Jess and Alex made their way to a bench in the middle of the park. Just as they were sitting down, Alex's cell phone rang. She rolled her eyes as she pulled it out and answered it. "Cabot…oh, hey Liv…They found her? Who's prosecuting…Oh, thank God. If anyone can win it's Casey…What do you mean she refused representation…Yeah, the judge'll allow it…Liv, that's awesome! Tell Elliot I said congrats. I know this case has been hard on him…You won't…Oh, uh yea, that's fine…no it's okay…Okay, good luck." Alex hung up the phone.

"That sounded like good news." Jess said, smiling.

Alex nodded and gave a huge sigh of relief. "Olivia and Elliot – he's her partner – have been working on this case for three years. This woman has killed twenty-three men by," she made a snipping sign with her fingers "Chopping them off."

Jess cringed. "Lorena Bobbit to the extreme?"

"Exactly."

"That's sick. Do they have a good case?"

"Rock solid. Plus, the lawyer prosecuting her, Casey Novak, is brilliant."

Jess wasn't sure she'd heard correctly. She prayed she didn't. "What did you say the lawyer's name was?"

"Casey Novak. She's a great lawyer and one of my best friends. You'll have to meet her some time."

"I already have," Jess said solemnly. She and Casey went way back, and their relationship was anything but friendly. She couldn't believe Alex knew her. "Small world, huh?"

Alex could tell that Jess was upset at hearing she and Casey were friends. She couldn't figure out why Jess didn't like her. "What happened between you two?"

"Does she know about me?"

"No, I haven't spoken to her in a few days. Why?"

"She hates me, and she has every right to." Jess turned away and looked across the park. "I did something Alex, something I shouldn't have done."

"Jess, Casey's a very forgiving person-"

"Alex, please don't lie for her. I know you care about her and if she's important to you, she's important to me. I can be friendly with her, even if she refuses to be with me. I just know that I really hurt her and…I saw the pain in her eyes, Alex. Trust me when I say that she is not going to forgive me that easily."

Alex wasn't sure what to do. Casey was one of her best friends, and she didn't want to lose her. There had to be a way to at least get these two to be comfortable around each other. They didn't have to be best friends, but Alex wanted them to be able to have dinner together. She didn't want to have to throw separate dinner parties. She put her hand on Jess' back. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jess laughed nervously, "You'd hate me if-"

"Jess," Alex said sternly. "I could never hate you, not after what you've done for me. Whatever happened, it's in the past. You can't change what you've done. All you can do is try to do better in the future."

"She really means a lot to you, doesn't she?"

Alex nodded, "I love her like a sister."

Jess took a deep breath and nodded, looking down to her lap. She decided to just get it out and pray that Alex would forgive her. She would worry about Casey's forgiveness when the time came. She took a deep breath and started.

"I was fifteen when I graduated high school, sixteen when I went away to college. I was emancipated from my parents by then. Otherwise, I would have had to get their permission to come to NYU, which was never going to happen. Casey was friends with my roommate's older sister. God, she was always so nice to me. I didn't make a lot of friends because of my age, but she didn't care. I remember her yelling at my roommate. Michelle wanted her to buy some alcohol for a party she wanted to throw," Jess laughed, remembering better times. "Casey told her that just because she was twenty-one, she didn't have to buy her friend's sister and her sixteen-year-old roommate alcohol." She sighed, smiling and wishing things had turned out differently. "Anyway, Casey was dating this kid Brian. I was so jealous. I thought he was the cutest guy I had ever seen. Then she found out that I had a crush on him. She thought it was cute and said something like, 'Oh sweetie, you're sixteen. You don't have a chance with him.' I don't think she really meant it to be mean, she just wanted to keep me from trying to steal him. It still hurt though…" she trailed off.

Alex put her arm around her. "Of course it still hurt. Jess, I had no idea you were so young when you went to college. Living with college-aged people and everything, it must have been so hard."

Jess nodded and smiled, though it wasn't a happy smile. It was one of annoyance at how hard her situation had been. "It was. I felt so out of place. But then, Brian started showing an interest in me. My parents called and told me that Casey had once dated a black man. I told them there was nothing wrong with that, but being the racist, conservative nuts that they were, they said it was wrong. They told me that if I really hurt her, they'd be proud of me."

"Jess, they-" Alex started, not really sure what to say.

"They wanted me to humiliate her, and that's exactly what I did. I found out that the only reason Brian was interested in her was for the sex, and that he'd been pretty abusive towards his past girlfriends. I hated myself for what I was planning on doing, but I figured I could please my parents and prevent Casey from getting hurt…well, at least from getting hurt by him." Jess sighed. "I secretly taped Brian one night when he came over. I got him to tell me that he loved me more than her, and that he was just after her for the sex. He told me that he was going to break it off with her. Then I found out he changed his mind. He was going to take her to a big baseball game and announce his love to her in front of hundreds of students from school. I snuck the tape I'd made into the audio booth. Everybody heard it. She ran off in tears and switched schools. Brian was pissed for about a day, and then started dating some cheerleader from another school. My parents were prouder of me then than they ever were before, but I hated myself. God not a day goes by that I don't wish I could undo what I did. She's never going to forgive me, Alex. I don't deserve it."

Alex looked at Jess, shocked at the story she'd just heard. She couldn't picture Jess doing something like that. Yet, here she was, on the verge of tears because she felt so guilty. Alex hugged her. "I don't hate you, Jess. Yes, what you did was wrong, but I understand why you did it. You were sixteen and you needed your parents to be proud of you. Every sixteen-year-old needs that at some point in their lives. You also knew that you had to get Casey away from him." Alex rubbed Jess' back. "Talk to Casey, Jess. Explain what happened. She probably won't forgive you right away, but she'll try. She's a good person. She'll see how sorry you are. She won't hate you forever."

Jess smiled weakly. "I hope not. I feel so terrible."

"I know you do. She'll see that, too. It'll work out, Jess, don't worry." Alex desperately wanted to change the subject. She was so glad that Jess had trusted her with this. That hadn't been easy for her to talk about, and she was happy to let Jess cry on her shoulder, especially after she had cried on Jess'. It proved Jess trusted her, which she needed to see. If she was going to trust Jess, that trust had to be reciprocated. Still, this day was supposed to be fun. She needed to change the subject. "So, tell me, why'd you pick NYU?"

Jess wiped away her tears and looked up, confusion written all over her face. Then she smiled, realizing Alex had changed the subject. "You're good. I don't think I can change a subject that quickly."

"Again, lawyer. It's a habit. Anyways, why'd you choose NYU?"

"Well, as you know I graduated from high school two years early. My parents weren't even proud. They were upset that I was ranked third in my class instead of first. I knew I had to get away. NYU seemed like a great choice. It was far away and had a great Graphic Arts program. My parents weren't pleased with my choice of schools. NYU wasn't exactly their top pick."

"But it was yours?"

Jess nodded. "Yeah, it was. They wanted me to go to Harvard or Princeton or one of those ritzy Ivy League schools, but to be honest, my SAT scores weren't really good enough. Besides, I wanted to decide where I went. I was tired of always letting them make my decisions for me."

Alex smiled and patted her on the knee. "Good for you. That couldn't have been easy."

Jess smiled in agreement. "Hardest thing I've ever done – even harder than getting the courage to come meet you."

Alex furrowed her eyebrows. "You were afraid to meet me?"

"Not really of meeting you – I was more afraid of ruining your life. I knew you were the bureau chief of a huge law firm and I would have killed myself if I'd done anything to jeopardize that."

"Jess, you do know that you haven't ruined my life, right?" Alex asked, her voice full of concern.

Jess sighed. "I'm still trying to believe it," she said weakly. "It's just, well…last night in the bathroom…and today at lunch…I-I feel so bad. I can't help but think that if I hadn't shown up you'd still be happy."

Alex put her arm around Jess and gave her a gentle squeeze. "Jess, listen to me," she said firmly. "When you showed up in my office yesterday, I was dead. I lived my life only for my cases, nothing else mattered. I didn't let anyone close, not even the man I agreed to marry. I pushed all of my feelings and memories deep inside me, but they never went away. I hated myself-"

"Alex-" Jess started.

"Please, just let me finish," Alex said. She took a deep breath. "I never let anybody get close to me. I rarely went out. I married a guy named Jack. He knew a little, but once he found out I was…raped," she said, surprised she'd said the word. She felt Jess squeeze her hand, giving her the support she needed to keep going. "He told me that if I let someone mutilate my body then I could let him do whatever he wanted. He hit me several times before I finally got the courage to leave him. Then I met Max. He was so sweet. I told him about Jack, though I didn't tell him why he'd hit me. I didn't tell him what happened, either. I pulled the whole 'Let's wait until we're married,' thing. Doing that hurt, but I figured if we were married he'd have to accept me."

"Alex, you-"

"I'm not done," Alex said, realizing Jess was just as stubborn as she was. "God I haven't been able to look at my body in the mirror since…since it happened. I hated how I looked and I was so sure everybody else felt the same way. When I saw you, I panicked. Partly because I had always thought you were dead, but mostly because I was scared. For a moment I thought maybe we had a chance. Then Max left me and I saw myself briefly in the mirror. I knew you would hate me, too." She took a deep breath. "I think I finally realized there was still a chance for us when I woke up the next morning to find my apartment clean and you sleeping on my couch. Knowing that you and Olivia had stayed, and that you cared…Jess I felt safe and loved for the first time in a long time. I need to deal with this. I need to deal with what happened. I've always been too scared and ashamed, but now…Jess you have no idea how much you helped me last night."

Jess wrapped her arms around a now sobbing Alex. She didn't even bother to hide her own tears. "I wanted to get to know you," she said, rubbing Alex's back. "Seeing you like that last night scared the shit out of me, but it wasn't a disgusted scared. I wasn't scared of you, I was scared for you. You are an amazing person, Alexandra Cabot. I knew that the second you accepted me, despite the fact that I was supposed to be dead and nobody knew you had a sister. You were still willing to risk those relationships to get to know me. That proves what an incredible person you are. Alex, you're one of the best things that's ever happened to me."

Alex laughed through her tears and pulled out of the hug. "Please," she said modestly as she wiped away her tears. "You're giving me way too much credit." She tried not to sound too nervous. She still hadn't told Jess that she was gay. She knew she had to, but she was scared. She needed Jess right now, but she knew it was wrong to keep something like this a secret from her.

"Alex, I'd give you more credit if I knew how."

"Stop," she said smiling.

"No, really, you're amazing."

"Jess-"

"And smart-"

"Stop-"

"And gorgeous-"

"No I'm-"

"Yes you are, and you're funny-"

"Jess!" Alex yelled, rolling her eyes. Hearing Jess praise her this way was going to make telling her even harder.

"And you're the most stubborn person I know, but it's a good stubborn." Jess continued, determined to convince Alex that she was amazing.

"Jessica!"

"And you're-"

"Gay!" Alex exclaimed, then immediately regretted it. That wasn't how she had wanted to tell Jess.

"What?" Jess asked, not sure if she'd heard correctly.

Alex took a deep breath. "I'm gay. Olivia and I…we're together."

It was then that Jess saw that Alex was scared, and shaking. She held her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Alex looked up, tears pouring down her cheeks, her eyes begging for acceptance. Jess smiled and squeezed her hand again. "Alex, I'm not my parents."

Alex closed her eyes and shook her head. She had to play innocent. "What?"

Jess rolled her eyes and smiled. "Oh please, a cop and a lawyer? You did a background check on me as soon as you could."

"I-I-we-" Alex stammered.

"It's okay. As soon as Olivia told me she was a cop, I figured it would happen."

"Do you – I mean – I – do you –"

"Alex," Jess said sternly. "I am not my parents." She paused. "Does she make you happy?"

"Yes, yes she does."

"Then you deserve to be with her."

"But your parents –"

"Were conservative zealots who drove me crazy. I'm not them, Alex. I don't think the way that they did." Jess smiled slightly. "Olivia obviously loves you, Alex, and I can tell that you feel the same way about her. You don't have to hide your relationship. Do what makes you happy, Alex. I'll still be here."

A few tears slid down Alex's cheeks. Relief swept over her as she heard Jess' words. She couldn't believe someone like Jess had come from parents like the ones she had. "Thank you, Jess…for…for accepting me."

Jess patted her knee. "Alex, you don't –"

"Hey!" Alex interrupted, laughing through her tears. "What did I tell you about accepting my thank-yous?"

"Fine," Jess said defeatedly. "You're welcome."

"That's better, now was that so hard?"