This was inspired by "What Family Guy would never say", which was inspired by some other thing that people would never say...
"What the Super Smash Bros. Melee people would never say and do"
The first and possibly only chapter...
Link: I wanna become a magical fairy named Edwardo!
Kirby: I need to grow some new hair...
Fox randomly forces a banana on DK
Donkey Kong: NO! I DON'T WANT THAT GROSS BANANA! I WANT A BANANA BASED TOFU SNACK!
Fox: YOU'LL EAT THIS FUCKING BANANA AND YOUR GONNA LIKE IT!
Bowser: Hey! stay the hell away from my fucking garden!
Mario: Hey, Luigi, you seen my pantyhose?
Luigi: Oh, yeah, I threw those out cus they were tempting me to try them on.
Ness: Hey, Link, if you want to become a magical fairy, just come over to my house, I have a conversion kit all set up for a time like this!
Link: Sweet! I'll be over there faster than two jiggles of a jackrabbits ass!
Ness: Uhhm, you cant come over right now... I have swimming lessons in 5 minutes!
Link: Ok! I'll wait at your house until you get back!
Yoshi: Why does this jackass named Joey worship me? He brought me to school and he got beat up after he brought me in for "show and tell."
Samus who is wearing a top hat: Well, it's obvious that he needs you as a companion so he desn't feel lonely.
JigglyPuff: (in a singing voice) Jigglypuff...
Everybody falls asleep
Jigglypuff: WHY THE FUCKING HELL DOES THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN? WAKE UP JACKASSES!
Everybody wakes up with a Bomb-Omb in they're mouth
Zelda: Howy hit, i hot da om-ong im ny nouf!
Everybody runs around screaming until they go off
Peach: Hey! I'm not hurt! Maybe it's because I'm so smart!
All: NO YOU DUMBASS, ITS BECAUSE YOUR SO DAMN STUPID!
Peach: Your just jealous.
Capt. Falcon: Holy shit, I need a pizza... and a disko nap...
Capt. Falcon gets a pizza and takes a disko nap.
Ice Climbers: Where are our incredibly large mallots?
Pikachu: Today on much music, I saw a music video with a cheap rip-off of me on steroids... I think it was... Girls Not Grey by AFI? Yah, that was it.
Ice Climbers: Oh, here they are... OH CRAP! THIS ISNT A GIANT MALLOT! ITS THE ELECTRIC HAMMER!
Everybody runs around screaming until the hammer wears out.
Mew-Two: Holy shit, that was some fucked up crap!
All: WTF MEW-TWO?
Ness: Hey, Link, I'm done my swimming lessons! Let's go wrap presents!
Link: Uh, don't you mean "Lets go convert me?"
Dr. Mario: Who needs a check up? I'M GIVING THEM OUT FOR FREE!
Everybody ran around in circles hoping that Dr. Mario will forget about them.
It didn't work, so they all had a 20 minute huddle. They walked over to Dr.M and they all kicked him in the nuts.
That worked.
Dr. Mario ran away crying and holding his crotch.
After they all kicked Dr. Mario in the crotch, Link went to Ness's house to be converted. But when they got there, Link faced a problem - Link had somehow gone back in time and it was Young Link standing right in front of him. Link tried to freak out Young Link by saying,
"Young Link, I am your father."
Young Link ran away cying and Link/Ness were back in the future, er, present... yes, keep believing your in the present... anyways...
Capt. Falcon: hey, what happened? I was taking a disko nap and I just woke up. You know, from the disko nap I was just taking, that I just woke up from?
Capt. Falcon went in circles for about an hour when he relized that he was talking to himself. Then he started talking faster. Then twitchier. Then his head exploded. He fell down and the Death character from Family Guy came and took him away to fairy land. Link read the note that Death left behind, which read,
Everybody,I have taken that idiot, Capt. Falcon to faiy land. I know Link wants to go there, but thats to damn bad for him. he will never be any type of fairy. Ever. And thats final.
Link cried and yelled
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Link fell down dead. Ness came in and did the exact same thing (scream NOOOOOO! and fall over dead) because he found Link dead.
Zelda found the dead bodies an flushed them down the toilet. Kirby walked in and helped her. Then kirby went to the bathroom. The toilet was too big, so he fell in and went to the sewers. Not to be seen for the rest of he day. Zelda randomly walked off a cliff and killed herself. Ness electricuted himself by trying to get the system with the same name as him to work. Mario and Luigi were fine...Yoshi was in a bar fight and lost - so he was flushed down the sewers with Kirby. Samus lost his top hat on a rollercaoster and jumped off the rollercaoster for it. Bang, Bang, your dead. Pikachu wanted to get revenge on the weird thing on steroids in that music video, but he got his ass kicked. Donkey Kong got angry at Fox and killed him with the banana he was forcing on him. DK got so angry that he had a heart attack and died. Bowser got stung by a bee in his garden and his eyes got so swollen that he couldnt see, so he got hit by a car with a person inside that got stung by a bee in the eye area, too. She died. The person in the car was Peach. Ding, Dong, the Witch is dead... Marth and Roy, who weren't even in the story, were sucked up by a phone talking to each other. (Marth was in Tahiti, and Roy was in CANADA! Woo...). Jigglypuff Commited suicide cus everyone kept falling asleep while she was singing. The Ice Climbers had a mallot fight after they found them, and Nana was killed, so the other one went with her.
There, an hour and a half of just random writting. Please read and review! NOT YOU, MEGA HANK! (also know as megan, meggy, megatha, stupid person, that one guy, and just plain hank)