Indiana Harry: Raiders of the Lost Horcrux
Harry "Indiana Jones" Potter strutted through the dense forest of Greenland in search of the Lost Horcrux. Herman Granger, Hermione's cousin, and Rebecca Weasly, Ron's niece, followed closely behind Mr. Potter.
"Hang on Harry" Rebecca pointed a gun at Harry. "This is as far as we go."
Harry's mad martial arts lessons with master Chuck Norris gave him insane cat-like reflexes. He reached into the back of his shirt and pulled out his long Chinese ponytail and whipped the gun from Rebecca's hand. Rebecca's hand twitched on contact, pulling the trigger. The small 6mm Air-Soft® pellet bounced harmlessly of Harry's 8-Minute Abs®.
"I'm sorry Harry; I've been PMSing all week." Rebecca said.
Harry smiled sympathetically. "It's ok Rebecca, I forgive you." He walked over and hugged her.
"Get off me you pervert!" She shrieked, implanting her left knee into Harry's groin. Harry uttered a pitiful noise and collapsed, writhing in pain. Herman shrugged and walked onwards.
They reached the entrance of the temple without anymore injuries. Harry filled his designer handbag with sand as the other two continued forwards. Suddenly Harry halted them. He removed his cowboy hat he received upon graduation from Chuck Norris's Kung Fu academy. He waved it in the light in the tunnel. High-powered cannon fired a priceless Beanie Baby® at the hat.
"Stay away from the light at the end of this tunnel" Harry cautioned. The two did as they were told. No more stuffed animals were destined to die today.
The three reached a large tiled room. Each tile was labeled "Trap". Obviously, it meant not to step on it. On the other side of the room lay the Horcrux. The Horcrux seemed to be in a chair, and it surprisingly spun around and revealed a person. He was a pretty young man, in short he was tall dark and handsome.
"You're the Horcrux?" Harry asked. The man laughed a sinister laugh.
"I am the Horcrux's nanny" he declared. Harry laughed.
"So where's the Horcrux?" Harry asked, wiping a tear from his eyes.
"You'll never know!" The man laughed again. Herman squinted at the man while unwrapping a candy bar.
"It says 'Horcrux' on his necklace." Herman pointed out. The man cursed.
"You'll never get it!" The man cried as he sprung towards Harry. Herman tossed the candy bar wrapper on the floor in front of him. the weight depressed a tile. Flames erupted from either side of the temple, baking the man at 375° for 45 minutes until he was a nice golden brown. The necklace rolled over to Harry's feet. He reached down and picked it up.
"Well, let's go!" As he said that, however, a large rumbling noise was heard in the direction of the man who was once the Horcrux's nanny. Harry turned around.
"Oh my GOD, IT'S A CHIA PET®!" he cried. Sure enough, a giant chia pet® was now rolling towards them.
"RUN!" Rebecca screamed. Harry and Rebecca sprinted towards the exit. Herman sighed; he stepped over to his left and dodged the plant. Slowly, he walked after his friends.
Authors Note: I dont know how the companies would like their products copyrighted, so i used the same for all of them. please correct me if i'm wrong. Thanks