Not Forever
Time To Go II ( 13/15 )
Disclaimer: I know they're not mine. I'm old and tired so, PTB, please don't slap me around for playing with your toys.
Last Time: The night before they are all to go their separate ways Sara convinces Michael to sit down and talk to her. Talking quickly leads to the two of them spending one last night together.
Waking up alone was far from a shock.
With all that was about to happen, getting him to stay with me at all was a bit of a miracle and I knew it.
He slipped away in the night just as I'd expected him to.
Rolling over to find him gone, I slide over into the spot he'd left hours earlier, resting my head, breathing deeply for any trace of his scent on the cold empty pillow next to me, remembering and stealing away one last moment together before the reality of life without Michael seeps back in.
Lying there tangled in the sheets recalling what it felt like to be wrapped in his arms after so long apart, the real world, in the form of a cranky crying baby, rushes back in through the still closed bedroom door, dragging me from my memories and the bed.
One quick glance over to the clock reminding me how late I'd actually slept I retireve my clothes scattered on the floor next to the bed, dressing in a hurry, stopping only a moment to check myself in the mirror before emerging to rescue Linc from, by the sounds of things, a very crabby little girl.
Round the corner into the living room, her cries dying down as I come in, I can't help but smile at the sight of her perched, gnawing fiercely on the frozen teething ring in her hand, on his gently bouncing knee.
"She sounds really fussy this morning. I hope she wasn't too much trouble... was she up a lot in the night?"
While I'm more than ready to save any serious discussion for a later date, he ignores my best attempt at small talk and looks up to me, his brow creased with worry as he speaks.
" I'm sorry... I told him not to leave without saying good-bye but he wouldn't listen."
Knowing I shouldn't do it because it's easy to see how much what he says means to him, I brush away his apology moving on selfishly needing any last bit of Michael I can get. " You saw him...this morning? Did he see Em before he left, Linc.? "
" We were up...I'd given her a bottle and some Tylenol for her teeth..." He looks at me with a sincere yet deeply sad smile on his face as he brushes her hair, clearly in need of a first trim, away from her face with his free hand. " I left them alone ... some time together ... when I came back she was asleep in her crib and he was gone. "
" Good!... I'm relieved to hear it."
Hoping it will ease his fears, knowing somehow it won't, yet wanting to try just the same I Iean over, wrapping one arm around his neck, offering a small kiss to his cheek while telling him what it is he needs to know. "I'm grateful he got to see Em but I knew he'd be gone, Linc. It's okay ... It is! I understand why he did it. If I had to turn my back and walk away from all of you, I know I wouldn't be able to look you in the eye as I left. It's just for now ... not forever ... and it'll be okay. "
Taking note of a big yawn paired with a tiny balled fists rubbing hard at tired eyes, I reach over taking her into my arms, her sleepy head finding its way instantly to my shoulder as I rise to my feet. " I'm fine. Everything is ... will be fine ... in time but for now we've got just a little over four hours before we need to be at the airport I'll put her down to nap so we can get packed..."
I spent the next three and half hours of packing, searching for a way to tell him that I hadn't been asleep when he told Michael about my fathers plans
Trying to find a way to tell him I heard every word they said...
That I knew what they had planned...
That I had come up with some plans of my own!
But in the end, I decided to say nothing.
A decision made mere minutes before he wandered into my room gathering up the bags to leave. " You got everything?"
One discussion relegated to the back burner I take the opportunity to have another that simply can't wait. " It's all ready to go ... you can take all of them in just a minute but first there's something I need to talk to you about. Sit with me? For just a minute... Please? "
Setting the bags already in his hands to the floor at his feet, nodding his agreement, stepping over them, reluctantly crossing the room, clearly uneasy about what it is I need to say, he takes a seat on the bed next to me without ever saying a word.
" I plan on seeing a lawyer as soon as I get home, Linc. I feel I need to get what will happen to Emma, if anything should happen to me, in writing as soon as possible."
Turning to look at me, brow furrowed, mouth agape, visibly startled by the subject matter, I reach over and lay my hand on his knee, stopping him before he can say a word. " I'm fine ... there's nothing to worry about ... it's just I need to know for my own piece of mind, something I'm sure you can understand after worrying what would have happened to LJ if they'd had the chance to get you back in that chair, what will happen to my daughter if I can't be there to take care of her. "
He nods his understanding slowly refusing to look up and meet my eye. " Yeah, I guess I can understand that..."
" If something should happen, Linc... if it ever comes to it ... will you take care of Em...find a way to get her to Michael for me? I wouldn't ask you but I can't take the chance of her ending up in my father's care."
His whole body tenses, his hand fidgeting nervously under my own at the mere mention of my father's name, making me consider telling him that I know everything one last time.
" He was never much of a father to me. Too many things meant more to him than being a father. He's not capable of putting Emma's needs first. I need you to be there to make sure someone does just that by getting her to her father. "
" Of course! " Without a thought of doing otherwise he gathers my hand in his, lifting it up and squeezing it firmly, reassuringly, kissing the back of my hand as he tells me exactly what I'd hoped he would say. " You're family, both of you and I'm here, going to stay that way, for anything you ever need, Sara. "
TBC... ( just a little bit more)
Next Time: What does Sara have in mind when it comes to handling her father and getting Michael back home to both her and Emma?