Disclaimer: Dick owns 'em

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Olivia walked back out into the living room and saw Jessica scrubbing the counters. She smiled. "You know she's going to kill you for cleaning her apartment."

Jessica looked up, her eyes full of tears. "I…I couldn't just sit here and do nothing," she said as she continued to scrub the same small spot.

Olivia walked over to the counter and took the rag from her. "Stop cleaning, Jess. You've done her dishes. You've scrubbed her kitchen floors. You've dusted her dining room. You've straightened up her living room. Take a break."

Jessica closed her eyes momentarily, then looked up to face Olivia. "Does she totally hate me now?"

"What?"

"Because it would be okay if she did! Did I just make a mistake by coming here?"

"Honey, look at me," Olivia said as she walked around the counter and placed her hand on the girl's shoulder. "She doesn't hate you. She told me to tell you that she's sorry for scaring you, and that she still really wants to get to know you."

"She apologized?" Jessica asked, completely ignoring the fact that Olivia had said Alex still wanted to get to know her.

"Yea," Olivia said, sighing.

Jessica shook her head, "But she didn't do anything wrong! I should be the one apologizing for coming here and ruining her life!"

"Jess, you haven't ruined her life. If anything, you've helped her open up about something I doubt she's ever really told anyone."

Jess closed her eyes as a few tears fell. "You saw her scars didn't you?"

Olivia nodded and led Jessica out to the couch. "She's hurting, and badly. Something terrible happened to her and I think she's just now stating to deal with it."

"It's my fault she's so upset. She was fine until I came along."

"Sweetie, it isn't your fault," Olivia said, putting her arm around her.

Jess' eyes filled with tears but she refused to let any of them fall. "I was just so happy when I found her that I had to meet her. I guess I should have thought about the possibility of my coming here ruining her life."

Olivia squeezed her gently. "Jess, you've got to stop blaming yourself for this. It's not your fault. She doesn't blame you. In fact, she still really wants to get to know you," Olivia said again, figuring Jessica had been too upset to hear it earlier.

Jess looked up, still fighting the tears. "Really?"

"Absolutely. She mentioned your name and her eyes lit up. She doesn't think you ruined her life. I don't think you've ruined her life. Face it kid. You haven't ruined her life."

Jessica smiled weakly. "I guess I just…I hope she doesn't hate me."

"Well, judging by what I've seen from you today, I can almost guarantee that's not going to happen. You're still interested in meeting her, despite what you've seen. That's going to mean a lot to her. She's not going to hate you, Jess. That's not the kind of person she is." They were silent for several minutes, trying to absorb everything. They were both exhausted, and they knew they needed to get some sleep. Olivia was the first to break the silence. "So, it's getting pretty late. You heading home?"

Jess shook her head, "I want to be here when she wakes up. I don't want her to think she scared me off or something."

"And you've just earned yourself a spot on her list of favorite people," Olivia said, smiling. She looked in amazement at this girl, who looked eighteen. She had just met Alex today and she was already ready to help her. "So, Olivia said once the next wave of silence between them became awkward. "Tell me about yourself. I've gotta tell you that if you really plan on sticking around for her, you're going to have to get to know her friends."

"I don't plan on going anywhere."

"Good. Just remember that I'm a cop and I will hunt you down if you ever hurt her."

Jess raised her eyebrows and half-smiled. "Since when are cops and lawyers friends?"

Olivia looked away, not yet ready to let Jess know the truth. It was too soon. "She's helped us out on a lot of cases," Olivia said, hoping to sound convincing. "We've really gotten to know the real her, and not just the stubborn lawyer that lives inside her."

Jess laughed. She couldn't believe how easy it was to talk with this woman. She could tell how highly Olivia thought of Alex. "I can see why she was asking for you. You seem to really care about her."

Olivia smiled. "I do. Our relationship's been a little rocky for the last year or so – and it's a long story, so don't ask – so I was a little surprised to hear that she asked for me. Anyway, you avoided my question."

"What question?"

"Well it wasn't really a question, more of a request, but I asked you to tell me about yourself."

Jess laughed again, surprised that she could do so at a time like this. "I earned a Bachelor's Degree in Graphic Design from NYU two years ago. My boyfriend Allen and I have a small, home-run design business. We make wedding invitations and business party announcements, things like that. I was adopted by Mark and Mary Matthews. Yea, weird names, I know." She hesitated, not knowing what she should tell Olivia. She knew that Alex had once been Sarah, but she wasn't sure if Olivia knew that. If she didn't, she wasn't sure Alex wanted her to. "I found out I was adopted about a year ago and up until today I thought I was Alexandra Cabot's daughter."

"What makes you think you're not? I mean, I know you told me over the phone that you're her niece. Why don't you think you're her daughter?"

"Because there's no way she's old enough to be my mother."

"Why? How old are you?"

"I'll be twenty-five next week."

"Ah, yea. That's definitely impossible. She was six when you were born."

"Told ya."

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Alex laid in bed and listened to the two women talk. She almost fell asleep, but she wanted to hear what they were saying. She had to know if this Jessica girl was for real. Judging from what she could make out, Jess was feeling guilty and really wanted to help. Alex couldn't figure that out. What kind of person is willing to camp out on your sofa and help you get through a lifetime of pain after having met you only hours before?

"Note to self, Cabot," she said quietly. "Buy that girl a really big box of cookies."

Then she started thinking about Olivia. The two of them had always been close. Then Alex had gotten shot and put into Witness Protection because apparently the damn drug lords had become obsessed with killing her. As she was lying there on the pavement, Olivia begging her to hold on, all she wanted to do was die. Everything had been going so well for her, and then that moment. She felt like she would never be happy. She'd insisted on telling Olivia and Elliot that she wasn't dead, but she'd refused to let them see anything from her hospital stay. She knew the doctors had seen her scars, and she didn't want anybody else knowing about them. Two years passed and she hated every single second she was in the program. When Olivia had shown up on her doorstep, telling her that her life was no longer in danger, she was relieved. Finally, something good was happening to her.

It was on the drive back to New York from Tucson that Olivia had come out to her.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, Alex. Do you hate me?"

Alex laughed. "Olivia Benson, you are my best friend. I could never hate you!"

"Are you sure? I mean is this going to make it weird between us?"

"Liv, please, it doesn't bother me."

"Really?"

"Yea, really." Alex smiled. "Have you told anyone at work?"

"They all know."

"And?"

"It doesn't bother them."

"See?"

"Yea, but you're my best friend and-"

"Liv, chill." Alex interrupted. "You're still my best friend. This doesn't change anything."

That night in the hotel room, they had flirted. Alex had even admitted that she felt an attraction to Olivia. They hadn't really done anything – just talked. Alex kept pulling away from Olivia's hands, praying she could keep her secret. From then on, they spent most of their time together. Alex had been shy in public, mainly because she was afraid of letting Olivia get too close. Finally, Olivia couldn't take it anymore. She told Alex she loved her, but that she was leaving. She needed to be with someone who loved her in return. A few weeks later, Alex and Max had met. Alex tried to convince herself that she was really attracted to him, that he was really the one, but she knew in her heart that she could never love him.

"If you only knew how much I love you, Liv," she said quietly.

Now, lying in bed and hearing Olivia's words, she knew she was loved. She wanted to come out and apologize for everything, but at the same time she was still terrified that Olivia was going to leave.

"Come on, Cabot," she said to herself, though not out loud. "She saw your scars and she's still here."

"Yea, but who knows how long that's going to last?" She replied, still silently.

"She told you she still loved you."

"How can you be sure she wasn't just trying to make herself look good?"

"She's out there trying to comfort and get to know Jess. They're trying to figure out how to help you."

"Jesus, Cabot," she said aloud. "You're talking to yourself."

She rolled her eyes and pulled the covers tight, reminding herself that she was going to find a way to repay these two, even if it was the last thing she did.