A/N: ;knock, knock, knock; Um, hello? Anyone still there? You can't blame us! We're only almost High School students! And Mike was at camp for most of the summer! And I was in Europe! And Sara… was alone…
Sara: So…alone…for so long…in the dark…;twitches;
… Right… Well, we're finally all together to finish up this plotline! Yes, the last chapter of wishes… So sad.
Mike: But nothing ever ends because we have ANOTHER STORY! Time Traveling Teens, or Man, This is Wrong.
So, quick Disclaimer here- we don't own Gundam SEED, Harry Potter, Naruto, Shrek, the llama song, MasterCard, Looney Tunes, or other various things that we will add as we go on. So, final chapter of the VOP segment- GO!
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Fllay isn't an average being and no one understands
No one gives her orders 'cause she's giving them commands
Fllay (to Kira): PROTECT ME! (Lacus: ….)
Doom and gloom in Kira's room, is created instantly
But the three crazy freaks
(are forced to) give her whatever she seeks
For in reality we are some
Odd People, Very odd people
Sara: ;holding Birdy; Wings and beaks!
Ashley and Mike: ;holding mini-GouFs; KILLING PURPLE-HAIRED (and red-haired…) FREAKS!
Odd People, Very Odd People
Really odd, (Mike: Reeeeally odd. More like scary. Reeeeally scary.) life pod, dress mod, (Ashley only) INSANITY … Not the good kind… Hey, I tried…. ;crickets chirp a lot;
Fllay: Obtuse, rubber GouF, loaded gun, apple juice,
Perfect fate, won't be late, rubber chicken, KIRA DATE (;Locke's knives fly in from random direction; Mike: … Heh…
Odd People, Very Odd People,
It makes you green when you're not the teen,
With Very Odd People,
Sai: ;crying; Yeah right.
;Poof!; ;a sign appears over Sai that says 'dumped';
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Here the scene opened in the typical room to- guess who- Fllay. Fllay wore her civilian dress. Because she's not special enough.
Fllay shook her fist at the ceiling upon hearing the extremely accurate sentence above. "Hey! Meanies!"
"Now, now, now. Are you talking to yourself again…Haro? That can't be healthy…" Pinky flew out of the shadows.
"You know it's true!" Goddess chimed in.
Fllay twitched as she saw Pinky. "You look like my arch-nemesis… The one who stole Kira from me… That Coordinator ;twitch, twitch; who stole Kira from me… MY KIRA! MY KIRA! KIRA IS MINE!.!"
"HE WAS NEVER YOURS TO BEGIN WITH, YOU ;BEEP;!.!."
"OH NO YOU DIDN'T!" Fllay snapped three times in front of her body in a 'Z' formation … sort of… (you know what we mean, right?).
From the shadows, Mike/Tex let out a low whistle. "The Censor had to be censored… The apocalypse has come. You know, I was going to let out all my rage here, but I think Sara- er, Pinky- should have this one."
Goddess nodded. "Yeah… Mike, move over! I'm joining you in there!" She flew into the shadows and quickly set up a bomb shelter… and popcorn.
While this was going on, a scene was unfolding. Pinky grabbed Fllay's hair, and pulled hard, making Fllay screech. "GET OFF ME!" "MAKE ME!" Fllay slapped her. And thus, the fight began…involving nails scratching, blood dripping, hair being ripped from one's scalp, and loud slaps and screeches resonating throughout the land…throughout the land…throughout the land…
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"Wow…TV these days…so violent…" Murrue shook her head.
"CATFIGHT!" Dearka yelled. Milly slapped him. "Why does she hate me so…?"
Kira stared at the TV, shocked and a little happy. "I feel so loved…"
Athrun and Nicol gaped at the television.
"I-I want to tear my eyes away… but I just can't…" Athrun's eyes twitched.
Cagalli walked into the large viewing room (what, where do you think everyone went while we were working on these chapters?) from the restroom. "What'cha watchin'?"
"Wrestling." Athrun said quickly. Too quickly.
Cagalli smacked him. Athrun and Dearka locked eyes and simultaneously gloomed.
"So violent…" Murrue repeated.
Yzak walked in with a girl his own age with long brown hair..
"Yzak?" Dearka asked. "I thought you were supposed to be waiting for your wishes."
"Sai helped me." Yzak explained. "Besides, I wouldn't miss this for the world."
The girl slapped him and glared. Lacus stood up and smiled. "It's nice to meet you! I'm Lacus! What's your name?"
Yzak's companion smiled and waved but didn't say anything.
Yzak explained, "Her name is Shiho. She doesn't have a voice actress, so she can't talk. It's a bit of a sore spot."
Lacus gasped. "I am so sorry!"
Dearka chimed from the couch, from which Milly was sitting on the opposite side, "She's a mime!"
Before Milly could get over there and slap him, Yzak beat her to it. Everyone gasped. Shiho blushed. Yzak went as white as his hair.
"I didn't just stick up for someone." Yzak said in a rushed voice. "Especially someone I like. Or am engaged to. In fact, I just hit him for the sake of hitting him. Because I don't care at all. About anything. Or anyone," he then added in a really small voice, "except Mommy."
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Finally, about after an hour of the fight, Goddess called Sai to help break up the fight and he called Fllay down and Goddess calmed Pinky down (meaning injecting them with sedatives). This worked surprisingly better than that last sentence flowed. FINALLY, when they woke up, Pinky and Fllay were magically bound to opposite walls.
"So, what do you want to wish for?" Pinky asked with the voice of a girl under heavy restraint.
"Well, that isn't hard…" Fllay grinned manically. "I WISH I HAD KIRA IN MY ARMS RIGHT NOW!"
Sai sobbed. "You've had him in your arms already…"
;POOF; In Fllay's arms, there was a newly created Kira…plushie.
"WHAT!.?. I WISHED FOR KIRA!"
"Mike? You wanna explain?" Pinky called to the shadows in a satisfied way.
"You never said the real Kira." Mike smirked in a way worthy of Draco Malfoy's approval.
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A long way away, in another dimension, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Draco Malfoy sneezed.
Pansy, his –coughgirlfriend- smiled at him in a sickeningly sweet way. "Do you need a hanky Dracie-poo?"
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No one saw this smirk, however, because Mike was still in the shadows for some weird reason that no one knew. They heard it though…don't ask how…
"Fine then…meanies…"
Sai breathed a sigh of relief.
"I WISH THAT I COULD SPEND ALL OF TONIGHT IN KIRA'S ROOM!"
Sai choked on air.
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Kira twitched. "Oh, God, no… Not again…"
Lacus sat eerily still. "She's just a poor, confused soul." Inner Lacus then added a la Naruto, "WHO NEEDS AN ASS-WHOOPIN'!.!."
There were no need to voice these thoughts, however, because Luna voiced them for her. If you've never heard a Chibi swear, this is very frightening.
"A lot of Chibis are swearing in this chapter…" Mwu murmured. He then blinked. "Wait, chapter? Why'd I say chapter?"
"Oh, just go with it!" Natarle snapped.
"Don't you yell at my Mwu!" Murrue yelled randomly. She reached over and glomped him. Silence happened. Complete and total silence.
Mwu grinned. "My wish! … Wanna go out on Saturday?"
"No."
"Huuuuh!.?. But that was my-"
"But Sunday's fine."
"Score."
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From the shadows, Mike and Goddess stuttered in disbelief.
"F-family… show… Ahh!.!.!"
Mike randomly started dancing and waving around her Mwurrue pennant. No one could see it, but they could hear it. "What are you doing!" Goddess cried.
"In times of great sadness, we have great joy." She pointed at the segment above.
"Oh. Go Mwu!" Goddess cheered.
"HEY, BACK TO ME!" Fllay shouted.
Pinky smiled, and granted the wish, surprisingly calm. "Well, that's done. Time for the next victim." She beamed in a malicious fashion. "I mean, privileged person."
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Yzak is an average teen (girl…guy…person…girly man…), who no one understands,
Mommy and the Nutcase always giving him commands.
Ezalia: CLEAN YOUR ROOM!
Doom and gloom down in his room, is broken instantly
For the three crazy freaks
Give her whatever he seeks,
For in reality, we are some
Odd People, Very odd people
Sara: ;holding Birdy; Wings and beaks!
Ashley and Mike: ;holding mini-GouFs; KILLING PURPLE-HAIRED FREAKS!
Odd People, Very Odd People
Really odd, life pod, SEED mod, (Ashley only) MOMMA'S BOY!.!.!. ;crickets chirp;
Yzak: Obtuse, rubber GouF, scarred face, apple juice,
Perfect fate, won't be late, rubber chicken, SHIHO DATE! (Mike: HUZZAH! (You'll get this in the next section))
Odd People, Very Odd People,
It makes you green when you're not the teen,
With Very Odd People,
Athrun: Yeah right.
;Poof!; ;Athrun has pink hair;
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Yzak seethed. "I'M WEARING PINK!"
"Ah, the wonders of fanfiction," Goddess smiled as she appeared.
"You actually look rather good in pink!" Pinky sang.
"Yeah, it goes with your eyes," a new Chibi, who looked practically looked identical to Meyrin chimed in.
Yzak stared. "Wait… who are you?"
"I'm Mey-Mey!" There was a pause. "Formally known as Mike, or Mikey, or Tex. I have a thousand names!"
"Whoa, you're that manly girl!"
"Whoa, you're that girly man!" Mey-Mey shot back.
"Point, game, set, and match." Ashley cheered.
Pinky sighed. "I thought we left that joke a long time ago."
Yzak scowled. "Let's cut the chase. I know why I'm here, you know why I'm here. First, I wish for two more wishes not counting this one or the other I would normally have."
Pinky commented, "I can't believe no one thought of that before."
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In the viewing room, many heads were hitting the wall.
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Goddess's jaw had dropped. "How did you come up with that?"
"Sai told me… and I'm smarter than those idiots."
"Oh."
Mey-Mey waved her wand, "Wish granted. Next?"
Yzak grinned wickedly, "I wish that no one can hear my next two wishes."
The three chibis glanced at each other warily as Mey-Mey prepared to grant it.
"Oookay… it's done."
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At that moment, rainbow lines appeared on the TV with the following message: We break away from our original programming to give you this public service announcement.
Suddenly, dozens of dancing wooden dolls popped onto the screen and began to sing, "Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town. Here we have some rules, let us lay them down: Don't make waves, stay in line, and we'll get along fine- Duloc is a perfect place! Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your... FACE. Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perfect... place!"
Dearka stared in utter fascination. "Wow… let's do that again." Milly didn't even reprimand him, because she was gaping at the video like the rest of them.
We now take you back to our original program.
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Back at the ranch- er, room, Mey-Mey was hysteric with joyful laughter and Goddess was hysterically… in tears. Pinky was patting Yzak on the head.
"Good boy!"
"Now that you've finished your wishes you can go." Goddess growled.
With a glittery poof, they all vanished and moved onto their next vict- er (un)lucky person.
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Crueset is an average guy, who no one understands,
Zala always thinks that he is giving him commands.
Rau: BUT HE'S NOT!
Doom and gloom down in her room, is broken instantly
For the three crazy freaks
Give her whatever she seeks,
For in reality, we are some
Odd People, Very odd people
Sara: ;holding Birdy; Wings and beaks!
Ashley and Mike: ;holding mini-GouFs; KILLING PURPLE-HAIRED FREAKS!
Odd People, Very Odd People
Really odd, life pod, SEED mod, (Ashley only) PROVIDENCE! ;crickets chirp;
Rau: Obtuse, rubber GouF, happy pills, apple juice,
Perfect fate, won't be late, rubber chicken, APOCALYPSE DATE!.!.
Odd People, Very Odd People,
It's not fly when you're not the guy,
With Very Odd People,
Kira: Yeah right.
;Poof!; ;gets whacked with a mask;
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Rau stood in a pencil-pusher office wearing a suit and tie as the family friendly theme played for the very last time. He was silent for a moment and then yelled, "Destruction! Wow, how'd I get here?" and then yelled in a very Crocker-like-way, "KIRA MUST DIE!" while spazzing out in many creative ways. (If you've seen Fairly Odd Parents, you'll understand what we mean).
The three Chibis floated down and sighed.
"Do we really have to grant wishes for this crack-pot?" Mey-Mey asked.
"SQUEAKY HAMMER ATTACK!" Pinky howled, whacking Mey-Mey with her hammer.
"Yes! Yes! Unleash your anger inside of you! Fill yourself with hate!" Rau cried.
"Aw, shut up! We already know 'Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering!' We've all seen Star Wars … which we don't own." Goddess chided.
"'Cause if we did," Pinky chimed, "Anakin would be good, Padmé wouldn't have died, and Luke and Leia would never have kissed and had a completely non-dysfunctional childhood!"
"Right…" Rau muttered. "Well, I want my wishes! NOW!" Rau twitched.
"Oh, why do I sense a disturbance in the force?" Goddess muttered, milking the Disclaimer yet again.
"FIRST WISH!" Rau cackled. "I wish … that I had a commercial for my new HAPPY PILLS!.!."
The three Chibis stared. "Wow… That went a lot better than we thought."
POOF!
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At that moment, rainbow lines once again appeared on the TV with the following message: We break away from our original programming to give you this public service announcement.
The screen faded in to show poor Kira crying in his room. A deep voice from above asked, "Hey, now, Kira, what's wrong?"
"Life sucks!" Kira sobbed in a dubbed-over way. "My life is totally messed up! I have to fight my best friend, I'm in a relationship with a crazy girlfriend, I'm in love with said best friend's fiancé, and I'm soon to almost get in a relationship with my twin sister!"
"Well, Kira," the deep voice said, "you know what you gotta do when life gets you down?"
A light shone in Kira's eyes. "Start … singing?" His mouth continued to move for a few moments.
"NO!" Kira flinched. "TAKE SOME HAPPY PILLS!"
The screen flashed brightly and it showed Kira fighting in his Gundam in fast motion with this song playing in the background:
Here a llama, there a llama and another little llama! Fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama, llama, duck!
Kira grinned as the song continued. "Wow! I feel great now that I've had Rau Le Crueset's Happy Pills™! Life is great!" Still bad dubbing.
The deep voice returned. "Let's go to some of our other satisfied users."
A druggie named Orga twitched as he held a book in his hands called 'So You Want To Destroy A Gundam'. "Ever since I had RLCHP™, life's been good! REALLY GOOD!"
Another druggie, Shani, who wasn't exactly paying attention due to blasting rock music and a twitching eye, murmured, "I like shiny things… Shiny…"
The last druggie, Clotho, stared with overly-wide eyes at his Game Boy (don't own). "Pretty colors… Hehe…"
The deep voice said in a rushed voice, "Allside-effectsincludecramps,muscle-spasms, nausea, addiction, sleepinginthesameroomasyourabusivegirlfriendTHATMEANSYOUKIRA, breakingoutintothellamasongatrandompointsoftheday, lossofbraincells,blowinguptheworld,andDEATH."
Kira was now shown getting out of bed and pulling on his uniform. He ran out of his room and, in a way that was obviously dubbed over, yelled, "And I want to thank Rau Le Crueset for making my life the way it is today!" He winked.
Rau Le Crueset popped up. "Buy the Happy Pills™ today! Only $1999.99 plus shipping and handling! MasterCard is accepted."
The viewing room was silent. Completely silent. All heads turned to Kira.
"Kira," Lacus started softly, "is there anything you'd like to share?"
Kira frowned and his lower-lip quivered. "LACUS!" He Chibi-sobbed and leaped into her arms, which he hasn't done in a while. "IT'S AWW WIES! AWW WIES!"
Cagalli coughed. "Mostly…"
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The three Chibi girls were also silent.
"That was the most disturbing thing I've seen since seventh grade science class…" Mey-Mey murmured.
Pinky screamed. "NOT THE TURTLES!" She went into a little ball. "Turtles… Turtles… Why must they do such dirty things…?"
Goddess asked in a monotone voice, "Your next wish?"
Rau cackled maniacally. "I WISH TO DESTROY THE WORLD!"
Goddess coughed. "Well… Okay…" POOF!
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The viewing room was chaos.
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!.!.!.!." Kuzzey screamed while foaming at the mouth.
Dearka grinned and leaned over to Milly. "Hey, if we're all going to die, can I have a kiss?" She slapped him. "Worth a try…"
However, Mwu and Murrue were doing just that.
Because the Chibis had gotten into the candy bowl, the sugary-goodness was propelling them, making the chaos even more … chaotic. But since this is the end of the world, you aren't going to deny a Chibi a lolly, are you?
The four main characters of Gundam SEED sat still on the couch. Cagalli sighed. "Well, it's already been established by signs that the apocalypse is near…"
Athrun continued, "A Chibi swearing, the Censor needing to be censored, and random OOC throughout the entire story."
Kira looked hopefully at Lacus. "Hey, Lacus? Can we kiss too?"
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Rau laughed insanely. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA –twitch- MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!.!.!.!.!. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA … HAHAHA …. HAHA … haha… haaaa…?" He blinked. "Why am I still here? If the world is destroyed, we should all be DEAD!"
Goddess moaned. "Mey-Mey…"
"You said 'destroy the world'. You didn't specify which world to destroy. Here's the world you did destroy." Mey-Mey took out a broken snow globe of the world.
Pinky cried, "NO! MY SNOW GLOBE!.!" And proceeded to bawl in the corner… for, like, two seconds.
Rau twitched. "NO!.!.!. NO!.!.!. NOOOO!.!.!. I WANT TO DESTROY!.!.!.!.!. DESSSSTROY!.!.!.!. RAAAAAHHHHHHGGGGGGGG!.!.!.!.!.!."
Goddess talked to what would seem to the wall. "This could go on for awhile…"
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Just when Lacus was about to finally kiss Kira after SO MANY EPISODES, Cagalli pointed to the screen and yelled, "Hey, look! The world's not going to be destroyed!"
Everyone proceeded to cheer and Lacus forgot all about poor Kira's kiss. Kira gloomed. "My loving sister hates me…" He remembered Fllay's wish. "Hey, Lacus, you free tonight?"
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"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!.!.!.!. DESTROY!.!.!.!.!."
The Chibis sighed. "Oh, well, time to see how everything turns out…" Pinky poofed them all away.
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EPILOGUE
Athrun and Cagalli were having a nice time, watching a romantic movie together. Of course, Goddess must always be tortured (Mike: Straight up!).
POOF!
Athrun froze, feeling his head tingle. His hair felt… weird… "Um, I'll be, ah, right back…" He zoomed out a la Roadrunner.
Cagalli blinked. "Athrun?"
Athrun ran into the bathroom, locked the door, looked in the mirror and- "OH MY –BEEP!- GOD!" Pinky smacked him out of nowhere. "MY HAIR!"
And Athrun was now the owner of pink hair.
Yzak, in a different room, was feeling very smug.
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Mey-Mey floated down the corridors of the ArchAngel, which has been oddly absent from the story. She flew passed Kira's opened room door and grinned. Fllay was throwing a tantrum.
"WHERE'S KIRA!.?."
Mey-Mey smirked. "You never said Kira had to be in the room with you, now did you?" She slammed the door and shouted through it, "AND THE DOORS LOCK FROM THE OUTSIDE!"
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THE NEXT MORNING
Just as the sun rose over the horizon of the dance club from way, way back (remember chapter four?), characters from Gundam SEED started randomly appearing. Yzak grumbled as he walked into the club, followed by Shiho.
"And you know, that uniform really doesn't go with your teeeal eye shadow," She taunted, "You should try pink."
Dearka died laughing. Yzak turned a bright shade of red. "I. Was. Drunk." He then turned to Dearka, who was just reviving. "And you." He then proceeded to complain, using Dearka as his counselor. "I was trying to be nice! I was really, really trying for once, but now she WON'T. SHUT. UP!" He slammed Dearka's head through the wall (walls like Dearka), effectively knocking him out.
Shiho growled. "Hey, mister, I've had enough of you always talking about you, you, you! Oh yeah, Yzak, well YOUR MOM!"
Yzak gasped. "Oh, you did not just go there!"
Let's cut from this happy couple to…
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Athrun stealthily sunk out of the bathroom with large bags under his eyes. He kept glancing at mirrors, as if making sure that his hair was still blue, which is quite silly, really, because EVERYBODY knows that a five ounce swallow cannot carry a one pound coconut unless propelled by rocket skates and- oh, sorry, wrong story. We don't Monty Python either…
"Athrun?"
Athrun screamed, leaping into the air and hanging on to the ceiling fan. He looked down to see Cagalli, giving him an odd look. "Oh… Cagalli…"
"Athrun, are you okay?"
"Yeah! I'm fine! Just fine!"
"You never came back from the bathroom last night…" She rolled her eyes and added sarcastically, "What, did you fall asleep fixing your hair?"
"No." Athrun said a little too quickly just as the ceiling fan gave way under his weight.
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They found themselves poofed into the dance club before he hit the ground. Yzak, who strangely was covered in bandages, throwing pink at Shiho and ignoring Shiho's repeated shouts of "YOUR MOM!" noticed this and did a double-take.
"WHY IS HIS HAIR BLUE!.?."
"And when did she get a voice actress?" Athrun asked.
Cagalli blinked at Yzak's question. "Because he was born that way?"
The three girls, no longer Chibi and now in their real appearance, walked into the dance club.
"Because," Mike explained, "Technicalities."
"Oh. Shoot." Yzak grumbled. "I was doing so well combating those…"
"You never said how long," Sara mocked.
Most everyone was there by now, including the little kids, who were rubbing their eyes, and the adults, who were drinking mass quantities of Bartfeld's coffee.
Kira and Lacus poofed in just about last.
"Sorry we were late," Lacus said really cheerfully for that early in the morning.
"I spent all night in Lacus' house last night!" Kira chirped, looking strangely happy.
Everyone stared in silence.
"Kira…" Cagalli started in shock.
Athrun continued, a bit more excited. "Did you finally do what I think you did?"
"You bet!" Lacus answered while did a thumbs up a la Maito Gai. More gasps were heard.
"In fact, we can explain it!" Kira cried. "In detail!"
"KIRA NO, THERE ARE CHILDREN!" Murrue yelled.
"ENSIGN YAMATO!" Natarle scolded.
FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT
Kira and Lacus sat around a little table in a bright pink room. Kira had a little bonnet on.
"More tea and cookies, Kira?" Lacus asked, offering him a plate of cookies and a cup of tea.
"Why, yes, thank you Miss Lacus! Thank you!" He turned to his left and said to Birdy under his breath, "Don't you say a word, you mechanical penguin!" He then put on a fake smile and offered to the teddy bear, "More tea Mr. Fuzzy-Wuzzy," he then turned to a giant teal-painted Haro, "Teal-chan?"
Pink-chan was looking in through the window like an abandoned puppy dog. "Haro. Myta. Sob. She used to play tea time with me. Haro." He flew in through the window and into Lacus' lap. "LACUS! HARO!"
"Oh, Pink-chan! Would you like to play tea time too?" Lacus asked.
Pink-chan quickly flew over to sit next to Teal-Chan, and, when no one was looking… spilled tea all over him.
"Oh, no! Teal-Chan!" Lacus cried as the haro short circuited.
Pink-Chan grinned in his haro-way. "Haro. Score."
PRESENT
Athrun groaned. "Oh, Kira…"
Lacus smiled. "I haven't been able to have a tea party with other people since second grade! No one was ever around…" She gave a quick glare to Athrun, then smiled again.
Suddenly, Fllay burst in. "HA! THAT'S WHERE YOU WERE ALL NIGHT!"
"Wha!" Ashley cried. "How'd you get out!"
Fllay smirked. "You didn't remember technicalities."
"Huuuuh?" The three said, confused.
"I said 'all night'. Night's over." Fllay sneered.
Mike frowned. "Snap. We got technified."
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A/N: So, there you have it! The end of the VOP saga! But this is not the end for us, no! For now, the timeline of Gundam SEED Randomness continues in Time Traveling Teens! Have fun in that one!
The last couple sections of this chapter were probably pushing the K+ rating… Maybe this should be upped to T… ;shrug; Oh well. The next time this one is updated will be after Time Traveling Teens is over, so keep on checking that one for the continuing saga of these poor characters.
Oh, and we apologize for the wacky styling and formating. The computer was going crazy and fanfiction(dot)net wasn't helping.