Disclaimer: Dick owns 'em

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Jess' shower was a fairly short one. After seeing how cluttered Alex's closet was, she was determined to clean it. She wasn't sure why, but she felt that if the physical disarray of Alex's apartment was fixed, it would be easier for her to focus on herself. She was also determined to please Alex. It was something she'd never been able to do with her parents, but she desperately needed someone to be proud of her. She was convinced that Alex would be pleased that she'd cleaned everything.

She left the water running for a while, so as not to draw any unwanted suspicion. She started with the towels and washcloths, organizing them by size and color. Then she combined all the matching shampoos and conditioners and put them together on one shelf. She put all the good bath salts together on another shelf and set the ruined ones aside, not wanting to throw any away without Alex's consent. Then she rewet her hair to make it look like she had just finished. She dried off, got dressed, hung up her towel, and walked into the living room to see Alex putting the last few dishes into the dishwasher.

"Have a nice shower?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Alex smirked. "I doubt there's any hot water left. You're worse than me."

Jess smiled, embarrassed. "You might be surprised," she told her. When she had been cleaning the closet, she had turned off the hot water, knowing that Alex would probably need to shower. "Go ahead and take one. I promise I didn't use all your hot water."

Alex gave her a "What are you talking about?" look before disappearing into her bedroom to gather her things. She walked back down the hallway, seeing Jessica straightening up the couch where she'd slept. She rolled her eyes as she went into the bathroom and closed and locked the door. She opened the closet door and her jaw dropped.

"JEEEESSSSSS!" She screamed

Jess laughed, realizing Alex had just found the newly cleaned closet. "I told you I didn't use all the hot water!"

"You are so dead! I swear when I get out of this shower-"

"What?" Jess asked, feigning innocence. "I didn't throw anything away. Your solid rock bath salts are still there, I promise."

"Jessica-"

"Enjoy your shower Alex!"

Alex wasn't sure what was happening. Cleaning when you're upset is one thing, but Jess hadn't seemed upset before her shower. Sure, she was a nice girl who was trying to help, but this was weird. She stepped into the shower and, as usual, refused to look down at her scars, and cried. She still couldn't face them, couldn't face what had happened. She thought Jess had to be up to something. She seemed almost too eager to help. "Please, just let her be a neat freak," she prayed. "Don't let her be after anything. I don't think I could handle that right now."

Alex finished her shower and hurried out into the living room, convinced that Jess had stolen everything or something. When she saw Jess organizing her bookshelf, she cursed herself for thinking something so stupid. She snuck up quietly behind her. "You know," she said suddenly. "Stephen King should be before Barbara Kingsolver."

Jess jumped about a mile in the air and dropped the Dean Koontz book she was holding. "JEEEE-ZUS!" she screamed. "You scared the shit out of me!"

Alex laughed and picked up the dropped book. "Serves you right for cleaning my whole apartment and organizing my books."

"I uh, I wasn't organizing your books."

"Do me a favor Jess."

"What?"

"Don't ever become a lawyer. You suck at lying."

Jess smiled and put the book away. "You probably think I'm crazy don't you?"

"Crazy? Nah. A little clean-obsessed, but not crazy."

"I'm sorry."

Alex was taken aback by the apology. "For what?"

Jess sighed. "I can't imagine what you must be thinking right now. Every time you disappear for a few minutes another part of your apartment gets cleaned. I shouldn't have done all that. It's not my stuff."

Alex sat on the sofa and pulled Jess down next to her, but the girl refused to look at her. "Jess, what's wrong?" When she didn't answer, Alex took her hand in hers. "Jess, you know how you told me I could trust you-with anything?" Jess closed her eyes but said nothing. "Well," Alex continued. "That trust goes both ways. I'm not going to-"

"I lied to you," Jess said suddenly, still not looking at Alex.

"About what?" Alex could tell by the look on Jess' face that she was feeling guilty. She had already decided to forgive her, no matter what she was hiding. This was obviously eating Jess, and Alex knew it wasn't something unforgivable.

"I lied when I told you I had great parents."

Alex's heart sunk. "They hurt you?"

Jess looked up for the first time, realizing what must have been going through Alex's mind given the kind of work that she did. "No…well, not like that. They…" she make herself couldn't finish.

"What? What did they do?" Alex asked, squeezing Jess' hand.

"Everything always had to be perfect!" Jess blurted out. "There was never allowed to be a piece of dust anywhere or a sofa cushion out of place or anything! Everything always had to be perfect and spotless and I always had to look presentable and…I just…it was never enough! I swear I spent more time cleaning than doing anything else!"

"Jess, they…you were-"

"Their maid. That's why they adopted me. Well, they never actually said that, but it was obvious. They didn't want to have to pay anybody."

"Oh God, Jess. I…I-"

"You didn't know. I guess it wasn't so bad. I mean, they gave me everything I ever needed. I know a lot of people have it a lot worse than I did. I guess what hurt the most though was that I could never please them. No matter how hard I tried to keep the house clean, I almost always missed something. No matter how good my grades were, there was always someone better. They grounded me for a month when they found out I wasn't valedictorian of my high school class. It didn't matter that I graduated two full years early. What mattered was that I wasn't first." Jess paused for a second, trying to regain her composure, and felt Alex put her arm around her. She smiled weakly. "I guess I just…I mean I-when I met you, I really wanted to get to know you. I wanted you to like me…so I-"

"Started cleaning my apartment." Alex interrupted. Jess nodded and reluctantly let a few tears slide down her face. Alex pulled her closer and wrapped her other arm around her. "You don't have to clean my apartment for me to like you. The second you started helping me last night was the same second I realized what an amazing person you are. You don't have to go out of your way to impress me Jess. Just be you. That's all I want."

Jess cried softly and reached up to touch hold Alex's hand. "Thank you," she said weakly. Those were the words she'd been waiting her entire life to hear someone say. Her "parents" had never really been cruel to her, but they'd managed to convince her that she was a screw up who would never succeed in life. She'd moved to New York hoping to prove them wrong. So far, that's exactly what she was doing.

They sat on the couch for several minutes, Alex leaning against the arm rest with Jess leaning against her. Then Jess heard Alex's stomach growl. She laughed as she sat up and wiped away her tears. "Someone's hungry."

Alex blushed. "Yea, I like my food."

"Well then we should get going. I'm feeling a little hungry myself. My car or yours?"

"Bus. I've got a monthly pass and your fare is only five dollars. With gas as ridiculously overpriced as it is, it's cheaper this way. Besides, parking in this city is a nightmare, so this is just easier."

When Jess saw Alex pulling out her wallet, she smiled. "You're not planning on paying for my fare are you?

"I told you I was taking you out."

"Yea, to lunch."

"Relax Jess. It's five dollars. I want to do this."

Jess smiled reluctantly. "Fine, but tomorrow I'm taking you out to lunch and desert."

Alex laughed as they gathered their things and left. "Deal."