Disclaimer: I know they're not mine. I'm old and tired so, PTB, please don't slap me around for playing with your toys.
Last Time: Lincoln discovered Michael hidden away in Mexico just in time to tell him he was a father
" Is she healthy ... is Sara okay? "
Standing behind me he grips my shoulder firmly, a good thing since I suddenly feel as if I might tumble from my chair to the floor from shock. " Yeah, Sara's fine. The baby, Emma, she healthy ... she's perfect, Michael."
Turning the photo over in my hand, my vision so clouded by tears I can barely read the words my mind does the math, discovering her birth date, mentally noting it, before it begins, against my will with another calculation. " She knew... you knew. You both knew in San Diego!"
My stomach twists into a tight knot anger welling up to meet all the other emotions swimming around in my head. " YOU! You knew she was pregnant and you sent me away anyway."
He squeezes my shoulder, hard, letting go of me, moving back to the chair his eyes down, unwilling to meet my own, studying the floor in what feels like a confession. " No. She was already six months pregnant when I found out, Michael. She called V and asked us to meet her for lunch..."
He looks up unflinching, determined, the you'll listen and believe me look, I know well from a lifetime together, on his face. " I didn't know in California ... as for, Sara she knew but all she could think of then, all she still thinks about, right or wrong, Michael, was that you'd be safe if you ran away. "
" If you'd have come back you'd be in prison right now..."
Watching his face I see a hint, the shine of moisture - tears, something I can't recall ever seeing him shed no matter how bad things got, glistening in his eyes as he speaks. " She's just a baby right now but she'll grow up and believe me, Michael, her thinking of you, seeing you that way would be more than you could stand. I know what I'm saying... its something you'd never want for your child."
He leans back in the chair, fidgeting with his hands on the table, watching them instead of me. " I'm sorry. I know this hurts you but she was right to do what she did. If she'd told you, you would have stayed right by her - their side - right up until the moment they tossed you in a cell and threw away the key. Sara understood that and you know as well as I do... your daughter deserves more than that, Michael."
Nodding, because admitting your older brothers is right is tough no matter how old you get, I get up turning away from him walking absent-mindedly to the door, my mind searching for something, anything to occupy itself before settling on the loose handle on the screen door.
" What goes around comes around, I guess"
I keep my back to him busying myself with jiggling the door handle my eyes fixed on the screw, in need of several turns of a screwdriver, wobbling in place. " When you tried to tell me about him I refused to hear you. There was more to it and I knew it but it was easier to believe what I'd always believed. To believe he was no good and stand firm that nothing you said would change my mind."
Knowing I can't hide any longer I turn around to face him with the ugly truth. " The truth never changed how I felt about him, Lincoln. What he did to her... to all of us...To my mind there were no excuses. A man who'd walk out on his unborn child is a man that's no good. My feelings haven't changed so it's best that she come to understand I am the same and forget I ever existed. "
Seeing his face, realizing he's on the verge of arguing I move back in taking a seat grabbing hold of his forearm lying limp across the table. " She's little now, she knows nothing about me. She's better off never knowing. You could... Would you... for me, let her believe you're her father? V would understand. She'd go along with it, I know she would. Emma would believe. All kinds of parents end up apart for all sorts of reasons. She'd have Sara, V, LJ, ... she'd have a family. You'd take good care of her...
" She'll grow up with a father if you'll do this..."
" You're her father, Michael! "
He takes my hand from his slapping it down, making it clear that not only has he no intention of doing what I've asked, he's angry I'd even dared to ask it. "She's yours and YOU are going to be the one to raise your little girl. "
Opening my mouth to speak, more than willing to put up a fight he stops me before I can say another word. " I won't do it, Michael. I have been and will continue to be there for anything they might need, I promise you that, but they won't need me much longer because you're going to come home and take care of you daughter for yourself soon enough."
I feel bad doing it, I can't help thinking in the back of my head how ridiculous my assurances must have sounded to him back at Fox River, but I laugh at the hopelesslness of the mere suggestion. " I know you mean well but its not possible ...its not going to happen, EVER, and its better if both of us, everyone, understands and accepts it."
" I'm going to stay here tonight, Michael. Can't bear to let you out of my sight just yet." He stands up pulling a cell phone, power cord still attached and hanging, from his pocket laying - pushing it toward me, on the table between us. " Then, tomorrow I'm going to go back home and make this happen. Keep that phone charged and handy at all times so I can reach you if I need to."
As I reach for the phone he catches my hand, pining it down, covering it with his own. " You saved my life, Michael. I owe you everything. I didn't believe you then but you swore you'd do it and you did. It's your turn now. When I tell you I'm going to get you home to your daughter I mean it. You'll just have to have a little faith..."
TBC...
Next Time: Lincoln gets busy finding a way to bring Michael home to his daughter.