Bijin: Okay... as of now I'm not using kitty-chan as my name anymore since it's kinda outdated. The friends I have that call me Kitty I haven't seen in years, and for a while now, everyone knows me as Bijin, so that's me now. Deal with it. I'll be going through my old stories to not only change the names to Bijin, but also to try and sort out all the grammatical errors. I've been looking for an excuse to do thatnyway. But whatever.
Alright... to the story! Sorry this one took so long. My sister and I haven't had any ebil plotting sessions in a while and we finally did it at about one o'clock in the morning on a camping trip, so... we were slightly slap-happy when we wrote this. Hope you enjoy. Oh! By the way... here's Cate who is going to do the reader response thingies. Here she is.
Hellooooo mortals! This is Cate, Sister and Regular Pwner of Bijin, So bow to me and my devilishly clever ideas, which birthed this story andmany of the ideas that fuel the evil.Also, I have taken over the replies and it will not be pretty, run while you can. You won't get far though.
KJ: A Translation! I don't need a translation! I am well versed in the ways of netspeechings! Anyway, blame the errors on Bijin, cause I don't actually write this stuff. However you canblame me for theawesomeness of teh fic... And yes, they are bad >D
Kimmy: BAD GRAMMAR! And spelling,it's funnier! And more should be shotwith duck guns. You could say, it was funnier, or Cate is a god on earth, or it was the most funny thing evar. :D And of course it's funnier,Ihad more to do with it!
I LoveInuyashaSama:Of course he didn't kill him! Then we wouldn't have anyone to torment in this chapter! Yes, Sessy is in trouble, cause it's funny. You can't wait? Well you did. Good job. Have a cookie. This chapter is much better too! Just for you! Actually it's because I wrote it. Alright, I lied. Bijin wrote it. But I was the Great Inspirerer! So nyeh.
Alright, I shall give it back to Bijin, But review! And I might decide to come back and insult more of you. Oh yes, and if you're one of those people who SKIP THE REVIEW ANSWERS! Go back and READ THEM! Cause THEY'RE FUNNY! Cause I wrote them. So READ AND REVIEW OR I WILL COME FOR YOOOOOU. YES, I know where you are, right now.
-Cate
As you can see, my sister is a bit more or less rather full of herself. And... she just told me to bite her. Excuse me...
ptoo!
Now that that's done. Let's see. That took forever since Cate got into a sneezing fit and was sneezing too hard to actually say anything. It was rather humorous, but her nose is turning purple. Eep. Okay... while we freak out about thatwhy don't you work on the chapter. Hope you enjoy it since it has been one of my favorite ones to write. Much luv!
The stuff with (#) next to it is translated at the end of the chapter. Enjoy!
"Oooh... my head..." He could barely feel his own hand upon his head as he rubbed his temples. His entire body felt oddly numb, and he couldn't yet bring himself to open his eyes. "What the hell happened?" He recalled going to breakfast, or was that simply sme bizzare dream? Either way, he wasn't sure where he was at the moment. The bed he lay in was oddly harder than the one he had lay down to sleep in last night, and after a moment, he found he was not actually lying down. He was sitting up. His weight placement was nearly intangible as his body and head were swimming in La La Land so deeply he could hardly breathe real-world air. Why he felt so drunk, he had no idea. Never in his life had he drank sake. Never felt the urge to.
Feeling began to slowly return to his body, and the only thing he could solidly feel was weight. His body felt unbelievably heavy. His hand dropped down to his side again, and his orange eyes fluttered a few times, trying to focus themselves, or even remain open for more than a few seconds. His senses beginning to return, he sensed a presence beside him, and stretched out his feelings, attempting to identify his companion. As the reminder of the hell he was currently in came crashing back down upon him he realized it was none other than his older brother and he growled. "What the hell are you doing here, Sesshomaru?" He demanded, his tone flucuating as it did often enough when one was high or at least drunk.
"I could ask you the same thing, hanyou (1)... this is my house." He grumbled. He sounded as intoxicated as Inuyasha felt. Inuyasha's eyes opened once more to find they were, in fact, not in the castle they had spent the night in, but sat propped up against some large rock in the middle of a wooded area. But as far as Inuyasha could tell they were in some swirling pool of greens and browns.
"We're not in a house, you idiot." Inuyasha shot back.
"Don't be mean." Sesshomaru mumbled. "I'll kick you out."
Inuyasha was far too incapacitated to actually register Sesshomaru's odd speech, and so opened his eyes further and began looking around, his vision clearing. Inuyasha found it suddenly necissary to stand and get a better view of the area and began to position his arms to work himself to his feet.
He suddenly found his left hand was oddly heavy.
He looked down.
"You friggin tied my hand to the ground, ya bastard." He slurred, plopping back down onto his butt. "Lemme go."
Sesshomaru looked blearily down at his own left hand and shook his head. "I didn't do that, stupid... your hand isn't tied to the ground..."
In fact... it was chained.
It was not chained to the ground.
Inuyasha's left hand was chained firmly to Sesshomaru's right hand.
Being more coherent than his brother, Inuyasha shot suddenly to his feet, pulling his left arm with him. This also tugged at Sesshomaru's right arm and yanked him from his sitting position, up and then face down into the dirt as his body wasn't quite ready to support himself.
"You moron." Sesshomaru growled into the ground.
"What the hell is this?" Inuyasha demanded, reaching for Tetsusaiga, which, conveniantly, was absent from his hip. He looked down. "Tetsusaiga is gone!"
Sesshomaru finally pulled his face from the dirt and scrambled onto his knees, reaching his feet soon after and looking down to his own belt. "Tenseiga's gone, too." He muttered, his words still slurring slightly. "And what is this?" He inquired, lifting his right arm as if showing himself the handcuffs. "Why in the name of god am I handcuffed to you?"
"You think I know?" Inuyasha demanded. He raised his claws to strike, but paused, staring at the chains.
Sesshomaru gave him a look. "What are you waiting for?"
Inuyasha growled at him. "Shut up. If I use Sankoptessou, it'll slice both our wrists off, and I doubt you want that." He sighed. "Can't you melt it with your poison claws?"
Sesshomaru stared at him.
"With what?" His empty sleeve fluttered feebly.
Inuyasha waved his free hand around. "Well... try using the hand that's cuffed. Turn your wrist and use the poison there."
Sesshomaru stared at him again. He sighed and conceded, twisting his wrist in several different directions to try and target the rather short chain. In the end, the chain was far too short to allow him room to melt it. Inuyasha stared at him. "You sure you can't use your Sankoptessou?" Sesshomaru inquired quietly, turning his body around to allow a new angle for his wrist in an effort to melt the chain.
"If you want to lose your wrist, fine. ButI doubt it considering you only have one." Inuyasha smirked.
Sesshomaru turned and immediately tackled his brother to the ground, swinging his chained hand angrily, but Inuyasha simply held his left arm out to the side, pinning Sesshomaru's out as well, causing the full-demon to fall face first onto Inuyasha's chest. Inuyasha coughed and shrugged his brother off, standing and smirking, taking off at a full run in a circle around his brother, not giving him time to regain his feet and simply dragging his face in the mud as he went. "I could do this all day!" Inuyasha laughed as he heard several curses coming from the dirt. His fun was halted as something behind him grabbed his belt and lifted him off the ground. He looked up.
Inutaishou was sending a toothy grin down at him.
"Ohayo(2), son." He muttered. He glanced down at Sesshomaru, who finally made it to his feet and picked him up as well. "You too, Sesshomaru. Now... as you can see-!"
"What the hell is this? Why am I tied to him?" Inuyasha demanded, pointing a hand at Sesshomaru. Seshomaru growled.
Inutaishou chuckled and dropped them both to the ground, warrenting a grunt from both. "You see... that is the next test. If you'll notice, you are in the middle of a small forest just east of Sesshomaru's castle. You two must make your way through this forest andget it to the other side where everyone else is waiting... like that." He pointed at the handcuffs.
Sesshomaru stared.
Inuyasha stared.
Inutaishou was gone.
There was a long silence as the two thought over what had just been said.
"For the love of god, he's got to be kidding me." Inuyasha muttered. "There is no way in hell this is gonna work."
"Well, I'm not about to sit here all day and wait for him to come get us, alright? He'll kill us if we fail this one, too. I think that goes without saying." Sesshomaru stood, yanking Inuyasha to his feet and began walking, dragging the poor hanyou along behind him.
Inuyasha seemed to be in a state of shock as he was roughly pulled along behind his brother. His mind wandered back to his awakening. "How did he get the handcuffs on us and get us out here. I think I remember having breakfast..."
Sesshomaru stopped. "Yeah... same here. Chichi-we(3)... must've..."
Inuyasha punched Sesshomaru in the back of the head. "He spiked our tea you idiot!" he cried.
Sesshomaru stumbled foreward, feeling something tug at his ankle, but ignored it, turning back to his brother. "What the hell was that for?"
"He spiked our tea and you didn't realize it?" Inuyasha demanded.
Neither saw the log.
"Apparently you didn't either!" Sesshoamru countered.
The log set its course.
"I thought you were supposed to be mighty Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands, but you can't even tell when dad spiked our drinks!"
The log swung.
"Filthy half-breed, youre so weak you didn't notice it either!"
The log made its target.
The argument was rudely cut off as a large and rather thick log swung down and slammed into two guts, sending the owners of the guts flying backward, where they landed, and stood again. Inuyasha pointed at the log, which had completed its first swing and was now swinging backward, losing its momentum, though it still held a healthy amount. "You didn't see that either!"
"Oh like you did!"
Another log was dislodged and no words were spoken as it vaulted them back where they had come from, though they didn't even touch the ground as the first log swung back and creamed them both in the gut again, launching them back to land with a thud below the second swinging log. Both lay in stunned silence for a moment before Inuyasha finally spoke.
"I hate you."
"Likewise."
The second log continued to swing meagerly back and forth above them for a few minutes more before they leapt to their feet and dashed away before it could catch them again. Sesshomaru sighed. "Be more aware next time!" He commanded.
"Me be aware? I didn't see you dodge that log!" Inuyasha's eyes suddenly bulged and he dropped to the ground, Sesshomaru remaining on his feet and raising an eyebrow at his brother. He turned slightly to see the end of a log swinging right at him.
"Oh hell..."
The circular log's end impacted his back, sending him flying away toward a small marsh, a yelp coming from his throat. However, things had not quite worked out as Inuyasha had planned as he had suddenly overlooked his own attachment to Sesshomaru and was rudely jerked off his feetas his left hand was yanked nearly out of joint and his entire body was went hurdling after Sesshomaru's. The full demon's body hit the water with a clapping splat, and Inuyasha landed on top of him soon after, his full body spread out when he landed, making a sickening slapping sound. The poor half-dog curled up immediately, nursing his abused middle. Sesshomaru suddenly stood, throwing Inuyasha headfirst back into the water, and beganmarching out of the marsh, dragging the sputtering Inuyasha along.
"I can't take this, I tell you." He dragged Inuyasha onto shore and flopped him onto his back, stepping on his chest and leaning down to get in his face. "I'm not going to deal with this any more, you got that? From now on, you do what I say, and we'll get out of here, got it?"
Inuyasha, still too stunned to form an answer just stared stupidly at him as he heard a bit more creaking. Sesshomaru looked up, coming face to face with yet another log end, hurling him back into the marsh, but only taking him as far as his arm's reach, pulling Inuyasha to his knees, but not into the marsh. Inuyasha couldn't help but snicker. Sesshomaru's form exploded out of the water and he stalked back onto land, shaking himself off, then hurrying away, dragging Inuyasha to his feet and then west toward where his castle would be.
There was an odd silence between them as both seemed too frustrated to actually say anything. Inuyasha stared at the ground as they continued to walk, and finally muttered.
"It's your own fault you know."
Sesshomaru instantly had turned on his heel and held an index finger in Inuyasha's face. "If you had warned me about those damned logs, I wouldn't be this wet!"
"And that would benefit me... how?" Inuyasha inquired.
"I would warn you of stuff if you warned me." Sesshomaru answered arrogantly.
"Like what?" Inuyasha demanded, crossing his arms and pulling Sesshomaru's hand into an awkward position. It seemedthe inquiry did not require a responseas the answer to Inuyasha's flat question came in the form of a simple arrow, impaling Inuyasha's free right bicep. He twitched slightly, his teeth gritting and his eyes bulging.
"That." Sesshomaru chuckled, his smirk dripping with arrogance.
Inuyasha glanced down at the arrow, then attempted to remove it with his cuffed hand, but Sesshomaru held his hand still. "Knock it off!" Inuyasha commanded. "This thing hurts like hell!"
"Deal with it. This arm is my only defense and you're not occupying it, moron." Sesshomaru countered. He suddenly froze and Inuyasha got use of the arm, removing the arrow and then looking back at Sesshomaru.
"What's wrong with you?" Inuyasha inquired. Sesshomaru's only response was to cough heavily, nearly choking on his own tongue as he did. He barely stopped to breathe, his simple coughs turning into a full-fledged fit. Inuyasha stared at Sesshomaru as the dog demon collapsed onto his knees, dragging Inuyasha to his also, his cuffed hand at his own neck. this gave Inuyasha a chance to examine a small piece of rectangular paper that was oddly attached to Sesshomaru's back. "What the...?" There were several characters scribbled along the side, but the largest writing displayed the word cough. Inuyasha paused for a moment before ripping the sutra off his back and tossing it over his shoulder.
"Miroku's sutras are in on this, and I suspect that was one of Kagome's arrows." Sesshomaru panted for a long moment before standing again and growling.
"I thought I told you to warn me about that stuff!" He accused.
"No way! That was funny as hell!" As if to reinforce his point, Inuyasha snickered quietly.
Sesshomaru glared at him, but smirked as Inuyasha froze as he had, his body giving a tingle for a moment before his lips curved upward in a smile, a weak chuckle leaving his lips before he burst out in full-fledged laughing. As Sesshomaru had done, he barely stopped to breathe. Sesshomaru watched him collapse to his knees, and leaned over to examine the sutra. Laugh. "Nice." he chuckled. He was about to remove the sutra, when his body let out another twitch. His lungs suddenly spasmed along with his diaphragm. His vocals pushed out small yelps as he continued. Sesshomaru didn't even have to look to know what was now on his back.
"Hic hic up. hic" He grunted. He felt suddenly very foolish and it almost seemed as if Inuyasha suddenly had something to laugh at.
"Get it... hahahahaha... off... hahahaha..." Inuyasha gasped.
"Ihic can't hic, idiot hic." He reached for the sutra, but reaching the sutra meant pulling Inuyasha's left arm higher on his back than he could reach. "I hic might hic pull hic your hic shoulder hic out hic of hic joint hic." He paused. "Never hic mind." With a sickening crack, and some oddly hysterical laughter from Inuyasha, Sesshomaru removed the sutra. Inuyasha's laughter turned slowly from laughing to yelping as he fought to catch his breath and whimper over his damaged shoulder at the same time. He stood and using his other arm, quickly set his shoulder right and moved it around.
"Damn Monk... I'll get him for this."
Sesshomaru cleared his throat, pausing halfway through the sound for a hiccup. "Now... hic get hic this hic damn hic thing hic offa hic me hic!"
Inuyasha nearly stared laughing again, but rounded his brother and pulled the sutra from his back. Sesshomaru held his gut, feeling as if he was gonna be sick, and turning away from him. "Oh god... let's get out of here." His eyes bulged as yet another small piece of paper flew at him. At the correct time, he ducked. With some hissing and some screaming, the paper sealed itself to Inuyasha's forehead. Sesshomaru craned his neck from his crouched position long enough to see the word before Inuyasha took off running.
Run.
"Damnit all." Sesshomaru didn't have time to get to his feet before he was dragged roughly to the ground behind his cursed brother, who seemed to have no intention of stopping any time soon. Unwillingly, of course.
He was screaming the entire time.
Sesshomaru glanced around the am noticed how many miniscule wires Inuyasha was ignorantly tripping as they went.
That couldn't be good.
Ignorant bastard.
Sesshomaru yelped as another arrow impaled itself, this time, inhis left leg and another hit his stump of an arm. This seemed to offend him slightly, but now was not the time for offense. He yelped loudly as his body was pulled roughly over a large rock, and the branch of a thorn bush wrapped itself around his cuffed wrist.
For god's sake, the forest was trying to make him commit suicide!
Not that he wasn't close to doing that anyway.
Inuyasha certainly wan't any different. Another sutra had landed on his shoulder and his arms were now flapping up and down, his legs taking short breaks from running to leap into the air a few inches before his obligation to run forced him back to earth. Another sutra caught in Sesshomaru's hair and eventually attached to his back. He craned his neck to glance at it and his eyes dialated.
Dig.
His arms were unavailable, but to Sesshomaru's dismay, his legs worked perfectly fine, so as he skidded along the ground, they began to scratch into the dirt, attempting to bury themselves and him in the ground as they were roughly vaulted through the forest. Inuyasha's body suffered two more arrows, one in his right leg, the other in his newly repaired soulder before he tripped a wire that sent Inuyasha to the ground and Sesshomaru flopping next to him, his legs digging him into a hip-deep hole beforethe effect of the wireactivated.
Four full buckets of mud were dumped on the two of them, washing away the sutras and halting their progress. The two lay in stunned silence for a while until Inuyasha leapt to his feet, ripping the smeared sutra from his face, then from his shoulder. He squinted at the smeared sutras, and was eventaully able to decipher the characters. "Run? Fly? What the hell?"
Sesshomaru stood, peeling the thorn branch from his wrist, then prying the arrow from his leg and the other from his arm. Inuyasha yanked out his own arrows and began stomping madly away from the mess, shaking his hair free of the mud and muttering darkly under his breath. "This is rediculous!"
Though the two were hopelessly muddly, they continued on, making their way away from the trap-littered area and into a more open area. The sun bathed the clearing making the entire area blessedly visible.
"Hey... now we can see if there are any more traps." Inuyasha declared happily. The two begn their trek across the plain,but they only got about two steps when the ground beneath them suddenly gave way and the two plummeted about ten feet into a dark pit, Inuyasha landing on his back, and Sesshomaru landing on his head... on Inuyasha's gut. Inuyasha swore as Sesshomaru righted himself.
"Yeah... definately." Sesshomaru muttered. "Save for these ones are meant not to be seen, you moron."
"What am I supposed to do?" Inuyasha shot back.
"Get us out of here!" Sesshomaru growled, pointing up with their bound hands. Inuyasha rolled his eyes then leapt out of the pit, pulling Sesshomaru along with him, and eventually, they found themselves in theopen again. Inuyasha looked around the ground, trying to spot any more pits, but he saw nothing but simple and plain land. He growled. "How are we supposed to get through this damn place?"
"Come on, let's just start walking this way." Sesshomaru instructed, walking off toward the left. Inuyasha planted his feet, and gave the cuffs a yank. This pulled Sesshomaru rather roughly and his balance was lost. He tumbled backward and to Inuyasha's dismay, the ground he fell on gave way to a second pit. Inuyasha braced himself, but even he could not stop Sesshomaru's weight and his momentum combined and so was roughly and rudely dragged into the pit with him.
"Damnit!" Inuyasha screamed as he landed headfirst on... Sesshomaru's head. The two righted themselves and held ont their scalps, attempting to calm the instant headaches received. "Will you walk right, you idiot?"
"Will you not tug on the cuffs?" Sesshomaru countered as Inuyasha leapt out of the pit again and pulled him out as well.
Inuyasha headed to the right. "Let's go this way."
"No way. We're going this way." Sesshomaru motioned to the left with his head.
Inuyasha growled. "Last time we tried that way, we ended up in another pit, genius!"
"Only because you sent me into one!"
"If you're going to always pin the blame on me, why don't we just walk straight through the area and see how many we fall into?" Inuyasha challenged. Without waiting for an answer, he immediately began walking, the ground giving way within seconds. Sesshomaru braced himself, hoping that by assuming an odd angle in response to his position, he could possibly stop himself from being dragged in. It worked... sort of.
Very... sort of...
Sesshomaru was not pulled foreward, but rather pulled sideways at his odd angle and so tumbled into a pit directly near the one Inuyasha had fallen in. The chain between the cuffs caught on the land between them and the two felt their heads crack against the sides of the dirt as they were effectively hung from their handcuffed wrists. Sesshomaru growled as he truly had no way of getting out. His feet couldn't get a very good grip on the walls, and his other arm was rather useless. Inuyasha wasn't moving at this point, and he wondered if he could. Sesshomaru called over to Inuyasha,
"I hate you."
"Likewise."
There was a long silence as the two simply hung between the two pits, trying to concoct a sheme to get out. Finally, Sesshomaru spoke.
"This has got to stop. I am wet... I am muddy... I smell like cut roses, and I have mud in my pants and in my ears. We've gotta do something about this."
"Yeah, like get out of here!" Inuyasha inquired, somehow vaulting himself out of the pit and yanking Sesshomaru out as well. "Just... shut up... and start walking, pansy." Sesshomaru growled and immediately tackled his younger brother...
... right into another pit.
"Oh damnit all!"
Bijin: That took long enough. Cate's still sneezing away. Oh well. We'll get an excorcist for her later. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! The last installment of Sibling School will come soon. Hopefully within the next few days as I am nearly done with it now. Cate and I planned the last two chapters at the same time, so... yeah. See you then. Oh... and REVIEW! Flames accepted. Just tell us what you think! Much luv!