One of my friends has passed on. This story is on a temporary hold.
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The noise startled Sesshomaru from his musings. Despite expecting it it never stopped startling him. Perhaps, he wondered, because he hoped it wouldn't come. The cry of terror from the next room caused him to rise in a smooth motion from his bed and stalk over to a large hanging scroll that hid a small escape route from her room to his. He quickly crossed the short distance and entered her room, walking smoothly over to the bed where the girl lashed out against hidden tormentors that plagued her sleep. Settling himself on the edge of her mattress he reached out with one smooth hand and placed it against her forehead. Immediately the cries and flailing about ceased but she still whimpered and the worry lines of her brow were still deeply indented in her skin.
Gently Sesshomaru slid his body onto the blankets next to her, stretching his legs out and positioning his arms to prop him up so he could look at her while he stroked her hair. The whimpering stopped as Rin rolled over towards the warm body and snuggled against his chest. Worry lines remained etched upon her forehead but they were slowly starting to fade away under the soft stroke of his thumb.
Having the warm body pressed up against him was a distraction. Everything she did was a distraction. The problem was that as soon as he started thinking about getting rid of the distraction his mind went to a different subject. He didn't like that either. His mind should be his tool and yet it refused to think about the issue. He'd finally figured a logical reason why. Years of patience had shown that she provided valuable service and getting rid of her would be foolish. She provided not only a temporary cook but a loyal servant and someone to whom Jakken had actually opened up to. The last part Sesshomaru could be arguably most thankful for as it meant less chatter at him.
The feel of Rin wrapping her arms around his waist pulled him back to reality, startling him at how easy he'd slipped from his constant vigilance. Holding very still and observing her breathing he determined she was still asleep.
He was almost tempted to stay.
Being like this with Rin always caused him this problem. It created a fear in his heart he would end up like his father. The fact that the fear that something should happen to Rin outweighed his fear for rebellion caused him even more. If he slipped into such a depraved cycle of destruction he would never be strong enough to hold up the Western Lands. His hand stopped stroking the now smooth forehead and tucked stray hairs back from her open mouth.
Her nightmares concerned him and he sincerely wished they would cease. Giving in to this secret pleasure was not worth the fact that Rin was in torment beforehand. He rose slowly from the bed and walked towards the tapestry that hid her side of the tunnel.
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Rin lay in bed listening to the barely audible footsteps that were moving away from her. She'd woken up to the smell of Sesshomaru and the feel a warm body getting out of her bed.
This has to be a dream
She rolled over and opened her eyes to look into the darkness of her room. The chair that she'd put in front of the hidden entryway was slightly out of position but that could be explained. Rin sat up and walked over to the entryway and slid aside the painting scroll that was hanging in front of it. She hated the idea that she was bending it but Sesshomaru had merely looked at her blankly when she protested that it was silly to cover up the entryway.
" Senseless girl," Jakken had cried, " your lord gives you more protection than you deserve and you'd flaunt it everywhere? The other lords would be scandalized. Be grateful that he's giving you as much as he has and do as he wishes."
So the scroll had gone up and Rin had tried to not focus that if she just moved it aside...
Now Rin had actually moved the scroll and scooted slowly across cold stone floor towards his side. She paused right before Sesshomaru's scroll, hesitating at awakening him if he was sleeping.
" What is it Rin?"
She sighed.
Doesn't he ever sleep?
She pushed the scroll aside.
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Apparently he had been careless in his assessment if Rin had awoken. He waited as she pushed aside the wall covering and stepped towards him. From where he lounged on the futon her hair was disheveled and her robe was wrinkled and looked slightly open at the front and yet she still didn't look...displeasing. He'd give himself that much.
" My lord you're awake," Rin said, moving over to sit at the edge of his bed. " I had hoped you'd be asleep by now."
Rin was the only person in the entire castle who'd dare to approach him and then sit on his bed without permission. Any other being and he'd have scarred their face in the most casual manner but he couldn't bring himself to do so to Rin. She was human and fragile and he had to admit she'd never done anything that was purposefully arrogant.
" So you come into my room when you hope I'm asleep?" He shifted to sit with his left leg extended.
" No my lord," she looked at the bed and then back up, " forgive me but I thought I heard my lord in my room."
Ah, so she hadn't caught him lying next to her then. Perhaps it was the lack of warmth when he moved that had caused her to awaken.
" You were making the loudest noises. I came to see what was causing you distress. It appeared it was nothing more then a bad dream."
She sat for a moment, thinking, before turning to him.
" I'm sorry for causing such trouble."
He narrowed his eyes and turned so that his profile was to her.
" Don't be foolish."
She smiled. If in all the years she'd been with him she'd learned only one thing that was that don't be foolish was his way of saying don't worry about it.
" Are you not tired?"
" No."
She scooted herself up onto the bed and folded her legs underneath her. He gave her a look and she reconsidered for a moment before scooting up to his side and curling up against him.
" Rin it's was no longer appropriate that you sleep near me."
She opened her eyes and looked up at him with a wane smile.
" I know my lord. I only seek the comfort of your presence like I used to and I won't intend to stay for long."
He refused to acknowledge the tiny feeling in the back of his head that wanted to keep her there. It was beneath him.
" As you wish," he stated, keeping his eyes firmly ahead.
He really should be more firm with her. She took leaves that he wouldn't have granted his most favored courtesan though he'd had yet to actually have her do anything senseless in public. He generally didn't tolerate such fragile and weak things around him so the fact that he'd let a human live near him had caused quite a few words to be said behind his back and the fact that she was female had caused the more foolish to question exactly how much like his father he was.
Looking to his side he realized that Rin had fallen asleep despite her assurances.
Her face had none of the lines or fear that it had shown earlier and if he didn't know better he'd believe that her face couldn't show such signs. Her mouth slightly open and lying on her side, she had her knees curled up to her chest and her hands loosely folded in front of her. The top of her head was close to his hip and he dryly observed a small trickle of drool coming out of her mouth.
How...lovely
He stifled the sigh that grew in his chest. He'd been doing that far too often lately and he was in need of rest and he couldn't bring himself to let his guard down around anyone, even if that someone was asleep and drooling.
Despite the fact that he could easily move her to her room if he so desired but he couldn't quite work up the motivation. He tilted his head back to rest on a large cushion and stared at the ceiling. The smooth whiteness pleased him. He'd worked hard for all that surrounded him. He'd had to rely a bit more on physical intimidation in some cases then he had wanted to originally when he decided to speed up his plans for the empire. Jakken's fearful voice came back to him
" I don't know why she said such things my lord. I have no idea why Rin of all people would think about death at a time like this my lord, forgive me my lord, I'll find out."
" Don't bother," he'd said curtly, dismissing Jakken to scamper to the other side of the campsite. A few moments later a small Rin came stumbling back into the campsite from relieving herself in the woods. She rubbed her eyes tiredly and headed over towards Ah-nun for the night.
" Rin come here."
She froze and then walked over to him and sat on her knees next to him.
" Yes Sesshomaru-sama?"
" Your words earlier, explain them."
She stared at him for a moment. Biting her lip she looked at the sky and then back at Sesshomaru.
" Which ones my lord?"
" The foolish ones."
Her face brightened and she bopped a tiny fist into a tiny hand.
" Ah! Yes, see Jakken was talking about your empire. He said," her voice turned sad, " that I would be dead by the time you set yours up so...so I wanted you to remember me even though you'd have all that nice stuff."
She yawned, hastily covering it with a hand and looked at Sesshomaru sheepishly before she got the thoughtful expression on her face again.
" Will you my lord?"
He looked to the side again.
" Don't be foolish."
A snort interupted his reflections and he looked down at the twitching Rin. She appeared to be mumbling a bit and shifted so that her legs splayed out across the futon. He raised his eyebrow. As polite as any of the humans princesses in public, Rin always reverted to her open and fun loving self when she was assured of privacy. Sometimes that had rather interesting side effects. He closed his eyes. He really should get some rest if he was to be at full mental capacity in the morning and he didn't have to fully sleep to be able to get that rest. He stifled a cross between a sigh and a yawn as he stretched and relaxed his head backwords. He could discuss Rin's new placement in the court with her in the morning...
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I liberally sprinkle different ways of saying 'my lord' around in this fic. You can only say 'my lord' so many times before you want to grit your teeth. Thus why I include Sesshomaru-sama as an alternative although I generally keep the Japanese words for things out of the stories.
I've always had the impression that Rin would grow up to speak a bit formally. I also feel, personally, that while she would be rather aware of what and what not to do in public, that when she's in private with Sesshomaru she would be completely free to be herself. I tried to think of how the character of Sesshomaru would raise her and I imagine that she's pure physically (if not mentally, she HAS been spending a lot of time in a kitchen), and a bit naive about physical relationships though probably not in politics. I try to reflect this in my writing.