a/n: Hey, hey! Finally, I can update again! Ah…much better. Sorry for the long wait – I'd have updated sooner if I could…

. : Search and Destroy – Part 1 : .

CRASH.

"Holy. Crap." Kiba spoke up first; everyone else looked up at the bulldozer that had plowed through the living room wall.

"What in the heck was that!" Tenten yelled at the mystery driver. The door of the bulldozer opened to reveal…

…Lily – who else? She beamed at the sea of shocked faces and looked proud of herself. "Well, what do you think?"

No one really knew what to say.

Slapping her forehead, Kari climbed up and pulled Lily out of the driver's seat. "What do you think you're doing!" she hissed.

"Well, I thought up of a new game!" Lily announced.

Sakura said, "Hey, SOME of us are still getting over last night's—"

No one was really listening – as always – and Kari cut her off. "Please, do explain why you're DESTROYING MY HOUSE!" she grabbed the front of Lily's shirt.

Lee elbowed Neji and whispered, "Isn't she supposed to be the calm one?"

"Don't touch me," Neji replied.

Lily squirmed out of Kari's death grip and pulled out her trusty megaphone. "Now for the rules of this game!"

"This will be a team game: You'll be split into two teams and sent to hunt members from the other team. Whichever team captures the most members of the enemy team wins! Doesn't that sound fun?" she squealed and clapped her hands, bouncing up and down.

There's only one way to explain everyone's reaction to this: Oo

Kari pulled out her trusty list of teams and said, "Team One, also known as the Stud Muffins, will be Sakura, Shikamaru, Lee, Shino, Sasuke, Hinata, and myself. Team Two, a.k.a the Tootsie Rolls, will be Neji, Kiba, Ino, Chouji, Tenten, Naruto, and Lily."

"Now go and grab the nearest object," Lily said as she climbed into the bulldozer again, "before I run you over!"

Everyone scrambled to grab something, lest they be flattened cartoon-style. The air was filled with shuffling, clattering, and Lily's maniacal laughter as she attempted to run over Shikamaru.

Once it seemed like everyone had grabbed something, Lily jumped to the ground and dusted herself off. "Now…whatever object you grabbed will be your one and ONLY weapon for the game!"

Kari called for everyone to split into their teams. "Okay," she pointed to what used to be the front door, "My team will start outside, around the other side, and you guys will start here. I'll set this conveniently placed alarm for twenty minutes so you can strategize. When the alarm goes off, we'll start."

The Stud Muffins clattered out the door, lead by Kari. The members of the Tootsie Rolls converged around the destroyed living room, looking at their useless 'weapons'.

"How do they expect us to fight with junk?" Ino exclaimed. "I mean, come on – this is worthless!" She waved a pair of souvenir Mickey Mouse ears in frustration.

"Yeah, things do look pretty bad…" Chouji looked at the loaf of French bread in his hand and sighed wistfully.

Everyone stared at the bread in his hand quizzically, so Chouji said, "What? I was making a sandwich before this thing started."

Tenten sighed and rested her head in her hands. "Has anyone got a plan? I mean, the other team's got some pretty strong people…"

"What about me?" Neji asked. "I'm standing right here you know."

"Yeah, yeah, we all see you, Neji." Tenten waved at him dismissively. "Now, for a plan?"

"I've got one!" Lily cried excitedly. "Huddle, huddle! Now, this is what we're going to do…"

. : Back with the Stud Muffins… : .

"YAAAAAAH!" Lee roared, throwing punches and kicks all over the place. "We're going to win this! I can FEEL IT!"

Sakura ducked after nearly being kicked in the head and said angrily, "Go be overenthusiastic somewhere else, Lee!"

"This whole thing is ridiculous," Sasuke complained. "And of all things, why'd I have to grab this?" he sighed and looked down at the flowery picture frame he held in his hands.

"Well, it does make a great gift…" Hinata said to herself. She was so nervous about messing things up for her team that the glass soda bottle she'd picked up in the kitchen almost slipped out of her hands.

Shino eyed the bottle jealously – his own weapon was a pair of headphones. I totally deserve something better, he thought, 'cause I'm Shino.

Kari grabbed Lee by the wrist, his fist inches away from her nose. "You'd better calm down," she threatened, "before I get angry."

Lee pulled his wrist away from her grasp. "Okay, I'll be good!"

Shikamaru checked his watch (yes, he has a watch; you've just never seen it before!) and said, "Just so you know, time's almost up. Anyone got a plan?"

"Why don't you come up with one?" Sakura demanded. "You're the genius!"

"And you've got green hair – what's your point?" he countered.

Sakura growled and shook her fist at him threateningly, but he just turned his back. Her Inner Sakura was like, Oh, you bastard! I'll make you wish you'd never said that!

The alarm went off, emitting a short, piercing ring. The whole team looked toward the house, then altogether looked at Kari.

"All right, follow me!" she said, leading them around to the back of the house.

I think that at this point, I should describe just how big Kari's house is. The house itself is huge, but the surrounding land is gigantic. There's a hedge maze, a mini-forest, and just lots of space that's perfect for a search-and capture game.

Inside the house, the Tootsie Rolls had heard the alarm as well…

"How could we NOT hear that thing!" Kiba demanded. "It's like, two feet away from us!" Akamaru barked at the ringing alarm angrily.

Well, SORRY! Gosh, chill out…

"Can we get on with this thing, you two?" Lily said impatiently "Pretty soon, they'll be closing in on us like…things…that close in on you…and stuff…"

"Follow me!" Naruto shouted, and he charged off by himself. Even though he's only spent a day in the house. Let's see how long he lasts, shall we?

"Naruto, GET BACK HERE!" Ino shouted after him – well, it was more like she was shouting at the huge cloud of dust he'd left behind. "What about the plan!"

"Okay, now what do we do?" Tenten said dismally. "Naruto's gone, so our plan is pretty much wrecked!"

Neji rolled his eyes at her. "Do you always have to be such a pessimist? I'm sure Naruto can handle himself. We didn't have much of a plan to begin with, anyway."

"Well, I may be pessimistic," Tenten retorted, "but at least I'm not all antisocial like you! I can talk to people like a normal person!"

"Yeah, right…" Neji said, even though he knew inside that she was right – but he wouldn't let her know that! "When was the last time you've ever talked to ANYONE? Face it, Tenten – you've got no personality at all."

Tenten's eye twitched at his response. If there's one thing Tenten hates more than letting her hair down, it's being told she has no personality. That's because it's true! Don't believe me? Well, then, try to sum up Tenten's personality in one or two words!

Hehe, see what I mean? You can't!

Neji was patting himself on the back and feeling so awesome with his comeback until Lily jumped in.

"Okay, new plan!" Lily called out. "We'll split into groups of two and go off to hunt the others! Ino, you'll be with Chouji since you two work so well together…"

Ino slumped and whined, "Aww man, if only that stupid Sakura hadn't taken Sasuke…" The two of them split off from the group, armed with a souvenir hat and a loaf of bread.

Kiba whispered to Akamaru, "Yep, they're doomed!" Akamaru yipped in reply, causing Kiba to gasp. "Hey, my fuzzy slippers are SO much better than their weapons!" Yes, Kiba was armed with fuzzy slippers.

Akamaru barked at him some more. "Oh yeah! Well…YOUR FACE!" Kiba shot back. Nice try, Kiba…

"Hey, Kiba! Listen up! You'll be paired with Tenten, and I'll be with Neji."

"Why am I stuck with you?" Neji whined.

"Because we're made for each other, silly! Now, let's go already!" With those parting words of wisdom, the group split up, ready to hunt some Stud Muffins!

Well, they're not all THAT studly…or muffinly…but that's all beside the point!

. : With the Stud Muffins – yet again… : .

"All right, let's go over the pairings again…" Kari began. Yes, the Stud Muffins are splitting into pairs as well. Why, you may ask? Because attacking in one mob would be just plain SILLY!

Well, there's that…and I can't really think of another strategy. It works well, too – SO THERE!

"Are you done yet?" Kari said.

…Yes.

"Okay, then let's see… Shino will be by himself, I guess – "

"Just the way I like it." Shino walked off by himself, ready for some good ol' fashioned fighting!

Kari continued, " – Hinata will be paired with Shikamaru, Sasuke will be with Sakura, leaving…me with Lee? Geez, what was I thinking?"

"Yaaaay!" Sakura squealed happily. "Me and Sasuke-kun, together again! Take THAT, Ino!"

Sasuke was already annoyed with the pink – excuse me, green-haired girl. He said, "If you slow me down, I'm definitely not waiting for you. So can you, I don't know, try to actually do something this time?"

"I wouldn't count on that," Shikamaru said to him, and Sasuke nodded in agreement.

Sakura was about to go psycho on Shikamaru when Hinata chimed in. "Guys? We should probably start now. The other team might be on their way over here now…"

"Yeah, Hinata's right." Kari looked off in the direction of the house. "Besides, Shino left quite a while ago, so we should catch up."

And with that, the not-so-studly Stud Muffins split up to hunt down some Tootsies!

a/n: And the hunt is on! By the way, if you were wondering where Tenten's whole hair-phobia thing came from (read the Truth or Dare chappie) , it's an idea I got from another of my fics, Bad Hair Day. Read and review - at your own risk! Thanks to NekoKiriku for the idea – a great idea, by the way! As always, suggestions are apreciated (and thanx a bunch to those of you that submitted them!). Until next time!