Oh, I didn't go to my dad's house this weekend, so here's a chapter. SHOCKING!Oh, hey,know what I just noticed? X3 I'm so pathetic, "Vexen brought out his Rubix Cube. Man, he really likes it. Vexen stared at it, chuckled, and then put it back into his pocket." Vexen was a porpoise, they doesn't HAVE pockets! I suck so bad! XD Anyway, Arlene works, but I like Lerane better. BUT my TRUE opinion will happen in this chapter. PREPARE YOURSELVES! Though, just pretend that Larxene is Laxene. Say it, it's basically the same thing. WHO NEEDS R'S ANYWAY?

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The library. A place for quiet. Oh, and books. Books too. BUT NOT TODAY! Oh, no! Today, my friends, it's time to make fun of Larxene. One of my favorite past times.

"I CHOOSE YOU, PIKACHU!" I yelled, pointing dramatically at Larxene.

Larxene stared at me with a bored expression on her face.

"Come ON, Pikachu! Electrocute Charmander!" I urged her, gesturing at Axel.

"Demyx, what are you--" Larxene started.

"NO! You don't talk like that! You say 'pika!" or 'Lasheen!'" (Larxene is pronounced Lasheen.)

Axel walked up to me, "what's wrong with you, Demyx?"

I scratched the back of my head, "well, I was just at that 'Japan' world, and--"

"Oh, you got high," Larxene nodded understandingly, "all of Japan is on drugs." (I agree. Two words, Katamari Damacy.)

I gave her a confused look, "no, no, I saw an episode of Pokemon!"

Axel groaned, "that show that's like crack for children..."

"That's the one!"

Larxene blinked, "so, Demyx got crack."

"Child crack," Axel corrected, "there's a difference."

"Ah."

"No! You guuuuuys," I whined.

Axel turned to Larxene, "still reading that Sade book?"

Larxene turned an interesting shade of red, "no."

"No?"

"It was... disturbing..."

"You couldn't handle it?"

"Well, it wasn't just hurting people... it more like a Sadist porno..." (Believe me, I did research on the book. Why? I'm a Larxene fan.)

The three of us were silent.

"...you still have it?" Axel asked.

Larxene threw a book at him.

"ANYway..." I tried to start a new conversation. "Hey, Larxene?"

"Hm?"

AH! She's actually is paying attention to me... AND I HAD NOTHING TO SAY! Um... think...

"What do you remember of your Other's life?"

Larxene and Axel looked at me in surprise.

"I...um..." Larxene blinked, "I remember something... about lazy co-workers." She finished lamely.

"Lazy co-workers?" Axel scoffed, "you know, I remember something about a bald guy in sun glasses."

Larxene's eyes widened, "hey! Yeah, I remember him, too!"

I sighed. I've started a conversation between them. Not what I had hoped for, to say the least. Of course, I only remember something about wolves. And a falcon... and a hawk... Just animals, really. (He's Perrin because I SAY SO! Accept it. I've only read the first five of the five books, so, so far he seems a bit like Perrin.)

"Really? Do you remember an annoying co-worker who always tried to make me work? Stupid..."

"Axel..."

"I think it was a girl. She was such a n00b."

"AXel..."

"Whaaaat?"

"I remember being that co-worker."

Silence.

Axel chuckled, "n00b."

Larxene heaved another book at him, "I am going to throw everything I can lay my hands on at you!"

Axel squeaked and hid under the nearest desk.

I turned to Larxene, "what if you find a Bible?"

"Then I will throw it at you, instead of Axel."

"Oh..."

"Well, Light, what do you know?" Larxene smirked picking up a random book, "a Bible!"

I paled, turned tail, and ran.

She galloped after me. "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" She screamed and flung the book at me...

...and it hit me right in the back of my neck.

"WAUGH!" I fell on my face from the force of the blow.

Larxene obviously wasn't expecting this because she fell, too. On top of me.

I grunted and tried to get air back in my lungs. "Larxene! Pl...ease...off..." I managed to choke out.

She sat up. Still on top of me, mind you. "Hm... how about, no?"

I couldn't answer her, I was concentrating on breathing.

"No objections? Good. Because your lower back is rather comfortable."

Pant... pant...

I was able to lift my head up, just enough to see over the carpet, and by doing so I saw Namine's feet coming towards me.

"Larxene?" Namine asked.

Larxene grunted in reply.

"What are you doing to Demyx?"

"I'm sitting on him, can't you tell?"

"I... I see that... but, why?"

"Because he was stupid."

Namine needs new shoes, I noted. I'll tell Marluxia later.

"Stupid, how?" Namine sounded like she was dealing with a three year-old.

"He meddled with my doing away with of Axel."

"Oh."

Namine bent down to look at my face. "Act like you were suffocated." she whispered.

I was confused. Why? ...meh, why not?

"Larxene, I think you've killed him!"

"Good."

"No, really! Get up, you need to check for vitals!"

"What?"

"HE'S NOT BREATHING!"

Now I get it.

"WHAT?" Larxene jumped off me.

I held my breath. I'm good at it, since I spend so much time in the water. I also kept my eyes closed, since I'd be bound to blink.

"Demyx!" Larxene turned me over so I was lying on my back. I hadn't turned blue or anything, but I wasn't breathing.

She shook my shoulders. "D-demyx? Come on, breathe now..."

"I think you may have to give him CPR." Namine said as she walked away.

"WHAT? No way am I giving HIM CPR." (ZOMG, where in the heck did this come from? One minute it's 'the power of Christ COMPELS you', but now it's... all romanticall-ish)

I wonder if she'll actually do it... Naw, that's just not Larxene-like. I took this time to sneak a breath while she wasn't paying attention.

Larxene squeaked. She then took one of her gloves off and checked my pulse. Still beating... She squeaked again.

This is getting old. I should just get up. Wait... she might kill me if she figures out I'm faking. Blood and ashed, I'm trapped! What do I do? (What would YOU do?)

By now, Namine had gathered a couple of people to watch. Of course, they stayed well hidden, thanks to Xigbar's power over gravity, on the ceiling. (Shigbar. XD I found that out reading the Japanese pronunciations.)

Larxene's hand rested on the bottom of my neck. I felt her sweating on me.

I really was turning blue, by now.

Larxene made a strangled noise, opened my mouth, and started to bend towards my face, presumably.

NO WAY! She's gonna actually... SUPER FUN HAPPY TIME BONUS! (Demyx is so mature.)

But, as soon as I felt her breath on my mouth I decided to scare the crap out of her. Right then.Man, she'll be so SCARED! Who cares if she kills me, it'll be worth it!

She came slowly, agonizingly so, closer to me.

I can't take any longer. Must... surprise!

Opened my eyes and tilted my head up, EVER so slightly, "LAR--! Mmph!" (HOLY! I didn't think this would happen! No, seriously. My muses want ROMANCE today, boy!)

Blood and ashes,blood and ashes,blood and ashes,blood and ashes,blood and ashes,blood and ashes,BLOOD AND BLOODY ASHES! Open mouthed, too.

It only lasted a second, though, since Larxene knew that I was fine now. She just didn't react fast enough. Well, and the fact that Namine's group had uttered a collective, "AWWW!" kind of threw her off, also.

Larxene took her mouth off of mine and glared at me.

"You do realize that I'll REALLY have to sit on you now." (She'll sit. WITH A VENGEANCE!)

"No, please! Larxene!" I pleaded.

"Sorry, buddy. This kind of thing deserves punishment. You pervert." She then proceeded to sit on my stomach.

"What? I didn't," gasp, "tell you to preform CP," pant, "R!"

"So? It still happened. I blame for you for this, Demyx."

"It's not" gulp "my fault!"

Larxene grunted.

"The power of Christ compelled me!" I said with one breath.

Larxene grabbed my mullet and pulled.

"OW! LET GO!"

"No."

I decided to surrender. I'll never get out from under her alive if I keep arguing with her. (THAT SOUNDED WRONG! x3)

Xigbar had let everyone down, now. While the rest of the groupwent about their buisness,Namine, Marluxia, and Axel made their way over to where Larxene sat.

"Aw, Larxene, that was so cute!" Axel fake gushed.

"Shut it."

"So... Larxene," Marluxia butted in, "You're a girl?"

The apathetic princess stared at Marluxia.

"Larxene, you and Demyx would make such a good couple!" Namine squealed. " The whole Organization will be talking about this for months!"

Larxene started to get up, "I'LL KILL THE LOT OF YOU!"

YES! YESYESYESYESYESYESYES!

But, alas, she sat back down. This time on my chest. Better, but she still wasn't off me.

"I'll kill you, after I teach Demyx a lesson."

Axel snickered, "kinky."

Gross, Axel!

Larxene grabbed the book she'd hit me withand hit Axel in the nose with it.

"Axel! You're nose is bleeding!" Namine shrieked.

Axel touched his nose, "psh, it was worth it."

I started to wiggle, trying to slide her off.

Larxene suddenly had one of her knives in her hand. She waved it in front of my face. "Look, if you want to keep having your naughty bits, I suggest you stop."

I squeaked. I happened to like those bits!

"That's what I thought."

No... she wouldn't dare. She's a girl, she just wouldn't! I decided to push her off when she wasn't paying attention.

"So, when will you get off of him?" Marluxia asked.

"When he learns his lesson."

"When do you think he'll--?"

"Hours."

I slid my hands under her and pushed her off while I rolled to the side.

"HEY!"

I quickly got up and...

"Run! Run away!"

"DEMYX!"

"I LIVE!"

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L84: I don't know what just happened in that chapter. The sane part of my brain was like WOAH! WHAT THE HECK? While the fangirl part was all DO IT! COME ON, MOST OF YOU'RE FANS ARE GIRLS!

Harold: Yes, that was odd.

L84: If you couldn't tell, Axel was Reno and Larxene was Elena. Remember: Larxene minus the x and the r is Elena! 'Course, I have another theory and you'll see it in her chapter.

Harold: Next is Luxord.

L84: Luxord is TOTALLY Mat. Liek, tewtally. Oh, and yes, I happen to like the Demyx/Larxene pairing. IT'S SO CUTE!

Harold: Sure... cute...

L84: Thanks for the reviews, oh humble peasants!