Encore
Everything's supposed to have a happy ending
But the record keeps keeps skipping
And the needle keeps bending
Like the road I'm driving to the bridge that has no end
I wanna take back everything that I've broken,
But the bridges behind me are burnin' and smokin',
Iguess this is the end
Marvelous 3 / Cigarette Lighter Love Song
Ellie had been at Lake View for nearly a week, things were as good as could be expected except for the simple fact Orion seemed to have a crush on our favorite red-head. She grabbed a computer pass from the reception desk and walked into the common room, grabbing a computer and signing onto the DCS homepage to check her Dmail and get her homework.
To: NoLabels
From: MrSimpson
Subject: New Assignment
Ellie-
Class isn't the same without you're smile, we can't wait to have you back next semester, hope you're doing well. I received your HTML assignment, great job. You were off on a bit of the encoding, but nothing major. I have a few assignments for you that are due next week.
-Build a business complete with designs for business cards / flyers / webpage
-create animated graphics for your webpage
-5 entries in your locker journal
next week I'll be finishing up your study guide sheet for midterms
faxing your midterm to LV in two weeks
hope to be grading an 'A' on your exam
-Simpson
Ellie smiled and made a mental note to start her assignments as soon as she could and saved the Dmail, moving on to acquire her English and Biology before checking her DMails from her friends.
To: NoLables
From: PicturePerfect
Subject: Hey Grl
Elllllllllie!
Grl I miss U!
Mark and I went 2 the movies last nite.
AmAzInG kIsSeR!
That Orion guy sounds a bit stalkerish, is he at least cute?
Ah!
GTG
xoxox
Ash
To: NoLabels
From: Baddaboom
Subject: Hey Gorgeous
Mi amore
I miss you so much Ellie. Come home soon. Your roommate sounds very nice, she better be taking good care of you, OR ELSE! Dylan and I are fab, thanks for asking. You're not missing much. I know you don't want to hear it, but yes, people have been talking, but no worries mi amore, Ash told them off. It's just people that are ignorant and actually believe that drabble that Heather Sinclaire spouts from her cold sore ridden mouth.
I was over at Craig's for band practice yesterday, (note to self: NEVER LET SPINNER HAVE SPRAY CHEESE IN AN ENCLOSED SPACE) and Ms. Ryan was over for dinner with Joey, and she asked how you were doing, and when you'd be ready to work again when you came home! Girl, you have that woman wrapped around your pretty little finger, she loves you !
Off to dinner with Dyl, ttyl…
Ciao
Marco 3
To: NoLabels
From: badChicken
Subject: Hi
Ellie-
I kno U + I have never been close… but we miss U
Get that pretty red hed of urs back here soon!
WBS
-Jimmy
To: NoLabels
From: Lexxi
Subject: my neck is wide open
Come back Vamp! 3
Ellie smiled and replied happily until she got an instant message.
whocares: hi…
NoLabels: how r u?
whocares: dinner w/ the rents in wasaga
NoLabels: how was it?
whocares: meh…
NoLables: that bad?
whocares: would have rather spent my time AA
NoLabels: ouch…
Ellie starred at the screen and awaited an answer. Then again she wasn't too sure if she really wanted to talk to Sean right now. "Who ya talkin' to?" Verity asked sneaking up behind the redhead, grabbing the back of the chair and leaning forward to see the screen. Ellie rolled the chair to the side and gave Verity a clear view of the computer monitor. "Oh…it's him I take it…" She sat down on Ellie's lap, "may I?" she asked motioning to use the keyboard.
"Be my guest."
And Verity began typing…
NoLabels: hi
whocares: I take it I'm not talking 2 Ellie NE more
NoLabels: nope…this is her roommate, Verity
whocares: where did Ellie go?
NoLabels: bathroom
whocares: cool…
NoLabels: so, UR the infamous Sean
whocares: the 1 and only
NoLabels: so…like, do you love Ellie or something?
"Ouch! Bitch…" Verity muttered as Ellie punched her, Verity laughed.
NoLabels: cuz like…she's told me some stuff…
whocares: I love her, yea…
whocares: we're just on a break
whocares: I have my own issues 2 work out 2
NoLabels: cool….we'll we R goin' 2 lunch now ttyl
(NoLabels has just signed off)
Verity slipped off of Ellie's lap. "Do you think he's sincere about it?" she asked. Ellie shrugged. "Well let's go, time to eat and get fat," she said slightly not amused by the fact she it still seemed like she was being forced to eat. She grabbed Ellie's hand and pulled her to her feet, and they walked off to the mess hall.
"You have your solo with Mohavi today right?" Verity asked.
"Yea, and then I have group with Bronsen before dinner for two hours," Ellie answered.
Verity nodded, "cool…well you're lucky, my first month here I had Callahan, and it sucked, a lot."
Ellie smiled, "Yea, Mohavi's cool." As Ellie returned her computer pass to the reception desk one of the nurses stopped her.
"Miss Nash, you have a phone call."
Ellie responded with a confused look, and then turned to Verity, "I got it, save me a seat." Ellie took the outreached receiver from the nurse and put it to her ear.
"Hey Ellie-bear" a strained voice said over the phone.
"Daddy?" Ellie said, slowly feeling her body becoming excited and soothed as she heard her father's voice over the phone, "what's going on, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I'm just worried about you Ellie-bear."
"I'm fine Daddy, perfect little soldier," she answered.
Greg Nash chuckled on the other end, "your mother called to tell me what happened."
Ellie twisted the phone chord around her finger, "what did she tell you?"
Greg breathed heavily over the phone, " she told me you tried to kill yourself."
"do good little soldiers give up?"
"No…"
"I didn't try to kill myself, Daddy, I hadn't even met to do what I did, Mom scared me and I slipped…and while I tried to clean up Mom was yelling at me…"
"what do you expect honey, you scared her."
"no, Daddy, she was drunk, … I …" Ellie could feel her eyes watering as she strained to remember that night, " she was arguing with me and I swore she was about to hit me…"
"Ellie…"
"Daddy listen, she grabbed my arm and I told her not to touch me…and when she pulled away I fell down the stairs…"
"Ellie, I love you, no matter what." Greg said.
" I know Daddy, … look, I'm feeling well right now, I'm happy, I'm keeping up with my school work, and everything is fine, I'll see you when you get home in August."
Greg sighed, "okay Ellie…give your mother a call, make sure…make sure she's okay."
Ellie nodded, "kay Daddy, I'll call her later…I gotta go, I'm late for lunch."
" I love you my Ellie-bear."
"I love you too Daddy."
Ellie handed the receiver back to the nurse and then slowly made her way to the mess hall. She walked through the lunch line and grabbed a tray, piling it with food before slipping into her seat between Orion and Verity. Ellie didn't say much of anything, just observed, she noticed that Verity was eating very slowly, it had been very hard for Verity to really eat, she would count her bites, she'd eat very slowly; she would eat; not because she wanted to, but because she was being forced to. Ellie ate with her head down. Compared to Verity, she felt like a pig. She'd never thought about her weight before, then again, the thought about her figure never crossed her mind.
Ellie looked up for a moment, just in time to notice that Orion had suddenly turned his head away. He was watching her. Ellie blushed, she'd learned about Orion a lot this week. He was in a few of her group meetings, it turns out he'd been cutting himself for a few years. Unlike most of the other people that felt addicted to the taboo way to cope with issues, he found it to be a spiritual event, it looked at it like the blood letting of the middle ages, or the grief-coping of some native tribes across the world. From what she learned about him, it seemed like he felt he'd done nothing at all terrible. He was a very thin boy, and barely ate. He had this surrounding aura that reminded her of Tracker Cameron's heart. He made her miss Sean. He made her heart ache.
"Eleanor…" Orion began. Ellie looked over, "would you be so kind as to join me for an afternoon sitting session in the sunroom?"
Ellie laughed, "sure Orion…" she answered, figuring she'd be able to work on her English assignment.
Ashley was sitting in her Media Immersion class when a small window flashed on her screen
one new DMAIL
Clicking on her Dmail box she opened a new message…
To: pictureperfect
From: NoLabels
Subject: Re: Hey Grl
Miss U 2 Ash!
Glad U + Mark are doing so well
Orion is a bit of a looker, but we know who my 3 is with
GTG!
Will write more next time
Xoxo
El
Ashley smiled. The third line of the message broke Ashley's heart. She couldn't bear to tell Ellie that Amy was moving in on Sean. She wasn't sure if Sean was reciprocating feelings or if it was one-sided with Amy trying to get her hands back on Degrassi's resident good bad guy. It was almost tempting to tell Ellie to give Orion a chance. Maybe this new guy would be a good thing for Ellie, someone who understands her mannerisms better than Sean. Sure pair had a lot in common with alcoholic parents, but that's about where the line was drawn, or so Ashley felt. She never fully understood the companionship that Sean and Ellie had. The trust, the understanding that was there; to Ashley, they had very little in common, but to someone like Tracker or Marco, who were less preoccupied with themselves, they saw the spark. The spark that only seemed to glow brighter as time inched one while they were apart.
Ashley look up as an instant message screen popped up on the monitor.
AMarkAMission: hey babe
PicturePerfect: hey hon, sup?
AMarkAMission: headin' 2 work, saw U online…
AMarkAMission: U busy 2nite?
PicturePerfect: homework
AMarkAMission: wanna meet up the library?
AMarkAMission: I could help U study…
AMarkAMission: I have to do some research anyways
AMarkAMission: if U want…
PicturePerfect: sounds good
PicturePerfect: what time?
AMarkAMission: I get off work 7:30, so maybe around 8?
PicturePerfect: kay I'll see U then, get 2 work!
AMarkAMission: haha, ttyl xoxoxo
PicturePerfect: :-
AMarkAMission: :-
(AMarkAMission has just signed off)
Ashley smiled. She had no clue how she could possibly have such an amazing life right now. She just hoped that somewhere inside her she wouldn't mess it up. Whenever something good seemed to be going on, her world came tumbling down around her.
Marco was sitting next to Paige and Hazel as they shopped online during Mr. Simpson's lecture on creating animated graphics. He struggled to pay attention but found himself being dragged onto the Gucci website to look for a new shirt with matching jeans.
one new DMAIL
Marco minimized the website and opened his Dmail inbox.
To: BaddaBoom
From: NoLabels
Subject: Re: Hey Gorgeous
Marco!
Thank you for looking out for my rep while I'm gone. I miss you 2!
I really don't know where to start with all stuff going on here, I wish I could tell you something interesting, but there's nothing more than healing going on, I guess…
I met a few cool people, I've already told you about Verity, but I guess I haven't really told you about Orion. I'm telling you this, and not Ashley, because I know how she gets sometimes. But he's really cool. We get along real well. And he's very cute. But I miss Sean so much. I really don't know what to do.
I mean Sean and I are on a break and all, so does that leave me free to get to know other guys?
Urgh I'm so confused….
Send me some gossip
xoxox
Ciao
Els
Marco smiled. She was slowly moving on, and this was very good. 'Or was it?' he asked himself silently. He saw the way Ellie and Sean got along, and he knew there was something more there. 'Ellie and I are soul mates' Marco thought, 'but is it possible that Ellie and Sean could be soul mates as well?' Marco attempted to shake the confusion from his head.
He looked over at Alex who was opening up the inbox to her Dmail folder.
To: Lexxi
From: NoLabels
Subject: Re: my neck is wide open
Cute Alex, really
bb when I can
we can have a sleepover
and we'll braid each other's hair
xoxo
vampy
Alex laughed.
Ellie and her sarcastic humor; if there was one thing that Ellie made good was making dark and negative things more dark and negative with her sarcasm. And it made Alex laugh, but it also saddened her. She didn't understand how Ellie could or would come to the conclusion that her life was so bad. Sure her parents had issues; her dad was a million miles away getting shot at, and her mother was probably passed out drunk on a couch, but Ellie was stronger than that. Alex thought about her home life; how she'd spent many a night listening to her mother cry. If there was one thing that Alex hated more, it was step-fathers. That was another thing Alex was jealous of, Ellie had a father. A real one.
It was her mother's sobs and tears that made Alex toughen up and build a wall around herself. It was very rare that you ever saw Alex let down her guard. Alex always thought her and Ellie were more alike than each other led on. The only difference was Alex chose to hurt other people as opposed to hurting herself.
Amy and Alex, they were best friends. But at times Ellie and Alex connected on a more advanced level…
"way to go Vampy" Alex muttered as she sat down in the hospital chair beside Ellie's bed. Ellie opened her eyes.
"anyone know you're here bitch?" Ellie asked as she pushed herself into a seated position.
"and let on that I'm friends with the school freak?" Alex laughed, "my mom is down the hall…" she said, her voice changing.
"step-dad again?" Ellie asked, concerned
Alex nodded, "who brought you? Amy? Jay?"
"I road in the ambulance this time."
An awkward silence took over.
"so, what happened?"
"fell…"
Alex laughed, "yea…sure…you pining over Seany boy?"
Ellie snorted in disbelief, " I may cut myself over stupid things, but I refuse to cut myself because a boy broke up with me…" And Ellie thought back to the time she cut herself because of the fight her and Sean had had. She rationalized in her own head that it was because she'd upset him, and lost a friend, or at least thought she had as opposed to because they broke up.
"yea…sure…"
"and your other arm?" Alex asked.
"fought with my mom…"
Alex rolled her eyes, "nice Nash…"
"thanks bitch…" Ellie responded, "You really should be with your mom you know…"
" I know, but I've been with her for a few hours, I needed a change of scenery."
Ellie smiled, "so you decided to visit the resident vampire?"
Alex laughed, "who else would I visit?"
If Ellie didn't joke back, Alex would feel terrible about calling Ellie the names she did. Alex was an outcast; her, Jay, Sean, Amy, and Towerz were all outcasts, and Ellie was one of a different color, so to speak. And if Alex was loyal to anything, it was to her kind. Alex smiled as she wrote back.
To: NoLabels
From: Lexxi
Subject: Re:Re: my neck is wide open
Vampy, I found some lyrics U might like
Verse One
I didn't tell anyone about what I seen or heard that day, mums the word still
I'm scared to plant ideas into your head while your rebellious side is fertile
Hurdles are getting knocked down
I'm running a losing race
Your legs aren't the only ones marked up How many dreams have you chased?
If I could have said this to your face maybe you wouldn't have to write like I do,
Except I use paper instead of my body now; it's something you might want to try too
From haikus to horror stories, it's something in our blood that we share,
Something in our blood that appears on the surface of our skin when we bring it there
My facial expression said I didn't care
Hate and aggression must've made an impression on the little kid who stared,
Sitting on stairs when I would bother to bring my skates
My feeble attempt at being a strong, big brotherdoing father figure 8's
Ripping my cape on the ground that it dragged on
Tripping on fate and hearing the sounds of a sad song
Listen, it's great sharing time now that dad's gone,
But what's with the choice of words?
Or the body parts that you decided to tag them on?
I'm a bagabond who moved to modern day Babylon and then back again
With minimal contact and you know I can't ask your mom what's happening
You've got such beautiful gifts What are you doing ruining the packaging?
How ironiccome to thinkI probably put this ink on my back for him
I want you to laugh and sing more,
But you dropped anchor in a place
where dreams go to die and you're keeping your ass indoors
I'm asking for you to stick it outand see things through
You're asking for me to zip my mouth and keep it just between me and you
Chorus
If I could have been there from the beginning if I could be there right now
if I could promise to be there when you need me, would it raise an eyebrow?
How would your body be different if I still dropped by for visits?
Is it my place to put a smile on your face?
Could I erase your body language telling you its all been said before?
Or change the words you wrote, exchanging your scars for my metaphors?
I'd add them to my collection while smiling
Next time you want to paint with razor blades and need a canvas use my skin
Verse Two
You're hiding your sins well, but I see the hell that your limbs speak
Tongue in cheek Lying awake in bed while other kids sleep
The strength of evil begins to keep your grins weak
No matter the length of the needle
marking up one's body is so much more than skin deep
Feel the pin prick The grim reep what they sew and you're trained to say that you're fine
Your thresh hold for pain is greater than mine
So I'm waiting in the lines that you give mepatiently,
While you get cut in the lines that THEY make YOU wait inin ways that they can't see
If there's a vacancy as far as room in your life goes,
say it to me Don't do it with a knife under your clothes
Because the anguish of hidden skinis letting my ghosts be shown
Plus the language its written in hits especially close to home
I'm most alone when I'm out of touch with the people who feel this type of pain
You might just aim for a day that its rainingto strike a vein to take my name in
Changing your uniform and altering your mind set
Has your pointer finger decided if it was a fault of his or mine yet?I bet
I know the dialect It's nowhere I haven't been before
With skin that's sore Battle scars that rise from our inner war
Are decorative medals of honor that our father decided to pass through inheritance
And it is repetitive when the kids head in the direction of evidence
proving the pain and hurt is relative
All this pain and hurt is relative
(repeat chorus)
Fade to black
I know it's not punk rawk or anything like that…I kidnapped the lyrics from some site
Some dude…um…Sage Francis I think…songs called something like, inherited scars
I know U may not think of us as close or anything
But U know I care
Stay out of trouble
And come back to us….cause as much as I love my best friend
She isn't fun to pick on.
Fuck off,
Lexxii
Alex felt accomplished with herself. And leaned back in her chair, looking up as Mr. Simpson rambled on about how to do whatever the assignment was.
Ellie tapped her pencil against the table. Writer's Block, what a bitch.
"Hello milady…" Orion said bowing before Ellie as she set in the common room, working on her homework. Ellie looked up and blushed. She was well aware of Orion's crush on her, and the fact that he constantly reminded Ellie of Sean and Tracker just made her homesick. She didn't need to be homesick, so she felt herself coming to the conclusion that she should push him away.
"Stuck in another century, Orion?" she asked, setting her pencil down. Orion furrowed his eyebrows in a confused manner.
"Sorry, I thought all the ladies like the chivalry thing…" he said sitting down across from her.
Ellie laughed for a moment, "some…not all, it would be easier if you were just yourself"
Orion chuckled deeply and fixed his thick framed glasses, " as you wish…so what are you working on?" he asked pulling out his infamous notebook. He listened as Ellie explained her English homework to the boy with dusty blonde hair as he scribbled and drew in his notebook.
"What are you drawing?" Ellie suddenly interrupted.
"You…" Ellie's eyes flew open and she quickly reached across the table for the notebook, but Orion quickly thwarted her seizing arm and pulled it against his chest. He held out his hand and tic and tacked his finger back and forth, "tsk tsk Missy…it's not finished."
Ellie blushed furiously, she felt her face burning, "I didn't give you permission to draw me…"
"fine" he said ripping a page from the book and slipping it face down across the table. Ellie snatched it up and looked at it and started laughing. It was obviously NOT the drawing he had been working on, but a stick figure. "Are you making fun of my artwork?" he asked hurt, as he continued to sketch Ellie.
"Why are you drawing me?" she asked.
"Because you have the most expressive eyes, … your face is incredibly boring but when it does something you're eyes are the most animated part," he said smirking, and finally ripping out the page to reveal a beautiful portrait of Ellie as she had worked on her English assignment, her hair strewn in her face, a hand tucking fly-aways behind her ear, and he was right, her eyes stood out, they seemed to just stare at the artist, laughing playfully.
"thanks" she said tucking it away into her binder safely, "thanks a lot." Her heart was starting to be frantically, she didn't like this feeling one bit, not one bit at all.
A/N: told ya'll I had Ellie's chapter ready to go...Next Chapter will prolly be another Ellie focus with all the attention on her and her meeting with Dr.Mohavi (who I've affectionally dubbed Dr.Mo) and possibly a focus in on the other's at LVH...
after that another Sean Chapter / focusing in on Jay trying to cheer up his best friend, and him and Emma slowly becoming friends again, or something more? Possibly something going on with Amy trying to get in his pants (ofcourse), and a Sean/Ashley friendship for the first time since she made out with him at that party back at the end of grade 8
hope ya'll enjoyed the lyrics Alex found for Ellie, Inherited Scars by Sage Francis
R/R if you wish...