Title: Behind Those Eyes

Author: Katie

Summary:A look at the Winchester life between Sam leaving and the pilot.

Spoilers: None really, at least not so far but a general understanding of the show would help

Rating: PG for language

Pairing: None

Authors Note: I hope you like it. Oh, and since I don't have a beta all mistakes are mine.

Distribution: Please! Just let me know.

Feedback: Please!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Supernatural. I wish I did though.

Chapter one: Packing

A 22 year old Dean Winchester unlocked the front door of his family's most recent apartment. He was uncharacteristically happy. He had received some great news today and was walking down the hallway to his little brother's room to share the news with him.

He did a quick double knock on his brother's door and without waiting for an answer pushed the door open, "Hey, Sammy, you aren't going to believe -" Dean's sentence trailed off as he saw the inside of Sam's room. Everything was gone, the open closet was empty and the bed was stripped.

"Sam?" Dean yelled and turned around to walk back down the short hallway. Just as he reached the small common room the door swung open to reveal John Winchester, Dean's father.

"Sam's leaving" John said simply and Dean felt as if he had been sucker punched. "He's going to California" John added not bothering to hide the bitterness in his voice.

Before Dean could ask anymore question 18 year old Sam Winchester walked though the door and retrieved the lone box that was waiting there for him. As soon as he walked in John started yelling. Sam and John were in a verbal punching match but it went by Dean in a blur. Sam was what? Then Dean heard his father's voice, "If you leave. Don't bother coming back" and without another word Sam was out the door.

Without thinking Dean ran out of the room and into the hallway of the rundown apartment complex, "Sammy…" The apartment door slammed itself shut behind Dean. Sam slowly dropped the box from his hands as he turned to face his brother and the box hit the floor with a soft thud.

"So, there's something you should know" Sam said slowly as tears gathered in his eyes.

"You're leaving…obviously" Dean answered, "Where are you going to go?"

"I applied to college, Stanford, I got in. That's where I'm going" Sam answered.

"I didn't even know you were seriously considering that" Dean answered, his eyes glazing over as he put on his poker face. "How could you not tell me you were applying to college?"

"You would havetried to talk me out of it and I couldn't let that happen. Dean, if I don't get out now, I might never" Sam answered.

"Why do you have to get out?" Dean asked, what's so wrong with me and dad? He added in his mind.

"This is your life, not mine" Sam answered, "I never wanted this"

Dean shrugged, he couldn't change his mind, well, he probably could if he really tried but it was clear that Sam wouldn't be happy here and all his life Dean has always tried to make Sammy happy. "Go then" was all that Dean said.

Sam looked like he wanted to say something, but he never did. They held each other's gaze for a long moment before Sam picked his box up from the floor and walked out of the apartment building.

As soon as Dean walked back into the apartment he could hear his dad cursing and throwing things behind his closed room door and Dean knew full well that John thought he couldn't be heard through the door.

Dean walked to his room and slammed the door shut. He pressed play on his boom box and the Metallica CD that was all ready in there started to play so loudly that Dean all most really couldn't hear John in the other room.

Dean crossed the small room and sat on his bed. He buried his face in his hands and finally let his thoughts overcome him.

Sammy left. And, yeah, that sucked, but all in all that wasn't why Dean was mad. Okay, well, it wasn't most of why Dean was mad. Sam, his Sammy was going to college. Stanford, too, and from what Dean knew that was no easy college to get into. And Dean hadn't even known that Sammy had applied, let alone got in and was going. Was he really that bad of a brother that Sammy, who he'd practically raised (and that was no easy feat) didn't even tell him he was getting the hell out of dodge just as soon as he could?

Dean sat straight up and whipped the one tear that had fallen off his cheek when he heard the loud knock on his door. "Yeah"

"We're leaving tomorrow, get packed" Was all his dad said before retreating back to his own room.

It was two months before Dean called Sam. Him and his dad were in some cheep motel outside of Montana and his dad was in the shower. He didn't know if he was relieved or angry when the phone clicked over to voice mail.

"Hey, you've reached Sam Winchester, leave a message or try me at home. Later."

Dean could hear some chick in the background and for a split second he was jealous, sounded like Sammy was getting his normal, so he hesitated before leaving his message, "Hey Sam, its me, just wanted to know if you got to Stanford okay and everything, so I'll talk to you later."

Dean folded his phone shut and threw it across the room to land on top of his coat with a little more force than necessary before laying back on the bed and turning on the TV.

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