Encore
Ellie was sitting on her bed diligently working on her class assignments and struggling with her math assignment when Verity walked into the room. Ellie had noticed that over the past few days Verity had gained weight and was starting to fill out her curves. Ellie knew Verity hated it. Verity wanted to keep her little boy figure; no hips, tiny breasts. The other girl fell on her bed and groaned, "I want to throw up." Ellie looked up from her homework. "They urged us each to eat one chocolate from a box today in group…"
"And that's a bad thing? It's chocolate," Ellie argued, " god forbid it had been boiled cabbage."
Verity laughed, "it was coconut."
"Aw, poor baby" Ellie said laughing.
"I happen to hate coconut," Verity answered, matter-of-factly. Ellie laughed and rolled her eyes before returning to her assignment. Ellie groaned and fell back against her pillows. Verity walked over and took a peek at Ellie's assignment, "Not a fan of numbers?"
"Sean usually helps me with my number hatred." Ellie sat up and scooted back, pressing her back against the headboard. Verity climbed onto the bed, sitting Indian style. She turned the notebook around to examine Ellie's mathematic skills. Or lack there of.
"Orion's good at numbers."
Ellie stared at Verity as if she were crazy, "What do you mean by that?" Ellie asked, catching on to Verity's game.
Verity tossed her long hair behind her, and wiggled her eye brows, "You know…You and Orion."
Ellie choked on her breath, "What do you mean, me and Orion?"
Verity bobbled her head, "we're not stupid Ellie, everyone's noticed, Orion's got a little crush on you, and I think you like him, too."
Ellie's heart sped up and she struggled to release a strained laugh, "not happening."
"Do you really expect that ex of yours to stick around when you get out of here?" Verity asked, she unfolded her legs and sat on her knees, "He says he loves you, you say he loves you, but he hasn't come to visit out of the how many days and almost weeks you've been here." Ellie opened her mouth to interrupt, " No, buts, you know it, and I know it, you can't keep waiting around for someone, and you're on a break El, you're free to see other people."
Ellie was dumbfounded. She didn't know what to think, instead she grabbed her books and pencil and left the room.
Finding herself alone, he curled her feet underneath her as she collapsed in a chair in the furthest reaches of the common room. It happened to be at that moment that Orion walked in with Jane and Leslie into the room. Noticing this she quickly tried to make herself invisible. She went un-noticed for as long as she wanted to be, it was when a tough equation made her groan that the small group noticed her.
"Hey Ellie" Leslie called out sweetly, "did see you over there, you gunna come join us?"
Ellie's face scrunched up into a look that screamed: I don't want to but I guess I will. She sprawled out on the floor at the feet of Jane, Leslie, and Orion and continued on with her war with numbers. "How can you do homework, Ellie, this is your vacation from the real world." Ellie looked up at Jane and frowned.
" I'm trying to keep it so that I'll be in the same grade as all my friends next year," Ellie explained, a nasty annoyed tone in her voice.
"sorry I asked," Jane responded, obviously annoyed with Ellie's attitude. Ellie signed, ther"e really was no need for her attitude, and it only upset her a bit more to know she upset someone else. She wasn't here to make people dislike her.
"What's got you all grumpy milady?" Orion asked.
Leslie and Jane both rolled their eyes. Sure they both liked Ellie, but she was a baby here, a newbie, and she was already messing things up just a little bit. Maybe it was just a tinge of jealous that had the girls so worked up, after all, before Ellie came Orion was their pet, now Ellie had him completely wrapped around her finger, whether she wanted to admit it or not.
"Ouch, what is that calc?" Orion asked.
" just some advanced geometry and algebra." Ellie answered, trying to focus. She didn't want Orion's help, it would just create problems, and she didn't need anymore problems.
" I could---"
" No thanks, I'd really like to do this on my own." Ellie answered.
Orion looked hurt, but quickly pushed his attention back to Leslie and Jane, "would you ladies like to accompany me to the snack machine?" Leslie and Jane smiled and each grasped on to Orion's scrawny arms and walked out of the common room.
Ellie sighed in relief.
"Why the sigh of relief Nash?"
Ellie looked up, in another corner of the room she finally noticed Max sitting in the farthest reaches of the room. "Excuse me?" she asked. Max laughed to himself and stood up, walking over to the empty couch and lying across it.
" Just wondering why you feel so relieved" Max asked.
" Because I need to work on my homework?" Ellie said, questioning her own response.
" Are you sure it doesn't have anything to do with Orion?"
Ellie fell silent and took a moment to form a response, " why would it have anything to do with Orion? I have a boyfriend."
Max chuckled, " and I'm sure the boyfriend would love to see how you look at Orion, or even the way you act around him."
"what is that supposed to mean?" Ellie asked as she started to become annoyed with the way Max seemed to be creepily watching her and Orion's every move.
" I just mean, that you two have chemistry, why not experiment with it?"
" I'm not about to set myself up for something tragic to happen"
"Who says something tragic will happen?"
" You're creeping me out, you know that Max?" Ellie stated, trying to turn back to her homework. Max just laughed. Ellie looked up at him again.
" I'm sorry, Ellie, I'm just an observer, I notice things."
" you notice too much sometimes," Ellie said simply, " you're boarding on nosey."
" sorry, I didn't mean to but my nose in," Max answered, "it's just that, I room with Orion and he's never been interested in a girl…"
" What about Leslie and…"
" Jane?"
" No interest in them, most of the time he's usually interested in …"
" who?"
" it's not a matter of who, more of a matter of … guys?" Max tried to explain. Orion was in fact bi-sexual and was usually attracted to guys, " I don't even know why I'm telling you this…" he stopped as he noticed Ellie's face fall, he hadn't continued to mention that Orion was also interested in girls before Ellie nearly burst into tears of frustration.
" I knew he was too good to be true…I will not go through that again." She said with a mix of anger and sadness as she closed her notebook quickly. She stood up to leave when Max grabbed her arm and pulled her onto the couch.
" What are you talking about Ellie?"
" you're telling me he's gay right?" Ellie asked, "this is just like Marco, I'm surprised Sean didn't turn out to be gay, especially with all the time he spent around Jay…" Ellie continued to ramble.
" he's not gay."
Ellie stopped rambling and looked at Max, " but you sad…"
" I said he's usually interested in guys…he's bisexual Ellie, he likes chicks, and he really likes you."
Ellie flushed beet red, " I'm sorry," Ellie looked down at her notebook. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she looked over at Max, "it's just that…when you said he was interested in guys I though…"
" I know what you thought…"
" What did I think?" Ellie asked, " you have no idea what it was like for me to be interested in my best friend only to have him turn out gay…I was his girlfriend for months before he even came out to anyone other than me"
" no but I know what it's like to be interested in my best friend and have him turn out straight."
Ellie looked at Max softly, she felt terrible for jumping to conclusions about him, " I'm sorry Max."
"Don't be, I'm very much taken…and very much in love."
"But…"
" it's not someone here" Max answered, knowing what she was hinting at, " he's back home, he writes me everyday."
Ellie smiled, " wondered who you were getting letters from."
Max blushed, "so about Or---"
" No…"
"What?"
" It doesn't feel right, I feel like I'm doing Sean wrong…"
" I don't understand…no one's told me much about this Sean guy, but from what I can tell he seems like a thug."
Ellie laughed, "definitely seems that way doesn't it?" I can assure you that he's really not as bad as you think."
"he's already as bad as I think, any self respecting boyfriend who cared even the smallest bit about his girlfriend would be here every weekend, or everyday, or even once."
" Sean doesn't need to prove to me anything."
"Why not?"
Ellie closed her eyes, and explained to Max about the moment she knew she could trust Sean…
" I saw you talking to Sean today…what was that about" Ashley asked as she opened a can of soda. Craig's attention perked up at the mention of Sean's name and the tone in which Ashley had said his name.
" Why do you make it sound like such a bad thing Ash?" Craig asked.
Ashley turned to Craig and began to ramble on about how Sean's been hanging out with the wrong crowd lately and he's becoming such a bad kid. All Ellie could do is watch Craig and Ashley banter back and forth about what Sean was like. All she knew was that Sean seemed to understand her, and trusted her word unlike the people she thought were her friends. She knew deep down Ashley didn't believe her about the cut being an accident. Ellie looked over at Marco who was gazing off dreamily at Dylan. She no longer even acknowledged Ashley's question and picked up her tray, dumping it in the garbage and leaving the cafeteria. Ashley, Craig, and Marco hadn't even noticed her absence. Then again, the only two people that noticed had been Paige and Sean.
Then again, the only one who followed had been Sean.
Ellie found the only quiet place in the school. It also happened to be the most empty at the time. The Library. Ellie slid down her back to the section on Ancient Greeks. Ellie pulled back her long sleeves and looked down at her scabbed and scared arms and just scratched at the old wounds. Digging deeper with her nails she brought new blood to the surface of her pale skin. It was a release for the moment. In a few moments her arm would be inflamed in pain, but it didn't matter for the masochist. Pain was good. Pain brought the pleasurable release; it wiped away every ounce of stress, everything worth crying over. She leaned her back against the bookshelves and just felt a wash of relief span over her body, and then, a blue bandana fell into her lap.
"Hi Sean" Ellie muttered without even needing to look up.
"Hi Ellie" Sean said squatting down in front of the redhead. He pulled his bandana from her lap and wrapped it gently over her re-opened cuts to stop the bleeding, "You okay?" he asked.
"Now I am," she said looking down at her arm, and at the small specks of blood gathered under her fingernails.
"Wanna get out of here?" he asked.
Ellie looked up at Max who just sat dumbfounded, " he made you skip class, that's why you love him so much?" he asked.
Ellie laughed, " we ended up going back to his place and he cleaned up my arm," Ellie blushed, " I don't know if you've ever had someone clean your cuts or even touch your scars, Max, but it was a very intimate moment for me."
Max smiled, " I know what you mean."
"So you understand why I say that he doesn't have to prove anything to me."
" I understand, but I also understand that you're on a break with him, he may still love you and you may still love him, but to me that shouts ' I wanna see what else is out there ' do you know what I'm saying?" Max answered.
Ellie nodded, " but it's not as easy as everyone else is making it out to be."
-X-
"Eat something will you?" Emma asked as she watched Sean stare at his veggie burger and twirled his fries until they were soggy with ketchup.
" Not hungry."
" You starting to scare me with all this Sean."
Sean looked up at Emma and smiled, he hadn't meant to scare her. They were currently sitting at the Dot, enjoying an absolutely boring afternoon. Sean knew for sure that he didn't want to see anyone else, at least for the moment, and Emma was the closest thing to a friend he had apart from Jay, who was constantly trying to hook him up with someone or even a something like Amy. He much preferred the company of his ex-girlfriend to his well meant best friend.
" Have you thought about visiting her?" Emma asked as she slurped down a strawberry milkshake.
Sean shook his head, " I don't know if she'd even want to see me."
" Why wouldn't she?"
" I don't know, I feel like I put her there."
" Sean we all make our own decisions, you didn't make her do anything." Sean dropped his french fry and stared at his plate. Emma reached across the table and pushed his plate closer to him, " Eat something…you're starting to look like you have an eating disorder."
" I don't have an eating disorder, I'm just not hungry." Sean was just depressed. Depressed. He never thought he'd end up there. Being depressed was for people who… He didn't want to finish that thought. Instead he picked up the french fry and slowly ate it, and then began work on his burger.
" I think you should go…" Emma said, " when I found out about my dad…I was shocked, and the first time I visited with him alone it was scary, if you want…I'll go with you."
" Thanks…but I don't know if I even want to go, Emma."
There was silence before Emma spoke again, " do you love her?"
Sean almost choked on his veggie burger, " can we not talk about that?"
" why not? It's an easy question, do you love her?" Sean remained silent, Emma continued, "why is it so hard for you to answer?"
"Maybe because my ex-girlfriend is asking me the question," Sean answered.
" Well think of me as a friend," Emma continued, " do you love her?"
"You know you're not just a friend Emma."
"answer the question Sean"
"YES!" Sean shout out in aggravation, " I love her."
Emma smirked, "was that so hard?"
Sean rolled his eyes, " what was the point to that Emma."
"Your reason to go visit her," Emma said, returning the straw of her milkshake to her lips.
" how is that a reason?"
" you love her, are you honestly going to tell me that you're going to let her stay in there with out her knowing that."
" she already knows."
" then prove it to her."
" I don't need to prove anything to Ellie," Sean argued. Emma sighed. "Why do you want me to visit her so bad?"
"Because you've been a depressing person to be around, and I'm sure wouldn't want to see you like this, I figure if you see her, you'll cheer up a bit."
This time it was Sean's turn to sigh, he opened his mouth to respond, but somewhere he knew Emma was right. He needed, cross that out, he wanted to see Ellie. He wanted to see Ellie more than life itself and would give anything to hold her tightly. He could only hope that she wanted to see him. " What if she doesn't want to see me?"
" What wouldn't she?"
" What if she met someone?"
"Sean relax, do you want to go or not?" Emma asked.
" I want to go."
" Then we work from there, now eat" she ordered pointing to his half eaten veggie burger.
-X-
Ellie was sitting in her room alone. Verity had a private meeting with Dr. Bronsen and wouldn't be back for an hour. It was a little after lunch when she looked up to see Orion standing in her doorway, " I hear you talked to Max."
Ellie blushed slightly, remembering the conversation she'd had with Max earlier in the week, the conversation about how Orion felt towards her, and how she was very reluctant to start anything because of Sean. " And where did you hear that?"
" Max"
Ellie laughed, " Yea, me and him spoke."
" About me?" Ellie nodded a response, " Can I come in or do I have to stand her the whole time?" he asked, " I promise I'm not a vampire, I won't bite."
Ellie laughed, " yea, come in." she said shifting her books on her bed and staking them neatly on the floor, making room for Orion to sit on her bed.
" Look Ellie, I really like you, a lot," Orion started, " I know we've only really known each other a few weeks, but…"
" Orion, really, you're an amazing guy but…"
" is this because of what Max told you?" Orion asked, " because I'm into guys too?"
Ellie laughed, " not at all,…look, Orion, really you're amazing, and I feel a connection, a very strong one, it's just that…"
" that boy back home, Sean right?"
Ellie nodded, " we're on a break, but I can't bare to see anyone else."
" are you scared you might move on?"
Ellie narrowed her eyes, " what do you mean?"
" I mean, you seem like you're scared to move on, like if you fall in love with someone else and he doesn't he'll be left alone, or that you'll wait for him forever, even if he finds someone else."
Ellie didn't know how to respond, yes she was scared. Sean was just about the best thing to ever happen to her, the second person she'd ever loved (after Marco), and was that something she wanted to lose? " I … I don't know what to say to that Orion."
" Well at least hang out with me a little bit, I'm leaving in two weeks." Ellie's jaw dropped, she'd completely forgotten that Orion was leaving Lake View in about two weeks. She didn't know how to respond. She wasn't sure how things would be without him. " You forgot, it's okay…we can't all be in here with you unfortunately."
Ellie smiled, " oh it'd be such a tragedy to be without me."
" it would be," Orion answered. Ellie's smiled brightened. " What are you working on?" he asked pointing to the stack of books, " that's not your normal homework, that's for sure."
" extra personal work," she explained, " I had an internship with a television station working with Caitlin Ryan, and she and I started developing a news show for kids, where they report the news in a manner that children and teenagers would understand."
" So what's all that?" he asked.
Ellie grabbed the stack of books and notebooks and opened them all. She showed Orion the stage design sketches with the news desk, all her notes on different issues in the world, and ways to portray them. It was impressive, "Wanna help me get all this in my binder?" she asked. Orion quickly jumped to the challenge.
-X-
Sean sat in the back seat with Emma nervously. Jay and Alex had taken up the task of driving the pair up to Lake View to see Ellie, it wasn't just Sean who wanted to see her, Alex was interested as well, and Jay, though he didn't want to admit it, was hoping to see the redhead looking better. The car stopped and everyone got out, and as Sean took one look at the facility he attempted to dive back in the car. Emma grabbed his hand and reassured him that everything would be fine. The four walked in, and stopped at the reception desk. One of the reception nurses perked up at their arrival. "Welcome to Lake View, how can I help you?" she asked.
" I'm Sean Cameron, I called earlier about visiting Ellie Nash," Sean said nervously, his hands nervously fidgeting in his hoodie kangaroo pocket.
"Hmm…" the nurse muttered as she looked through papers on the desk, " when did you call?"
" the other day I believe," Sean answered and started giving Emma, Jay, and Alex nervous looks.
" Andi must of not written me a note," the nurse looked up, " I'm sorry, we just weren't expecting you—"
" Well I guess I can come back another time." He turned to leave.
" No that's alright, Ellie has nothing else going on today, she's finished for the day, I think some visitors would make her very happy." Sean suddenly became nervous as the desk paged another nurse to take them to Ellie's room. " She should be in her room, she hasn't signed out a computer pass and she doesn't look to be in the common room." Sean attempted to smile at the nurse.
" Thanks"
A slim young man appeared at the reception desk, introduced himself as Jack and began leading them to Ellie's room, all the more while becoming nervous. He wasn't sure if it was because of the people that were there, or just the thought of seeing Ellie again. And then Sean heard Ellie's laugh, and he smiled. Jack knocked on the open door's frame and announced to Ellie that she had visitor's. Ellie cocked her head in confusion and then Sean stepped into the open door frame.
" Sean!" Ellie shouted surprised.
And then Sean looked over at Orion, "was this a bad time?" he asked.
A/N: Didn't expect to be posting again soon, but I had made notes early on about what I wanted to do with this and decided that this would be a good time, if any, to do the visit, or atleast the beginning. I would like to comment on the unhelpful reviews that simply state " Sean and Elle back together" or some nonsense like that, or the ones bashing the SEmma. I can assure you that I don't have plans of Sean and Emma getting together. The SEmma I was referring to was very minor, and it was just that end moment of Sean's chapter. Sean and Emma are JUST friends, later on Sean may question his feelings, but you'll just have to trust me, I told you all in the first chapter, that you may love or hate me with this, but you have to trust me with what I'm doing...besides this is my story, you do not have to read it if you don't want, but I highly suggest you keep reading if you want to find out what happens.
britneyh8r: I'm sorry you feel that everyone who stops eating has an eating disorder. I tried to establish in this chapter that he's merely depressed. When you're depressed you can either overeat or undereat, and Sean is merely doing the latter. Ellie isn't the only one in that relationship that was struggling. Sean has a lot on his mind right now as well, his sort of ex-girlfriend is in a mental hosptial, he's got Amy up his ass, and just struggling to keep himself clean. Ofcourse there's going to be stress and possibly depression. Have you noticed, I'm not following the show. In this story, Manny and Ash just stay away from each other, and the only "bashing" that happened in AWH was Ellie just calling Manny a boyfriend thief, that's actually the only thing Ellie said to Manny. Head between legs? yes, his legs were bunched up so to speak, imagine this, sitting on a picnic table, leaning forward, head between legs, rest your hands over your neck as if you feel sick...that's what Sean was doing...
J.E.A.R.K.Potter: would you trust me? people these days don't know how to trust a writer when it comes to her own work. I have it all planned out, it's just not written yet...I promise in the end you and everyone else will be happy.
Arthur! get my mom to mail me some cous cous, especially the kind that smell like your deli...(only mentioning that because I know you're secretly reading this)