Disclaimer: Maybe Dick'll loan 'em to me.

Author's Note: I hope I'm not confusing people, but judging from a few recent reviews, I think I might be. To clear one major thing up: ALEX IS NOT JESS' MOM! If you go back and read chapter 14, you'll see that the guy didn't touch Alex when he first came and assaulted her sister. I hope this fixes any confusion, and if anyone has any suggestions on making it less confusing, let me know! I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. This is my first fic, after all :-)

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Alex was just starting to sweep up the flour in the kitchen when she heard a knock at the door. She rolled her eyes and looked up towards the bathroom, seeing a trail of white powder leading to the door. She shook her head and stood up to answer the door, hoping whoever it was wouldn't need to come inside.

"Casey, hey," Alex said softly as she opened the door. Casey's eyes were red and puffy and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. Alex quickly ushered her inside and put a loving hand on her back. "Case, what's wrong? What happened?" She asked worriedly, knowing that if Jess came out of the shower soon it would make things incredibly awkward, but not even caring at the moment. Casey was more important than a potentially awkward situation. Besides, it was about time the two of them sat down and talked about what had happened. If Jess walked out, then so be it.

She hugged the file to her chest, not wanting to reveal it. Good-bye friendship, she thought to herself as Alex led her to the couch and they sat down. She was trying so hard not to cry, and Alex wasn't helping by rubbing her back. She shook her head and looked away. How was she supposed to do this? She couldn't. She had to change the subject. She had to find a way to explain her presence. She looked up and smiled at the trail of flour leading to the bathroom. "I guess I should ask you the same thing. What, did you get in a fight with your baking utensils again?"

"Casey, stop changing the subject. I'm a lawyer, too, you know. I can do it better than you. I've had more practice. Spill. What's wrong?"

She stood up to leave but Alex stopped her. She shook her head and wiped away a tear. "Alex, I can't. I'm sorry."

"Hey," Alex said gently as she hugged her. "I know we didn't exactly get along when I first came back to New York, but I'd like to think of us as friends now, good friends. You're one of the best I've ever had, Case. I hate to see you hurting. Talk to me. What happened?"

Casey hung her shoulders in defeat and sat back down on the couch. "You're going to hate me. What I'm about to tell you is going to kill whatever friendship we have and I am so, so sorry, but I can't think of another way to do it."

Alex wasn't sure what to say. What the hell was Casey so worked up about that she thought it was going to ruin their friendship? "Casey I'm not going to hate you," Alex said softly. "What is it that you need to tell me?"

Aw hell, Case, just do it. She thought. She sighed and looked Alex in the eyes. "Al, you know you're one of my best friends, right? You know I love you like a sister."

Alex shook her head in complete confusion. "Casey, I know. You know I feel the same way about you."

"And you know that nothing will change that, right? Nothing." Casey was on the verge of tears now, and dreading what she was about to tell Alex.

"Casey, please, tell me what's wrong." Alex urged worriedly. "What has gotten you so upset?"

She took a deep breath and frowned. "You know how Liv and Elliot just recently caught a huge break on an old case?" She waited for Alex to nod slowly before continuing. "Well, it turns out it was a break in about twenty-three cold rape cases, some of them going back as far as eighteen years. They're all the same: all the descriptions of the man, all the injuries, all the things that happened." She paused and took Alex's hand and squeezed it gently. You are a beautiful, amazing woman, Alex, she thought. "A file clerk dropped off a box today containing all the files related to the case. I looked through all of them, knowing I had to know all the details if I was going to put this guy away for life." She pulled out the file and sat it in Alex's lap. "This was the last file I found." She closed her eyes and looked down to her lap, tears pouring down her cheeks. "I'm sorry I had to tell you like this, but once the media gets wind of this case it's going to be everywhere. I wanted you to find out from someone who loves you."

Alex slowly opened the file and gasped. No! She can't know! She thought. "NO!" She screamed as she stood up and backed away. "You can't know! I didn't tell you! I only told Olivia! You're not supposed to know about this! Nobody's supposed to know! I only told Olivia!"

Casey stood slowly, ready to shoot herself for this. "I know Al, and she didn't tell anyone, I promise. I'm sorry Alex, I'm so sorry. I didn't know any other way –"

Alex felt herself crumbling to the floor in hysterics. "NO!" She screamed again. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" she screamed over and over again. Fear, anger, humiliation, and everything else quickly overcame her and she started shaking uncontrollably. This wasn't happening. Casey couldn't know. She wasn't ready for Casey to know. Her fear escalated as Casey hesitantly approached her. She had to keep Casey from getting any closer. She grabbed an ashtray off her coffee table. Why the hell did I keep Max's ashtray? She wondered as she held it in her hands. She looked up. Casey was getting closer. She flung it hard, hitting Casey square in the side of the head.

The look of shock on Casey's face disappeared in an instant as she fell to the floor, unconscious. Alex rushed over to her and started screaming. "Casey? Oh, God, please wake up! Wake up Case! Please wake up!" She looked down and noticed a small trickle of blood seeping into her carpet. "No," she said. "No, God, no! Casey, WAKE UP! Please wake up!"

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Jess was just starting to dry off when she heard Alex's panicked screams coming from the living room. She quickly rubbed the towel over her, got dressed, and ran out to see what was wrong.

"Alex, what the hell happened?" Jess asked frantically as she rushed over and knelt down beside the unconscious woman. It was then that she realized it was Casey Novak. What the hell was she doing here? She closed her eyes and shook her head, knowing she didn't have time to think about the past. Right now she had to deal with the situation. She grabbed a sheet from the couch and held it to Casey's head, trying to stop the bleeding. Head wounds bleed, she thought, remembering an old health class from years before. They're often not nearly as severe as they appear to be, but if the person is unconscious call 9-1-1 immediately. She held the towel against Casey's head. She made a fist and rubbed Casey's chest hard. Casey stirred against the pain. That was a good sign.

"Get the phone," Jess said, not looking away from Casey. "Alex, get the phone!" she said again when she realized Alex hadn't moved.

She quickly stood and ran into the kitchen to grab the cordless phone. As soon as she handed it to Jess she started crying. "Oh, God did I kill her? Casey, wake up! You have to wake up! I'm so sorry!"

Before Jess could call the ambulance, she had to know what happened. She looked to her left and saw an ashtray, and figured it out. She nodded at Alex. "She stirred when I put pressure on her chest. That's a really good sign. I have to keep this pressure on her head and see if I can wake her up. Do you think you can call 9-1-1?"

Alex nodded and took the phone back. She quickly dialed the number, fighting the panic that was overwhelming her. She put the phone up to her ear and tried to keep her shaking under control until she was sure an ambulance was on the way.

Jess turned her attention back to a now almost semi-conscious Casey. Every now and then her eyes would flutter, but she didn't move. Jess continued rubbing her chest, hoping the pain would bring her back to consciousness. Finally, after what seemed like forever, it worked. Thank God I paid attention in First Aid class, Jess thought as Casey's eyes fluttered open and she moaned in pain. Jess smiled. "Welcome back, Case." She shifted her position so Casey's head was better aligned. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now but you've gotta stay awake. The ambulance is on its way. Stay with me, Case."

Casey's eyes fluttered several times as she tried to fight the overwhelming desire to just keep them closed. What the hell is Jessica Matthews doing in Alex's apartment? "A…Alex?" she muttered quietly, the pain in her head more intense than anything she had ever experienced.

Alex wiped away her tears and took Casey's hand. "I'm right here, Case. I'm so sorry."

"I'm supposed to be the softball player, remember? You've got one hell of an arm, Al, do you know that?"

The three women smiled at Casey's remark. Casey returned her gaze to the ceiling and Jess realized she was starting to drift back to sleep. She rubbed her fist again on Casey's chest and spoke sternly. "Casey stay awake. Tell us about your favorite candy. Do you like chocolate?"

Why is Jessica Matthews asking me about chocolate? Casey wondered. "I…I love…Crunch bars." She said, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her head. "I like the crispies they have."

"Good. Good, Casey, keep talking." Jess urged.

No! Casey wanted to scream. I just want to go back to sleep. Why won't you let me go back to sleep? Still, she knew the basics of first aid. She knew she had to stay awake as long as she could. "I really like…gummy bears. I think they're cute. Sometimes I like to bite their heads off and leave their bodies for later."

"A little gruesome there, isn't it Case?" Alex asked, smiling through her tears.

"Well she's the one who asked the question!" Casey retorted.

Just then there was a knock at the door and several EMTs rushed in. Alex looked up, terror in her eyes, as she tried to explain what had happened. "I hit her! I didn't mean to! I just…oh, God please let her be okay! I hit her with an ashtray!"

The EMTs looked surprised at Alex's panic, but quickly attended to Casey. Once she was on a gurney and headed down into the hall, one of them turned to Jess. "Are we going to have to call the police? Is she going to want to fill out a domestic violence report or anything?"

Jess wrapped an arm gently around Alex and turned to face the EMT. "No, this wasn't a domestic violence case. It's okay. Just get Casey to the hospital. I'll make sure Alex is okay and we'll meet her up there."

He hesitated, not really believing what he was hearing. Couples fought all the time, and he would be damned if he let people get away with abuse. Still, the two women before him looked so genuinely concerned and upset that he figured it had all been a misunderstanding. He nodded and headed out the door.

"Alex, what happened?" Jess asked once the door was shut and they were alone.

Jess' voice was full of concern. Alex realized there wasn't even a hint of an accusatory tone in it. Jess wasn't angry – she was worried. She felt Jess's arms wrap around her and she hung her head on her shoulder, her entire body heaving with her sobs. "She knows, Jess. She knows everything!"

"What?" Jess started to ask, and then realized what Alex must be talking about. She saw a manila folder on Alex's couch and realized what the contents inside it must be. She nodded and gently rubbed Alex's back. Why the hell had Casey approached Alex this way? And all of a sudden, too? What the hell had possessed Casey to come over like this, completely unannounced?

"She was just trying to protect me!" Alex sobbed. She shook her head. "When I called you last night because Olivia left to work on a case, I didn't know what case. I – the guy who – the man who raped me didn't just rape me!" Her sobs intensified. "She wanted to tell me before I saw it on the news! She was just trying to protect me, Jess…and I – I hit her! Oh God, what have I done?"

Jess took a deep breath and hugged her. "You panicked, Al, it's okay. There's no way you could have been prepared for something like this and you just panicked." She brushed the hair out of Alex's face and smiled lovingly. "Casey's going to be fine." Jess hesitated. "Look, I know this is really difficult, knowing that she knows, but think of it this way. She brought the file straight over to you after she found it. She came over and gave it to you, letting you know that she knows, rather than waiting for you to hear about it on the evening news. That shows how much she respects and cares about you." Jess took Alex's hand and squeezed. This was so unfair, and there was nothing she could do to take away Alex's pain.

Alex squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears, as she leaned her head onto Jess' shoulder. She felt Jess gently rubbing her back and took comfort in the fact that Jess was so supportive and loving. She couldn't believe Casey knew her secret. After she had told Olivia, and realized how caring and loving a woman she really was, she knew she would eventually tell Casey. She had just wanted to do it in her own time, at her own speed. This was happening too quickly. What gave Casey the right to just show up at her apartment with that file and confess to her that she knew everything? The media's going to get wind of this, Alex thought. And they're going to go crazy. This story is going to be all over the place in a matter of days. Casey wanted to tell me. She knew how upset I would be if I saw it on the evening news and later found out she already knew. She looked up at Jess. "I have to get to the hospital. I have to tell her I'm sorry."

Jess nodded. "I'll take you. Come on." She wrapped her arm around Alex's waist and supported her until they got to the car. As she pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street, she noticed Alex was looking out the window, tears pouring down her cheeks. She took Alex's hand and squeezed. When Alex didn't respond, she said, "Hey, it's going to be okay. Casey's going to be fine, and she's still going to care about you."

Alex shook her head slightly. "Everybody's going to know. Everybody's going to know. I'm going to be kicked out of the family. They're going to disown me for this. It'll be such a Goddamn embarrassment for them that they'll want nothing to do with me. I can't do this, Jess. I can't deal with this if everybody in the whole damn nation knows."

Jess felt her own eyes water, and even ignored the fact that a few tears fell down her cheeks. How was she supposed to help her? What kind of people raised this woman? What kind of people would shun her and disown her because of something that was beyond her control? She squeezed Alex's hand again. "We're family, too, remember? I'm not going to throw you out."

It was simple, but Jess' remark made her cry even harder. She squeezed Jess' hand as she took several deep breaths, trying not to lose it completely. This was happening too quickly. She couldn't deal with it. She couldn't fight the tears any longer. She pulled her hands to her face and sobbed as she leaned forward against the dashboard.

Jess glanced over at Alex's heaving body and gently rubbed her hand along her back. She would have done anything to take this woman's pain away. She continued rubbing Alex's back for the duration of the drive to the hospital, knowing herself that Alex had the strength to beat this; but praying Alex knew that.

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His cell phone was ringing, but he didn't feel like answering it. He was in the middle of a huge stack of paperwork and he would be damned if something prevented him from completing it today. Casey had promised to get off work early, and he was determined to do the same. Still, the phone kept ringing. Whoever was calling wasn't giving up. He finally answered it.

"Steve Novak."

"Mr. Novak, this is Dr. Russo from Mercy. We just brought your wife in here. She sustained a head injury –"

He dropped his pen as his eyes widened in fright. "What! What happened? Is she okay?"

"Sir, your wife is fine. She got into a little scuffle with a friend of hers and was hit in the head with an ashtray. She had a mild concussion and a cut that required six stitches. We want to keep her overnight for observation, but she's going to be just fine."

"Okay, well please tell her that I'm on my way. Tell her I'll be there soon."

"I will."

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Jess quickly parked the car and helped Alex out. They walked into the hospital together and rushed up to the desk. "I'm DA Alexandra Cabot," Alex said hurriedly. "I'm here to see ADA Casey Novak. It's urgent. Can you tell me what room she's in?"

The receptionist frowned. "Are you family? Only family's allowed in right now."

Alex sighed angrily. "No, but this is about her case. I need to speak with her. It's urgent."

The receptionist's frown grew, but she allowed both Jess and Alex to visit Casey. They walked to her room and stopped at the door. Jess smiled weakly. "I think I'm probably the last person she wants to see. You should talk to her. I'll be right here waiting, I promise."

Alex nodded. "I'll explain what you were doing there. Hopefully she'll be okay with this. I want you two to like each other. I want the two of you to get along. I need her, Jess, but I need you too."

"Hey," Jess said softly. "You're not going to lose either one of us. Go talk to her, Alex. I promise this is all going to work out. I'll make sure of it."

Taking a deep breath, Alex nodded and went inside Casey's hospital room. She noticed that the woman was sleeping, and she didn't want to disturb her. She quietly pulled a chair from the corner and sat next to the bed, taking Casey's hand in hers. "I'm so sorry, Case. I freaked out. You were only trying to protect me, and I love you so much for that. I only hope you can forgive me."

"I'm not mad at you," Casey muttered weakly.

Alex sat up and smiled through her tears. She squeezed Casey's hand. "Hey, I thought you were asleep. I didn't wake you did I? If I did, I'll leave. I know you need to get some rest."

Casey tried to smile. "You didn't wake me. It's okay."

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I've just been hit over the head with a large, heavy ashtray." Casey said and smiled.

"Casey, stop," Alex said, wiping away a tear. "This isn't a time to make jokes. I feel so bad about this. I am so, so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

"It's okay Alex. You don't have to apologize. I should be the one to apologize. I'm so sorry I did what I did. I know there must have been a better way to tell you I knew, but the story was going to get out soon and I didn't want to wait. I'm so sorry I hurt you, Alex. I really am."

Alex squeezed Casey's hand and brushed her hair out of her face. "Don't be. I'm actually kind of glad you know. Granted, I wish you had found out from me rather than a file clerk, but…I'm glad you know."

Casey smiled and scooted over to the edge of the bed. She patted the empty space, inviting Alex to sit with her. Alex reluctantly obeyed. She pulled Alex against her and wrapped her arms around her. "I still love you, Alex. This changes nothing. I am so beyond astounded at how much you've accomplished in your life, all the while trying to pretend this never happened. You are one incredibly strong person." She smiled and pulled Alex's head up so their eyes met. "I just have one question."

"What?" Alex asked, her eyes red with tears.

"Why was that girl in your apartment? How the hell do you know Jessica Matthews?"

Alex took a deep breath. At least there was something she could tell Casey on her own, something Casey wouldn't find in that file. "Case, I had a sister who was raped by the same man who…who raped me. Oddly enough, we both ended up pregnant. My daughter was stillborn, she was almost nine weeks early. My sister's baby, however, was born right on time. My sister died in a car accident three months later, and I always thought her baby died, too, but a few days ago, she showed up at my office. She's my niece, Casey. I love her to death. She told me about what happened between you two."

"And you still love her?" Casey asked. She wanted to be angry, but she couldn't find any anger in her system. Maybe she should have given Jess a chance to explain, no matter how much pain she had been in at that day.

"Yea, I do. Casey, talk to her, please. I can't lose her. She's a part of my life now, a very important part of my life. You are, too. I can't lose either one of you, and I would hate if two of my best friends couldn't get along. She has a side, too, Case. It may not be a very good one, but it explains a lot. Please, just give her a chance. Please?"

Casey thought for a minute. Alex was by far more important to her than some girl she had fought with years ago. She took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay, I'll talk to her, but I'm not making any promises. What she did hurt Alex. It hurt a lot."

Alex squeezed Casey's hand. "I know, Case, and I told her that there was a good chance you wouldn't forgive her right away. She didn't even seem to want that. She knew you were going to need time to process it. She's a good person, Case. She really is."

"I hope so. I'll talk to her. Not now though. Right now I just want to let this morphine kick in and sleep. I'll talk to her later Al, I promise."

"Thanks, Case. Get some rest."

"Stay till I fall asleep?" Casey asked. It was stupid, but hospitals scared her. She was sure Steve had been notified and would arrive soon, but for the time being, she didn't want to be alone.

"Absolutely."

"I'll talk to Jess when I wake up."

"There's no rush. Talk to her when you're ready."

"I am ready."

Alex nodded. "Get some rest, Case. I'm so sorry about that ashtray."

"Don't be. Good night."

"Good night."