I Promise You
Time To Go II ( 4? )
Disclaimer: I know they're not mine. I'm old and tired so, PTB, please don't slap me around for playing with your toys.
I'm grateful to be left sitting alone in near darkness. Sitting quietly looking out through the window, the soft rumble of thunder and sudden flash of lightning in the distance are the only things, comforting to me in a way, disturbing my peace for the longest time before anyone dares come into the room.
A shadow drifting in, creeping across the floor, set off by soft light filtering in from the hallway beyond, catches my attention setting me on edge, on guard, until I glance up to see the smiling face of Sara's nurse greeting me as she rounds the foot of the bed.
" Most of them love to be wrapped up nice and tight... " Leaning in, whispering softly she wraps the end of the blanket, tucking it in, around the feet of the sleeping infant snuggled in my arms only to have one tiny foot force its way free almost the instant she's done with the job. " ... but then again, some of them don't. "
I look up watching her, a sad smile drifting over my face, as she picks up a tiny formula bottle from the nightstand making note of how much is gone - all of it - in the chart with an approving grin on her face. " Well, her father never slept under the covers either. I remember when we were kids, sharing a room, it could be freezing cold and he'd still kick off all the blankets as he slept."
She stops in her tracks, staring down at me, confusion in her eyes, easy to see even in the faint light, forcing me to explain as best I can. " Sorry... I should have said something. This is my brother's little girl, not mine. He wanted to ... well, he just couldn't be here. "
A sad smile and understanding nod as she speaks tells me she accepts what I've said without question or hesitation. " You're a good brother to be here for him. It must be a tremendous relief for him to know you are here for his wife and baby."
She steps away, turning her attention to the task of changing the near empty IV hanging behind Sara's bed. " We had another military baby born here earlier in the week... It breaks my heart to think of these young men living in constant danger so far from home as their precious babies come into the world."
The twisting sensation, tension in the pit of my stomach, something I'd been fighting since the instant we arrived at the hospital, wondering how I'd explain Michael's absence if anyone should ask, is wiped away in an instant with this kind woman's reasonable assumption.
She reaches down smiling at me, wiggling one of the tiny little toes poking its way free from the pink blanket. " She's a beautiful little girl. Her daddy has something really wonderful to come home to now and I'll keep his safe return in my prayers."
As she turns to leave us I reach out, taking gentle hold of her arm and nodding to the woman sleeping quietly in the bed next to me. " She's going to be okay, right? "
A flash of lightning, nearer now, lights up the room allowing me to see kindness in the woman's eyes as she speaks. " Laboring as long as she did, then having a ' C' anyway, took a lot out of her but she'll be just fine. Her doctor gave her something for pain, something to help her sleep, she needs the rest, but I'm sure she'll be up and eager to hold her little girl before the sun comes up tomorrow morning. "
The approaching storm drawing her eyes away, grabbing hold of her attention for an instant she reaches down, brushing her hand gently over wisps of dark hair on the tiny head cradled gently in the crook of my arm. " If you get tired, want to go home, let us know, use the call button, and we'll come and take her to the nursery for the rest of the night, Mr. Burrows. "
The warmth of her wrapped in my arms, snuggled in against my body, makes the words coming from my mouth, " I won't get tired ... who could ever get tired of this,
some of the truest and most heartfelt words I've ever spoken in my life.
A loud clap of thunder from outside, filling every corner of the room at the instant the woman disappears into the hall, startles the sleeping baby, causing her to begin to squirm and cry softly in my arms.
Falling back on what I can recall from a time when I was far too young and not nearly as involved as I should have been, remembering what worked best when LJ was a baby, I begin slowly rocking in the chair and speaking to her softly in a calm, reassuring voice.
A few " Its okay ... don't cry and some shhhh's " far from doing the trick, I decide that while she cannot understand the words perhaps hearing about her father, the emotion I feel just thinking of him being so far away at the most important moment of his life filling my voice as I speak, may be just the ticket for both us.
" I guess I should tell you about you father... He'd be here if he could, Em.
He'd be so crazy over you. Sure, he's kind of quiet sometimes but he couldn't help but gush over you and you'd put that quietness of his to an end if a big hurry now, wouldn't you."
Her cries dying out, fading into little more that a choked whimper followed predictably by hiccups, I decide to keep at it believing perhaps it is, true or not, helping calm her every bit as much as myself. " I don't think he ever gave much thought to fatherhood but I know when he sees your face for the first time nothing in this whole world will ever make him happier or more proud than being your father will. "
Falling silent in my arms, looking up, around her, wide eyed and more alert that she'd been as yet, I'm startled to see 'his eyes' looking back at me, pushing me to go on for both our sakes. " Lets see - he's tall... Well, not taller than me when you get right down to it but since he's kind of skinny he looks taller and I let him believe he is because that what big brothers do sometimes. "
She yawns several times, her tiny eyelids fluttering open then shut, fighting to stay awake.
" He has dark hair, curly if it gets too long so he cuts it all off every chance he gets..."
With my last words, a promise I know I'll keep, she drifts peacefully back to sleep.
" He loves you, Em, no one will ever let you forget that. Sleep tight and don't you worry because I'm gonna find him for you. Find him and bring him home to you as soon as I can... I promise you that, kiddo. "
Sitting there, rocking her gently, everything quiet, peaceful, for the moment I feel certain I can and will do what I've promised her, that I'll get him back, that everything will work out ... until I look up and notice someone, a dark shadow looming in the doorway across the room.
Watching it, him, standing there unmoving for several minutes, there is something about the figure I see there, an outline I begin to recognize even in darkness that prompts me to move, spring into action.
Placing the baby safely in the bassinet beside Sara's bed I move toward the intruder quickly, purposefully, allowing my rapid approach to push him backward into the hallway, backward into the light. " I thought I made it clear I didn't want you anywhere near them, Mr. Burrows. "
Stepping up, into his face, forcing him around the corner on the off chance Sara may awaken and hear the two of us, I do what it takes to make myself equally clear. " And I think you know there is NOTHING you can to do that will keep me from my brother's daughter or the mother of his child..."
As I move in, shouldering him back with as much force as I dare, two suited men rush in, flanking him defensively on either side.
" I'm fine gentlemen. " With a hand in the air, stopping them where they stand, shooing them away, he levels his gaze on me as his voice drops to little more than a whisper. " The nurse informs me there is a family waiting room at the end of the hall. We need to speak ... in private. I have information you'll want to hear.
Information that may make it possible for you to bring your brother safely home..."
TBC...