I don't knoe why, but when I posted the last two chapters, anything I put in italics came out in a normal font. Oh well. If that messed you up at all, I'm sorry. And to every one that's left a review thank you! I appreciate it. I checked the stats on this this morning. Over two hundred people hit the link since last night. I was amazed! Or maybe it was just one really bored person? Thank you guys, I really mean it. Ska-chan keeps writing...NOW!
Chapter Three
I couldn't help but wonder if this was wrong. I mean for all of my love for him and my happiness with him, it still didn't feel right. Cloud's fingers twitched on my collar bone. You can't even see his arm between my boobs. I can't help but smile at that. Our bodies are molded into each other, him behind me, not saying a word. I guess it makes sense. Most people don't say anything when they're asleep. Doesn't even whisper Aerith's name. I feel bad about it but...it made me happy. We stayed there in the dark. I couldn't sleep. Maybe it was because a million things were flying through my head. Maybe it was because only my hips and legs were covered and the rest of me was kind of cold. The sun would be rising in a few hours. I just couldn't sleep. "Cloud?" I test.
The arm around my waist and the one hidden between me presses me harder against Cloud. His entire body tightens like a coil around me, refusing to let me go. Not that I wanted to. "What's wrong?" he whispers. I wish I could see his face. Touch it, make sure it's still him, he's still here. "Tifa?"
"You're really staying?" Cloud takes his hand off my waist, leaving a new cold spot. He pulls it out from under me before removing himself from me completely. It upsets me a little. I get scared, thinking I said something I shouldn't have. I should have been quiet. He's by the window now, pushing back the curtains to let the moon show through. Its pale rays reflect off his smooth skin as he walks to the door and listens for any one awake. My heart crumbles more and more with his every silent step. I close my eyes wishing I knew what to do and start rolling onto my back because of Cloud. He collapsed on top of me, bringing the blanket up around us. "Can we stay like this forever?" I whisper after a second.
He kisses me again. Says I need to be sleeping. I know he's right. We have lives that need keeping. Children that need to be tended to. Deliveries to be made. I don't worry about that though. I only think if I fall asleep he'll disappear. I'll wake up all by myself again. Which I did. But he coxed me into a slumber anyway. I don't think even the kids could have woken me.
I rubbed my eye, seeing sunlight and knew it was over. Cloud wasn't next to me. Marlene and Denzel were already at school. I sat up and looked at the clock. 9:52 am. "Damn." Finding my tank top and shorts, I walked out to the bathroom, still pulling them on. Went through the basic morning routine. Hair goes up in a clip, teeth are brushed, make a face at the mirror. Now all I need is to get a glass of juice from the fridge, check messages and open the bar. There were no messages though. No worries. I flipped the sign in the front to Open, Denzel had left the door unlocked. Don't know why I wiped down the bar. It was still clean. And then I waited. And waited. For what? I don't know. I just waited for something to happen. Anything to happen. A few people come in, some regulars that just want to start their day drunk, some I've never even seen before. Not like it matters, every one gets served just the same.
Nothing will happen today. It's Thursday and it's not even noon. People start filtering out. I shut the drawer on the register, say "Have a nice day!" to some one who doesn't give a damn and sigh. I finish getting ready for the day. Life used to be so eventful. I used to travel everywhere. I mean, yeah, it was because I was tracking down a certain super villain who wanted to kill everything ever created but at least I was really doing something. Now I just have to sit here, wait and act like I'm content with life. Is this what Cloud felt like? Is this why he would never be home? Because he was...restless? Am I ever going to find peace in my heart? Or will I live out the rest of my days behind a counter regretting my choice to stay here?
The phone's ringing in the office. I go back there, pick it up, wish I hadn't. It's one of Denzel's teachers. He got in a fight with another boy during lunch. The other boy's eye is quickly swelling and nearing purple. "Do I need to come in?" She answers no. Tells me why it happened. "All right. I'll talk to him when he comes home. Thank you." I can't help but think we're bad parents. We're not even real parents. Hmph, we're not even together. Life goes on as usual. Noon hits, more people come in. I serve them, laugh with them. I take their money and they leave. If I were to just get up and leave would they even notice? I shake my head. Don't think like that. Don't be stupid.
Another half hour goes by, no one even comes in. I flip the sign by the door for my self appointed lunch break. I don't even eat lunch. Maybe I'm just having a bad day. I'd say maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed but it's not like it was my bed I woke up in. Bed becomes the only thing I can think of so I do the logical thing. Go to it. A heavy breath escapes me as I put the alarm on and fall onto it. For a while it's just staring at the ceiling. Then my lids get heavy, I stop swinging my feet.
The alarm never went off. I got up around 2. Cloud's watching me. I don't know how long he's been there. I jumped when I saw him. "Cloud?" He smiles. I sit up. It feels like all I ever do is work and sleep. I need to get out more. I confess, "I didn't think you'd be home any time soon."
He shrugs. "I told you I'm here now didn't I?"
"Yeah. Guess I just wasn't sure if you meant it." He laughs. I love it when he laughs. It's only for a second before he goes back to watching me. I take my hair down and finger comb it. I don't know what to do since he's watching me. "So where did you go?" I finally ask.
"I had a few deliveries to make."
"But it was just the one?" I pause. "You checked the messages, huh?" He nods. "Yeah..." I still don't know what to do. The kids will be home in an hour but until then? "I guess I should open the bar back up." Not like it matters.
I get up and start to walk past him but he stops me. He stands, looks at me for a second, reads my emotions I guess. "Don't reopen the bar just yet. Let's get out for a while." When I start to protest he continues with, "Come on, Tifa. We'll take Marlene and Denzel out early and get out of the city for a while. You look like you need it." My cheeks get warmer as I blush. He's probably right. I nod with a smile. Cloud pecks me on the cheek, my smile gets bigger. Still holding my hand, he leads me out the door. As I lock it, he says, "Besides, I have something I need to tell you."
So maybe the italics worked this time? Let's hope so. I find it helpful. I'm still amazed that so many people are into my story. YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO DAMN HAPPY! Hehe, sorry. So it's my mom's birthday so I might not get to write chapter four today but you never knoe. I'll update soon I promise! Ska-chan.