Pairing: Hatori Sohma/Ayame Sohma

Theme: #2: news; letter / 音沙汰
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, nor its characters.

A/N: Gah, so now we can get rid of the OC who was annoying me. xD; Also, the reunion is impending. I just needed Ayame to hit rock bottom first. D: Silly selfish Hebi. You may have to squint for the kiss, but it's there. Honest. Just covered with so much angst that it's hard to find.

Reality

When the pale man woke up, he heard crumpling next to him, an unfair trade with the blissful feeling of deliciously warm body he had come to expect. Staying the night with Enju had proven more effective as an alarm clock than his skewed biological clock, and once Enju had figured this out for himself, he had forced Ayame to sleep beside him instead of letting him return home at night.

Ayame hated Paris for throwing him off in so many ways. His biological clock, the language, the food… He had given up eating altogether, under loud protest from Enju, who told him he couldn't model if he looked as emaciated as he did now. To Ayame, it didn't matter. He had already felt weak since that night. The trip, the breaking down of the inner walls, the rebuilding of said walls, being alone in a strange country; to Ayame, being tired was just another thing he had to get used to in Paris, like the lack of trees around his store.

Bleary eyes forced themselves open under their owner's lethargic state as lazy fingers grabbed at the source of the crumpling sound. A paper? A note, most likely. That would make sense; Enju had hopefully empathised enough with Ayame's mood swings to write him an apology note for not keeping the bed warm. Ayame promised himself that if it was not an apology letter, the man could forget about him showing up for another very important job. He realised Enju was worried about him sleeping longer and longer, but he just couldn't find the strength, mental or physical, to get up early in the morning. The only thing really putting effort into was Enju's body warmth, really. His own heating system kept shutting down as his fat reserves depleted, and he had felt it better to not appear on any catwalk when he was in such danger of transforming into his Snake alter ego. Besides, his shop had already opened, and he had better things to do now than to parade around on catwalks. Catwalks just weren't as satisfying anymore, as strange as it was for someone as attention-seeking as him to admit. Deciding to ignore the letter until personal hygiene had been taken care of, he got up.

Ayame still hadn't finished unpacking his belongings. He cursed the box he tripped over every morning, before going to brush his teeth and taking a hot shower. He always needed one after mornings with Enju. He felt that under Enju's scent/warmth/taste/bodily fluids, Hatori's were still present, and always would be present. His happiest moment of the day was said shower. He didn't dare take a bath; he feared it he would wash out Hatori's scent as well.

When he exited the shower cabinet, he saw the letter waiting there for him, and noticed it was sealed in an envelope. Ayame wondered about the envelope- it was a strange thing to do, even for a formal letter of apology. Ayame read the address written on the back of the envelope, now vaguely curious.

Hatori's address was scribbled on the back in telltale handwriting. Ayame's hand, as if burned, threw it back on the bed that still had remnants of his night with Enju, and Ayame didn't dare save the poor letter from a fate of stickiness.

When Enju came back to his apartment, he was terribly angry with Ayame for not having shown up. Three hours he'd waited for the man's arrival, but not apparently, mister hotshot designer didn't deem him worthy of even a text message. As soon as he caught sight of the man, emaciated from the lack of food he got past his throat due to a reason Enju still described homesickness, shivering on the bed and staring blankly at the messy sheets, his anger melted away completely and friendly concern took over. Enju quickly walked over with the plan of gathering the man in his arms, but with surprising strength Ayame shook off his arms. With a sigh, Enju sat down on the bed, straightening the sheets to regain some semblance of order back in the bedroom.

"Ayame… I won't hold it against you that you got me in trouble at work, but you're my friend now. So if you could tell me what it is that is bothering you, perhaps I could help?"

Ayame simply shook his head, and crawled over to the agent, burying his head in the other man's chest as if to hide from the unpleasant stare of the letter. It spoke of all kinds of pain, anger, guilt, happiness he was missing out of; nothing good could come from reading it.

A few days later, Ayame finally got over the shock and had gathered enough courage to open the letter. Ayame forced himself to push the idea of Pandora's Box to the back of his head. Slightly trembling fingers took a pair of scissors and carefully cut the envelope, making sure no word written by the doctor was being cut off. He stared in the envelope. Trembling even harder at the sight of so many letters in one envelope, he took them all out. Ayame placed them neatly, still folded, in order. Hatori's scribbling went on top, and Yuki's immaculate handwriting went under Hatori's letter. Then came Shigure, and Mine, as he probably needed something cheerful after reading those first, undoubtedly angry letters directed towards him. After a lot more letters, at the bottom went, to his great surprise, one of Akito. Vaguely amused that Akito would choose to do something so non-threatening, he almost smiled. The vague curling of his lip vanished as his hand took hold of Hatori's letter, and almost against his own will opened it, forcing his eyes to take in what were most likely angry, betrayed words.

"Ayame,

I won't ask you to come back, because it has to be your decision, uninfluenced by my own (probably selfish) desires."

Ayame was forced to pause here, and blink. Alright… Tori probably did not mean the word 'desire's to come across in such a manner. Right. With a wry smile, Ayame continued reading, slightly more positive at the first, kind words the letter consisted of.

"However, everyone misses you very much. You'll be glad to find even Yuki is a little concerned about you."

At these words, Ayame's insides tingled a little in happiness. Yuki missed him? Perhaps his situation within the family was not as direly lost as he had thought. If his brother needed him… maybe it was good enough of a reason to return. Maybe.

"I am experiencing discomfort now that you are gone. Headaches, dizziness, and no matter how often I diagnose myself, I can't find anything wrong. It almost makes me wish that you were here in your ridiculous nurse outfit, taking care of me. Like you claim, nobody ever realises the doctor is unwell.

I am sorry I never realised how you took care of me. I'm sorry I underestimated you, and took you for granted.

Is the lesson over now? I miss you.

Hatori"

After finishing the letter, Ayame felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice-water over him. Hatori was ill? Ayame only knew one reason why he would feel sick, and that was because of him and his damned powers. Only someone as stupid as him would think that using the Dragon's powers on himself was a good idea. Guilt forced away the tingle he felt at the words of Hatori missing him as he shakily grabbed hold of the next letter. Yuki.

"Nii-san.

What were you thinking, going away from the family like that? At first I thought I would be pleased, but when I see what your running away has done to the family, I can't help but feel genuine hatred towards you. Not the uneasiness I usually feel when you're in the same room as me, but genuine hatred. You are so selfish, nii-san. Am I really seeing your true colours now? A selfish man, who cares nothing for his brother and friends?"

Ayame swallowed. He was silly to put such faith in Hatori's letter, but he had hoped Yuki's letter would be a little nice as Hatori had written about Yuki's concern for his wellbeing. The boy sure had a way with words he did not possess in real life; he was direct. Yuki managed to put under words everything Ayame was afraid of: him being selfish, and immature. Was he really all of those things? With a heavy heart, he continued reading.

"If you could see Akito's reaction on your departure and your "fame" that extends to even in Japanese magazines, you would realise that it was a foolish idea. Your vanity threatens to unveil the family secret, and it's making her crankier than usual. Shigure is suffering, and so is Hatori.

And due to Akito- so am I.

I apologise for my harsh words, but perhaps you don't realise how serious things are for us here because you won't accept any calls from us, save for Shigure's, occasionally. I really want you to be happy, nii-san, but this is not the way.

Yuki"

The letters' contents went from bad to worse. Where Hatori's had been kind and gentle, even Shigure's was mainly focussed on the pain he, Ayame, had brought to them and the family. Basically, all the letters described Akito's increasingly foul mood, a tense situation every time he was portrayed in an advert, and above all, Hatori's illness. Ayame now felt worse than ever. He had already realised he had been selfish- terribly selfish, before reading the letters. He had been selfish not to even consider Akito in his plans and simply run away, leaving the others to deal with his mess. Now, after reading the letters, he felt exceptionally selfish, to simply ignore the power Akito had over the people he cared about.

"Hatori…" The simple name finally hit home for Ayame. He was so far away from Hatori and everyone else, the other end of the world, give or take a few miles. Even if he had wanted to avoid an awkward morning after, the pain he had given everyone else because of his rash decision was indescribable. Why was it for him to decide that the family suffering was worth saving him a broken heart?

And his heart hadn't even remained unbroken. Reading Hatori's letter had proven this. Of course, the man had downplayed his own pains and sickness, but it became apparent in the other letters that Hatori was feeling very poorly.

Tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes, something Ayame was not aware of until he felt something wet dripping on his hand onto the letters. Ayame gasped; it was highly unusual for him to cry real tears, as opposed to the drama queen tears he usually performed. He quickly brushed away the proof of his broken heart off of his cheeks, and kissed the tears from Hatori's letter. Then he started writing his own letter. It was to be an apology letter to Hatori, for all the things he did, and all the things he was doing now, and all the things he was going to do. Ayame knew he would never send it.

The Hebi knew he was bad for Hatori- he always had been. For a while, he had thought that Hatori had had the right idea, marrying Kana, someone uncomplicated. He could not let Hatori suffer physical pain. He was too weak, too shattered, to handle that kind of knowledge. He didn't want to be another Akito to the doctor, always causing him physical pain. He would have to cancel the effect… somehow.

It was time to make Hatori remember, no matter what pain could be caused by the truth. Dazed by his moment of clarity, Ayame picked up the phone as he dropped the pen from the unfinished letter. He was too tired to even crawl to bed anymore, let alone write. With shaky hands, he held the phone as it waited for a reply from the other side of the line.

"Hello, Yuki-san? Would you call 'Gure, and come pick me up? I really can't return by myself… You see, I'm a bit under the weather myself."

Enju couldn't help but overhear the conversation on the other side of the wall, and smiled. Giving Shigure his address had helped to save Ayame, after all.