Keely flipped through the catalogue, never holding her bright pink pen too far away from the pages. She was on a mission. A mission that began every year approximately two weeks before school started, a mission that no matter what else was going on, she had to make time to carry out. "Awww!" she exclaimed, quickly circling a white pleated skirt.
It was back to school clothes shopping time, and with her fall edition of the Delia's catalogue in hand, she was invincible.
This was one of the only things, besides rehearsing for her morning news report in front of the bathroom mirror, that could cause her to talk to herself for an extended period of time.
"Oh my gosh. I've been looking for a pair of these leggings since April!" She circled them.
She sat cross legged on the living room floor in front of the coffee table, a can of pop beside her and a million outfit possibilities before her, making her more excited by the second. Keely loved going back to school almost as much as getting out of it.
Her mom was out showing a house, and Phil had agreed to help his dad do some yard work this afternoon. Without future gadgets. It his only punishment after the party...not too harsh, considering it had really been more Pim's fault than his that he'd had it.
As for Pim… we'll get back to that one.
Keely had just turned the page to find that it was full of adorable, frilly underwear when the back door opened. She turned her head, surprised, trying to remember who else was here.
Oh, yeah… she realized. She heard her father's and her uncle's voices approaching.
She pretended to be fully absorbed in her clothes hunting as they came into the room, even though she wasn't anymore. Her uncle left the room as soon as he'd entered, heading up the short flight of stairs to the second story of the split level house.
"Hey, Keely." Her dad's voice was unnaturally loud, like he was trying to make some kind of grand entrance. She smiled softly.
"Hey." She absently circled a random pair of boxers that she wasn't even sure she liked.
He walked over, sitting on the couch behind her. She reached for her pop can, taking a drink, glancing sideways as she wondered if he was going to say something.
"Hey, your uncle and I were studying up on what there is to see in the surrounding areas of Pickford," he said. "We decided to go check out…" He paused for dramatic effect. "The world's second largest ball of yarn! Wanna come with?" He sounded like an excited teenager.
Keely tried to hide the expression of disgust on her face, but it wasn't easy since her hair was pulled back. She opted for looking down at the coffee table instead.
"Oh…the…the second largest yarn ball, huh?" She cleared her throat. "Where's…where's that?"
"Oh, about an hour north of here," her dad answered. "We figured it'd be worth the drive, though. Not too many opportunities to see something like that!"
The words left Keely's mouth before she realized it. "Except the world's first largest ball of yarn," she muttered.
"What's that?"
"Um, nothing." She sighed. "Dad, I…that sounds really cool and everything, but…"
The world's biggest ball of yarn? That's the father daughter experience he had in mind? After four years of the occasional birthday card and postcard from Las Vegas or wherever he was at, he shows up and wants to take me to see something I could see at Grandma's house in its normal size?
"I think this afternoon I'm just gonna hang around here and…work on some stuff I wanted to work on," she answered politely, but quickly, glancing down at her catalogue. Hey, it counted…
She didn't want to seem too rude, so she attempted some eye contact. She gave her dad a polite smile, and added, "Sorry. It does sound…really tremendous." Best word she could think of for the second largest yarn ball in the world.
Her dad just shrugged. "Well…okay, if you're sure." He grinned. "It would be really cool though. I can't believe you haven't been up to see it yet yourself, living so close. You can still say yes…"
"That's okay, really." She squeezed her pink pen, willing herself to not show her irritation. "Thanks anyway, Dad."
He nodded. "Well, alright," he responded. "You've got things to do." He leaned back against the couch, folding his arms over his chest.
Keely tried to get back to her catalogue.
"So, what's up this afternoon then?" her dad asked casually. "Hanging out with the boyfriend?"
Keely stopped in the middle of circling a pair of sunglasses. She swallowed, shifting uncomfortably. She didn't know why the question made her feel that way. She wasn't sure how her father felt about that whole…thing, and she had never flat out told him that she was dating Phil, even though it was probably pretty obvious.
She cleared her throat.
"Uh, no," she responded. "He's helping around the house today. So if we do, not until…much later."
"Aha. I see." Her father just nodded. Was he smiling to himself?
She sucked in her breath, ready to say something to him. She didn't speak fast enough.
Footsteps thudded down the stairs. "Dad, that's pretty much the last thing I want to do. If you don't mind, I think I'll grab some hamburger meat from the freezer and watch it defrost instead." Melody entered the room in a flash of long blonde hair as she flipped it over her shoulder in annoyance.
She'd stolen the words straight from somewhere within Keely's mind...but go figure, Melody was the one who would actually say them.
"Hey," Uncle Bob said, following his daughter in. "Mellie, you've gotten yourself a pretty big attitude lately, and I'm not so sure I like it. I'd appreciate it if you'd cut that out."
"Oh, you've noticed something about me, huh? I'm amazed. And stop with the 'Mellie' stuff."
"Okay, that's enough. What do you mean, stop with the Mellie stuff? I've called you that since—"
"You called me that when you were being all affectionate and Dad-like and stuff. Right now you're just being… impossible."
"I'm being impossible? So what would you call the way you're acting, young lady?"
"Young lady? Where did that come from, 'Mr. Cool Dad'?" She did air quotes with her fingers.
Keely saw her dad stand up.
"Hey, uh," he began cautiously, intervening. "Melody, it's okay if you take a rain check on the big ball of yarn. It's obviously not something that thrills most teenagers." He glanced at Keely, then at Melody's father. "Especially those with boyfriends."
Uncle Bob sighed, forfeiting. Keely looked at her dad, feeling her face grow hotter. "Dad, I—" She didn't even know how to respond. What was he trying to say?
Melody glanced at her uncle, then at her dad. "Yeah, well…I think I will take that rain check or whatever. Thanks." She headed out of the room in the opposite direction from which she had come.
Uncle Bob dropped his arms at his side in defeat. "All right then," he said, putting on a smile. "It's just us. Are you going, kiddo?" He was asking Keely. She was surprised her dad's little side note hadn't given it away.
She looked up. "I, uh…"
"She's got some stuff to do today," her dad responded for her. "Important teenage stuff, you know. Looks like it's just you and me today, bro."
Keely gritted her teeth, less than two seconds from giving him a taste of some of that teenage stuff…
Her phone rang instead. She grabbed it, checking the ID to see "Mom" blinking back at her. She flipped it open and made a point be completely ignore anyone else in the room. Right now she didn't care.
"Hey, Mom."
"Hi sweetie. Just wanted to let you know that we're going to be done here pretty soon." Her mom's chipper voice was a completely different universe right now. "I was thinking that once I finish up, I can come home and get you and we could go grab something to eat. Just the two of us." She paused. "Or, if you're cousin's up to it, you could ask her to come…" But she sounded like she didn't quite believe what she was saying.
Keely scoffed. "Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and assume that she's not," she replied, tossing down her pen.
"Well…okay." Mandy sighed. "I thought so. Hey, that's okay. Just you and me. Think you could be ready by six?"
It was 5:30. Keely smiled. She was so, so happy to take up this offer. Just she and her mom, like it used to be, away from all… this.
"Of course," she replied. "Definitely. I'll see you then?"
"Okay, Poptart!" her mom exclaimed, thrilled. "I'll be there at six, no later!"
"Awesome. I'll see you then. Love you, Mom." I really, really, really do…she's getting me out of here…
"I love you too, pookie. Bye!"
Keely hung up her phone and put it down on the table. She was now alone in the room again.
"Pookie?" she wondered aloud.
She shook her head.
…..
She was putting on mascara when she realized how unnaturally quiet the house was. She paused a moment, waited quietly, and then slowly went back to her eyelashes.
She continued with her eyeshadow and her lipgloss. Her flat iron was hot enough, so she ran it through her blonde tresses quickly. She started humming; "Protecting Me" was the tune. When she was satisfied with her hair, she unplugged the flat iron, grabbed her makeup and continued humming out of the bathroom and towards her bedroom.
She entered her room, placed her makeup on her dresser, and stopped. It was then she realized that something was different, and it wasn't just in her head.
"Melody?" she said aloud as it clicked in her mind, more to herself than anything. She looked around, down at the bed. Everything was there just as she'd left it. Must have gone downstairs, Keely thought. She dabbed on some lipgloss and grabbed her purse.
It was really quiet in her house.
She didn't know why, or how, but she just had this…feeling. Like even though tonight felt like it was really working out now, there was some kind of catch. She pictured Melody storming out of the room earlier, after arguing with her dad.
She glanced downward, and that's when she saw it.
"Whoa," she whispered thoughtfully, leaning down to pick up a half heart necklace from the floor, near the doorway. She held it up. The clasp was undone, and the chain dangled in front of her.
"My mom wears the other half…I never take it off…"
"Never," Keely remembered, puzzled. She looked around the room. "What the heck?"
Slowly, she left her bedroom, looking around her as she went down the hall and stairs. "Uh…Melody?" she called out tentatively throughout the house. "You're here, aren't you?"
And…no reply.
She sighed, standing in her front hallway, and she felt her shoulders slump. "Great," she mumbled. "I…I don't believe this."
She took another look at the necklace, then closed her fingers around it. She checked the living room, kitchen, laundry room, the bathroom, guest room, the backyard, even her mom's room. Anywhere.
She found herself back in the front hallway at the end of it all, alone in a house she wasn't supposed to be alone in.
"Oy flippin' vey, this is fantastic!" she sighed, pulling out her phone to call her mom.
Her brow furrowed. If she called her mom, and Melody was missing, her mom would probably call the cops. They'd be out looking, everyone would have to wait at the house, and their night of perfectly happy mother-daughter time would be total chaos instead.
She bit her lip, torn. In the hall mirror, she could see herself reflected. She was dressed nicely, all ready to leave, her young, pretty blonde self as usual. If she smiled, everything might even look normal. But instead, her expression was upset, angry and confused. She examined herself for a moment. Why don't I smile as much lately? That's who I am…I'm Keely, I always smile! Why does everything have to…prevent that from happening?
She sighed, and headed for the front door. She pulled it open, stepped out onto the front porch. The sun was setting over her neighborhood. Hopefully her mom would be a little late…as much as she didn't want her to be.
"Fifteen minutes," she sighed, her eyebrows knit together. "I've got fifteen minutes to find my MIA cousin before I can go out to eat dinner with my own mom. And now I'm talking to myself, again! This is…"
She faltered as the white sheet of paper caught her eye, easy to see against the bright green grass. She stepped closer, looked around, stepped closer again, as if it were some alien artifact.
When she got close enough to see the handwriting scrawled on it, something clicked in her brain. She sighed. "What is this, a treasure hunt?" she whispered. She leaned to pick it up.
Despite her better judgments, her eyes wandered over it.
"You suffocate me…you drown me out," she read. "I feel I'm fading, I flicker out…" As her eyes scanned the paper, they turned softer. In her cousin's quickly scrawled but kind of girlish handwriting, she could practically see her face…and it looked like it did the day she stepped out from behind the car, weighted down by everything she had to carry.
"There's so much you're missing…if you cared, you'd listen…"
Keely raised her eyes from the paper. So this was it. This was what she always kept hidden, away from everyone else.
Keely suddenly felt uneasy, like a trespasser. She looked around, glanced at the paper, then back up. She wasn't actually one, though, because it had just been…laying there…in her front yard…?
"Where did you go?" she wondered aloud.
So she found herself following the sidewalk, looking for any more of the papers. She couldn't believe she was doing it. "This is ridiculous," she sighed repeatedly. The minutes were ticking by, the sun had gone down.
Keely was at the end of her block now, looking around in desperation. She groaned. "Please, please just…let me know where she is," she mumbled to the darkening sky. "I've got a dinner date with Mom in ten minutes that I just really need to get to…I mean, as if all this stuff isn't crazy enough! Why can't I just have this one night?" Her arm flopped to her side. The paper slipped from her fingers, fluttering down towards the sidewalk. A breeze picked it up.
"Oh, geez…" She ran around the corner after it, watching it tumble and bounce. She didn't know why she bothered, as Melody would probably never miss it…
The breeze blew again, lifting the paper up higher into the air, as it swirled forward. Keely moaned, increasing her steps to a light jog. "I should just forget about this," she spat angrily. "Just forget it..." She stopped, sighing, her hands on her hips.
The breeze stopped too a second later, and about twenty feet down the walk, the paper slowly floated down, settling in the grass right outside of a wire fence. Keely watched it.
For some reason, she started towards it, even though everything told her to turn around and go back home, call her mom, report a missing cousin, forget the dinner date…
"This is so dumb," she whispered to herself, no longer caring how crazy it made her seem, talking to no one. "Melody is missing! Why haven't I called someone already? Ah scraps…I need to get home, but I should call my mom first and, oh, who cares about the food, I…"
She heard the squeaking of a moving swing before she saw anything. When she finally did come to her senses, she found herself standing outside the fence on one side of a little playground. It had gotten darker, but she could still make out the familiar shapes of the slide and the swingset and the monkey bars…Then, finally, the silhouette sitting on one swing, slowly moving it back and forward.
It didn't matter that Keely was looking at them from behind…she knew.
Sighing with relief, she rolled her eyes up towards the heavens and pressed her hands together in a silent thanks. Then, quietly and cautiously, she walked forward, picked up the paper, then walked around the fence. The gravel crunched underneath her feet.
Melody's head snapped sideways at the sound, looking stunned. Keely stopped in her tracks.
"Uh, sorry," she said quietly.
Melody sighed when she identified Keely, then dropped her eyes to her lap.
"It's fine."
Another breeze blew, but this time, Keely held onto the paper.
"So, uh…" She sighed. "Melody, what are you doing here?"
Melody raised her eyebrows, looking up, but not at her cousin. "Uh, sitting," she responded. "What, is that against the rules around here too?"
"No," Keely sighed, reminding herself to keep her patience. "It's just…you had me freaked out, okay?"
Melody just shook her head. "Well, that's nice to know," she replied. "I've made an impact somehow."
Keely gazed at her cousin. "What?"
"I've…made…an…"
"Yes, Melody, I'm not so blonde that I couldn't understand what you said." Keely sighed, closing her eyes. "Sorry. I just…why did you do this? I was gonna go out to dinner with my mom, and you just…disappeared…"
"Well, then, go." She rolled her eyes.
"I can't. You were missing." Keely noticed her cousin's black notebook, lying on the gravel next to her swing.
"And why is that your problem?" For the first time since Keely had gotten here, Melody made eye contact with her.
Keely didn't even know what to say.
"I…" She sighed, placing a hand on her forehead. "You know what Melody? I don't know. I don't know why it's my problem, but I know it's a problem, and you know, if it's okay with you, I thought maybe I would try to help. I know you think it totally sucks here, and that there's no possible way things could get better, but I'd like to let you know that—"
"Oh, okay," Melody laughed. She slowly stood up. "Excuse me, miss optimism, I have to stop you there."
Keely looked shocked at her cousin's shift in mood…from bad to worse.
"You know, it's real easy to see the world…you know…the way you do, when everything's already peachy all the time. I mean…just…look at you! It's all just mapped out, isn't it?
"What… I… mapped out?"
"Everything. It must be nice. You can't honestly tell me you have complaints about your life, Keely. Your mom just raves about you. You've got the perfect, best looking boyfriend anyone could ever find. Don't deny it. You've got your whole little reporter thing going on, your big perfect smile, your cute clothes, your…" She stopped herself, shaking her head. She looked down at the gravel.
Keely was silent. Her head was spinning.
"You know what, never mind," Melody said, except this time, her voice was quiet. "It's just that…there's you, and then there's…me." She shook her head. "You just don't even know, okay?"
Keely shook her head too, slowly. She was stunned.
"Wow," she said finally. "Wow. No, I…I guess I don't know." She gazed intensely at her cousin. "I don't know how you even think that, for one thing. Where…where did you get all of this?"
Melody looked surprised. "From…you!" she cried. "From suddenly ending up in your house one day before I even had anything to say about it, from watching everything run smoothly in your life where mine is just…" She trailed off. "What's that?"
Keely followed her gaze down to her hand, more specifically, to the piece of paper she held in it. "Oh, uh," she began, holding it up awkwardly. "It's, um…I just…found it…"
Melody looked cautious as she grabbed it from Keely's hand, turning it over. Instantly she recognized it, and instantly her eyes shot up to meet Keely's.
"Did you… read this?"
Keely looked uneasily at Melody. "Well I mean, I… kinda. It was just kinda there, in front of me…it was on my front lawn!" she exclaimed. "It's how I figured out you must be…gone." She paused. "Oh, and, um…this." She unfolded her hand, holding up the half heart necklace.
Melody's eyes fell upon it, and she was silent for a few seconds. She bit her lip.
"Do you want it?" Keely asked.
Melody stared at it for a second, then looked away. She sighed, but reached up and gently took it back. Then she turned around, just holding it, looking down.
Keely looked around the playground, sighing. Her mom was probably home now, worrying…
"Why do you always run away, Melody?" she demanded.
She didn't expect an answer right away, but she kind of needed one. They were running on extremely borrowed time. It was dusk now, and a streetlight nearby had just blinked on.
Her cousin's answer came quietly at first. "Maybe…I'm trying to figure out where else I'm supposed to be, and doing it wrong," she said. Then her voice grew a little louder. "Wouldn't you, Keely? I mean, think about it. What if, once, for five minutes, your life wasn't totally amazing?" She turned back around.
Keely blinked.
"Melody, I… I wish you got it," she snapped back. "I…" She trailed off.
"Got what?" Melody scoffed.
Keely sighed. "That you're not the only one who is going through some stuff right now, okay? You think you are, but you're not."
"Okay, thanks. How much do I owe you for that psychiatry session?"
"Just stop!" Keely yelled, and they both looked surprised at her tone. "Melody, I… is there any helping you? I want to, believe it or not, but I can't! You just won't let anyone help!"
"And why do you want to help me?" she scoffed. "Seriously. Why?"
Keely just shrugged as she tried to come up with an answer.
"What happened, anyway?" she asked finally. "I mean, the last time I saw you, you were the one who was always smiling. I thought you had everything together. I mean, your parents were always both there and they never seemed to fight or have any problems, and…you had the cutest Barbie towel…"
Melody raised her eyebrows.
"And I don't know, I was little, but I just remember thinking…how happy you were. And now…"
Melody just looked around the park. She began to nod slowly. Keely couldn't tell anything from the expression on her face.
She sighed, waiting to see what the next thing her cousin had to say about that would be.
"That was a long time ago," she said finally. Her voice was really quiet.
Keely looked back at her. "Yeah…" She sighed. And then she noticed the look in Melody's eyes; faraway.
Keely nodded.
"You… you do get it," she answered. "I know you do…" She looked at Melody's necklace. "Your mom is there, you're here in a new place with your dad, and it all sucks. But you know what? My mom's here, my dad was there, and now he's here, and I don't know if I want him there or here, and he should be here, and he hasn't been…" She shook her head. "You… you can tell me that not everything in your life is perfect, but you can't tell me that everything is perfect in mine, Melody. I think we both have a little something that we're… missing out on."
Melody was silent. A breeze ruffled the trees.
Finally, she looked at Keely and nodded. Keely went ahead and took that as an "I know."
"So…" Keely wrung her hands together, idly. "Do you wanna head back now? They're probably worried…"
Melody shrugged. "You go ahead…I'll follow."
Keely sighed. "No, I'd really rather…"
She was cut short as headlights filled the darkening playground, and she squinted against them. Melody turned around.
A car had pulled up just outside the playground, and came to a stop. The headlights went off. Behind it, an SUV pulled up. And then she came to realization.
"Keely?" her dad called as he climbed out of the passenger seat of the car.
She looked at him tentatively. Oh great. He shut the door and walked around the front of his car towards her.
The other car's driver door opened too, and of course, Uncle Bob climbed out.
"Mellie," he called, sounding relieved. "There you are."
She sighed and turned around, her back facing him.
Keely's dad came up next to her, stopping just short of his daughter. She saw relief in his face, too. She actually felt a flutter of satisfaction for that. And at the same time… guilt.
"Hey there," he said, smiling half heartedly. "We've been driving around for a good twenty minutes looking for you girls. We split up…then Uncle Bob thought maybe Melody would be here. He said she's run away to parks before, when she was younger. Anyway…you really have your mom worried, kiddo."
Keely crossed her arms over her chest, taking all this in.
"Sorry," she said softly. "I just…I had to find Melody. She ran off. I know Mom and I have dinner plans, but…I didn't know what to do…" She paused. "Aren't you supposed to be out looking at that big huge yarn ball?" She felt the familiar disgust from earlier welling up inside her.
"Until we got a call from your mom," he answered. "Then we turned around and came right back."
Keely gazed up at him. Then she looked down, nodding slowly. "Oh," she replied.
In the background, Uncle Bob was trying to talk to Melody, without much success.
"So you abandoned your big activity of the day just to come find out where your moody teenage daughter had run off to? Well, Dad, I'm flattered," she scoffed.
"Yeah, I did, Mel," he replied. "Because I happen to care a lot about my moody teenage daughter, and I didn't really like the idea of you out running around some town you aren't even that familiar with."
"Whatever…" She turned and stalked back towards the car. "Can we just go?"
Keely watched her walk past, looked back at her dad, and shrugged. Awkwardly, she decided to follow.
"Hey, Keel, wait a minute."
She froze in her tracks. Keel? Only one person called her Keel.
"Yeah?" She bit her lip.
"Do you…do you want to talk?"
Talk? Did she want to talk?
Wow…
She took a deep breath.
"Not here," she answered finally. She walked towards the car.
Her dad watched her go, and followed seconds later.