Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy) in this story. All of these graphics belong to Square-Enix!

Warning: Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, male/male relationships, gay, homosexual... whatever you want to call it. Oh, and split personality disorder..

Author's Note: Okay, I think I need to clear up a few things here. First off, I don't tell the time for each memory or dream that happens because I like it to be confusing. If you pay attention, Sora is staying at the mental institute and, of course, he's not allowed outside without a nurse or something. But, I can understand the confusion with the whole 'you said Roxas was alive and here you killed him, so... when did this scene take place?'. Yes, I know what I said. Yes, I did it on purpose. Yes, the Roxas/Axel dual death scene happened before Cloud and Sora left their parent's house and went to stay with Squall. So, there you have it.

Now, in this chapter, we see a bit of the truth seeping out from the cracks in the wall of confusion.

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Pachinko

9

ChApTeR: nInE

9

"I don't like you." Sora was sitting on his bed, his knees pulled close to his chest, his face contorted into a pout. He was sitting as far away from Roxas as he could.. He couldn't boss Roxas around like he could Kairi.. He couldn't intimidate or seduce the blond and it made him nervous.

A cold laugh left his lips and smiled, almost like Sora's father used to. The brunet shivered, the hair on the back of his neck raising at the look on his nurse's face. Roxas was always unkind to him.. Bringing him cold soup or forcing food down his throat when Sora refused to eat. He was rough and ruthless and the brunet couldn't tell anyone.. No one believed him. Not after the way he treated Kairi..

"I don't like you either." Roxas had a sneer on his face, a look that didn't compliment his features at all.

"Then why are you here!" Sora was shaking and he felt things in his brain rattle. His vision was shaking as if someone had taken his head off of his shoulders and was shaking it about. A headache suddenly overcame him and he glared, trying to stop the rattling. There was so much noise...

And yet, he neglected to tell Riku this. Riku... Riku cared.

"I know, you know.." Roxas was sitting in a chair now, far away from Sora's bed. He crossed his legs and placed both hands on top of his kneecap, a smile on his features. He looked wild, crazy. "About you and Riku.."

Sora's flushed and swallowed hard, looking down and off to the side. It had to be a bluff. "I don't know what you're talking about. I want you to leave!" he grabbed the pillow and violently threw the stuffed object at Roxas who caught it with one hand. He was quick. It scared Sora. It didn't even look like the blond had moved.

"Oh, come off it, Sora.. Your face gives you away. The way you flushed.." Roxas licked his lips, "Riku.. You think he cares, don't you? And he hasn't told anyone, has he? It explains your behavior.. One minute you're a time bomb ready to blow and the next you're weak and tired. That dumb dazed look on your face after you've been with him.." his smile widened and as his cheeks lifted to fit the large grin, it sounded like leather rubbing leather. Or, that's what Sora had heard. A leather smile.

"Shut up!" he looked for something else to throw and when he found nothing, he cowered. "What do you know, Roxas? What do you do, watch him? Watch me?" fear was in his voice and he wasn't sure why. Sora couldn't get Roxas to bend to his will.. He couldn't get Roxas to back down. Didn't he remember? He didn't he know? Sora was crazy.

"I'm your nurse. I'm supposed to watch you.. And Riku, he hired me.." his smile faded and he almost looked human. "It's been two months.. Two months since you last talked to Kairi.. Two months since you've seen Cloud.. He hasn't come in for his daily visits.. He stopped seeing Dr. Gainsborough.."

Sora swallowed hard, feeling a lump swell up in his throat. Cloud.. He wished he hadn't thrown the pillow.. He wanted to hug it to his chest. He wanted Riku.. Someone to hold him, pet him, love him like Cloud used to.. Why hadn't he come? Why?

"Here." Roxas was suddenly in front of him, giving him back his pillow, like he knew Sora's inner want. "If you throw it at me again, I'll break your arm."

The brunet glared and snatched the pillow away, not liking the threat at all. Roxas wasn't human.. "I can throw with both arms." he held the pillow against his chest looking small and childish and mean.

"Then I guess I'll break both your arms."

And that threat sounded real.

"Now... are you going to be a good boy and repay me? Or am I going to have to expose your secret and Riku's secret?" Roxas grinned.

"Repay you for what?"

A harsh slap had crossed Sora's cheek. Hard enough to knock him down on his bed. He sat straight back up, stunned, only to receive another slap on his other cheek, this one not as hard. When the brunet finally did look at Roxas... the blond had fury and anger and hurt in his eyes and Sora... he didn't understand why. What had he done that was so bad? He didn't know who Roxas was. What he was.

Without another word, the blond turned and walked to the door. Before he left, he turned, eyed Sora and grinned. Again, that leather rubbing leather sound came to his ears, "If you tell anyone about this.. I'll hurt you, Cloud, and Riku in more ways than you can think of. And that's a promise." and then he walked out, slamming the door harshly behind him.

The brunet could no longer hold it in. He hugged his knees close to his chest and began to cry. Not because of the slaps. They burned and he could feel the heat from them, but... that's not what he was crying about. Riku.. Cloud.. Everything Roxas had said. It all bothered him. Where was his brother? Why hadn't he visited? And as soon as he stopped visiting.. Why had Riku taken such a sudden interest in him? Because Sora had seduced him once?

He looked at the pillow, tears still flowing down his cheeks. Stupid Roxas.. He grasped the pillow and looked around for something sharp and when he found nothing, no windows to break, no mirrors to smash, no pens, pencils, scissors, or knives, he cried out and began to beat the pillow with his fists until they were red and burned. And by then, all the feathers had been punched out of the pillow.

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"Sora." Riku walked into his patient's room, opening the door to find the brunet curled up on the bed, his dead pillow being left on the floor. It had been two or three hours since his talk with Roxas and the brunet couldn't help but feel he was being treated like a child in timeout.

"Sora.." the doctor walked over and rubbed the boy's shoulder, shaking him out of his fake sleep. He didn't want to see Riku, but he wanted to.. His stomach burned and as soon as the man had touched his shoulder, Sora had sat straight up and flung his arms about the man's neck, hugging him close.

"Well, hello to you too.." he squeezed the brunet close to his body, glad to feel the warmth of another human being. "Your face is red.. Your eyes are puffy.. Have you been crying, Sora?" the brunet had his face buried against Riku's shoulder, his body shaking slightly and he didn't answer. Riku frowned.

He grasped Sora's shoulders and pushed the other boy onto the bed, forcing him to sit. Riku took a seat right next to him. An arm snaked around the brunet's shoulder and he immediately responded, nuzzling and clinging to the male doctor, feeling completely helpless and lost..

"Riku.." his voice was soft and he buried his face against the man's side.

"Have you been crying, Sora?"

"No."

"Sora..."

"Yes.."

The silver haired man sighed and rubbed the brunet's side, squeezing his waist, and forcing him to squirm. "Why? What's bothering you? I'm your doctor.." it was hesitant, but he pushed Sora down on the bed, holding the boy's shoulders down and crawling on top of him, "and your lover.. Tell me what's been bothering you."

Sora eyed the man on top of him and swallowed harshly, "Roxas.. Cloud.. You.. Cloud.. He hasn't visited me like he always does and you... I don't understand. I'm strange.. I.." his voice choked, "you're my other personality.. I get hiccups - Riku hiccups - where we'll just switch on and off, on and off and.." he took a shaky breath, "I don't understand.."

Riku cocked his head to one side, "What's not to understand..? I like you.." he leaned forward, kissing his patient on the lips. It was, perhaps, the softest, most delicate kiss Sora had ever received. It was short, a peck, but the brunet could already feel that his whole body was hot and ready for more.

"No, I..." he didn't know how to put his thoughts into words.. Yes, he understood Riku liked him and he liked Riku back.. But how did Roxas find out? Why did Riku like him? And why had the Riku inside of him become suddenly calm and almost at peace.. Occasionally having conversations with Sora or sitting with him on the bed, stroking his hair and whispering things Cloud used to say into his ears..

"Cloud loves you, Sora.. Don't doubt his love for you. You two had something strong and I doubt he's just throwing it all away. He might be busy.. He has a life too.." Riku smiled gently, but Sora couldn't be comforted. He felt patronized.

"I'm part of his life, Riku!" tears were in his eyes again and he wiggled underneath the doctor who allowed Sora to move his arms. "He could call.. Or visit.. Why has he stopped seeing Dr. Gainsborough?" his voice was small, weak, just like how he felt.

"Who told you that?" Riku frowned and moved his hand to Sora's cheek, to wipe away some of the tears. "He stopped seeing her a while ago, way before he stopped visiting. I'll give him a call, Sora, if you want.. I'll tell him he misses you and ask him what's going on, okay?" he gave a small smile and the brunet needed, feeling only a little bit better.

Riku smiled fully at the nod, "I'll let you talk to him, if you want.." and that made Sora feel much better. Just to hear his brother's voice.. Even that would be enough. He just needed a small piece of Cloud. He.. He still loved the man. He wouldn't let him go.

"Now, my little afternoon delight.." the doctor had allowed his hands to wander into Sora's shirt, to feel his skinny body, to run his fingers over his belly-button, his ribs, his nipples, his collar-bone. "How do you feel now?"

Sora stroked one of Riku's arms, "Better.." he paused, wondering if he should bring up Roxas or not. The threat echoed in his mind and a shiver shot down his spine. Roxas could wait.. This couldn't. This couldn't wait another moment longer.

Riku positioned his knee so it was between Sora's legs, against his groin, and Sora felt like his whole body was blushing. He wrapped his arms around the doctor's neck, bringing him downward for a long, heavy kiss. It was soft, all of Riku's kisses were soft, and it felt good to have such a soft tongue in his mouth.

The doctor stroked the brunet's cheek, his other arm being used to hold himself up as his knee began to move against Sora's groin. The patient flushed, broke the kiss, and blushed harder as Riku found a steady rhythm, rubbing the boy's groin quickly and gently and then slower, but harder.

His back arched, his eyes half-lidded and his arms hung loosely around the doctor's neck. That was what Riku looked for.. He loved it. The look on Sora's face when he was being pleasured. Those beautiful, blue eyes half-lidded and almost confused looking, his lips slightly parted to let soft moans escape, and his cheeks always red. Always a bright shade of red when something felt good.

"Ah.." Sora swallowed hard, spreading his legs a bit more as the other rubbed him. He shut his eyes, bringing the doctor downward to hug him close and then he let his arms fall a bit limp.

Riku eyed his patient for a moment before going to lick and kiss his neck, being very careful not to stay on the same area for a long time. He could lose his job for this if someone caught him. And leaving a hickey wouldn't be the safest thing to do.

"Riku.." Sora's breath was coming in short pants and his arms tightened around the doctor's neck. It was pleasurable, it made him feel like he was home again.. With Cloud.. In their bed. He bit his lower lip, hard, as the doctor suddenly sunk his teeth into his neck, biting the flesh, almost tearing at it, as his knee rubbed slowly and harshly at the boy's groin.

The brunet licked his suddenly dry lips and arched his back more, finding it harder to relax when he was close. Still, the teeth sunk into his flesh which only added to the pleasure, and after another moment or two, Sora was in complete ecstasy.

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(Gee, I hope I don't get suspended for the por- eeer... sensual writing.)

"Cloud.." Squall walked up behind his husband and wrapped his arms about the man's waist, resting his chin comfortably on the blond's shoulder.. "Cloud, dear.." he let his lips brush the other's ear gently.

They both stood, silently, still, at the tall, wide window in the living room, gazing out at the backyard as the rain poured down almost violently. Thunder boomed throughout the sky and cracks of lightening could be seen. The rain was coming down in heavy, thick drops, and you'd be soaked as soon as you stepped outside.

"I miss him.." the younger of the two placed both of his hands on the arms around his waist, stroking them. "I miss him a lot, Squall.. I gave up everything for him.. Friends, family, possessions, school.." he felt the arms tighten around him and Cloud released a shaky breath from the pit of his stomach.

"I know you miss him, love.." the brunet allowed his lips to brush his husband's neck gently, "visit him. I know Dr. Gainsborough told you not to, but... perhaps phoning the institute would be alright?" Cloud had been sad and depressing since he stopped visiting Sora. "Maybe you should go visit anyway.. Maybe it'll be alright now."

Another shaky breath lift him and he wiggled away from the protective arms. "She said.. Dr. Gainsborough, I mean.. She said that Sora forced my life to be the way it turned out." Squall frowned and Cloud blushed, "I don't mean I'm not happy. I love you, you know that.. But.." he bit his lower lip, trying to pick out his words carefully, "she thinks that maybe... maybe if I had never succumbed to Sora's seductive behavior, I would've gone off to college and had an education, a life.."

Squall felt his heart throb and he turned away, refusing to show the hurt look in his eyes and features. Of course he knew what Cloud meant. It wasn't a stab at his own manliness or his own job or lifestyle..

But if it wasn't that, then what was it?

"Are you unhappy, Cloud?" still, Squall didn't turn around. Cloud shifted, clearly uncomfortable by the question. Unhappy with his husband? No. Unhappy with his life and how it had turned out? Yes. But how could he say that without offending the man he loved?

"Squall.. Look at me." the blond reached forward, wrapping both arms around Squall and yanking him close.

The older man shifted in his lover's arms and sighed deeply, both wrapping the other in a tight embrace. "Do you love me, Cloud?"

"Don't doubt how I feel about you.."

"I won't if you'd just give me a straight answer every once in a while."

Cloud frowned, "I don't mean to shove you out, Squall. I'm not trying to cause problems for us or our relationship. We're married.." he squeezed the other, suddenly looking older, tired. "Why would I marry you if I didn't love you?"

This only made the brunet frown very deeply, "To forget Sora." and he couldn't stop the words, take them back..

Cloud allowed his arms to go limp and he stepped away from Squall, a mixture of hurt and anger in his eyes. Lightening cracked and thunder boomed and the rain just seemed to come down harder, pattering on the roof like small, weak bullets.

"Did Dr. Gainsborough really tell you to stop visiting, or did you just stop it on your own?" Squall walked over to one of the couches in the living room and sat down, the same place Cloud and Squall had sat the first time they kissed each other. "Why are you trying to forget him? Why?" the brunet's voice was almost pleading and it surprised Cloud.

"I'm not! I'm not trying to forget him, I.." he looked away, "why do you care, Squall Leonhart? I'm only trying to forget him for you!"

Squall stood, angry, growling, a deep glare in his eyes, but the rest of his face expressionless. "For me? You still love him, you always will! You will never forget about him, Cloud. You loved him first, you said yourself you gave up everything! And don't you tell me you're forgetting Sora because of me! You're trying to forget him because he hurt you emotionally, Cloud."

The blond felt his cheeks heat and he was breathing quickly, trying to keep his face emotionless, but his eyes were giving away his pain.

"You want to forgive Sora, you want to love him again. You want him to leave the mental institute and come back to you! But you can't! You're just conflicting with yourself, Cloud. You love Sora, you want him to love you, but you also hate him. Hate him for ruining what could've all been taken for your own!" Squall felt the rage inside his body grow and he couldn't stop himself from berating his own husband, "believe what you want, but he was at true fault for the death of your father and the imprisonment of your step father."

The brunet turned and walked to the foyer, grabbing his leather jacket from the hall closet and slinging it about his shoulders. Cloud didn't ask where he was going, didn't tell him to take an umbrella, instead he slid down to the floor, dumbfounded and heartbroken. Squall read him like an open book and yet... he didn't even know what his husband was thinking half the time.

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Author's note: I was going to write more since this chapter is only seven pages... but, I need to save some stuff for the next chapter. Next chapter either might add confusion or reveal more of what's going on. Until then, read this, review, and then go read my other stuff.

Edit: for some reason, has stopped the lines that usually seperate the pieces in my story. Know what I have to say to that? Butt sex me. Now.