Holy shize. I swear to fish there is a god out there, and I also swear that she fucking hates me – and yes it must be a she because only a woman would be mad enough to dream up such a horrific punishment. But what's wrong in the first place I hear you ask? (And if you are reading this then bugger off because this is supposed to be a secret!) Well let me explain, if I can remember… but then again even alcohol and window cleaner won't get this out of my memory.
I came home from prison today and found Ryou already there, his face red and expression spacey as Mars. Then I looked closer and realised that he was blushing and his eyes were so glazed over that they were making me hungry for doughnuts. And that was when I saw the bite-mark on his neck: okay, my turn to be asking him some questions, for example 'so have you finally fucked your pretty little boyrfriend yet'. To my surprise he just looked away from me, his face going redder than the pavement after Marik and I have been playing 'blow-up-roadkill'/'lets-make-some-roadkill' etc.
But this is so seriosuly un-nifty! He's fucking Otogi damnit, and I don't just think that: I know it; I got it out of him after about ten minutes of questioning. But seriosuly Otogi, why him? Well I guess it could be worse – he could be screwing Friendshipus Freakus, but thankfully even he has more of a brain than that. But not enough brain to not screw Otogi. What the hell does he see in that guy?
Not that I'm jealous or anything. Huh, why would I be jealous of anything? Or anyone? I mean I'm me, Bakura-the-supremely-evil-eater-of-french-fries-and-murderer-of-fluffy-little-animals! Why would I be jealous of him?
… Okay fine, I'm jealous. Can I kill him now? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?