Chapter 6

Ignorance is Bliss and Agony

Starfire glided slowly down the hall way, her feelings hurt and her heart broken. She couldn't understand why Robin wouldn't listen to her. She cringed when she thought about the things he said to her, how he yelled at her. She entered her room, Raven on the bed, she was there because they had to share a room while they were at Titans East. Raven looked at Star's tear stained face. She could feel Starfire grief and hurt. Raven watched as Starfire gradually floated to her bed and sank into the covers. Starfire buried her head in her pillow and began to cry.

Raven glided over to her and put her hand on her back; she stroked her back and spoke softly, almost motherly to her.

"Hey Star, hey shhhh…what happened?" Raven asked her wanting to help her firend. Starfire wiped her nose and closed her eyes tightly and tears streaming down her cheeks. "It's ok, just try to calm down and tell me what happened." She said sympathetically. Starfire opened her eyes, and wiped some tears away. Raven pushed some of her hair out of her face and behind her ear.

"Rob..Robin hates me" Starfire whimpered.

"He could never hate you; he cares for you way too much." Raven said shaking her head. A tear fell down Starfire's face.

"No he does not care for me. You did not hear the way he spoke to me, he has never said things like that to me…ever" she said starting to cry again. Starfire gave a deep sigh and slowly whimpered "he…he hates me."

"Well…what did he say?" Raven asked still trying to get to the bottom of things.

"O, please friend Raven; in X'hal's name don't make me repeat them. Just thinking of them and the tone in which he spoke is truly painful." Starfire wined.

"Ok, how about some mustard? Would you like that?" she asked Star. Starfire nodded her head with sad eyes.

Raven got off the bed and walked toward the door, she was stopped by a hand in hers; Starfire had sat up and grabbed her hand.

"Thank you; friend" Starfire smiled weakly. Raven gave her small smile and walked out the door.

On her way to the kitchen, she passed by Robin's room. Raven pushed open the door to find out what had happened; he wasn't there. But she knew where to find him. She glided to the roof top and found Robin sitting on the edge of the roof, leaning back looking at the stars. She knew he'd be there; that was Starfire favorite spot. It was a bad day to be an empath, Raven could feel Starfire immense grief and Robin's insane anger, hurt and guilt. The moon was a sharply defined crescent and the sky was perfectly clear. The stars shone with such bright, contained brilliance that it seemed almost wrong to call the night sky dark. Raven glided over to Robin and sat down next to him. They didn't speak for a long time. Finally Robin looked at Raven. He knew that she could tell what he was feeling. He felt ashamed to look at her, as if he had disappointed her. He decided to break the silence first.

"I wish I didn't know that he liked her, I wish that he didn't know I liked her...ughh no then I would be making a fool of myself. But I dunno now that I know I'm so mad, I don't know what to do." He admitted holding his head in his hands.

"Ignorance is bliss and agony. It is our worst adversary, compassion and understanding is our greatest friend." Raven said while looking up at the sky. "My mother told me that once."

"I really messed up Rae, I mean I really really messed up." He said looking at Raven for advice.

"Well, yes Robin you did really mess up. Right now there is a sweet, innocent Tamaranian girl who thinks someone she cares about hates her. She is devastated about someone she had a special, one of a kind bond with." Raven said with serious eyes.

"I can't believe I blew up at her like that, I was so mad. I was just so afraid of losing her." He said earnestly.

"Fear is a funny thing Robin; it is life's only true opponent. It is a clever, treacherous adversary. It has no decency, it no respect law or convention, and it shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which in your case, is Starfire. It starts in your head, one minute you are feeling great, happy and confident and then doubt slips in; doubt becomes disbelief. You become anxious and apprehensive. You try to reason with yourself; you feel yourself weakening, becoming indecisive. You begin to discharge your greatest allies: hope and trust. Then your anxiety becomes dread. For fear…real fear shakes you to your foundation. But fear is only an impression Robin, and the way to beat real fear is to know yourself, really know yourself." Raven explained, still looking up at the moon.

"That sucks…well what should I do?" Robin asked.

"Confront your fear." She said simply.

"What if she hates me and won't forgive me?" he stuttered.

"Star's not that kind of person Robin." she insisted. Raven got up and glided back down the stairs. Robin was alone again; he began to think about what Raven had said. All this time he was afraid of losing Starfire to someone else. But in his heart he knew that would never have happened. Well it might now, that he had messed everything up. Robin jumped up and ran down the stairs toward Star's room.

Robin ran up to her room; he raised his hand to knock on the door but stopped promptly. O crap…what do I say to her? What will she say to me? Well I can't mess things up any more than I already have.

He took a deep breath working up his courage and then softly knocked on the door.

"Please, I would not like to see anyone at this moment." Starfire said timidly. Robin closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the door.

"Star…" he said shakily. Starfire jumped at the voice; she knew exactly who it was.

"Robin?" Her heart froze. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach at the sound of her voice. It sounded so hurt. He could tell by the quivering tone in her voice that she had been crying.

"Can I come in?" he asked expecting the answer to be hell no.

"You may." she answered her voice still quivering. He entered her room leisurely, still not sure what to do or what to say. She was sitting a chair facing the window. When he had entered, he went over and sat down on her bed; she turned from the window and raised a tiny eyebrow at him. "Is there something I can assist you with?" she asked in a indifferent tone.

"Umm…no Star, I just wanted to say…umm.. Well…I wanted to apologize." Robin said while looking at the floor. He couldn't even look at her, he was ashamed of himself. "The things I said, I didn't mean them Star…" he tired to explain. She shook her head, and closed her eyes afraid of crying in front of him.

"It is alright. You need not to worry about me." Starfire said wishing he would leave and let her be alone; it hurt to look at him. "If there is nothing else, I wish to go to bed" she said dismissingly.

"Come on Star, I'm really sorry! Do you think we can go back to the way things were?" he pleaded.

"I am not certain things will be the same Robin." She said with a single tear falling from her eye.

"Star, look I'm really sorry! I was just afraid of losing you! I didn't mean to act like that. I mean you were the girl, who scared me witless, but the very same person who brought me peace, purpose…and wholeness." Robin insisted trying to make her understand. Seeing Star with that distressed face was overwhelming.

"Yes Robin, I forgive you, but I just do not know…" Starfire replied with a solemn face. "I kept trying to tell you something important Robin, somthing I have wished you to know for a long time...but you did not listen. You…you said you did not want to know and you did not care." She said closing her eyes and turning her head away from his gaze.

"I do care Star, I was just mad; please tell me?" Robin asked. Starfire sighed and opened her eyes. She got up from her chair and sat down next to him on the bed.

She bit her bottom lip, and breathed deeply. "I wanted to tell you that…I am in love with you." She said never breaking her fix upon his face. Robin was astounded, he didn't deserve her love. But he had it. He smiled kindly at her. Robin's hand flew up to her cheek and cupped. She molded to his touch. He stared at her for a long time; her hand went to his face, her fingers were under his eyes. She lifted his mask ever so slightly, he pulled away slightly. "Robin…" she said softly. He stopped and returned to her hold. Starfire slid her fingers to his face again brushing against his lips. Robin closed his eyes and lost control of himself, he leaned in closer to her. Robin was startled by the cool air he felt against his eyes, she had taken off his mask. He opened his eyes slowly, Starfire's features coming into focus. She looked beautiful, supremely regal. She was smiling at him with loving kindness. Robin's heart beat with fear and joy. He needed her; he wanted her.

"You have most glorious eyes…" she told him sweetly. His eyes were a smokey blue, a color she had never seen before but could spend the rest of her life gazing into.

Starfire's arms wrapped themselves Robin's neck, her hands stroking his hair. She pulled him closer to her. He melted into her. Robin flipped her over onto her back. Before he knew it, his mouth met hers; he kissed her greedily, taking all of her in. He slipped his tongue into her mouth. Starfire squealed, she had never been kissed like this. She regained herself quickly and kissed him back passionately. He ran his fingers through her soft hair; she moved her hands onto his shoulders bringing him close to her body. A sense of well-being overcame Robin. Her mouth was sweet and soft. He wanted more of her affection, as much as she would give him. Holy crap...i cnat belive this is happening, she's here in my arms...she loves me...O my gosh she smells amazing. He smiled to himself. Robin slowly slid his hand to her lower back. Starfire deepened the kiss; the closer Robin was to her the happier she was. She moved her hands onto his face and caressed his cheeks, never breaking the kiss. It was a long time before they broke, but both of them needing air, they finally pulled away from each other. Starfire breathed heavily.

"Does this mean you feel as I do?" she asked him worriedly.

"I love you too Star." Robin answered with a wild grin on his face.

Starfire was overwhelmed by happiness, relief, and love. "I am most glad!" she squealed laughing and crying at the same time. Robin laughed softly into her hair.

Robin sat up and looked at his feet. "Star, you know I'm really sorry about what I said and how I handled thing right?" Robin questioned anxiously. Starfire looked at her hands and then at Robin.

"Love means always being able to forgive Robin." She said her voice was sweet and musical. He sighed with relief. Starfire snuggled happily into Robin's arms.

"Good." Robin breathed putting his mask back onto its original place. He laid back down on the bed bringing Starfire with him. He yawned, his voice was lower; he was exhausted. His heart had finally slowed down, after racing so much from the past while. Starfire let a small yawn escape her mouth; she was also growing tired. Her eyes fluttered and her breaths became long and heavy. Robin glanced down only to find Starfire asleep in his arms. A smile crossed his face as he whispered, "Good Night Star."

That night they both slept better than ever before. In the morning Robin woke up to Starfire's smiling yet sleepy face next to his. He brushed the hair out of her face and gently placed it behind her ear. She stirred slightly. The sound of someone clearing their throat brought Robin out of his daze.

"Glad to see you made up. Breakfast is ready. " Raven said lightly. Robin smiled at her as if to say thank you. Raven left the room half smiling. Robin leaned back on the bed and kissed Star's forehead. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled beautifully up at him.

"Good morning Star." Robin whispered.

"Good morning friend." She said sleepily. "I believe I heard the mention of breakfast?" she asked with two tiny eyebrows raised inquiringly. Robin chuckled and nodded his head. They got up and stumbled about the room and bumping into each other. They finally made it to the kitchen. Robin had his strong arms wrapped around Starfire's tiny waist. They were too busy staring at each other to notice that every one in the kitchen was staring at them with their mouths gaping open. (With the exception of Raven).

"Awww…that's just not fair." Speedy wined quickly going back to his Fruit Loops.

"Senior...Usted es el hombre más afortunado en el planeta." Menos wheezed.

"So…you and Star?" Cyborg asked with furrowed brows. Bee nudged Cyborg in the stomach.

"I think it's great." Bee said giving Cyborg an annoyed look.

"Yeah…Cy…me and Star." Robin said proudly while looking at Starfire adoringly. She smiled back at him. "Well…if you guys don't need us anymore I think it's time we get back to Jump City." He added.

"I think we can manage." Speedy said coldly. He was still holding a grudge. He wasn't in love with Starfire but her rejection was still painful.

"Yeah, we'll be fine. You guys go on." Bee said pleasantly.

"You call anytime you need me… I mean us." Cyborg said winking at Bee. Bee just smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Sure thing Sparky…" Bee said giving him a small flirtatious kiss on the cheek.

"Let's go already…I miss my Gamestation!" Beast Boy wined. Raven gave him an irritated looked and slapped him on the back of his head. "Owwww! What'd I do?" Beast Boy asked rubbing the back of his head.

The Titans made they're way out of the Tower with Beast Boy still rubbing his head and Raven scolding him on his manners, Cyborg was stumbling out of the room in a dreamy state that almost caused him to walk into the wall, and of course Robin and Starfire still staring affectionately at each other.

Just as Robin was about walk through the door he felt a hand grab his arm. He quickly turned around to see Speedy behind him. Speedy gave Robin a look that was cold and resentful.

"Guess you can win at everything." Speedy said vindictively.

Robin, who felt a little bad for Speedy just gave him a pat on the shoulder, smiled and walked back to Starfire. I didn't win anything… Starfire isn't anything to be won…she is the greatest and most astounding gift anyone could have. Robin thought to himself.

"Robin…you are ok? Yes?" Starfire asked with anxious eyes as she watched his face. Robin shook his head which broke his daze. He looked at Starfire and smiled wondering why he deserved and ended up with such an angelic person.

"Yeah…Star. I'm great." Robin said kissing her forehead gently.

Well...there it is, the last chapter. not to shaby i think for my first. O and someone had mentioned that my story or part of it sound an awful like another...well i can assure you that it (as in mine) is very much orignal. I think if you cant write your own stories then why post things at all. if you like something you see just show it to someone but dont say its ours. i have to admit i was alittle hurt by the comment but it's ok cause i have nothing to hide. but anyways now im wayyyy off subject...thanks to all the reivewers... Brix, Emerald Mask, longhairhorse, skye668, kyla45. i luv you all (they updated the most, incase you were wondering.)