THIS IS A SONGFIC CHAPTER!

I DO NOT OWN THIS IS SONG (I WISH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL) Linkin Park do. Not me.

Now for the chapter….

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

Kenshin POV

It had been nine months since we had started looking for her. And for nine months we haven't found her, yet. I swear I will find you Kaoru.

This is my December
This is my snow covered home
This is my December
This is me alone

I never meant to say those things to her; I never knew it would drive her away. I wish that I could take it all back, and that I would have told her that I loved her, instead of what I didn't say.

And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed

And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said to you

And now all I want to do is hold her and tell her I am so sorry and that I love her and I will never stop, no matter who or what she is. And now all I wish is that I would go back and change that and then she would come home to us, to me.

And I
Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

God, what I wouldn't do just to see her eyes, her beautiful blue eyes, I want to see her face, the way her dimple shows when she smiles, or when her nose crinkles up when she's mad. And the way her tongue hangs out a bit in the corner of her mouth when she concentrates. And then the way her eyes shine in the moon, or the way her hair glistens in the sun.

Or the way she looks like an angel when she sleeps, or the anything she does, I wish I could see that. I have dreams and I go to reach out for her, and she disappears in thin air, I want to see her, for real, not a image that I dream of. The snow falls so slow, like grains in time. Time that I have looked for her. Time I have thought what I did wrong, what I could of done better. I keep up a face that I am strong but without her, I am only a mirage.

This is my December
These are my snow covered trees
This is me pretending
This is all I need

I sometimes wake up, and I feel a breeze of jasmine and I bolt up and all I see is darkness and the snow still falls, and I realize it was a dream. And then the sleepless nights that I spend trying to remember her voice, her last words to me where "I love you" and I say goodnight, all I say is goodnight, when all I wanted was to say it back.

And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said to you

All I wish is for her to come through those doors and say I am home. And I would gather her in my arms and say welcome home Kaoru. But all I see is snow and closed doors. Yahiko has been so brave; he is still gone with Sano looking for his sister, I wait here incase she returns, I have never given up. I looked for two months all over Japan and I never found her. I wish I could tell her the same thing she told me after Kyoto, welcome home but I do not know when.

And I
Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

I am going to keep looking for her, she has to know I love her, I promise Kaoru that I will find you, I swear it. The snow reminds me of Tomoe and I now think of Kaoru. The snow, so pure and every one is different in shape and size, all perfect. The snow came early and blanketed everything yet we kept searching for her.

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

I wish that I had told her what I felt, but I couldn't say anything. I would look over the whole world to gold her in my arms and tell her things, anything just as long as she knew that I loved her, and that we would watch the cherry blossoms together. I promised her. And as long as I loved her I would keep looking.

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to
Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to.

Kaoru, I will bring you home, home back to me, back to where we sat under the tree and watched the flowers, where we told each other we loved each other, where I would tell her I wanted to be with her forever. She would be with me, and I would see her eyes sparkle in the moonlight, and her hair that still glistened in the sun. And I would make her laugh so that I could see the dimple next to her mouth. And the way she would crinkle her nose when I mad her mad or just to know that anything, at least I wouldn't be dreaming, and that she wouldn't disappear when I held her.

I love you Kaoru, and I will bring you back, I promise.