THIS IS ANOTHER SONGFIC CHAPTER!

I DO NOT OWN THIS EITHER! Sarah McLachlan does, not me, but I wish.

So here is this chapter….

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Kaoru POV:

How long had it been? Almost ten months, ten long months wandering, alone.

I pray that Kenshin is doing alright and that they are well.

I have yet to answer the questions I ask myself every night, I cant answer them, I cant' answer him. I want to just sit in the snow and sleep, forever, and dream of the god times. But I have nightmares, nightmares of Kenshin, where he tells me to leave and that he never loved me, and then I am killed by…him. I look up and while I stare through teary eyes and bleeding he says goodnight and I smile, and say goodnight Kenshin. I cry and stare at the moon and the falling snow and wonder if her thinks of me. I have tried to forget him. But everything I see or do, remind me of him and I cry, I cry because I am weak and I wonder why I am doing this and I stare and think of him.

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

I have messed up so much. I lied to Kenshin and I lied to myself. I don't know who I was anymore. I don't want to be found, I don't deserve to be found, I don't even know if anyone would look for me, I have messed up so much.

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

I miss that day, when Kenshin and I sat and watched the day roll by. We didn't care about anything except each other. You promised you would love me no matter what, but you lied, because I ruined it. I want to change it. I want to go back and never become who I was, this killer and I, maybe would be happier. Maybe I would be with him, and he wouldn't be dead, but then Kenshin would never had stumbled into my love. I tainted my life. The second the I killed those men, I ruined everything. I destroyed everything I held close to my heart. Kenshin, I am so sorry, I ruined everything, I ruined the love, I killed it, just like Mamoru.

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.

I work at jobs here and there trying to make ends meet. I met a nice old lady, but she died and. She told me I was wandering in the wrong direction and that the right way was where my heart led me. I sometimes wonder if I did the right thing, and then I have dreams of where I they pretend I am no there, and when I was dying the passed me like I was nothing. I messed up, and I don't' think I can fix it.

Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

I miss him, I miss his smile and they way he would look and think I wasn't watching him, and they way he would say my name, like it was used so much that he had perfected it. And he was the greatest thing I every let go. I love him, and I messed it all up.

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...