Disclaimer: I know they're not mine. I'm old and tired so, PTB, please don't slap me around for playing with your toys.
Last Time: Michael saw Sara and held his little girl for the first time.
I made myself scarce the first day and a half or so.
They needed time together.
I've done enough damage to Michael, and now by extension Sara and Em, that the last thing they needed was me hanging around and getting under foot.
I stayed away as long as I could, but running out of things to do with myself paired with the need to have a long overdue talk with Michael about what it would take to get him back home forced me reluctantly back to the condo in the late afternoon of their second day together.
With every thing quiet as I slip through the door, I make my way down the short hall, passing Sara's closed bedroom door, careful each step of the way to not to wake anyone during a well deserved nap.
Relieved to find my door open, avoiding the loud creak it tends to have, I'm surprised, glancing in from dark hall, to find the room occupied by Michael and Emma.
Standing in shadow outside, unnoticed, I take a moment to watch them.
Stretched out, laying on his side, head propped up on the palm of one hand, watching her as she sleeps curled up on a pale pink blanket next to him, he looks as happy as I can ever recall seeing him look.
Watching them together, I have the impulse to turn and leave, to do anything but tell
him what I need to say, but one good look at him - barefoot, toes numbering eight,
the dark ink on his arms standing out in sharp contrast against the plain white short
sleeved T shirt - reminds me that what I see is the not the happy picture it should be
and I can't wait any longer to tell him the truth.
As I enter, crossing the room and taking a seat gently on the edge of the bed,
he looks up at me, smiling, offering a casual " hey, " making it clear to me that he
feels as good as he looks.
" Where's Sara? Sleeping? "
He nods slowly, a hint of sadness and regret creeping into his voice as he speaks.
" Yeah. She didn't get much sleep last night - I can only imagine what's been like
for her trying to do this alone - so I figured the least I could do while I had the chance
was watch Em so she could get a good long nap. "
He looks down, rubbing the back of his neck, avoiding my gaze with what I can see is guilt already weighing heavily on him. " I should have helped her last night but..."
I jump in, cutting him off, hoping to make things easier - because making things easier for Michael is what I need to do. " But you weren't in there ... you were out there on the couch. "
He looks up at me nodding his head, slowly bringing his chin back to rest in the palm of his hand.
" Not that it's any of my business ... but ... well, I was kind of shocked when I came back late to grab a little sleep and found you out there. Is everything okay? "
He shakes his head softly, offering a weak, defeated smile.
" God... Linc... I wanted to be in there, but I just couldn't. I've missed her so much.
Think about her all time. I just knew if I got that close, I'd get carried away. "
I watch him and consider my words, knowing full well that this is one of those times when the ways in which our two minds work part company and what I'm thinking, what I'm about to say, is sure to be the wrong thing. " So? If she means that much to you, what could be wrong with getting ' carried away, ' Michael? "
The way he looks at me, his brow furrowed, obviously considering his words as well,
I can tell he sees and understands the gap in our ways as well.
" Well, for one thing, I told myself I wouldn't get carried away since I am, as they say,
' not prepared '..." He looks down at her, brushing the hair back from her forehead with
the tips of his fingers. " I can't take any chances with having another one of these I
can't be around to take care of..."
" Well, if that all it is..." Relieved it's nothing more, I lean up dragging my wallet out, digging through it quickly to get what I need, tossing the packet lightly on the bed near his feet. " I'm here to help, little brother! "
He looks down the end of the bed to see it lying there at his feet, then slowly
back up to meet my eye with an amused smirk.
" You, on the other hand ... always prepared. "
" Yeah... Well...what can I say... I learned that lesson young. "
With the smile wiped from his face, he looks back down with a heavy sigh to her lying there. " You're a wiser man than me on that point. If I'd been more careful... "
The thought that maybe he regrets her, yet knowing he never could and never will, stirs me to action, reaching out to take hold of his hand, grasping it firmly, drawing his attention back to me. " Wait just a minute! LJ is the best thing that ever happened to me...I wouldn't change a thing if it meant being without him. Things are hard now, but it will get better, Michael, and you're gonna feel the same way... I promise."
" Yeah...You're right. I know you're right. "
She fusses at his side - crying softly, the pacifier having fallen away as we talked - until he rescues it, returning it to her, soothing her like a pro with sweet words and gentle pats on her tiny back as he kicks the condom at me with his good foot. " It's not just that. When you get right down to it, it doesn't matter what I want. I have no future ... nothing to offer her. Best not to start anything now..."
Realizing I can't waste anymore time, tossing my wallet - the offered contents restored to its place inside - to the nightstand after closing the door, I grab the chair from the desk nearby, turning it around to sit facing him next to the bed.
" There's something important I need to tell you. "
Knowing me well enough to know when I'm serious, he says nothing, only nodding his understanding and willingness to listen.
" You can come home. I can prove your innocence and you can come home."
The way he looks at me, so calm, his silence telling me he knows there's more, a catch. " T bag, twisted fuck, taped a confession before he killed himself. It's all there, Michael - how he framed you, everything we need to clear your name all on one DVD."
" Who has it? "
Caught off guard by the question, being out of practice with one another, forgetting for the moment how perceptive he can be, I look over to him.
" I can believe it exists, sounds just warped enough for T bag. I'm sure you've seen it. You wouldn't take someone's word on something like that and I know you wouldn't tell me unless you were sure, but I can tell by the look on your face something's not right, Lincoln. You would have used it by now if you had it, so it stands to reason someone else has it ... that they want something in return."
" Sara's father has it, Michael. He'll give it to us, do everything he can to help clear your name.."
Still absently-mindedly rubbing her tiny back, he pulls his hand away bringing it up to his face, raking his fingers hard over his head in frustration.
" Let me guess... To get his help I have to turn my back on Sara and the baby?"
" No..."
My heart twists in my chest knowing full well what he'll do before I even speak the words. " Just Sara. You stay away from Sara and he'll do it - whatever it takes to clear your name and ensure your legal rights when it comes to seeing Emma. He said to tell you - you can have your daughter as long as you walk away from his."
Looking up at me, chuckling softly in defeated amusement under his breath, I do everything I can to stop him from saying the words I know are on the tip of his tongue. " We don't have to do this yet! I've been talking with the tourist trap video kiosk in Vegas and they're doing what they can to find out if they have a copy of what he recorded... Oh, and I've been talking with Frank, too. I'm trying to talk sense to him, Michael. I haven't gotten anywhere yet, but I'm not giving up on it and you can't either."
" Linc!"
This time it's him grabbing hold of my arm to reign me in. " There is no copy, Lincoln. He's not a stupid man. You know as well as I do, if there ever was one, I'm sure he thought far enough ahead to make it disappear. He's the kind of man used to getting what he wants. If this is what he wants he'll have covered all the bases and all the talking in the world won't change his mind."
Letting go of my arm, lying back down next to her, his head falling heavy on the pillow, he says exactly what I knew was coming...
" I won't abandon my child, Linc. You know I can't do that. You'll go to him and tell him for me. If that's what it will take to raise my daughter, I'll do what he asks. "
TBC...
Next time: Time running short leaves Michael no choice but to say good-bye, sending them all back home, to Sara, Em and Lincoln.