Where did I go wrong?

(working title)

Summary: Okay, first I'm not sure what this would classified as. Perhaps drama, romance, something...definitely some parody going on in here and there. Not even sure of the rating yet.

Do not want to give much about it away so I'll just let you read. Our two loveable bumbling fools, Pintel and Ragetti, are sent on a mission which in their usual fashion they mess it completely up. Fun and mayhem- type things follow.

DISCLAIMER: I do own POTC; or else I would so freakin' cool I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I do however own Camille. Who is still without a last name. Bugger. Any suggestions?

Chapter One

"Bloody 'ell!" Ragetti shouted throwing the parchment he held in his hand to the floor. "I don't understand this map at 'all! How are we supposed to give this to the Cap'n?" He asked.

Pintel quickly retrieved it from floor to take a look for himself. "Ye're an idiot! This be not a map but just a cleaning rag for someone's paintbrush!" He hollered, hurled it into the other man's face.

Ragetti quickly put his finger to his lips, 'Shhhh." He scolded him. "Do you want someone to hear ye?"

"I wasn't yelling that loud, ain't nobody going to hear me!" The shorter man's voice was even louder this time. "So don't go raising yer voice at me! Or draw attention to us yerself!"

Oy. He thought rolling his eyes. He would have thought Oy again but the sound of the door opening interrupted his thoughts, causing them to come out vocally instead. "Oy!" He exclaimed.

His cohort's reaction was little bit different; he had taken the violent route and had removed his pistol from its holder. "Who be there?" He demanded, pistol raised.

"I was going to ask you the same thing." A female's voice said in response. A form followed the voice; the candle in her hand flickered as she came to stand before them. The men surveyed her for a moment; Pintel's pistol still pointed her way, finger and trigger ready to shoot. She stood a few inches taller than Pintel, and was a little bit smaller than him otherwise. Her brown hair was pulled back in a single braid, which hung down her back. She was about 16-or 17, or that's what they would have guessed.

Ragetti looked at Pintel as if it would solve everything. "Uh, uh, tell her Pint!" He stammered as he began to rub his wooden eye nervously.

"Tell her, Pint." Pintel mimicked his harebrained friend. "We're here on some business with yer folks." He said giving her a "what you going to do about it" smirk.

"B-business, this late at night?" She asked, confused. "Well my father and mother are not here right now they're out."

Pintel raised a puzzled eyebrow; didn't she realize they were here on "piratical" business and what that meant? "What be yer name, poppet?" He asked her.

"C-Camille." She stammered something about these men was making her nervous. She had been around strange men before, her father worked with several of them but there was something about these two that was much worse.

"Aha." Pintel said, grinning smugly over at Ragetti. "And ye said that we had the wrong house." He sparred. "Brown 'air, name is Camille, folks out during the high society big wig junk."

A grin crept across Ragetti's face, "I guess I was wrong, first time eh?" He chuckled.

Pintel snorted and shook his head. IDIOT! He thought to himself, then turning his attention over to the girl once more. "So, Miss Camille, how about taking a little walk with us?" He asked.

"You're gonna go whether you like it or not!" Ragetti interjected excitedly.

Camille's eyes widened as they spoke to her, she tried to escape through the door behind her but was cut off as the lanky pirate jumped in front of her. She turned to try to go the other way but was faced by Pintel.

"'ello, poppet." He replied giving her a toothy grin with a mouth full of rotting teeth. He grabbed a hold of her waist pulling her into him. "Ooh, now this is nice." he hooted. She struggled to get out of his grasp but in the process she dropped the candle causing everything in the path to ignite into flames. Ragetti grabbed a blanket from the chair near him and proceeded to try to put the fire out. Dragging Camille to the door, Pintel shook his head. "Don't worry about that, let it burn. These rich bastards can afford to replace everything.' he smirked.

"Oh yeah!" Ragetti chortled. "Rich bastards can afford anything." He followed him out the door, laughing as he watched the girl tried to struggle. "Why don't she just give up?" He asked.

Sweet Mother of Pearl! Pintel inwardly groaned, he couldn't believe this. "Would you? If you had been captured by two pirates out of your home and was being taken somewhere that death and torture was probably all that awaited you, would you just give up?"

"That's a lot of words." Was all Ragetti replied at that moment, he needed to think about that one.

Camille glared at them, "he forgot one, two ugly pirates!" She said spitting at Pintel.

If she had been trying to piss them off it did quite the opposite, they found it quite amusing. "So ye think you're some kind of spitfire don't you?" he smirked.

"No, I just think you two are ugly." She said with almost a whimper.

"'ell you ain't nothing much to look at either!" Ragetti spouted at her, getting into her face; forcing Pintel to stop in the process.

She glared at him more. "Good thing you only have one eye than huh?" She said slapping him across the right side of the face.

"Me eye!" Ragetti shouted as the wooden ball came shooting out of the socket.

"Nice move, poppet, now we'll be 'ere till doomsday as he looks for it." Pintel was getting sick of this and was anxious to get her to their captain, not to mention the growing fire behind them.

"Oh, good, ye ain't gonna believe dis!" Ragetti said amused.

Pintel rolled his eyes in disgust. "What?" He really didn't want to know he just wanted to get this over with and him to shut up.

"It fell into me shirt!" He replied, plopping it back in place. "Now we can go."

"About damn time." Pintel grumbled, "Now lets get this little wrench to the Pearl."