Disclaimer: Dick owns 'em

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Olivia hung up the phone and tried to piece together everything Jessica had just told her. Alex had a niece? Alex was having a panic attack on the bathroom floor? What the hell was going on? She quickly grabbed her keys and headed out, praying her former lover was okay.

They had first met when Alex had been transferred to SVU crimes, and had felt an instant connection. Olivia had already told everyone about her attraction to women, but Alex had never even admitted it to herself. Alex had always been an extremely kind and loving person, but she was also incredibly private and secretive. She had told Olivia that she had a sister who had been raped and later killed in a car accident, but that was all she had ever said, and Olivia was the only one who knew. She had also been willing to go out with Olivia several times, but had always cringed whenever Olivia had tried to touch her. Olivia had always attributed it to Alex's questioning of her sexuality. That's what had originally driven them apart. Now, as she sped down the highway, siren blaring in an attempt to get other traffic out of the way, Olivia wondered if there was something more to Alex's story than she had been told.

Finally, she reached Alex's apartment building and took the elevator up. "Come on baby," she prayed as she made her way down the hall. "Please be okay." She knocked on the door and waited.

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Jessica opened the door cautiously. She was about to ask the woman if she was Olivia when she noticed her eyes. They were full of love and worry. She smiled weakly. "I don't think she believed me when I told her you were coming."

Olivia nodded solemnly. "She had her reasons."

"Well come on in. She's in her room."

Olivia stepped inside. "Thank you for calling me."

Jessica shrugged, as if the task had been no big deal. "She wanted me to," she said simply.

Olivia nodded as she made her way towards the bedroom. She noticed that Jess nervously sat down on the couch. Olivia smiled. "She's staying to make sure everything's okay." Olivia said to herself as she knocked gently on the door and made her way in.

"Alex, it's Liv." She walked over and sat down on the bed next to her. "What happened Al?"

Tears welled in Alex's eyes as she turned over to face the woman she loved. "I'm sorry."

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex and pulled her close. "It's okay, Al. you don't have to apologize. You haven't done anything wrong."

"I pulled you out of work."

"The city's been lazy today. I was sitting on my ass doing nothing." Olivia assured her as she gently rubbed the younger woman's back.

"But I still pulled you out of work!" Alex exclaimed. She shook her head and tried to pull herself out of Olivia's grasp, but Olivia wouldn't budge. "I shouldn't have asked her to call you. I feel so stupid. It was nothing."

Olivia let go of Alex and looked her in the eyes. "Alexandra Cabot," she staid sternly, "You are not stupid and this was not nothing. God when I heard how scared Jessica sounded on the phone, I knew something was wrong."

"It was nothing, really," Alex said unconvincingly.

"Would you stop being so damn stubborn!" Olivia said, louder than she'd expected. She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "I'm worried about you. I still love you, you know."

"You don't even know me." Alex said coldly as she stood up and began to make her way towards the door, hoping to make Olivia feel unwanted so she would leave.

"Alex, please," Olivia begged. "Stop being so-"

"Stubborn?" Alex interrupted angrily as she turned to face Olivia. "Well guess what? I'm a lawyer. I have to be stubborn."

"Not with me you don't," Olivia said gently, trying to coax the woman back to bed. "God Al, you don't always have to be okay. You don't always have to be happy. If you're hurting or need help, tell someone. It kills me to see you hurting like this."

"I'm fine, really." Alex said, trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince Olivia.

Olivia's expression turned even more serious as she intentionally met Alex's eyes. "Then why did your niece find you in a ball on the bathroom floor?"

Alex couldn't take it any longer. She couldn't argue, she couldn't fight, she just couldn't do it. Olivia's eyes were staring into the depths of her soul and she just couldn't hide anymore. She didn't have the strength to do it. She had to let it out. She had to tell someone. She just prayed she didn't explode. "You want to know why I'm so upset?" she asked angrily, not knowing any other way of getting it out.

"Al, please-" Olivia pleaded.

"Well, I'll tell you why I'm so upset. That girl, she walked into my office today and all I could think about was my sister getting raped while I watched."

Alex took a deep breath and Olivia tried to interrupt. "Al, honey-"

"I tried to tell Max that when I was fourteen, I had a baby," Alex continued. "Do you know what his reaction was?" When Olivia didn't answer immediately, Alex's anger intensified. "Well, do you?"

"Alex, I-"

"He left me! He left me Olivia! He left me before I even got the chance to tell him I was raped by the same man who raped my sister! I wanted to tell him everything, but he wouldn't let me. He just stood up and left! I called Jess because I really, honestly want to get to know her. I still do. I need to get to know her. I thought that maybe we could grab an early dinner and then I could deal with Max and everything. When I got into the bathroom and took off my robe, I saw this," she said, showing Olivia her scars for the first time. "I just lost it. I can't…I-I couldn't…I…it's too…I-I-I…" Alex collapsed into hysterical sobs.

Olivia rushed over to Alex's side and threw her arms around her as they slowly sank to the floor. She pulled Alex closer as the woman buried her face into Olivia's chest. "Let it out, Al. Just let it all out." Olivia said softly as she gently combed her fingers through Alex's long blonde hair. Her heart broke at Alex's words, and when she saw Alex's scars, she vowed to make up for any pain she'd caused her in the past.

Alex fell asleep in Olivia's arms. Olivia gently helped her to her feet, hoping to not awaken her completely, and helped her into bed.

"Hey, Liv?" Alex said, pulling the covers up to her chin and curling into a ball.

"Yeah?"

"Tell Jess I'm sorry for scaring her; and thank her for calling you."

Olivia smiled and took Alex's hand. "I will. Get some sleep. I'll crash on the sofa tonight. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you."

"I love you, Al."

When Alex just stared at the wall, Olivia closed the door softly. Alex needed to rest. Now wasn't the time to try to rekindle their old relationship.