Yeah, I was lazy today even though I've had the start of Xaldin's since yesterday. Sorry 'bout that. Anyway…
Thinking
Writing
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Dear Diary…
No…
Dear Journal…
No, that doesn't work either…
Hey, Journal! How's it hangin'?
Light, I'm bad at this… I can't even write my thoughts down in a dai-- journal apparently.
I shut the da--… book and leaned back in my chair cursing Vexen for convincing me to get a journal.
It will help me relieve stress, huh? It just seems to be causing me more… Stupid inner monologue.
I sighed. Oh well, I can always stick one of my spears through something if I want to feel better.
There was a knock on my door, "Xaldin?"
"Yeah, Lexaeus?"
"Aren't you supposed to be cooking now?"
"Oh… yes…" I got up and opened the door, "Yeah, I have to do that. Thanks for reminding me."
"No problem," he started to walk away.
I don't see why I have to cook. So I can slice and dice several things at a time, big deal! Doesn't mean anything I make will be good…
"Uh, Xaldin?" Lexaeus had reappeared at my side.
I satrted.
How can such a big man move like that?
"…yes?"
"Are you going to make dessert?"
"Probably…"
"Could you make some… um… cheesecake?"
I gave Lexaeus a wide-eyed stare, "You want cheesecake?"
"Yes."
I blinked.
He coughed.
"Yeah, alright," I sighed.
He smiled a little and went on his (merry) way.
I didn't know he liked cheesecake. Well, for his next un-birthday I'll get him a gift card to the Cheesecake Factory. (Un-birthday! Get it? 'Cause they don't exist! And Alice and Wonderland! … DON'T HURT ME!) Why is the kitchen on the bloody bottom floor? Burn Xemnas and his stupid designing skills!
When I finally got down to the bottom floor I heard Luxord saying something about his… underwear?
Muttering, "I've got to see this," I ran over to the kitchen, flung open the doors, and witnessed one of the most disturbing things I've seen Luxord do.
Luxord was standing on the table, with Larxene, Vexen, Axel, and Roxas all around it, and he was singing. Singing badly, I might add.
"I'm NOT wearing underwear today! No, I'm not wearing underwear today! NOT that you probably care! MUCH about my underwear! Still, nonetheless, I've got saaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy! That
I'm Not Wearing Underwear To-Daaaaaaaaayyyyy!"
Luxord struck a pose. There was some sparse clapping and then, "Get a job!" from Larxene.
"Thank you! …Larxene!" (Avenue Q is teh roxx0rz)
Walking up to them I added, "Yes, that was great, Luxord, did you lose a bet?"
He got off the table and shook his head, "No, I'm drunk."
"Ah."
"Man, Xaldin, you just had to come in here and ruin our-- er… Luxord's fun!" Axel fake whined.
"Yes. Yes I did. Now, out, the lot of you, I have to make dinner."
"'Bout time! I'm starving," Roxas moaned.
"Well, the faster you leave, the faster you'll eat." I lectured. (Holy crap, Xaldin's the mom! XD That makes Xiggy the dad! Why? Because I said so!)
After they had left, I started cooking.
What's easy to make that everybody likes… Macaroni & Cheese! (DUUUHHHH!)
TIMES PASSES…
Heck, while we're waiting for Mummy Xaldin to make his chillin's some Mac & Cheese and cheesecake, you could go to the bathroom! Or, get something to eat!
No?
…
THAT'S IT! Gimmie 20, peasant!
…
That's better!
ANYWAY…
You know, I should really get one of those triangles…
I took a deep breath, held it for a second, then screamed, "DINNER!"
The effect was instantaneous. Everyone managed to wander into the kitchen and grab a bowl. But… then they wandered off again except Lexeaus who thanked me for making the cheesecake then ran off.
I was left alone in the kitchen. All of the bowls were gone… the utensils… everything! I felt like a flood victim… It all happened so fayast! Guess I'll rebuild or… somethin'.
I sighed.
Rebuild indeed…
I decided to go and hunt someone down and get them to clean with me.
Larxene can clean, right? No… I can see her breaking a bowl if the food didn't come off quick enough… Maybe… Roxas! Yeah, Roxas will help me! He's the newbie, he has too! (n00b)
I found Roxas hanging around with Axel in one of the random empty rooms. It seems Axel was giving weird messages to the poor boy.
"Say, Roxas…" Axel began.
"Yeah?"
"I have this… this friend."
"Uh-huh…"
"And he… likes his friend…"
"Likes?"
"You know… likes."
"Ooh," Roxas nodded.
"So… what do you think he should do?"
"He likes his friend, so what?"
"No, you don't understand. His friend's a boy."
"Ooooooh…"
I didn't want Roxas to be traumatized this early in his nonexistence, and I needed him to help me ASAP, so I stepped in.
"Roxas!"
He turned to face me, "Xaldin?"
Axel glared at me, obviously ready to confess to Roxas allllabout his "friend".
"Yeah, um, I need you in the kitchen."
"Why?" He and Axel asked at the same time.
"To help me clean."
They looked at each other.
"Alright, Xaldin."
Axel mumbled a string of oaths under his breath.
Roxas got up, I turned, walked to the door, and Roxas followed suit.
When we got there a group of flies had gathered in the sink where the others had put their bowls…
At least they brought them back…
Roxas gasped, "I didn't know a bunch of people, forsaken by both the dark and the light, could be so messy!"
"Mind blowing, isn't it?"
"Mind blowing?" Roxas scoffed, "Just how old are you anyways?"
Light, I see Axel's gotten to him already.
"Just be quiet and clean."
Roxas giggled, "chill out, man."
"Do you want me to kill you? Because I can." A bad threat, I know, but… he's so annoying!
Geeze, stupid Axel and his stupid influence… and his stupid hair... and his stupid--
"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine," Roxas said in that teenager-y way.
Scrub… wipe… rinse… No, soap THEN rinse, stupid… soap… rinse… dry…
"DONE!" Roxas and I exclaimed.
"My back hurts!" Roxas whined.
"Yeah, that's what you're mom said last night!" I retorted.
Blood and ashes, I've been hanging around Xigbar too long.
Pause.
"That was sad."
"Yeah it was."
III III III III III III III III III III III III III III III III III III III III III III III
P84: Wow… ok… what a bad place to end it...
Zexion: Why am I here again?
P84: I don't know… you're good to rant with.
Zexion: Oh, lovely.
P84: Yes indeed. Now, I'm a rabid yaoi fangirl so there will be hints at my fav pairings like, Demyx/Xigbar... and Roxas/Axel...
Zexion: Hints? That Axel thing was a full blown--
P84: Yeah, but he totally gave it away in the game.
Zexion: I wouldn't know.
P84: Oh yeah, huh? Well, just to alert you all, I like almost all of the Orgy 13 EXCEPT Xemnas, Xaldin, Roxas (whiny little--), and Axel.
KH2 fans everywhere: AXEL?
P84: I know. I'm scared, too. I don't know WHY... I just DON'T anymore. 'Nyway… VEXEN'S NEXT! WH00T! And thank you for the reviews, my humble peasants! I mean, fans! 8D