about these traits of his, three if Elizabeth had ever taken the time to spare him a deeper meaningful thought.
As this did not seem the case though, it had left only Andrew and Theodore as two people to know the former Commodore best.
Theodore considered James a very good friend, one who he would trust with anything, even his life. James had been first man at his wedding which had interestingly enough probably triggered James' idea that he was in need of a fine wife, along with his promotion even if only to maintain a proper façade for the outside world to see.
To Andrew on the other hand, James had been so much more than a friend. He had been his lover for some time, but even before that he had been his idol and his life line, a rare constant in his life he spent at the mercy of the unpredictable ocean a lot of the time.
That fateful day when the hurricane and every sailor's harsh mistress had bereft him of this constant was the day he felt as if he were falling into a deep and endless abyss. His hope had soon after fled before the crushing darkness.
Andrew had changed so much since then. He was now resigned and quiet, his once so fiery nature not even a shadow anymore.
Everyone had noticed the Lieutenant's change, but most people blamed it on the strain of having to replace Commodore Norrington's active position, Gillette having been second in command before and also seeing as Lord Beckett seemed to prefer leadership from behind his desk.
But those closest to Andrew knew that the light in his heart had gone out the day his last hope of ever seeing his lover alive again faded.
But life loves being the ocean's brother, loves being just as unpredictable and equally as capable of tossing a person from happiness to sadness and desperation, from resignation to hope and to despair, ever violently fickle.
Hope dies last, though and is capable of coming back to turn the tables once more, to set everything right or to tease cruelly.
"Do you think it is true?" Andrew asked his friend, hardly trusting his wavering voice.
Theodore sighed. "I wish it was… It has to be, doesn't it?"
Andrew chuckled. "Oh, Theodore. I wish I could have your confidence and hope." He said, shaking his head.
Groves raised an eyebrow. "Honestly, Andrew. I understand that it is difficult to match my confidence, seeing as how most people claim it to be more present than my brain." He rolled his eyes at that. "But you are capable of my hope. You used to be, at least, do you remember?"
Gillette turned weary eyes on his comrade, yet eyes that had after all not entirely forgotten to display the glimmer of hope.
He took a deep steadying breath. "You really think it could be James, that he is still alive."
Theodore nodded. "The sailor, Carter, he had an errand to run at Beckett's residence. If he saw James coming out of the office he must have got a fairly good look at him."
Andrew nodded, yet averted his eyes to the floor. He then rested his face in his hands.
"What if it is not him." He mumbled. "What if Carter mistook someone else for James. I couldn't bear it, Theodore, I couldn't." Andrew said with desperation in his voice.
Theodore laid a comforting hand on Andrew's shoulder. "I know." He said compassionately. "But each choice is a chance and a risk." He reasoned. "Of course there is the risk of being disappointed beyond belief, but there is also a chance for you to find James, to restore your happiness. And believe me; I would appreciate nothing more than to see the Andrew I knew back in his place."
Gillette drew a calming breath and turned nearly moist eyes on his friend. "You're right, my friend. It seems that your confidence has left some room for rational thought, after all." He joked dryly with a small smirk, almost reminiscent of the snark and whiplash tongue he used to possess.
Smiling, Groves asked "Does that mean you will go to seek him out?"
Gillette nodded in resolve. "I will. Wish me luck, Theodore." And he made his way to the door whispering a silent plea before leaving. "Please be there to catch me afterwards."
Andrew made his way to Lord Beckett's office determination and the urge to turn right back warring inside his mind. But he just had to find out if James had really been there.
He soon found himself knocking on the Lord's door, though and from then on there was no turning back, no chance left to run.
"Enter." He heard Beckett's voice from inside and he pushed open the door with apprehension as the other wigged man came into view.
"Ah, Lieutenant Gillette." Lord Beckett greeted him with false joy. "What can I do for you this fine evening?"
"I have a question My Lord" Gillette answered, trying to keep his voice even.
"And what might that be?" Becket was no longer even looking at Andrew, but had already taken to studying the map lying on his desk once more.
Andrew took a silent calming breath before continuing, his heart seeming to want to leap out of his throat it was beating so fast and he briefly wondered if Beckett could hear it or sense his nervousness.
"Well, there is talk that the former Commodore James Norrington was here to see you earlier. Is it true?"
There. He'd asked and the ensuing seconds of silence between his question and the answer to it felt like an eternity to Andrew.
Beckett looked up from his work at last and stretched his neck slightly as if to relieve some cramped muscles.
"Yes, that's true." The Lord answered at length.
Andrew thought he might have that heart attack after all, but quickly decided to ignore the myriad of emotions that were coursing through him to get more information.
"Where is he?" the Lieutenant asked, resisting the urge to just run from the room in search of his lover.
"Oh, I sent him home to get cleaned up." Beckett told him dismissively. "Was that all?"
"Yes… yes, thank you. That was all." Gillette said in a rush before managing to maintain a dignified manner just long enough to leave Lord Beckett's house.
Home. He'd sent James home. Andrew assumed that by home Lord Beckett had meant James' house which had been left empty and abandoned for months. The servants had long since left as well.
The Lieutenant all but ran to the former Commodore's residence and halted just in front of the door, banging his fists against the door more frantically than maybe necessary, but he was a desperate man and so he may be forgiven.
"James, are you there?" Andrew yelled, every fibre of his being hoping for an answer from inside.
When none came he felt a stab in his heart and proceeded to assault the door again in a frenzy.
A sudden bang from inside the house stopped the Lieutenant in his tracks and he listened intently to the sounds coming from inside.
"Impossible… two sodding minutes of peace in this damn place…" came an enraged voice from the hallway that lay behind the entrance some time before the front door was flung open to reveal a dishevelled and wild looking James Norrington.
Andrew stared at the man and James stared back. "Andrew…" he whispered.
Hearing this familiar voice speak his name undid Andrew completely. Flinging himself at James he pushed the other man through the door which he kicked closed with his foot before pressing his lover against the wall in a frantic kiss.
The two men kissed like two starved ones close to dying, they kissed until they both had to come up for breath, panting harshly in the attempt to fill their lungs with air once more.
A silence ensued, despite both navy officers being able to speak again, but at long last Andrew broke the silence, his voice quivering with emotion and a fire returning to his eyes that hadn't been there for a long time.
"Where have you been, James?" he asked in a dangerously low voice, clenching his fists at his sides in anger which had only just now appeared, following the initial relief he had felt.
His lover didn't answer, but looked away, his eyes burning with shame, but Andrew couldn't see that and so he raged on.
"We thought you were dead. Hell, I thought you were dead, James! We went out looking for you and couldn't find you."
Andrew grabbed James by the collar of his tattered and torn uniform and forced him to look into his eyes. "I thought you were dead, James. I thought I'd lost you forever. Why didn't you come back?" the Lieutenant asked, his eyes welling up which he desperately tried to stop.
"I'm sorry." James said, barely audible. "God, I'm so sorry Andrew." He felt half numb with guilt and shame, half numb with exhaustion and relief, yet his body seemed to function of its own accord in this situation, his arm moving, and his hand touching Andrew's cheek gently to wipe a stray tear away that had escaped.
"Where were you, Jame?." His young lover asked brokenly. "You're alive. Why didn't you come back? To me?"
James looked away ashamed once more. "I'm sorry, Andrew. I couldn't come back. Not then."
"Why?" the young officer asked desperately.
James chuckled mirthlessly and looked himself over in the stained mirror on the wall. "What, like this?" he shook his head.
"No, I couldn't. I thought I'd lost everything." James turned burning green eyes on Andrew, looking at him properly for the first time that evening. "I thought I'd lost you to the sea and the thought paralysed me. I believed I had nothing to come back to." He whispered in an almost choked voice, before slumping to lean against the wall and closing his eyes against his emotions.
James only opened his eyes again as he felt soft lips press against his own and the warmth of another person momentarily driving away the chill that had been residing in his body for far too long.
"Oh, James." Andrew breathed through the kiss. "You will always have me to come back to from now on. You always had."
Wrapping his arms around his lover, James kissed him deeply and it felt like an incredible weight had lifted off his body, leaving him relieved, but exhausted and he noticed that some time during the kiss his body had begun to tremble slightly.
Andrew had seemingly noticed too, because he broke the kiss way too early for James' liking and looked his lover over.
"Oh, James." He said in a sympathetic and almost pained voice. "You're a mess. What happened to you?"
"In a nutshell." The former Commodore began to explain while Andrew helped him up the stairs to his bedroom "I got shipwrecked and ended up in Tortuga where I stayed and drowned my sorrows until Jack Sparrow came along looking for new crew members. I sailed with him to find Davy Jones' still-beating heart which I took and brought it to Beckett who has agreed to give me back my position."
Andrew stared at his lover confusedly with wide eyes, making James laugh lightly, the first honest laugh he had issued in what felt like an eternity.
"I'll explain more detailed in the morning." He promised.
Andrew nodded. "Yes, of course. You really should rest. You look exhausted." He said, pushing James towards the bed and making him sit down.
The Lieutenant was about to leave to have someone bring some hot water for a bath and some fresh clothes when James grabbed his wrist and pulled him back, effectively landing him in the former Commodore's lap.
Andrew began to say something, but James' lips pressing against his fervently effectively silenced him.
Their kiss became more frantic and needy with every passing second, tongues entwining and performing a battle dance.
"I missed you so much." James panted after they had broken apart once more gasping for air.
"I know, I missed you too." Andrew whispered, against his lover's ear. "Don't ever leave me again."
James turned the young Lieutenant's face so that their eyes locked. "Never again will I leave you, Andrew Gillette." James said in all honesty, his eyes holding an eternal promise.
Their lips met again, more gently this time and James removed Andrew's wig to reveal long unruly red hair through which he stroked with his fingers, savouring the silky feel while the other man sighed contentedly.
Shifting his body slightly James laid Andrew down on the bed gently and kissed him passionately once more, his hands roaming over the other man's body greedily.
"James, what are you..." Andrew tried to ask, as his lover began to undress him, but James placed his fingers against his lips as a sign for silence.
"Shh." He cooed. "I need you tonight, Andrew. I need you so badly." He whispered, his weary green eyes meeting his lover's who nodded and relaxed, letting James take over the lead.
James slowly leant over Andrew's body and assaulted the other man's lips with impossible need and passion, hands already working on the myriad buttons of the naval uniform.
Not wanting to only lie there and do nothing, Andrew also started to work on James' clothing, unbuttoning and sliding off.
Both men were soon completely unclothed and were exploring each others' bodies to full extent with hands and mouth.
"You're beautiful." James breathed, nibbling at Andrew's ear lobe, making the smaller man shiver. "So beautiful."
Andrew moaned as James began to lick a path down his neck, blowing at the wet trail he left there. The action made Andrew's cock jump to attention immediately and he pulled James down for closer contact.
The former Commodore was already hard, his erection pressing between Andrew's thighs and throbbing with need for release. But James knew that he had to savour this night as he had never done before, so he moved back to Andrew's mouth and kissed him gently, his hands stroking the man's sides.
"Do you still love me, Andrew?" James asked, halfway through another heated kiss.
The addressed man's previously closed eyes snapped open immediately. "Of course I still love you, James. I'll love you always."
That was all James needed to hear to let go of all guard and control. He began his exploration of Andrew's body by kissing along his jaw line and down his throat, stopping at the pulse point to suck on the skin there gently, but leaving a mark nonetheless. He then proceeded downward to his lover's chest, assaulting the nipples with a skilful hot tongue which made Andrew moan and writhe, pressing his erection against James' and rubbing them both together causing a wonderful friction that made James nip at a hard nub lightly.
The Lieutenant moaned in protest as James left his nipples to reposition himself, but all thought soon fled from his red-haired head as his lover moved down and spread his legs wider to lightly lick at the tip of Andrew's leaking cock.
Andrew arched off the bed with a strangled moan, threading his fingers through James' unruly dark hair, pulling his head down as an invitation to continue his ministrations.
James then drew Andrew's erection into his mouth completely, applying a little pressure and just the right amount of suction as he moved up and down the pulsing shaft, his hands fondling his lover's balls in a teasing manner.
The Lieutenant's breath by now came in ragged gasps between moans and unintelligible words of encouragement and it wasn't long before he shot his load down James' throat with a cry of pleasure as James swallowed every drop of the pearly fluid like a man about to die of thirst.
Panting, Andrew slumped back onto the mattress, as he came down from his temporary high, his hands stroking through James' hair, his mouth mumbling the other man's name over and over again.
James crawled up to his lover once more and kissed him long and hard, letting the other man taste himself for a while, before he nudged his own hard and leaking member against Andrew's thigh.
"Are you ready for more, Andrew?" James asked quietly as he gently brushed back a lock of red hair from his lover's face.
"Yes, I am." Andrew breathed and watched as James smiled and coated his cock with his own pre cum for lubrication. He then motioned for the Lieutenant to turn around to lie on his stomach as he straddled the smaller man and slowly guided the tip of his member to Andrew' puckered entrance.
The red-haired man let out a long moan as he felt the tip of James' cock slowly and carefully push inside him, bit by bit, James being mindful not to hurt his lover.
But Andrew couldn't wait to be taken completely, to be one with his beloved again.
"Oh, James, please. Faster." He urged, pushing back against the penetrating organ.
James' cock twitched at those words and he pushed in further until he had sheathed himself completely in his lover's body, starting a slow and steady rhythm and hitting Andrew's sweet spot with each sharp thrust.
Andrew arched into each movement, strangled moans coming from his throat as James began to stroke his lover's member which was now hard once more.
James' thrusting became more and more heated and frantic as he felt himself near the edge and when Andrew came once more, his cum spurting over the former Commodore's hand and his muscles clenching around the man's cock, James had to let go, filling his lover with his fluid for a long and intense moment.
Both men collapsed onto the bed panting and flushed from the act, but clutched in each other's embrace.
"I love you." James mumbled into Andrew's ear, already half asleep, exhaustion finally taking over.
Andrew kissed James' forehead gently. "I love you too." He whispered. "Sleep now." He commanded, pulling the covers up over his lover's body.
"Stay with me tonight." James pleaded relishing the warmth and comfort of being back where he belonged.
Andrew consented gladly. "Of course." He said, slipping under the covers as well and curling up next to his lover.