Sesshomaru's normally disdainful demenior had frayed visably with Rin's absence. Jakken was thankful that most of the courters attributed the sudden inreases in decapitations to the increased amount of time Sesshomaru actually spent in the castle.
Sesshomaru sat on a porch, a small cup of tea near him, and wondered about the burning emotion he was feeling in his chest. He studied it, analysized it, contemplated it and still it wouldn't give up what it was.
A combination of many others perhaps? Anger is there, I feel it smoldering in my chest but it holds others as well.
Perhaps...lust? He would not contemplate love but lust was something more understandable, more open to thought. Humans and demons were compatable physically, sexually, it'd been proven time and again.
A lust for her.
He could accept that it was there. He aknowledged it, felt the slight increase in pressure in his chest as it seemed to grow stronger and throttled it down again. So now he could not deny the fact that he had feelings of desire. Not only to posses her body against his but to protect her from harm and cradle her against him. The desire to feel her need him in her life. She depended on him in a trusting way so filled with passion and sweetness that he could not admit it to himself unless he was willing to accept the fact that he was likely to hold her and never let her go. He wanted both to tumble with her in his sheets and to walk with her through the rain. He wanted to have her stroke his hair and temples and other parts besides. He wanted, with a deep feral passion, to feel her skin under his hand and to nuzzle and cuddle and comfort.
Is this what father felt for that whelp's mother? Is this strange desire what he could not resist?
He wanted desperatly to ignore those around him and indulge but more then anything that had to be pushed away.
He got up and stalked across the bridge in the garden. It was easier to escape these thoughts when she was here, a solid form whom he could easily avoid and those troubling thoughts with her. He was finding that now the thoughts lurked around every corner, popped up with every whispered rumor. The ladies who pawed cautiously at him didn't even begin to arouse any desire anymore. There was no freedom in their movements, only calculation. He had enough of that for many people and was sick of it surrounding him.
" Jakken," he swiftly moved up behind the small demon in the kitchen. " When will the ocean house be ready?"
Jakken stared up at him. They'd just started on it less then two weeks ago. Even with the strength and skill of many demons it would take at least a month to get ready even the most barely habitable of houses for his lord.
" You should be able to visit in a two weeks or so my lord, and it should be fully done in another six."
" That," Sesshomaru said with no hint of emotion in his voice, " is not acceptable. It will be ready sooner or I will be displeased."
" Of course my lord," Jakken bowed low as Sesshomaru dissapeared around the curve of a hallway.
Hmmph! I suppose next I'll have to make Rin show up whole and healthy too
Aggitated, Sesshomaru stalked the halls of the palace, sending any in his path scattering for safety. Once the thoughts had slid out of control there was no way to simply ignore them. He desired to protect Rin and he'd failed. He desired other...things that he could not give in to. Simply impossible unless he wanted to view his father's history and ignore it.
Those that ignore the past are doomed to repeat it
He stepped into his rooms and retreated to his sleeping chamber. There had to be some kind of deficency that his father had passed to him or he would never feel these things for something like a human. They disgusted him. They used to disgust him, he admitted to himself, and most of them still did. The fact of the matter was that at this point he only felt his old disgust for those who acted like the monsters that prowled the forest, little better then beasts. No pride, no honor, no civility at all.
The rage of the past had been set aside and he wasn't sure when it had happened. He had hadn't been acting on the urges it caused quite as much when Rin showed up and the battle with Naraku started but that was simple logic. Being ruled by your emotions around people who couldn't handle them and when those who would strike were watching for weakness was insane and invited nothing but trouble. No, sometime in the past years the emotion had mostly gone from him. He didn't have quite the wanderlust, the desire for power, the need to prove his superiority. He was confident with himself.
No, what drove him mad now was the fact that he wanted something that he couldn't have. InuYasha's sword had never been his, would never have consented to being his, but this was different. Rin had, in a sense, been 'his' since she had started traveling with him. Yet here in his own house, where his way was law, she was his charge and servant and could be nothing more.
He mentally shook his head. Rin was quite obvious in how she felt about him but, unlike his younger brother's wench, had the good sense to keep it completely hidden in even the possible presence of others. That did not make this sudden aknowledgment of things he'd kept safetly submerged any easier.
I need something to distract me, to keep me from thinking about this. If I continue down this path it is only a matter of time before I convince myself to do something truely foolhardy
v
VvVvVvVvVvVvVvVvVv
v
Rin glanced nervously around the hanging scroll that blocked Kagome's doorway. In the distance InuYasha stood with a bunch of strangers that had come marching in carrying swords and shields. Rin had retreated quietly back into the hut at Kagome's urging but had peeked immediately. Kagome stood off to the side, talking to someone who was obviously a priestess but she turned as InuYasha grew really agitated and stalked off into the village.
Rin narrowed her eyes. Something was wrong, really wrong. Men well equipped with swords and priestesses in their ranks as well, the way they appeared to have deferred to InuYasha and the way Kagome kept glancing back towards her hut all added up to something brewing. The feeling in the air caused the hairs on the back of her neck to rise.
Kagome said something, gesturing towards the temple that had been built near to the God Tree and the strange priestess bowed and called forth a few more, younger, priestesses from the group that had been around InuYasha. They talked to Kagome for a few more moments before they and the men headed in that direction.
Kagome walked slowly back towards where Rin waited. Slipping quietly past the screen Rin met her halfway.
" Something's wrong Kagome," she put her hand on one of Kagome's shoulders and forced their eyes to meet, " I don't need to be a priestess to tell that where there's war armor and priestesses there's something that involves demons."
Kagome brought her hand up to rub the bridge of her nose for a moment. " I think you'd best sit down inside for awhile Rin, and I'll let you know what those people have brought to our doorstep."
v
VvVvVvVvVvVvVvV
v
Sorry about such a short chapter. Will try to do longer ones on the next few to make up for it.