Title: Behind Those Eyes

Author: Katie

Story Summary: A look at the Winchester life between Sam leaving and the pilot.

Spoilers: None really, at least not so far but a general understanding of the show would help

Ratings: PG for language

Pairing: None

Authors Note: I hope you like it. Oh, and since I don't have a beta all mistakes are mine.

Distribution: Please! Just let me know.

Feedback: Please!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Supernatural. I wish I did though.

Chapter Four: Do or Die

Dean Winchester was 25 years old the first time he was truly scared.

Dean was bored. He was sitting on the only bed in his tiny hotel room while his dad was somewhere in the Pacific Ocean hunting some lock ness esq. monster. Since John was out of cell phone range he had made Dean promise not to take any jobs. And honestly, Dean could use the rest anyway, he had gotten pretty beaten up at their last job, that's why he was sitting in a crappy hotel room in Washington instead of in the Ocean with his father.

But Dean had never been one to just sit around so he got dressed and headed out. The town wasn't too big or exciting but it did have a bar and that was really all Dean needed to entertain himself.

Three and a half hours later Dean was back in his hotel room. He was 7 phone numbers and about 250 dollars richer…he always was good at pool.

He took a quick shower, threw on a pair of boxers and went to bed. Two and a half hours later Dean shot up in bed and took in a deep gasp of air. He hadn't woken up like that in a long, long time. Not since that damn demon had took his mom away. That night he had shot awake, exactly the same way, worried about his little brother for seemingly no reason. So he'd laid back down and a few minutes later he heard his mom screaming from Sammy's room. He couldn't ignore it this time, maybe it was nothing, a dream from a brother who hadn't seen the most important person to him in too damn long, but if it wasn't nothing he would never be able to forgive himself.

Dean grabbed his cell phone form the bedside table and highlighted 'Sammy Cell' before pressing send. Sam didn't answer but that was no real shock, Dean waited and when the phone clicked over to voice mail, "Sammy, call me or text me or something..." Dean ordered, "Please" He added, pleading, needing to know his brother was okay.

Since Dean didn't have the ability to find anything out any other way he grabbed some clothes and threw them on. The plan was to find a place with internet access open so he could check hospitals and morgues.

He was grabbing his keys when his cell phone rang. He picked the phone up from the night table and checked the caller ID only to see a number he didn't recognize. But it did have a California area code. "Hello" Dean answered.

"Hello, is this Mr. Dean Winchester?" An overly polite voice he didn't recognize asked.

Depends on who you ask Dean thought to himself. He hated to volunteer his real name to just anyone but it was too damn early to try to think of a way around it and still get the information he might need from this man so a quick "Yeah" was all he gave.

"Hello, my name it Dr. Brown, head of the trauma unit at Stanford's hospital. I'm very sorry to be calling you like this but your brother, Samuel Winchester was in a car accident a few hours ago and you are listed as his next of kin, so you must be consulted for any major decisions."

Dean couldn't even think. He walked backwards until his back hit the cold wall and he slid down until he was sitting on the floor, the chair not even five feet away didn't even register. Dean remembered, the day after Sammy's 18th birthday. John had filled out the paper work so that they were each other's next of kin. His logic had been that while he might not always be at the same place as them at the same time he might not be able to make important decisions but (he thought) Sam and Dean, the inseparable brothers that they were, would always be together, that worked out great Dean thought to himself.

"Mr. Winchester?" The voice from the phone Dean had forgotten he was holding asked out.

"Where?" Dean finally asked. The doctor told him the address and Dean said he'd be there as soon as possible. Dean threw his things in his duffle bag, threw that in the Impala and drove as fast as he could toward California.

He hated California. He'd tried to avoid it ever since Sam had moved to Palo Alto. To him California was just one huge reminder that his brother didn't want him in his life. He'd only been out to California three times since Sam left. He'd went with his dad to 'watch out for Sammy' – bull, they spied. John went out at least once a month, more most of the time. Dean could do that…he just couldn't.

Several hours and many cups of coffee later Dean arrived at the hospital. He sat in his car staring at the large building in front of him for a minute before finally going in.

He found the front desk and after a moment of 'I don't want to take a seat I want to see my brother' they directed him to Sam's room.

Dean stood outside of room 319 looking in the large glass window at his baby brother laying in a small white bed, sheets pulled to his shoulders and hooked up to several machines Dean couldn't even begin to guess the use for.

He was frozen. He couldn't move if his life depended on it. Some girl gave him a questioning look as she passed him and walked into Sam's room. She sat in the uncomfortable chair to the left of Sam's bed and just watched him.

Dean closed his eyes what the hell am I doing here Dean thought to himself. He turned on his heels and started to walk out but he couldn't do it, he couldn't just leave his little brother, not when their was any chance Sammy might need him. He turned around again and was standing in front of that stupid glass window. He closed his eye and took a deep breath before slowly opening the door and walking in.

The girl sitting by Sam's bed looked up at him with obvious questions in her eyes. But her presence hardly even registered with Dean. He walked to the opposite side of the bed and stood in front of the uncomfortable that was resting there. He looked down at his baby brother unable to think.

The girl's voice was what finally broke Dean from his thoughts. "Hi…" It was tentative, like she wasn't sure, "I'm Jessica…everyone calls me Jess though…I'm his girlfriend" She was trying to be nice…polite.

"Dean…his brother" Dean wasn't.

A nurse came into the room breaking the awkward silence and proceeded to pull the disgustingly clean sheets down to Sam's waist so she could check whatever she needed to check with Sam.

When she did Dean noticed something….Sam looked fine. Not a scratch on him. Not one bump or bruise, not a cut, not even the smallest mark. "I thought he was in a car accident" It was Dean's turn to break the silence.

"He was" the nurse answered, clearly confused by the question.

The door sung open again and this time a middle aged doctor came in. Dean noticed that his name tag read Doctor Andrew Brown and it took Dean a moment to recall where he knew that name from.

"Are you Dean Winchester?" The doctor asked him.

Dean just nodded as he turned to face him. The doctor took Dean to his office and told him that Sam had been involved in a single car accident. He was driving home from the library and for whatever reason lost control of the vehicle; it spun about four times before settling in a ditch by the road.

That sound like a bad accident was all Dean could think to himself. "Why does he look fine?" Dean asked the question he had been wondering earlier.

"That's something that we're not sure about, all of his damage seems to be internal, however we have been unable to locate the root of it. He just seems unable to wake up. Also, he's growing weaker all the time, so I guess I was wondering if you had any information that could shine some light on this." Dr. Brown answered knowing that was a lot of information to throw out at someone all at once.

"No…I mean I only know his medical history until he came to Stanford" Dean said as if he was realizing it as he said it, "But up until that, nothing like this."

Dean and the doctor talked for a little while longer before Dean went back to Sammy's room. He sat in the chair next to the bed opposite of Jessica. "Sammy got a car?"

Jessica smiled, "No, it was our friend Brian's car, Sam was just borrowing it"

Dean nodded yep, that's why I never let him borrow the Impala

Dean noticed the lap top bag with an AC/DC sticker on it resting in the corner and smiled to himself. He'd never forget taking Sam to that concert. He had skipped school that day to go buy a ticket for that concert and he wasn't sure why he bought an extra ticket but he did. He picked Sam up from the eighth grade and told him he had got his tickets to AC/DC and Sammy told him to buy him a T-shirt. Dean had rolled his eyes and told him to buy it himself. He then reminded Sam that he had never been to a real concert before and 'there was no better way to do a first concert than AC/DC' so he was taking Sam to a great first concert!

"That Sam's lap top?" He asked.

"Oh, yeah…I was using it…I was at the library when I heard" Jessica answered.

"Can I see it?" Dean asked and Jessica nodded before handing it to him.

"You have to --" Jessica started to explain how the lap top works because it was old are their were some tricks to it but Dean cut her off.

"I know how it works, I bought it" Dean told her. Dean bought the computer for Sam on his birthday in the middle of his sophomore year of high school. Dean had saved all his money until he had enough to buy the one thing Sam had been asking for since the fifth grade, that stupid lap top.

Something about this whole car crash situation wasn't sitting quite right with Dean. He opened the lap top and did as good of a search as he could with the all most not-existent and all speculation information he had.

Three hours later Jessica was asleep, her head resting on the bed next to Sam's hand.

Two hours after that Dean had found three other people who had about the same thing happen to them. All three had died.

One and a half hours after that Dean found an almost random posting done by a man, his younger brother had died at the hands of whatever this was and he has been spending the rest of his life trying to track down the thing that killed his brother.

A half an hour later Jessica woke up and Dean realized how long he'd been on the computer. He pulled the power cord from the bag and plugged the computer into an open socket so it wouldn't die out on him.

Dean shut down the computer to let it rest and looked at his little brother. He wasn't even sure that this wasn't just your garden variety car wreck; all he knew was that something about this didn't feel right and he couldn't do nothing. Even if this wasn't Supernatural, he couldn't just sit and watch his kid brother die.

Jessica went to get something to eat and brought Dean back a cup of coffee. Dean had to smile. That was it – what Sam wanted all along. Normal.

Two hours later Dean's cell phone rang and he had the childish hope that it would be his father whom he'd tried to contact every way he could think of knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to. It was Caleb, a family friend who he called to try and help track down the guy that made that post. "Hey" he answered.

"Got 'em" Caleb answered triumphantly. Caleb told Dean the name and address of the man, Rich Tucker, 34 years old, and currently residing only three hours away.

Dean closed his phone and looked over at Sammy. Jessica had gone to talk to some of their college friends that had showed up.

He smoothed the blankets over his brother before reaching down and brushing hair out of his eyes. He closed his eyes tightly and just stood over his brother a second before walking out.

Three and a half hours later Dean's car was parked out side of Rich Tucker's house. He didn't know exactly why he was there – what exactly he hoped to get from this man, but he had to do something.

He slowly got out of his car and walked to Rich Tucker's door. He knocked and a few moments later a tired looking old man appeared.

"Hi, my name is Dean, I saw your post about something Supernatural killing your younger brother a while back, and I just wanted to ask you some questions abut that"

"No…no more reporters…I'm no crazy…" the older than his years man mumbled as he started to shut the door.

But Dean held his hand out, preventing the man from closing the door. "I'm not a reporter. I'm looking for your help" Dean said and the man stopped pushing the door. He didn't re-open the door, he merely stopped closing it.

"I read something you said online. You said that this thing took your little brother from you" Dean started and the door slowly started to re-open. "Please…please don't let it take mine from me too" The door finally opened and Rich let him inside.

"It…it has your brother?" Rich asked his voice thick with terror and concern.

"Yeah, and I need to know everything you can tell me about it." Dean said and Rich let him inside. Rich sat in a chair in his living room and Dean sat across from him, on a couch.

"I never saw it, I'm not crazy, I never believed in ghosts or any of that shit, but this man came to help…told me that some demon had his hold on my little brother, showed me enough proof to make me believe." Rich paused and shook his head a little as if trying to force his thoughts back on track, "My little brother was in a car crash on his way home from a friend's house one night, but it didn't add up. He didn't have any marks on him – not even the smallest scratch, they couldn't even find any internal damage – he was just in a coma that they couldn't bring him out of." Rich took a deep breath, "That man told me that a demon had him. He tried to help me, but it was too late for…" He took in another deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, "I don't know who he was, but he gave me these," He walked to a locked cabinet and pulled out two black, braided leather bracelets. "He said that they protect you from the demon. But only one works at a time, so you put this one on" he handed Dean the active bracelet, "and you out this one on your brother" he handed Dean the second bracelet after he had the active one on. "It won't just wake him up and make everything okay, but if you can find a way to wake him up, once he's awake, if you take off your bracelet, his will become active and stay that way unless you put your back on and he takes his off. As long as he is wearing that, the demon can't get him"

Dean took in a long breath, trying to absorb everything. He didn't even know that something like a bracelet could protect against a certain demon, must have been blessed by a priest with the blood of the Demon Dean thought to himself. "You have no idea who it was that gave you these, and told you all of this?" Dean asked.

Rich shook his head, "Said his name was Led Zeppelin, but I'm pretty sure that was untrue" Rich smiled, "Sorry"

Dean smiled and shook his head, "How sure are you about these?" Dean gestured to the bracelets.

Rich shrugged, "Never tested 'em."

Dean had to laugh. "Thanks. Is that all, do you know anything else?"

"Thanks everything" Rich answered.

Dean stood up, "well…thank you" he answered pocketing the second bracelet. He shook Rich's outstretched hand and left his cell phone number with him.

It was a long ride back to the hospital for Dean. He had to stop more than once for coffee. What he really needed to do was sleep – he hadn't gotten around to that yet – he couldn't – not when Sam was…he didn't even want to think about it.

When Dean got back to the hospital he went straight to Sam's room and saw Jessica sitting by Sam's bed. "Any change?" he asked and she jumped at the sound of his voice, obviously not having heard him come in.

"He just keeps getting weaker and they don't know why." Jessica answered tears evident in her voice.

"He's going to be just fine" Dean answered, his voice full of confidence. Dean fastened the second bracelet around his brother's wrist, "Make sure he doesn't take that off" Dean said to Jessica and she nodded.

Dean opened Sam's lap top and started researching, breaking ever couple of hours to get coffee and try (to no anvil) to get a hold of his father.

After 7 hours, 16 cups of coffee, and 9 fruitless phone calls, Dean had a plan. A kind of shaky plan that Dean wasn't all to sure would work, but the longer Sam was in that hospital bed the harder it would be to get him out of it, so it was do or die time, and in Dean's life no one had ever mistaken him for the kind of guy would just lay down and die.

This demon only came around every ten years or so and always in the same general area. Always takes one person, same MO every time. The car crash, no marks, because the person never really goes through the crash. The demon pulls them from the car and does his thing, the car crashes and the demon puts the guy back in the car and the hospital holds him, keeps him alive so the demon can slowly drain the life out of him. The facts were few and far between, this thing only came along every ten years and even then only took one person so no one had really put the dots together before. Dean knew it had to manifest somewhere…somewhere close. He did some more digging and found an old abandoned warehouse a few blocks from the hotel that people have been seeing weird unexplainable lights from and heard inhuman noises. Well, at least I know where I'll be tonight Dean thought to himself.

He knew he was going to that old warehouse tonight, and he knew that he didn't have all that facts. That he didn't know everything that he should before going after something like this, but time was a luxury that he wasn't being afforded this time around and he had a feeling that after tonight he will have either won or died, but either way Sammy was going to be just fine, he would make sure of that.

He pulled a notebook and a pen from Sam's lap top bag. He wrote a letter to Sam, telling him that he was sorry, for everything, and that Sam meant more to him than anything. He finished by writing that he loved him and folded the paper and walking to the postal office closets to Stanford University. He bought a safety deposit box and left the note inside. He got the key and stuffed it in an envelope; he wrote Caleb's address on it and sent it out.

On the walk back to the hospital he called Caleb and told him that if he didn't hear from Dean by the end of the week he should send the envelope to Sam, and that he would be by to pick up the envelope within the month…if he could.

He got back to the hospital about an hour before night fall. He spent the time in Sam's room. His hand resting on Sam's arm, him pacing, staring at his brother, praying this wasn't the last time he saw Sammy.

Jessica left the room, to go get something to eat, or at least that was what she said. Dean brushed hair out of Sam's eyes and choked back tears, "I love you kid" he whispered before lightly kissing his brother's forehead.

He walked to his car and sat for a moment with arm straight out, his hand gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were a scary shade of white. He leaned his head against his arm; he took in a shaky breath, trying to calm himself. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head once before putting the keys in the ignition and drove to the warehouse.

It only took a minute to drive the two blocks, he could have walked, but he was planning to take quite a few weapons up with him and didn't think that walking down the streets of Palo Alto with all those weapons would be a good idea.

He parked out side of the warehouse and grabbed 2, one full of rock salt and one full of iron rod bullets. He strapped a knife to his shin and gathered some other random weapons before taking a deep shaky breath and going in. He stood in the center of the warehouse, not quite sure what he was looking for.

He didn't have to wait long. After a few moments a swirling white and blue light appeared a few feet from Dean. The lights swirled faster and faster until a creature appeared. It looked like a man only taller and with a hunch back, bald and a sickly shade of gray all over. The demon held his hand, palm up in front of him and a swirling circle of green light appeared, the demon threw the ball at Dean but it passed right through him and crashed into the wall behind him, blowing up an old desk that was resting there.

The demon looked confused and Dean smiled. "Here's my theory, you wanna hear it?" Dean had to play this like he was confident, it was a front, but that was something that he could keep to himself, hell – he perfected his poker face at age 12. "I have this cute little bracelet and while I'm wearing it, you can't actually hurt me." Dean raised his arm so the demon could see the braided leather circling his wrist. The demon growled and Dean smirked.

"I can't hurt you…" the demon admitted in a low gravely voice, "But they can." He added and three shorter demons came out from hiding places around the room. They surrounded Dean and without missing a beat he shot the first one with a iron rod bullet and it disappeared after dying, he shot the other two and they did the same.

Dean shot the demon with a rock salt bullet and it visibly recoiled, "You can't hurt me, but I can sure as hell hurt you – I can kill you -"

"But you won't" the demon cut him off, 'Because I have a hold on your little baby brother" the demon mocked and held his hand out again and this time the light that swirled there was red and after a moment there was a picture of Dean standing over Sam at the hospital in the center of it.

Another one of the smaller demons appeared to the left of Dean, trying to sneak up on him, Dean didn't even turn to look at it when he shot it.

"What I'm here for is simple; I want you to let my brother go." Dean said and the demon smiled.

A smaller demon was sneaking up behind Dean. Its arms out stretched and its hand glowing fiery red.

"Why would I do that, I need your brother, without him I'll die" The demon answered.

"If you keep you're hold on him, I'll kill you" Dean answered his voice low. "I'm willing to make a trade…could you be any louder?" Dean asked turning slightly so he could see the small demon trying to sneak up on him. It stopped dead in tracks and Dean didn't even blink when he shot it.

The demon told all the lesser demons to go and Dean saw several flashes of light as they disappeared. "This trade you were talking about?"

"It's simple, if you let him go, you can do whatever you want with me." Dean shook his head once, "Take me instead." Dean finished his voice portraying confidence he didn't really possess.

The demon looked like it was deciding, "Think about it, you can do whatever you want to me and I won't fight it, I'm older than him, stronger, it's smart, take my life for his." Dean said and the demon just stared at him.

"Fine" it growled, "Get rid of that thing" it added with disgust.

There is no way I look that stupid Dean thought to himself. "No, you have to let my brother go, you have to show me" Dean answered.

The demon held his hand out again, the red lights swirling and a picture of Sam slowly waking up and Jessica throwing his arms around him played out in the center of it immediately. Dean was about to demand more proof until his cell phone rang. "Hello" he mumbled into it absently.

"This is Dr. Brown from the hospital, Mr. Winchester I just wanted to inform you that your brother has woken up and we still have some tests to run but from we can tell right now he looks fine" Dean folded his cell phone closed and stuffed it back in his pocket.

He fingers the braided leather on his wrist for a moment before unfastening it and letting it fall. Dean hit the ground before the bracelet did.

Twenty-three and a half hours later Dean opened his eyes and saw the demon standing over him. "What's going on?" Dean groaned, hating that he sounded so helpless but he knew that he was. He tried to move but couldn't, that's when he noticed that he couldn't feel anything either. He cast his eyes downward and could just barley make out all the marks, and blood that laced his body.

"You can't feel anything because I'm making it that way" the demon answered his unasked question. "You are stronger than I thought, I didn't need all of you and what I took from your brother to survive" the demon's low gravely voice informed him. "I'm still having my fun…this won't be the last you see of me" and a moment later the blue and while lights swirled in the air and the demon disappeared.

The second he did Dean screamed out in pain. Finally able to move he looked down at himself. Covering in more blood than he'd ever seen before and large long lacerations that he knew would scar. He tried to move but every thing hurt too much. He just laid there for a long moment hating the helplessness but not knowing what else to do.

After a long time Dean finally stood up. He gripped everything he could on his path out of the building knowing that he couldn't stand (let alone walk) on his own. He picked up his weapons on his way out, he wanted to leave them but they had his prints all over them and he didn't think that was something the cops needed to find. After a long few minutes he made it back to his car and collapsed in the seat. He just sat there, trying to breath for a long time before driving to the first shity motel he could find. He pulled a hoddie and long black pants on to hide his viscous marks, he pulled the hood up to cover his face before buying a room and puling the first aide kit in with him. He cleaned out the wounds before stitching the ones that he could and wrapping practically his whole body.

Two days later when he could walk on his own again he drove to the hospital. He stood out side his brother's room watching him through the large glass window. He saw Sammy sitting on the bed and Jessica next to him. They were talking and laughing.

Sam saw him through the window and stopped. They just started at each other for a long moment before Dean smirked and half waved at his little brother. Sam smiled and waved back before Dean walked out.

Dean sat back down in his car; he took in a deep breath and smiled before starting the car and driving the hell out of Palo Alto.

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The responce to this fic has been amazing, thank you so much to every one who has reviewed, you guys make me SO happy! I know my chapters take a while to come out, thats cause I normally write much shorter chapters but I decided to do each year as one chapter so they are longer! Any how, I hope you like it, the next chapter will be the last one.

Please review!