Disclaimer: I own Jess, Allen, and Steve. Dick owns everyone else.

Thanks for all the reviews! I think I love all of you. No, really. I honestly think I love you all…

Oh, and this chapter has spoilers for "Night" like whoa. Consider yourselves warned.

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After a long, relaxing bath, Alex and Olivia put on their pajamas and climbed into bed. Ever since Olivia had moved in with her, Alex had only had two rules for sleeping together: one, she had to be facing Olivia at all times. She had to be able to see who was with her. Second, she needed to have her arms free. If Olivia wanted to wrap an arm around her, she had to do it under Alex's arm. Night after night, Olivia complied with these needs, without complaining or arguing. It amazed Alex how patient Olivia was – how willing she was to put up with her stupid needs. That night, however, Alex let her guard down completely. She curled up next to Olivia, her back to her so they were spooning. When she felt Olivia's arm squeeze under her own and gently wrap around her, she smiled. Olivia still cared about her, still loved her, despite how difficult it had been in the bathroom only minutes earlier. "I love you," she said softly as she slowly lifted Olivia's arm and placed her own underneath it so Olivia's was on top. She held Olivia's hand with both of hers. "Thanks for tonight."

Olivia lifted her head and lightly kissed the top of Alex's head and squeezed her hand. She brushed the hair out of Alex's face and smiled. "You did everything." She sighed happily. "I am so proud of you, Alex. You are by far the strongest, bravest woman I know, and definitely the most beautiful." She kissed the top of her head again and laid her own head back down on the pillow. "I love you so much."

Alex held tight to Olivia's hand as she closed her eyes. Before tonight, she would have been terrified to have someone pinning her arm to her body, but now, she felt safer than she could ever remember feeling. With Olivia's arm wrapped tightly around her, she knew everything was okay. She smiled, completely amazed at how great her life was turning out to be. "Good night, Olivia."

Olivia squeezed Alex's hand again, realizing she'd done it about a million times, but also knowing how much a simple squeeze can convey. She was completely in shock at the bravery Alex had shown that night. It was at that moment that she knew everything was going to be okay. "Good night, Alex."

Both women feel into a deep and peaceful sleep that lasted the entire night. Alex wasn't bothered by a single nightmare, and she relished in the fact that Olivia's arm was securely around her. She snuggled into Olivia's embrace as close as she possibly could and let sleep slowly overtake her.

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Jess arrived at the house promptly at eleven a.m. with several armloads of supplies to help Alex decorate the apartment. She came decked out in sweatpants and a grimy tank top. Her hair pulled into a tight ponytail, she waltzed into Alex's living room to do a quick inspection. After checking out all the rooms, she and Alex met up back in the living room.

"So, what do you think?" Alex asked.

Jess smiled. She could tell how excited Alex was about this place. "I think the two of you are going to be very happy hear. It's perfect. It just needs a little color. White walls are boring. Now I'm going to throw something out there that might be a little crazy, but just go with me on this one. I'm thinking blue walls with red trim here. Look," she said as she pulled out several gallons of paint. "I even stopped by Sears before I came over. We can start painting now. We'll surprise Olivia."

Alex laughed and shook her head as she pulled her own hair back. Jess' enthusiasm for this was contagious. All of a sudden, she wanted to dip all the paintbrushes into that paint and just throw it onto the walls. "I think we'd better throw some drop cloths over everything or we're going to have one hell of a mess."

"Damn right we are," Jess said as she pulled out several large drop cloths. "That's why I brought these. Didn't think I'd come unprepared did you? Ready to get started?"

"Absolutely."

As Alex draped the drop cloths over all the furniture and opened and stirred the blue paint, Jess pulled out Alex's CD player and stuck in the CD she brought from home. Once she put it in, she went to help Alex finish getting everything prepped. When both she and Alex had a paintbrush in their hand, she pressed play.

Listen, baby
Ain't no mountain high
Ain't no valley low
Ain't no river wide enough, baby

As soon as the music started playing, Alex laughed. She looked over at Jess and shook her head. Jess just raised her eyebrows playfully as she started dancing. "Come on, it's a fun song do dance to, and an even better one to paint to. Now start painting!" Alex rolled her eyes and dipped her brush into the paint. As she turned to put it onto the wall, she noticed Jess dancing around, smiling and singing along.

If you need me, call me
No matter where you are
No matter how far
Just call my name
I'll be there in a hurry
You don't have to worry

Alex smiled at the girl when she understood what Jess was trying to do. Yes the song was upbeat and definitely a good pick to paint to, but Alex could see the look in Jess' eyes as she was dancing and singing along. Jess wanted to make sure Alex understood how she really felt. After an emotionally draining evening the night before, she was glad Jess had found a lighter, more upbeat way to express exactly what Olivia had already expressed to her: that she was loved, and that those around her would be there for her no matter what time, day or night, she needed them. There was no way she could put into words how grateful she was that Jess was playing that song. She smiled as she started painting the wall. "Thank you," she mouthed.

Jess smiled and winked before sticking her own paintbrush in the can and painting the wall. Her plan had worked. She was so scared she was going to come off looking cheesy and stupid, but it had worked exactly how she wanted. She continued singing along as she painted until the song was over, excited at how much fun the two of them were going to have putting the new house together.

Don't you know that
There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you…

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Casey was ready to rip the ringing phone out of the socket and sling it across the room. She knew she could shatter it into a million pieces, too, especially with all the softball experience she had. She looked at her caller id and was even more tempted to do just that. It was Kurt Simpkins, Jennings' top attorney in what appeared to be a team of six lawyers. She was really starting to hate rich people who used their wealth to squash others. In the past four months, he had been successful in appealing the court's ruling to allow the bloody underwear into evidence four times. He claimed it was outside the scope of the warrant. Each time, Casey had successfully argued that there had been no limitations on the warrant and that the evidence was admissible in court. Each time Casey won, Simpkins appealed. The last time had been three days ago, and he was calling again. She was sure he was going to appeal again. It was just another strategy to delay the trail as much as possible. He wanted to keep his client out of jail as long as he could. She rolled her eyes at the ringing phone as she picked it up.

"Novak."

"Casey! How are ya?" Simpkins voice was overly happy and excited, full of that bullshit, kiss-up enthusiasm.

"What do you want Simpkins?" Casey asked through clenched teeth, not in the mood to play games or argue with him. The shorter this conversation, the better.

He laughed. "Hostile, Casey. Is that any way to treat an old friend?" He chuckled smugly. "And here I thought you'd be glad to hear from me. After all, we have decided to stop appealing the admission of your bloody underwear."

"What do you want, Simpkins?" she asked again.

"To tell you that we've got a date in court. December twentieth. Ten a.m. Oh, and be sure to tell your boss that we'll be calling her to the stand. She's one of our key witnesses."

Before Casey could respond, the line went dead. She set the receiver down and stared at it in disbelief. The trial was in two weeks! Before any excitement could set in, however, worry engulfed her. Alex was one of the key witnesses for the defense? What the hell was going on? She was so angry she needed to throw something. She reached for the phone, but before she could throw it across the room, it rang. She would have ignored it had she not glimpsed at the caller id and noticed that it was Alex.

"Alex?" she answered.

"Casey?" Alex's panicky, terrified voice asked on the other end.

"Alex, what's wrong?"

"They want me to testify!" she screamed. "I have to testify on his behalf!" Her voice was full of pain and fear. "I can't do it, Casey! I can't!"

Casey closed her eyes and wiped away a tear. She wasn't sure how Simpkins had gotten away with this, especially since Jennings wasn't being charged with Alex's assault. The statute of limitations had expired years ago. There had to be something they had dug up in Alex's past – something Alex hadn't mentioned. "I'm coming over right now," she told Alex. "We're going to figure this out, I promise."

As she drove to Alex's house, she cursed the world. It was great that the trial was finally moving forward, but if this is what it took to make that happen, she'd delay it at all costs. This wasn't fair. She'd seen the photos and read what the police had been able to document. There was no doubt in her mind that Alex had been raped. All she could think was that by clouding Alex's story, the jury would be more likely to doubt the guilt of Jennings. Casey knew it was bullshit at best, especially with the evidence, but if Alex had been served, she had to appear in court. There was no arguing it. This was going to be hell.

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The doorbell rang and Olivia opened it slowly. Casey smiled sadly as Olivia let her inside. She hated that she had to do this. It was going to be even harder than when she had told Alex she knew her secret. She cursed herself for being put in this position again.

"How could this happen, Casey?" Olivia asked. "He's not being charged with her assault. Her story was only allowed in because it proved a pattern."

Casey nodded. "I know. I have no idea what's going on, but I need to talk to Alex, and I need to talk to her alone." She noticed Olivia back away defensively and she shook her head understandingly. "I know you want to be there for you, and I am so glad that she has someone like you to be there for her, but Olivia, I really need to find out what's going on."

Olivia sighed and nodded. She knew there may still be secrets Alex was hiding, secrets she wasn't ready to tell Olivia yet. She took a deep breath. Her throat was sore from crying so much with Alex. The woman had collapsed into hysterics when she'd received the notice. "She's in the bedroom," she said, her voice hoarse. "Go easy on her, Case. She's really upset."

"I will make this as painless as I possibly can, I promise." Casey said as she made her way to the bedroom. She knocked softly as she cautiously opened the door. Alex was sitting on the edge of the bed, her face soaked with tears. "I'm so sorry, Alex," she said as she sat down and took her hand. "I had no idea they were going to pull this, I swear."

Alex nodded and smiled weakly. "I know you didn't. It's not your fault. I just wish I knew what was going on. I wish I knew why they want me to testify for him."

Casey closed her eyes, hating herself for what she was about to ask, but knowing it had to be done. "Alex, they got this past a judge, which means they found something that could be relevant. I'm so sorry but you know I have to ask this. Is there anything that happened, anything you may have done, that might arouse suspicion as to whether or not you were really raped?"

Alex recoiled in horror. She had known the question was coming, but hearing it still wasn't easy, especially coming out of a friend's mouth. She immediately got defensive. "I was raped, Casey!" she yelled angrily. "I'm not making it up!"

Casey hated herself for doing this. She squeezed Alex's hand supportively. "Oh, honey, I know. I know. We're going to make sure this bastard goes to jail for the rest of his life, I promise." She sighed. This was so damn hard. "I just need to know everything Alex, everything that happened prior to and after your attack. I need to know the events leading up to it. I promise you Alex I will prep the hell out of you for this, but we can't have any surprises in the courtroom. You know that better than anyone else."

"I can't, Casey. I can't!"

Casey sighed. "Look, I know how hard it is to admit when you're a victim." She noticed Alex's puzzled look and nodded. "A few years ago the body of a woman was found with money in her mouth. She'd been raped. After a little while, Olivia and Elliot found out the guy had raped several other women. Only one of them was willing to come forward. She was from Bosnia and she was Muslim. To make a long story short, the guy's lawyer called immigration because she was illegal. I won in court and allowed her to stay here if she testified. Her brother even picked her up at the courthouse and thanked me for letting her stay in the country. Later that night, Olivia and I were working on the case. She left to get coffee. The bastard came up and beat the shit out of me. I was in the hospital for days and had to use a stupid cane for weeks."

Alex's eyes widened. "Casey, I had no idea. Olivia never said anything…"

Casey nodded, "Yea, it's not exactly something we talk about everyday. We still had to prosecute, and I had to talk about everything. The worst part was that I couldn't remember a damn thing about the attack. I know what happened to me doesn't even compare to the hell you went through, but I just want you to know that on some level, I understand how hard it is to talk about what happened." She rubbed Alex's back gently. "I need to know everything, Alex. We need to be ready for anything."

She was right. Alex knew Casey needed to know everything, but that didn't make it any easier. She hadn't told Olivia this – she wasn't sure if she ever would tell her. Now, however, it looked like she might have to. She looked down to her lap and closed her eyes. "What if she hates me for it?"

And there it was. Casey cringed to know the defense had found something legible enough to get Alex on the stand. She gently rubbed her boss' back. "Nobody's going to hate you, sweetie. I promise."

Alex sat up straight and took a deep breath. Casey needed to hear everything. Jennings needed to go to jail for what he'd done. If this was the end of her relationship with Olivia, maybe it wasn't meant to be. She was willing to risk her new happiness to make sure this bastard rotted in hell. She found herself grabbing Casey's hand for support, and didn't even think twice about it.

"It's going to be okay Alex, I promise. It's okay."

She swallowed and took several deep breaths. "I was questioning my sexuality even then," she started. "There was this boy I thought was really cute, but at the same time, I found myself attracted to a girl from one of my classes. I remember talking to a few friends about it. I felt so bad because being gay was completely against everything my parents had ever taught me and I knew if I came out they'd disown me. So, I agreed to try to have sex with a guy friend of mine. He was two years older and promised to be gentle. It hurt the first time, but a few times later, I started really enjoying it." She laughed, embarrassed. She couldn't believe she was actually telling Casey this. When she felt Casey's hand gently rubbing her back, she tucked away her shame and continued. "I figured if I could have sex enough times with him, I wouldn't really be gay. It didn't work, but I tried anyway. I told a few people that I was trying to 'cure myself,' but I didn't tell anybody I didn't trust, and I only ever slept with the one guy!" Panic was setting in now, and it was coming fast. "They must have found out I was willing to just give myself away to not be gay! That has to be it, right?" She collapsed into Casey's open arms. It felt good to admit the truth, but now she was terrified that Olivia was going to leave her. "God, I feel like such a whore! I was thirteen years old and just giving myself up to him!"

"Hey," Casey said sternly. "You are not a whore, nor have you ever been. You were confused and scared, and you did what you felt was right. It's okay. I promise I will not let the defense paint you out to be a whore. They won't get away with that. They might argue that you wanted to have sex with him to try not to be gay," Casey said softly. "But I promise you I will object if they even hint at the possibility that you wanted this. I know you didn't want this, Alex. This wasn't your fault."

Alex continued to cry in Casey's arms until her eyes were dry. She was so glad Casey was prosecuting this case. There was no way she could ever have admitted this to anyone else. She sat up and forced a weak smile. "Thank you, Casey. You've gone way out of your way to make sure this case moved quickly and smoothly and I appreciate it more than I can say. You've been a great friend through all of this and…I thank you."

"Aw, Alex," Casey said modestly as she brushed the hair out of Alex's face. "You've been a great friend to me, too. You're like a sister to me. There's no way in hell I'd just let this case go."

"I know, and I thank you." She sighed. She had to tell Olivia before this went to trial. She slowly stood up. "I, uh, I need to talk to Olivia. I don't want to be rude and I know you just came over and I –"

Casey smiled and stood up. She wrapped one arm around Alex. "It's okay, I have some paperwork I need to fill out anyway." She smiled reassuringly. "Olivia is not going to hate you for this, I promise. She loves you too much. Call me if you need me?"

"I will. Thanks."

As soon as Casey left, Olivia joined Alex in the bedroom. She was careful not to make any quick or sudden moves, and she didn't want to touch Alex unless she knew it was okay. She wasn't sure what Alex had just revealed, but by the look on Casey's face, it had been difficult. She slowly sat down on the bed and waited for Alex to make the first move.

"I, um…" Alex started, terrified of admitting the truth to Olivia. "I haven't been completely honest with you. Before you react, just hear me out, okay? Please just let me explain before you hate me."

"Honey, I could never hate you!"

"Just promise to hear me out? Please!" Alex begged.

Alex's pain was killing Olivia. "Honey, just talk to me. I promise I'll listen. I promise I won't hate you."

"I'm a whore," she said suddenly.

"What? Alex, you're not –"

"Yes I am. I was thirteen and I was having sex nearly everyday with this kid so I wouldn't be gay anymore." She started speaking a mile a minute, figuring she just needed to get all of it out at once. "I thought that if I had enough sex, if I enjoyed the damn orgasms enough then I wouldn't be gay anymore. That's what the defense found out. I don't know how but they did, and now they're going to use it against me. They're going to prove that I'm a whore who got what she deserved." She looked up at Olivia, her eyes full of fear as she waited for Olivia's reaction.

"Oh, sweetie," Olivia said sadly as she took Alex's hand in hers. When Alex leaned against her, she rubbed her back gently. "You're not a whore. You're not at all a whore. You're a beautiful, amazing, wonderful woman and I love you so, so much."

"You mean you're not disgusted?"

"Disgusted?" Olivia asked, her voice full of concern and horror. "Oh honey, there's nothing about you that's disgusting. Nothing at all. I could never be disgusted by you. Never. I love you, Alex. I promise that is never going to change. Nothing that comes up in this trial is going to change how I feel about you."

Alex stayed in Olivia's arms for several minutes, concentrating on her words. She silently prayed that Olivia meant what she said. She didn't think she could handle it if Olivia walked out on her now.

"I have to tell Jess," she said after a while. "I have to tell her the truth before this trail starts. She needs to hear it from me. I need to be the one to tell her. The trial starts in two fucking weeks. I need to tell her now, Olivia."

Olivia nodded. "Okay. Do you want me to be there with you?"

She shook her head. "No. I need to do this alone. I just need to get it over with. She's coming over tomorrow to help finish painting. I'll tell her then. I'm so sorry we left the house such a mess. We were just so tired. We'll clean up when we're done, I promise."

"It's okay. I'll help you clean up later. You just focus on what you need to do. Don't force anything out, Alex. Please take your time. Jess is going to be there for you, I know it, but don't force yourself to talk about something if you're not ready. She won't hate you if you leave out some things. She's a good kid. She'll still love you."

Alex nodded. As they climbed into bed, she curled tight against Olivia. As painful as it was telling others her story, and knowing they knew her secret, it was also a huge relief. It was worth the pain if it meant other people in her life were willing to help carry her burdens. She felt lucky to have so many amazing people in her life. To her surprise, as she lay falling asleep, she wasn't that scared to tell Jess what happened to her. The thing that terrified her the most was telling Jess that she only existed because of a rapist. She wasn't sure how she was going to tell her that, but she knew she had to. As she drifted off to sleep, she prayed she could find the right words when the time came.