A/N : Desperate Housewives makes us... desperate? No. Well gives some of us inspiration to make squees. :D This one is from Allie (evilmistress007) aka Wish Upon A Star of The Incision.

The moron also known as the Shepherds' marriage counselor was suggesting that they spend some "couple-time" together, nothing sex-related involved. What had come as a disappointment to Derek was an inspiration for Addison. She missed the time they used to spend together back in New York, and surprisingly, her idea of fun was mini-golfing surrounded by a bunch of 6 years olds. Well... that's what the marriage counselor suggested. "What a loser" Derek thought, grabbing a club as his wife searched for a scorecard.

"So... are you up to letting me kick your ass?" Addie said smugly, as they began the first round

You can kick my ass in bed any day he thought. His brain wandered off, thinking dirty thoughts, all while surrounded by kids less than half his height. He let Addison win the first time, maybe if he pretended to lose, they could have sex.

His eyes strayed to a young boy, about 4 years old, dig a narrow hole in the dirt and stick his finger in it. He longingly stared, but his fantasy came to an end when he heard the sound of his wife's fingers snapping "Hey Derek, it's your turn"

"Oh!" He quickly snapped back to reality, and bent down to prepare for his shot. Addison put her hand gently on his shoulder.

Derek had a pained look on his face "Honey what's wrong?" she asked, worried

He grimaced "I... we need to do it someplace. Fast"

Addison looked around, horrified. "We can't do it in front of all these little kids!"

"What am I supposed to do?" he shrieked

"Umm... think nasty thoughts!"

"How can I when you're right next to me!" he argued

Thinking quickly, she pushed her husband into a nearby bush. Pulling off her shirt, she surprised Derek.

"You're not wearing a bra..."

"Makes it all faster... shut up and kiss" She ripped his pants off, almost breaking the button. A flock of birds, who were roosting on a nearby tree, quickly flew away when they realized what was happening.

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Half an hour later, they were both satisfied. "Hey... do you feel what I feel?" Derek asked uncomfortably

"If you mean sexed up Derek, then yes, I do" Addison grinned

"No..." he sat up "There's something on my back..."

She almost screamed when she realized what the brown substance on his back was "I hate the outdoors" she muttered

"What's wrong..."

"You got... dog shit on your back!" She was obviously freaked out