Getting there

part 4

The suits as Blair called them arrived shortly after. Neat, officious, and clone like they declined tea or coffee. Straight to business. Jim appreciated that.

There wasn't that much to tell anyway. Jim knew their piece of the puzzle could be the bit to turn an investigation around, but it wasn't likely.

The corner shop had a case of beer on special offer; he'd been tired, rushed, and in need of liquid solace. Which lead to an explanation of how he'd come by his injuries- they'd politely not asked before. Jim was sure they'd run a background check on him anyway and knew he was on sick leave. What meds had he taken and when and what time had he woken up today? How did he feel now? Fine, thank you. Blair chipped in to confirm things Jim said or to repeat what he'd already told them. Not that the FBI were suspicious of them, they were just double checking the facts.

"That's all for now. If you come across any more of this beer elsewhere in the city or anywhere, inform us please. Here's our card. Thanks for your time sir and, Mr Sandburg I guess you'll be at here for a day or two before going back on duty?"

"Actually, we'll be out of town for a few days."

"Oh. Why's that?" the FBI man's curiosity or suspicion was aroused again.

"Nothing, just paying my respects down at Fort Benning."

"Army. Georgia." stated the lead FBI agent.

"Yes."

"My brother's in the army. It's much cooler up here isn't it? I don't know how he did all that training in the heat down there. I visited him a few times. Have a good trip, sir."

And with that they left.

"I guess we'll have to keep an eye on the papers for any results on this one." said Jim shutting the door after them and coming back to the living area.

"Do you feel up to telling me about the photos and things in the locker? I know it was probably the mix of the wacky beer that made it all extra weird and set you off. Had you looked in there since you came back?" asked Blair determined not to let an opportunity pass by since the suits had mentioned Georgia.

They had to start now, before they got to Georgia. Jim might find physically going back a bit overwhelming, and coping with other material evidence could make him really ill.

"Not really, shoved things in there and closed the lid. I moved around a lot when I left the army before coming back here. Guess that's why I was surprised by it. I don't know exactly what's in there." replied Jim slowly.

"Why don't we look at it down here in the open? It'll be quite safe." suggested Blair.

Jim went upstairs and got the locker. It was a standard green painted locker with Jim's name, rank and serial number stencilled on it. It had some scratches and a slight dent in one corner, but otherwise was in good condition.

Jim placed it on the floor in front of the couch and sat down, grunting in discomfort after his efforts. Blair moved and sat near him, so that he too could see what was in the locker.

"We can stop any time you want, Jim. Just tell me about what's in there, whatever comes into your head." Blair said reassuringly.

"Alright. But this feels so stupid. It's only bits and pieces."

"Your bits and pieces, your life, Jim. That's the point here."

There was a pause as Jim calmed himself down. He reached down and opened the box. Nothing leapt out and bit him on the nose. He didn't know whether to feel disappointed or not.

There was a black beret with a cap badge; a lighter with the unit motto on it; letters, some looked unopened, others were battered with re reading; a pack of well used cards, judging by the cover; a small sewing kit; a mini first aid kit; photos; his dog tags; official paperwork in US Army envelopes; his passport; an address book and notebook; and the gun and cleaning kit.

He picked up the notebook and flipped through it. Some names and addresses were listed. Beside each name was a date and a tick. Mr Organized. Of course the Army bureaucracy would have notified next of kin that the status of their loved ones had changed from MIA to KIA, but Jim had written to them as well. As he tried to explain it to Blair, he had no recollection what he'd written all those years ago. Only the notebook confirmed he'd done so. How many ways are there to write to someone and tell them their son, husband, father, lover, boyfriend is dead?-especially when Jim hadn't been the only survivor of the crash. There had been several of them for a good few days. But Jim ended up being the only survivor of the jungle. The lush green foliage crowded in on him. He felt ill; the air was thick and heavy. The smell of the newly turned earth…

"Jim, what about the letters?" asked Blair.

Jim jerked back to the present and realised he was still holding the notebook. He put it on the lid. He reached down and moved some things out of the way to sort through the opened letters.

"These are from some of the guys in various units I've been in. While they were away on R & R -yanking my chain- the schmucks. Ah, this one's from a kid thanking me for getting him home ASAP when his folks were hurt in a car accident; we were halfway across the world at the time. Guys telling me about some course they'd been on and thought I should go for. Nothing much really."

Blair listened fascinated as Jim slowly revealed another part of his life as Jim opened up the army letters next. Paperwork.

Deployment to different bases, units, training, promotion, merit commendations. Medic training, refresher courses. Discharge from the army.

"These dates don't add up though, there are gaps. Were you back home at all- did you visit your family?" asked Blair.

"Didn't go home. And I can't tell you where I was a lot of the time I was in the army. Of course, there were training accidents that kept me out for a while here and there." explained Jim.

"Okay. Let's see if I understood that. You didn't see your family at all? Did they write?"

"No, we don't get on, and yes, there are letters."

"Better than nothing, I suppose." said Blair relieved.

Jim didn't reply.

"These blank times were when you were doing special ops stuff?" continued Blair.

"Sometimes. And that's as far as you're gonna get."

"What do you mean by 'training accidents'?"

"A well known Forces euphemism for getting injured on a mission that you can't tell anyone about. I could tell you, but then I'd have to shoot you."

"Ha - ha, very funny." said Blair smiling until he looked at Jim and realised he meant it.

Jim may only have been a Captain, but it was obvious he'd been through a lot in his career. Which also meant he'd been good at it and had expected to keep doing it for as long as he and the Army were on the same page. And that had changed after Peru, big time. He'd left his second family and support system.

Jim was looking at some letters that looked like they had followed Jim around before finding him and still remained unopened. Jim restlessly shuffled them in his hands, as though he could somehow absorb the information that way without actually having to open them.

"Who are they from?" asked Blair quietly. There was a pause before Jim answered.

"Some are from the families of the men in the Peru unit."

"Why haven't you read them?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time! Because I couldn't bear to read about them thanking for me for looking after the men, when I did no such thing. That they'd want the 'real' story how they died that's why!" said Jim explosively. Blair kept quiet waiting to see if he'd say any more.

"Because I wasn't dealing real well with anything after I left the army. I thought I was going nuts hearing, and seeing things no one else could. Even my clothes hurt! After merging with the jungle for so long, normal real life was hard to deal with. I drifted around for a bit. Met up with an old buddy and he helped straighten me out." continued Jim wearily.

"What about your family letters?" asked Blair suspicion growing as he heard Jim's explanation, and knowing now that Jim hadn't sought sanctuary with his family or other loved ones.

"What about them?"

"You didn't read them either!"

"Nope."

"Because…?" said Blair not understanding.

"Because we have nothing to say to one another that's why" said Jim curtly.

"All the time you were in the Army? Not even after they thought you were dead and came back after 18 months!"

"I guess not."

"Unbelievable!" said Blair.

"Not everyone gets on with their family Sandburg. It's not all cosy like yours."

"Hey, you know nothing about my lifestyle as a kid. Sometimes it sucked too you know!" replied Blair hotly.

"I'm sorry. You're trying to help and I'm being a pain in the ass." apologised Jim.