Encore
Sean stood in a stunned state as Ellie leaped off the bed, and threw herself at Sean, wrapping her arms tight around his broad torso. The smile on her face slowly faltered as she realized Sean wasn't hugging her back. She pulled back and noticed the tension in his eyes as he gazed at Orion sitting on her bed. Ellie grabbed Sean's hand and drug him over to Orion and smiled as she introduced them, " Sean this is Orion James, Orion this is…"
"the Sean we've all heard so much about" Orion finished and stuck his hand out to shake. Sean attempted to smile, but wasn't sure if it was safe to. 'When will it be safe to smile about my sorta ex-girlfriend sorta not, sitting in a room with another guy?' he asked himself.
Ellie peaked around the door, "who brought you? Did Tracker come?" she asked excitedly.
Sean shook his head.
"Sorry to disappoint Vampy," Jay said stepping into the room. Ellie rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smile. Jay gently pulled off his hat and held it to his chest as he looked around her room, " Love what you've done with the place, is this where you and your roommate trade vampire secrets?"
Alex walked into the room and punched him hard as she heard another voice respond to him with, " unfortunately not, we just have pillow fights in dirty lingerie."
Alex turned to see Verity walk into the room, looking worn and beat.
"Verity, this is well…everyone" Ellie said, her body raked with adrenaline to the point where her excitement had her shaking.
" Hi everyone…" Verity answered and curled up on her bed.
Ellie frowned, slightly worried about everyone and decided it might be best to take the crowd out of the small room. Ellie gave them a small tour that ended in the common room where she finally noticed Emma quietly following in the back. She raised her eyebrows cursing herself for not noticing. " Hi Emma."
Emma finally looked up, awkwardly smiling. How else was she supposed to smile, here she was face to face with the person that her ex-boyfriend and first love was no in love with, in a mental rehabilitation center of all places. " Hi" she answered uneasily.
"Thanks for coming" Ellie answered, "Wow, I really didn't expect visitors, my mom doesn't even visit."
Everyone fell into an awkward silence, sitting frozen in their seat, unsure of what to say to her last remark. Sean just sat nervously watching Ellie, it was obvious to anyone in the room that Sean wanted to get Ellie away to talk, but the only person who took the action to allow it was Orion, "How about I take some of you guys and introduce you to some of the others around here, they're pretty cool, none of them bite…except Jerzy," he laughed, " but not hard." Orion smirked and ushered the others to the dorms and left Ellie and Sean alone in the common room.
"So…" Sean began, unsure of what to say.
" thanks for coming Sean, it means a lot." Ellie nervously shuffled her feet against the floor.
" I'm sorry"
Ellie stopped fidgeting and looked up, a pained expression on her face, " why are you sorry?"
Sean sighed, " I obviously came at a bad time, you looked pretty cozy with your friend."
Ellie felt her heart stop, " look Sean, just because we're on a break doesn't mean I jumped at the chance to get with a random guy that showered me with attention, we're just friends." Sean held back a snort and rolled his eyes, which Ellie chose to ignore. Ellie looked Sean over quietly. He'd lost weight, and the bags under his eyes were a sign that he hadn't been sleeping well. "Are you okay, Sean?"
Sean tried to laugh, "not really, but what can I do…" he said shrugging and standing up, "I don't even know what coming here was supposed to accomplish."
Ellie reached up and grabbed Sean's hand, "then why did you come?" she asked as he looked back down at her.
Sean stared intently at the red-head trying to take all the thoughts swirling in his head as to why he was there, " I came to see you." It was the simplest and the most straightforward answer he could give her. Ellie sighed.
"Why?"
"Because I miss you Ellie" Sean said sitting down taking her hands, " I miss you coming over and helping me with my homework, I miss you helping Tracker cook dinner because he sometimes forgets I don't eat beef, I miss seeing you in school, I just miss you." His eyes burned, he didn't cry, instead his eyes burned. " Come home, Ellie."
"it's not that easy Sean…I can't just come home." Sean felt his blood boil, is it that boy? Is that why she's staying? Are there others? Does she hate me? Thoughts flooded his head and he wasn't sure what to think. " I am here until they say I can go." Ellie struggled to explain, " Do you think it's so easy for me being here?" Ellie argued. She was beginning to get frustrated with explaining herself to him, " I'm away from you, Marco, Ashley, everyone and there's nothing I can do about except deal with it."
" So you're basically just tell me to suck it up and forget about you?"
" No, Sean, I'm telling you that you need to go back home and pick up where we left off, like I'm just on some vacation or something. Hang out with your friends, go to class, just be normal…"
"It's not easy going back to the way things were, Ellie I'm lost" Sean said slowly getting angry with himself and the situation, "I don't eat, I don't sleep, I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm confused."
Ellie pressed her lips together and breathed in slowly. She was unsure of how to answer him. Sometimes she felt the same way and even in the event of that situation, she didn't know how to handle herself, let alone give advice on how to help someone else. "Maybe you should see Ms. Sauve."
"I have been."
Ellie seemed almost surprised by his answer, "well that's a start."
Sean smiled, "Tracker got promoted…and took up more hours, we might be moving into a better apartment."
Ellie shrieked in delight with the news, " I'm so happy for you guys, you deserve it, he deserves it." Ellie missed Tracker just as much, if not more than Sean. It wasn't as if Ellie were interested in Tracker for her to miss him more, but Tracker was her confidante. He was there no matter what, and he understood her more than anyone else seemed to in the small Toronto town. He was the older brother she wish she had. "Why didn't Tracker come?" she asked, thinking about it aloud.
" He actually doesn't even know I'm here…" Sean answered, " I really just wanted to see you on my own…"
" and you brought Alex, Jay, and Emma?"
" Well Jay was my ride…so Alex coming was a given and Emma…"
" Emma what?"
" Emma was the one that convinced me to come," Sean answered, finding his answer just as pathetic as Ellie felt it was. It hurt her to know that Sean had to be convinced to come visit her.
"Why did you need to be convinced?"
" Because I assumed that it'd be like one of those terrible places, and I didn't want to see you miserable. Emma convinced me that if anything would help you get better, and to make me less depressed, it was visiting you."
Ellie smiled.
"You're everything to me Ellie…"
Ellie blushed, "I love you Sean," she said smiling and shaking her head lightly, "what ever happened to us."
"Nothing did Ellie…we just had to focus on other things before we could focus on being together."
Ellie smiled faintly, " was it a right decision on our part?"
"sometimes I don't know" he answered, "but I don't regret it, I didn't know how I could help you, if I couldn't even help myself."
Ellie nodded.
"I haven't had a drink in a few weeks."
Ellie smiled, "I'm proud of you."
"Proud of who?"
Ellie turned around and saw Orion standing there with Alex, Jay, Emma, Jerzy, and Max. Ellie smiled, "of Sean." She said beaming as Sean blushed. The group sat down and discussed what Ellie was missing as the school year was closing out. And as they were leaving Ellie stopped Sean and pulled him into a hug. " Don't hesitate to come back."
Sean smiled faintly and hugged her tight, "don't hate me if don't come back…I don't want to be here unless it's to bring you home."
Ellie smiled understandingly and returned to her room to find Verity in the same place she had left her. "Hey Ver…you okay?" Ellie walked over and sat on the end of Verity bed and gently rubbed the girl's back. Verity rolled over her eyes red from crying.
"I can't do this anymore Ellie." Ellie stayed silent, unsure of what to say to comfort her roommate, " I'm huge, I can't handle eating, I hate it, I can't handle the sessions, I can't handle living…" Verity curled up tighter on her bed and Ellie pulled her head into her lap and gently stroked the girl's hair.
" Do you want me to get Dr. Mo or Bronsen?" Ellie asked.
Verity shook her head, "they'll just make me talk…and I don't know what to say, I don't know what's wrong Ellie, I just want to disappear…maybe if I make myself thin enough I'll fade away…"
Ellie respected her roommate's decision and continued to comfort her until dinner.
-X-
Dinner was unusually quiet. Verity just sat in front of her tray and swirled her food around neglecting to eat. Jerzy watched her. He learned to watch people very carefully. He noticed her eyes, the red puffiness that surrounded them. Her eyes looked bloodshot and raw from salty tears and vigorous rubbing. He noticed the way she stared at her food. She was trying not to eat again, and it scared him. He watched as she spooned a small mouthful of mashed potatoes into her mouth and consumed them with a look of disgust on her face. She hated being forced to eat.
Nurses walked by to make sure those that should be eating, were eating. Verity ate her forced amounts of her serving she was required to eat and pushed her tray away and rested her head on the table. Jerzy leaned over to Ellie and nudged her, "She okay?"
Ellie bit her lip and weakly shrugged, "I'm not sure, she doesn't want to talk to Dr.Mo or Bronsen, doesn't want to go to group, I don't think she cares of she loses her privileges either."
Jerzy frowned, " do you mind if I stop by your room tonight to talk to her?"
Ellie shook her head, "if you think it'll help, be my guest…"
Jerzy nodded and turned back to his dinner, casually looking up to watch Verity, who looked like she would burst into tears at any moment.
Ellie relaxed as the limelight was drawn away from her and Jerzy placed it on Verity for a short moment in time. It was very rare that visitors graced Lake View's halls. It was probably the negative connotation that people got because of why patients were there in the first place. When four people show up to see one person everyone's dying to know who cares enough to visit one person and who the lucky person was.
"Heard Ellie got some visitors today" Jane muttered sweetly, the way she nervously twitched her fingers you could tell she was dying for a cigarette.
Ellie blushed, " just some friends from school."
" I heard one of them was your ex boyfriend who brought his ex-ex girlfriend" Leslie said, hoping to get a juicy answer.
" Yea, Sean brought Emma…cause they are friends…" Ellie answered.
" Oh…" Leslie responded unimpressed and disappointed.
" So how was it seeing Sean?" Max asked.
" It was…good" Ellie answered stirring her food around, " we talked and stuff"
" And stuff?" Leslie asked intrigued.
" Just about possibly getting back together when I'm out of here" Ellie said beaming. Jane and Leslie seemed delighted for her. Max looked over at Orion who sat uncomfortably through the conversation. It was obvious that Orion felt he had a strong connection to Ellie and that the talk of Ellie being with someone else tore him up, little by little inside. But what was the point? After all he was leaving in a few days and Ellie? She was staying. Max could read it in Orion's eyes, "People like us don't belong together" It almost broke Max's heart to see one of his friend's in such a state of emotional heartbreak. It was at that moment that Max decided that he would risk one person's potential happiness to make someone else happy…hooking up Ellie and Orion was going to be tough thing to do, but if it could possible make two people happy, which he felt it would, at least for a small moment in time, then so be it.
-X-
" You okay?" Jerzy asked, walking Verity back to her room. The two had never been close, but it never crossed anyone's mind not to notice or care when things were obviously not going well for each other. Lake View Hospital seemed to bring the strangest of people together to care. You were lucky if you got sent there, not many people put forth such an effort to care about each other's well being, let alone the doctors caring enough about their patients the way they do. Inside Lake View's walls you were no different from the anorexic girl down the hall, You were an equal, and it was easy to bond with someone of similar equality to you, and it was easy to care.
Verity laid on her bed, and looked over at Jerzy and faintly smiled, "as good as I can get."
Jerzy rolled his eyes, "You've been here almost as long as I have, you were in here during my first few months of withdrawl, you were here when I came back, you know me…I know you."
Verity sat up and made room for Jerzy to sit, " You know me?" she asked, " they please tell me what's wrong, because I sure as hell don't know anything."
Jerzy frowned and sat on the bed next to her and threw a comforting arm around her shoulders and gently rubbed her arm.
" I just want to lose weight until there is nothing left of me…I'm not anorexic because I want to lose weight, I'm anorexic because I want to die, Jerzy."
Jerzy stared at her, he wasn't sure what to say, she never said things like this in group. Without even thinking he pulled her close and tight and just held her as she burst into tears. Her voice became muffled as she cried into Jerzy's chest, explaining how her anorexia became her very slow suicide, and how she truly hated being forced to live.
Ellie peered into the room, and saw the two in a tight hug, not wanting to intercede on the two she slowly turned to make her way to the common room when the floor creaked and Verity's head popped up and Ellie melted as she noticed Verity's blood shot, swollen red eyes. "Ellie," Verity croaked, saying nothing else the tearstained girl pulled away from Jerzy and held out her arms. Ellie rushed into the room took Verity into her arms, and helped her new friend to soothe her troubled roommate and friend.
" How about a 'Purge Party'" Ellie suggested. Verity perked up, her eyes showing utter confusion as Jerzy frowned, " Let's purge all this negative energy out of your system, we'll all do it."
Jerzy smiled, " nice idea…"
Verity was at a lack for words and smiled warmly as her friends tried to cheer her up. But deep inside she wasn't sure if anything could save her now. " Sure," she agreed, " how about tomorrow night."
Ellie went to sleep that feeling good with herself. Tomorrow night they'd take care of what ever was bugging Verity to the point of her tears falling down her cheeks.
-X-
Ellie tapped her pencil as she sat at the computer d-mailing her assignments to her teachers and downloading a mix of songs to burn for the Purge Party that night. She looked over the play list she'd created and laughed to herself. There was so much cheesy pop music it made her roll her eyes. She blended enough music together on a few CD's to keep everyone happy. Pressing the eject button on the computer she took the last mix CD and put it with the others before logging off the computer. She threw her school bag over her shoulder and slipped the CD's inside before returning her pass to the reception desk.
" How's the music?" Orion asked walking beside Ellie as she made her way to the kitchen to see if she could convince the cooks to spare some party food.
"Cheesy, happy, and too nauseating for my taste, but it should brighten everyone's mood."
Orion laughed, " sounds too perfect." Ellie blushed." So…"
" So?..." Ellie asked, waiting for Orion to finish his sentence.
" Well how did your time with Sean go last night…?"
"Oh…it went well," Ellie answered, "just tying up our loose ends."
Orion nodded.
Silence. There was always some awkward silence in the worst place and at the worst time.
"What can I help you with dears?"
Ellie and Orion looked over at the cafeteria cook who'd just interrupted the awkward silence. Ellie pulled a notebook from her pocket and went over the list of food items that she hoped she could get.
-X-
Verity stood in the corner of her and Ellie's room, snacking on a carrot stick. She missed eating at dinner, well not really missed dinner. She ate, spooning the food into her mouth she would pretend to chew and then hid the small portions under her tongue and fake swallow before spitting her food into a napkin while the nurses were preoccupied with other patients. 'This will be the only thing I eat tonight' she thought to herself. She looked around the room everyone seemed to be having fun. Ellie had really pulled this all together quickly and successfully.
She tried to stifle a laugh as she looked across the room and found Jerzy, Leslie, and Jane dancing to some terrible pop song. Verity laughed harder as she realized she actually owned the CD from where it came from.
"Feeling good?" Ellie asked.
Verity turned to her friend and smiled, "a bit, thanks" she said hugging Ellie tightly.
Suddenly the music turned off and someone shrieked, "KARAOKE!" Ellie and Verity both groaned but knew there was nothing they could do to get people to stop singing terrible pop hits from decades before to the present.
"It's tearin' up my heart…when I'm with you"
Ellie and Verity turned to look at each other before laughing as they recognized Jerzy's voice.
"But when we are apart I feel it too, and no matter what I do I feel the paaain, with or with out you."
The two girls pushed themselves to the front of the crowd and found Jerzy fronting the band with Max, Orion, and two other boys that Ellie had met but not recognized. They couldn't help but laugh, as the music continued.
Max burst to the front-man spot and started singing, "Baby I don't understand…" he said he walked over to Verity and pulled her into a hug, while singing into a mic, "Just why we can't be lovers, things are getting' out of hand." Max pulled off an awesome dance move before belting out the last line of the verse, " Tryin' too much but baby we can win!"
Orion moved to the front and sang while looking directly into Ellie's eyes, "Let it go…if you want me girl let me know." He dropped to his knees, looking up at Ellie who was starting to flush red, "I am down on my knees, I can't take it anymore!" he quickly jumped to his feet and joined in with the other boys who had somehow choreographed dance moves to go along with the obviously pre-planned karaoke attack.
"It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you!" Jerzy sang out.
"But when we are apart I feel it too" Max belted.
" And no matter what I do I feel the pain" Orion belted out before everyone joined in with the last line of the chorus," with our without you."
When the song ended it was exposed that they were both laughing so hard that they were crying. The girls enveloped Max, Orion, and Jerzy into a massive hug and suddenly they heard Leslie's voice through the speakers, "So, what am I not supposed to have an opinion?" Ellie smirked.
"Should I keep quiet just because I'm a woman?" Jane sang out.
Verity couldn't help it, from the crowd she sang out the third line of the verse, " Call me a bitch 'cause I speak what's on my mind"
Ellie stepped back and watched as Verity moved through the crowd over to where Leslie and Jane were singing, "Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled." Leslie and Jane smiled as Verity stood in front of them and beckoned her to come join them.
Leslie sang through the first verse alone and Jane and Verity backed her up on the chorus, "This if for my girls all around the world…Who have come across a man that don't respect your worth. Thinkin' all woman should be seen not heard. So what do we do girls—Shout louder! Lettin 'em know we're gonna stand our ground so lift your hands high and wave 'em proud take a deep breath and say it loud never can, never will can't hold us down!"
Ellie stood beside Jerzy and Max and in front of Orion who had placed his hands on his shoulders as they watched the girls belt out the lyrics to the song. They were taken aback when they heard Jane's voice spill out the lines usually voiced by Lil' Kim. "Didn't know Jane could rap" Orion stated.
"Didn't know Jane knew the lyrics," Jerzy laughed.
By the end of the night it seemed the Purge Party had worked out. In the midst of the cheesy pop music and the snacks people actually felt comfortable enough to spill what's been wrong. Verity as well had even admitted that she felt a bit relieved, but inside she was still a mess. She wasn't sure if anything could help her.
A/N: Sorry it's been so long. I apologize. But I have been very busy, I don't get the summers off from school. I'm always in class, and when I'm not, I'm catching up with sleep. I try my hardest to write a little bit every chance I get. So please bare with me as I make it through this story. Also, the lyrics that the boys were singing was NSYNC's Tearin' Up My Heart and the girls sang Christina Aguilera's Can't Hold Us Down.
Thanks to all of you who have been sticking with me while I've been slacking in the update department. I truly do apologize for not keeping up as well as I've hoped...