DISCLAIMER: Jerry and company have not decided to sign the rights over to me as of yet so obviously I still do not own POTC. And Camille STILL does not have last name. Bloody brain dead am I.
Chapter Two
The Captain of the Black Pearl paced along the side of this ship, waiting for his men to return. Return with the much needed supplies; food, ammunition and rum. Most importantly rum. Oh, yes and the nobleman's daughter and the map that was supposed to lead him to something or other. He couldn't remember at the moment, but he knew the rum could help bring it all back to him.
He stroked his braided beard as he watched through the looking glass. Hmmmm. He thought to himself, No gunfire, no shouting. This is going along wonderfully. They could get out of there and be quite a ways away before they even noticed that they had been there. Or so he hoped. He turned around to face his first mate.
"Are you sure we don't have anymore rum on board?" He asked him disbelievingly
"Aye, Captain. That I be sure. Ye drank the last of it this morning." The man replied, standing stiffly behind him, a very creepy cold look in his eyes.
"Oh. Hmmm." the Captain shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the looking glass. "I really don't think I did." he mumbled. He started to open his mouth to ask again but couldn't even get past the first "a-"
"Blasted Jack! For the last time, there is no rum on this bloody ship!"
Raising his eyebrow, looking over his first mate as though he was the one to lose his sanity.. "Hector, mate, we may just have to stop in Tortuga and find you some pleasurable company. You need to loosen up!"
Hector Barbossa narrowed his eyes towards his commanding "officer", hatred had started burning in his chest towards him for sometime, but it was at a high tonight. He began to entertain thoughts of taking the looking glass far down the throat of that cocky Captain Jack Sparrow's throat. The name made his stomach turn, he ain't no damn captain.
Before he could put any of the formulated plans into action his thoughts were interrupted with a shout from the crow's-nest. The longboats were approaching. Barbossa breathed a sigh of relief, a satisfied grin appeared on his face. The imbecile's now got his rum, now maybe he'll shut up.
Jack peered through the looking glass to see what he could see in the boats. "Ahh!" He said happily, "They apparently were able to retrieve the lass I wanted. Now if I can only remember why we needed her and that map thing." He shrugged. "Ah, now I remember."
"Do ye now, Jack?" An annoyed Barbossa asked, he wasn't actually interested in what was going on. He believed this to be a fool's mission, his mind was on the other one they had discussed. Isle de Muetra. Gold of Cortez. That's where we need to be heading. He thought to himself. Be patient, Hector.
"The girly's father is the possessor of the map, the guardian if you will. Now if we have it and the girl and he knows she's on board we've got some leverage, savvy? No, bang bang pow pow, sinky sinky. Black Pearl stays afloat, we stay alive, hopefully, and we get the treasure. Now how does that sound?" Jack asked, flashing his famous smile. The smile quickly faded as he saw his first mate was not listening. "Did you even hear a word I said?" He asked exasperated.
"Sure," He lied, he hadn't heard a word that was said, his thoughts were else where. Think of something, quick! "Ye were talking about the rum." As he said that he immediately belittled himself. That'll never fly.
But alas it did! "Aw, well is that what I said?" Jack asked, a puzzled look on his face. "I didn't think I was but perhaps that was. At least we have some now, eh?" He clapped his hands and shouted over at the boatswain. "Bo'sun! The boats."
"Aye, Aye Captain." Came the gruff reply, "Ya heard the captain." He shouted at the crew, who promptly came over to help pull in the longboats.
The trio was in the first, closest to the captain. A look of relief was on Pintel's face, he had had enough of Ragetti's seemingly for some reason even more annoying antics and the girls whimpering whenever either of them even acted as though they were going to touch her. No wonder I never married. He had thought, shaking his head in disgust. When he saw the captain, a proud look rushed onto his face replacing anything that even resembled frustration.
"We got her as per yer request, Captain!" He grabbed a hold of her nightgown, yanking her to her feet. She gasped a bit and let out a small whimper. "Be quiet, poppet!" He hissed into her ear.
The Captain nodded in approval, putting his hands together in a mock-prayer, bowing his head. "Very, good then."
"Yeah, she practically fell into out hands." Ragetti started, "Pint started yelling his head off at me and she came into see what it was. Think she thought it was some animal dying in her house." He added seriously.
"Ye bloody bugger." Pintel grumbled, shooting him a sideways glare. "Yes Cap'n, it was almost like providence." If ye believe in that stuff.
"Perfect, now where is the map?" Jack asked starting to feeling anxious to have a look at the long anticipated paper.
Ragetti and Pintel exchanged worried glances. "Uh a-about t-that...' Ragetti stammered a bit.
"It wasn't there Cap'n." Pintel took over from his nervous friend. "We looked everywhere it we could not find it. I thinks perchance the father as it on him."
Jack frowned a bit in response but he didn't seemed to concerned. "Well this throws a monkeys wrench into the situation. No worries though, we'll figure out something."
The girl listened to the conversation intently, trying to figure out what they were talking about. She had to find out. "What map are you talking about?" She asked, trying to keep her voice from wavering in fear.
Somewhat surprised that she would interject any kind of question, especially one of that kind, Jack quickly turned his attention to her. He walked over closer and looked her over, examining her for a moment. "The map, you know, the map. The one that your father is the possessor of that leads right to the lot of yer family's fortune hidden away somewhere." How could she not know about it?
The response caused her to fight back laughter, it was so preposterous. "The map leading to me family's fortune? I ain't heard of such a map, nor any kind of fortune my family having. This is all news to me."
Pintel gasped a little bit, Ragetti elbowing him in the side. Is it possible she's not the one. He could feel his palms beginning to sweat. He gave his friend beside him a worried smile.
Jack cleared his throat, and paced a bit. "So let me see if I am following correctly. Ye say yer family as no such map nor fortune?" He asked her, glancing over at the men who had captured her for a moment.
"No, sir." She answered shaking her head. "We're poor as church mice."
"Poor as church mice." Jack repeated, rubbing his chin. "Then what is your name, miss?"
"Camille (?)." She replied quietly.
"Oh," he nodded a bit. "So you're not Lord Spencer's daughter?" He asked but didn't give her a chance to answer him. Instead he turned his attention to the men next to her.
Pintel swallowed hard. "Give us a chance to explain!"
Jack nodded, "Yes, I'll give you a chance to explain."
"He's giving us a chance to explain!" Ragetti voiced excitedly.
"Yes, I know!" Pintel said giving him a look, shut up he mouthed. Ragetti quickly looked down, looking like a puppy that had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing.
"Yes, he is, now explain!" Barbossa interrupted angrily. He gave Jack a fake smile and bowed a bit. "Sorry, Captain." Trying hard to keep a mocking tone out of the word 'captain'.
Ragetti hit Pintel on the shoulder. Pintel rolled his eyes and proceeded in retelling what had happened. "Sos we came into the town and found a house the location that it was supposed to be in right?"
Ragetti shrugged a bit. "We got mixed up in the directions. We went west instead of east."
"Rags, shut up. I'm telling the story!" Pintel shouted his patience was running thin with him tonight. Again followed by the ashamed look of Ragetti's face.
Jack nodded and waved his hand. "Carry on." He said.
Ragetti started to open his mouth but was cut off by Pintel. "He meant me with the story, not you with yer idiocy!" He cleared his throat and turned back to the Captain. "Yes perhaps we did go in the wrong direction. And the house did seem small for a Nobleman's house but we thought that it maybe just a side building or something of that sort. But then the girl came in, looking to the description given, her parents were not at home and her name was Camille. What else were we to think?"
Barbossa rolled his eyes, Fool's errand, send fools get fools result. This was exactly why he had not wanted them to undertake this. He knew it was going to be fowled up somehow, especially with those two put in charge of that.
But to Jack this was just too funny. "Yeah, I guess I can see the reason you thought so. Not many brown haired lasses named Camille is there." He smirked. "Girl, humor us, why were yer parents gone?" He asked her. "Were they at the ball?"
"My father was, " She started to say, but Pintel cut her off with another try to defend his and Ragetti's honor.
"See!" He said making hand gestures. "Doesn't it all seem to fit to you?" He asked the rest of the crew who looked at him strangely.
She looked over at her capturer. "He works in the stables near the Lord's house, he had to work late for the party."
Jack smirked a bit feeling amused. "And your mother?" He asked.
"Midwife, she's delivering a baby this night. I was left to guard the house." She said a bit sadly. "Not that I did a very good job of it."
Barbossa snickered a bit looking out over the waters to land. "You can say that again." he said pointing out the smoke and flames coming from what once was her home. The candle had obviously kept burning into what was now seen.
"Oh well, at least we have the rum." Jack said with a shrug. "Now let's set sail out of here." He said before he turned to saunter off to grab a bottle or two of rum, the majority of the crew set themselves about following his orders. His eyes widened as he looked upon the vast number of bottles in front of him. "oooo, now this is more like it!" He exclaimed.
"What about the girl?" Ragetti asked Pintel in hushed tones. They had loosened the grip they had upon her.
Pintel let go of her completely and chased after the captain. "Jack! What about the girl, what are we to do with her? She ain't no good to us after all."
Jack looked at him, irritated that he had interrupted his romancing the rum with his eyes. "What? Oh yes, the girl. Which one of you insisted that this was the one?" he asked looking from Pintel over to Ragetti who still held onto her..
"That would be me sir, I guess." Pintel replied, uneasy about where this may be leading.
"Ah, okay then it's very simple." An obnoxious grin slinked across Jack's face.
This look bothered Pintel, not knowing what was so very simple but knew it could not be any good. "How so Cap'n?"
The grin remained on his face, a twinkling of mischief could be seen in his eyes even in the darkness of the night. "Well since you're the reason she was brought here and she's no use to us, as you yourself have stated, then I guess she would be your share of the booty this time."
"What?" Pintel felt as though he was about to faint. Did he mean what he thought he meant?
"As the captain I deal out the shares...and I give her to you as wife. Cause as captain I can also perform marriages aboard my ship." He swatted his hand at him as to tell him to leave his presence. "so yes I say you're man and wife. Now go consummate your relationship while I get reacquainted with my love." he said looking down lovingly at the bottle in his hand. "Oh," He turned back grabbing another bottle. "Yes, love, you can join us as well." He turned to his crew before retiring to his cabin. "Carry on."
Pintel stood speechless, not being able to completely comprehend what had just happened. Ragetti stood a little ways away was just as confused. He quickly let go of Camille's arm. "I guess I shouldn't be holdin' onto yer wife like that Pint." he said. "I truly sorry bout that."
The words tried to form in his mouth but they just couldn't come out right. Finally he was able to say it. He turned to Barbossa, "Can he do that? Is that all he has to say and we're married?" He asked terrified.
Good form, Jack. Barbossa thought. Finally something I approve. . "I'm afraid so, Master Pintel. That lass over there now be yer wife. I suggest you do as the Captain said, she's yer responsibility now." He walked away his laughter mixing together with the loud thud of his boots.
"uhnn." Pintel felt as though he was going to faint. This couldn't be happening. There was no way. This can't be legal! This thought of course made him laugh. It wasn't like they were law-abiding citizens to begin with. But was she now legally his wife? Barbossa said she was, and he was among the educated aboard. He looked over at the girl and groaned feeling completely exasperated. This is going to be a long night.
A/N:Yes, I probably am not correct on the whole married by a Captain thing. I'm sure it's not that easy nor has ever been but it makes for a funny story I say. And Barbossa's not always an honest brute anyways.