Disclaimer: I really wish I knew Dick Wolf. Does he have any kids? Maybe I could marry one and inherit these characters someday.

Okay, wishful thinking, I know. On with this angst-filled story…

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The first thing Jess did when she walked into her apartment was go over to her desk to check on her current projects. She gasped in horror when she realized all four of them were missing. What the hell? Frantically, she searched all the drawers and the floor around the desk, but still found nothing. She rummaged through the papers on the nightstand by her bed, but still found nothing. She was about to start crying when she heard Allen laughing behind her. She spun around quickly and angrily. "What the hell is so funny, Allen?" she asked furiously. "I have to find those projects! They're due in less than a week!"

"I know," he said, smiling. He loved playing games like this with her. It amused him immensely to see her get this worked up, only to have her calmed down by something simple that he'd done. He slowly walked over to her and pulled his hands out from behind his back. In them he held the four tri-fold brochures, all finished. He winked as her jaw dropped in surprise. "I knew they had to be done soon," he said as he handed them to her.

She carefully flipped through them. They were perfect. He'd paid attention to every single little detail, even the shading for the background of the stupid peach tree that had been giving her such a hard time. She wiped away a tear and looked up at him gratefully. "Allen, how did you…"

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He kissed her gently on the lips and held her face in his hands. He rubbed his thumbs along her cheekbones and smiled. "I knew you really wanted to be with Alex and help her get situated in the new house. I figured it was the least I could do." He felt her body tense as he mentioned Alex's name. He closed his eyes, wishing he could take away all the pain that woman was in. "How is she, by the way? Did you finish decorating the house?"

Jess sighed as she sat down on the sofa and felt Allen sit next to her and wrap his hands around her gently. "We're getting there," she said. "The living room's finished. We painted it blue with a nice red trim. It looks pretty good actually. Alex and Olivia seem to really like it…" her voice trailed off. She was obviously trying to hide something.

"That's good," he said, trying to encourage her to keep talking. He could tell something was wrong. It seemed something was always wrong when she came back from visiting Alex, though he in no way blamed the woman. It was amazing how much he had seen her grow just in the few months that he'd known her. Still, it hurt him to see Jess coming home time and time again hurting so much. He rubbed her back gently. "Is everything okay?"

She shook her head and leaned against him. "The defense served her with a subpoena. They want her to testify on Jennings' behalf." She wiped away a tear and bit her lower lip. "Alex has to testify on her rapist's behalf."

"Oh, God," he said. It never seemed to end for Alex. It was just one thing after another. The only light at the end of this very dark tunnel was that the evidence against Jennings was solid. That man would rot in jail for the rest of his life.

"She opened up to me last night, Allen," Jess said softly. "She told me everything, and I mean everything. There was so much. Allen, that man really hurt her. I guess she wanted me to hear it from her instead of hearing it in the courtroom or on the news. She didn't get to tell Casey and I think that was really hard for her. She wanted to tell me." She sighed. "It was terrible. She's been through so much…"

"And she's lucky she has you to be there for her." He kissed her lightly on the lips and smiled, completely happy that the two of them were engaged. They hadn't set a date yet and, while he was excited to start on the planning, now wasn't the time to broach the topic. Jess was emotionally exhausted, and he just wanted to relax and have a nice, quiet evening with the woman he loved. "How about we take a nice long bath and climb into bed? You look like you could use some relaxation."

"That sounds like a wonderful plan," she said as she kissed him and stood up. She helped him up off the couch and they made their way into the bathroom. Allen turned on the water as Jess grabbed the towels and added some bath salts. As they climbed in together, Jess allowed herself to be completely engulfed in the scented steam. She closed her eyes and tried to will away all the pain she knew Alex was going through, and, perhaps even more, she tried to forget the fact that Jennings was her father. Allen's arms were so strong around her, and she felt safe resting in them. She knew she was loved. It was a miracle, in her opinion, that somebody actually loved her. With all her little quirks and imperfections, she had been sure nobody ever would. Now, however, all her dreams were coming true.

They climbed into bed that night and she curled up against him. "Can I ask you something Allen?"

He smiled and moved the hair out of her face. "Anything."

"If a woman is raped, and gets pregnant, how do you think that child would turn out?"

"What do you mean?"

She swallowed. "I mean, would it be a lovable child? Could somebody possibly love a child who only exists because of a heinous act?"

He took a deep breath, not really sure where she was going with the conversation. "I think that we choose whether or not we're lovable through our actions, not our genes. We can't control whose cells mix together to form us, but we can choose what we do with our lives. If we're good people, we're lovable, no matter whose blood runs through our veins." He cocked his head and studied her face. "Does that answer your question?"

She smiled and kissed him. "Yes…thank you."

As they laid there, her head resting against his chest, Allen wondered what was going on in her mind. He had no idea what had brought about those questions, but he didn't dare ask right now. She was slowly drifting off to sleep, and he didn't want to upset her by asking difficult questions. Jess was an interesting woman, he'd learned that very quickly after they began dating. She wasn't one to open up and trust easily, but once she trusted you, she would usually tell you what was bothering her. Sometimes, it just took a little longer for her to find the right words. He kissed her forehead when he knew she was asleep. "I'm here when you're ready sweetie. I love you."

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Olivia returned home to see Alex cleaning up the living room, and trying desperately to hide a very obviously busted lip. She first tried to hide it in her mouth, in an attempt to appear as if she were nervously biting it, but that quickly failed. Then she tried to just keep herself from facing Olivia, but that failed, too. She decided to just smile and try to pretend like nothing was wrong as she wrapped up the drop cloths and put them in the corner so they could use them when they painted the next room.

"Hey," Olivia said, concerned. "What happened?" She walked over and frowned at Alex's lip.

Alex felt Olivia's hand gently graze her lip and smiled. She took Olivia's hand in hers and moved it away. She shook her head. "Nothing, it's okay," she said truthfully.

Olivia raised her eyebrows. It had obviously been a very painful incident. The cut wasn't just a little accident. Something, or someone, had hit Alex, and hard. "Honey, that's not nothing. That's one seriously busted lip. What happened?"

Alex shrugged Olivia's hands away and turned around to finish cleaning up the mess. "I told Jess about her father," she said simply, then continued cleaning. She didn't want to deal with this right now.

"And she hit you?" Olivia asked, the anger in her voice more noticeable than she had intentioned.

"Hey," Alex said, trying to defend Jess. "I hit Casey with an ashtray and put her in the hospital for two days. A little punch to the lip is nothing." She sighed. "She didn't even mean to do it. She was shaking her hands around and trying to make sense of everything and I tried to hug her."

Olivia smiled and wrapped her arms around Alex's waist. Was she losing weight? Olivia couldn't tell, but she made a mental note to make sure Alex ate something at dinner that night. The impending trial was undoubtedly wreaking havoc on Alex's emotions. "Is she okay?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know. I mean…I think so, but I really don't know. It was kind of awkward when she left this morning. She just kind of woke up and said she had a lot to do at home and left. We didn't really talk about it. I think she just needed to be alone to deal with this." Alex looked up and met Olivia's eyes. "I didn't know what to say to her."

Olivia nodded. "It's okay. There's not really a whole lot you can say in a situation like that. It's a hard thing to deal with, and I'm sure it's even harder knowing her father is responsible for…" she paused, "All of your pain."

Closing her eyes, Alex let a few tears fall. "She asked me how I could still love her. She wanted to know how I could still love her after knowing who her father is and how much she looks like my sister. Liv, she was so hurt. I hated telling her but I had to."

"It's okay sweetie, it's okay. Let me talk to her. I'll see if I can help."

"You'd do that?"

"Of course I would. She's the niece of the most beautiful woman in the world – the niece of the woman I love more than anyone else. Why wouldn't I want to help her? Besides, she's a good kid. She needs to know we don't hate her."

"Thank you."

Olivia kissed her softly. "Anytime."

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Casey had invited Alex to lunch in an attempt to talk to her about the trial, which was now only four days away. She wanted to make sure Alex was as ready as possible for whatever the defense would throw at her. It killed her to know that the defense was pulling this, and that she was going to have to ask Alex some extremely difficult questions, but there was no getting out of it. The trial was soon, and they had to be prepared.

"I should have known this was more than just a lunch date," Alex said as she entered Casey's office and saw all the folders spread out all over the desk. She was half tempted to make up an excuse to leave, but decided against it. She knew Casey needed to be completely ready for this trial. It was going to be a hellish one, and Alex, too, needed to be prepared.

"I just want to make sure we're ready, Alex. I don't want to lose this case."

The intensity in Casey's eyes was almost more than Alex could handle. She knew the woman was determined to win every single one of her cases, but there was something more now, something she'd never seen in Casey before. She sat down slowly in front of Casey. "You won't lose this case. You've got your evidence – and a hell of a lot of it at that. You've got your witnesses. You'll win this one honey, it's okay."

Casey looked away. Alex was right, she knew that. She knew that the bloody underwear had all been perfect DNA matches to Jennings' victims and that he would be charged with eleven of the twenty – three rapes. The statute of limitations had expired on the others, but she wasn't worried about that. One of the attacks had even ended in the death of Rebecca Hower. That meant a sure needle in the arm. Still, she hated that Alex had to be put on the stand, and she was terrified that the defense had found something that could possibly ruin the case. "I just don't want to disappoint you."

"Hey," Alex said as she grabbed Casey's hand. She ignored all the documents and crime scene photos that were spread across the desk. "You won't disappoint me. That's not possible anyway. Jennings is going to go to jail and it's all because of you." She smiled encouragingly as Casey finally made eye contact with her. "You have no idea how much I appreciate everything you've done for me, Case. I know you've worked your ass off on this one, jumped through hoops I would never even dream of jumping through, and worked longer hours than should be legal. I could never be disappointed in you." She squeezed Casey's hand and wiped away a tear.

Casey forced a smile. "It's just…I don't know, I mean…what he did, I just…dammit," she cursed as she shook her head and closed her eyes, trying to figure out what she was trying to say. "I want to make sure he gets that needle in his arm for what he did. I've respected you since before I even knew you were alive. When I found out you were alive and you were coming back, I was terrified that I would have to compete with you – you were the best of the best, Alex, hell, you still are. I think I was even more terrified when I first found out you would be my boss because then I would have to live up to your expectations. I just, I want to win this one for you. I have to win this one."

"And you will," Alex said gently. She smiled lovingly as she realized just how much this was affecting Casey. Casey's nervous ramblings proved how much Alex meant to her. In trying not to cry and confessing to Alex how worried she was that she would be a huge disappointment, Casey had proven her loyalty. Casey had proven how much she really cared about and loved her. Alex squeezed her hands. "Thank you, Casey."

Casey looked up, tears threatening to fall at any moment. "For what?"

"Everything."

She took a deep breath and swallowed, trying to push away all her emotions and focus on the case at hand. "Let's do this. Let's get this damn trial over with so we can get on with our lives, huh?"

"Sounds like a plan to me."

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Just as Jess was about to step into the shower, she heard the phone ring. Allen had gone to the store and their answering machine was broken, so she knew she had to answer it. She quickly wrapped a towel around herself and ran down the hallway. She turned the corner too fast, slammed her shoulder into the wall, then stubbed her toe on the coffee table. This had better be really fucking important, she cursed as she limped over and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Jess, it's Liv."

"Oh, hey, how are you?"

"I'm good, and yourself?"

"Good. I was just about to hop in the shower though. Do you mind if I call you back when I'm done?"

"Actually," Olivia said hesitantly. "This'll be quick. I was just wondering if maybe I could stop by sometime around dinner tomorrow night. Alex and I talked and now I think you and I need to have a little conversation."

There was no anger in her voice, yet for some reason Jess still felt the need to defend herself. She clenched her teeth as she spoke. "I didn't hit her on purpose, Olivia. I would never do that."

"Oh, honey, I know," Olivia said. "I'm not upset with you. I just need to talk to you. Is that okay?"

Jess sighed in defeat. If Olivia wanted to talk to her after talking to Alex about the previous night's incident, Jess didn't want to have that conversation. Still, she knew she was going to eventually have to speak to the woman. "Fine. Come over tomorrow at seven. I'll make sure I give Allen plenty of errands to run." She hung up the phone before Olivia could respond. She felt bad, but the news Alex had dropped on her had nearly torn her apart. As she stepped into the shower, she turned on the water as hot as she could stand it and wished she could wash away all the dirtiness that was flowing through her.

"Jess, it's like a sauna in here," Allen's voice suddenly called out, jolting her back into reality. He opened the shower door and wiped his hand in front of his face in an attempt to see through the steam. "Honey, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice full of concern. He knew she never had the water turned up this hot.

"I'm fine," she said angrily.

He took off his clothes and stepped into the shower with her, cringing at the hot temperature, but deciding slightly red skin was worth it. "No you're not. What's wrong? You've been really off ever since you came back from Alex's last night."

"I'm fine, Allen."

"No you're not. Talk to me, Jess. Don't close up. I'm right here and I love you."

"I'm unlovable."

"What?" He asked in complete shock. "Honey, why would you say something like that?"

"Because it's true."

"Honey, what –"

"He's my father, Allen!" she exclaimed as she burst into tears. She felt him wrap his arms around her and she turned to face him, burying her face in his chest and allowing herself to cry. "Robert Jennings is my father," she said softly as he rubbed her back.

He closed his eyes sadly. Just when he thought this entire situation couldn't get any worse, it did. How much pain had this man inflicted? He looked down at his fiancé, feeling her shoulders rise and fall with her silent sobs. He gently stroked her back and kissed the top of her head. "It's okay, honey, let it out. Let it all out." They stood there like that until all the hot water ran out. He gently picked her up and carried her out of the shower. She was so emotionally drained that she didn't even have the strength to move. He slowly dried her off and helped her into her pajamas. As they climbed into bed, he wrapped his arms around her. "I love you, Jessica. Don't you dare ever forget that. He may be your biological father, but that's all he is. He has nothing to do with the person you've become. Nothing. I love you."

"I love you too," she said softly as she closed her eyes. It was a huge relief to hear him say that he still loved her. She had tried to convince herself that she was still worthy of his love, but until he had told her so, she couldn't make herself believe it. Now all she had to do was try to believe that Alex could still love her. As she let sleep overtake her, she knew that was going to be harder. Maybe Olivia would be able to help convince her. I hope so, she thought as she fell asleep.

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The doorbell rang just as Jess was setting the dishes on the table. She looked at her watch. Seven o'clock on the dot. Could you be any more punctual, she thought as she shook her head. She was dreading this conversation. She had convinced Allen to go out to a movie with Elliot and Steve, which meant she had the house to herself for the night. She straightened the wrinkles out of her pants and opened the door.

"Hey," Olivia said softly as she presented a bowl of homemade macaroni and cheese. "I figured it would be rude if I didn't bring anything. This is really the only thing I know how to cook well."

Jess took it and invited her in, shutting the door behind her. "You didn't have to do that. I have a semi-decent meal ready. Do you like salmon?"

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "Please tell me you didn't spend all day cooking this."

She shook her head. "It was frozen. I just threw it in the oven for an hour and…voila." She took the macaroni and cheese and sat it down on the table as Olivia sat down in one of the chairs. She nervously started serving herself at Jess' request as Jess poured two glasses of water. "Is she angry with me or something?" Jess asked as she sat down.

"What?" Olivia looked up, confused. She put her fork down and frowned. "Oh, no. She's not angry at you at all. She feels really bad for upsetting you but she's not angry, I promise."

"I swear I didn't mean to hit her." She looked away and swallowed, trying not to cry. "I must remind her so much of him, every time she looks at me."

What the hell am I supposed to say to that, Olivia wondered. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "One night, during my mother's junior year in college, she was walking back to her apartment from the library. It was late and she decided to take a short cut across the park." She paused for several seconds. "A man came up behind her and threw her to the ground. He raped her…nine months later, I was born."

Jess looked up, her eyes wide in shock. Now she understood why Olivia had come over to talk to her. She hadn't wanted to yell at her for hitting Alex. She hadn't wanted to come over and make her relive that conversation. She had come over to let Jess know that she understood. "I…I…" she had no idea what to say.

"You need to know that it doesn't matter whose genes combined with whose to form you, Jess. I'm sure at some points, when Alex sees you, she thinks of her sister and everything that happened, but those points are few and far between. Jess, Alex loves you so, so much. When she looks at you, she knows that she's loved. She knows she's lovable. You have helped her so much more than you could ever imagine." Olivia grabbed Jess' hand and squeezed gently. "Don't close up, Jess. Don't push her away. I know this isn't easy to deal with, believe me. It took me a long time to convince myself that I was capable of being loved. Trust me honey, the genes don't make the person. The person makes the person."

Jess smiled thankfully. She wasn't completely convinced – hell, she wasn't sure if she would ever be completely convinced – that she was truly capable of being loved, but for now, she was okay. She knew she couldn't control her gene pool. All she could do was try to be the best person she could be and hope that that was enough. She sighed. "Thanks, Liv."

"You're a good kid, Jess, and you're damned important to Alex. She loves you, and right now she's going to need you more than ever. I know this isn't easy, and I will understand if you don't feel comfortable doing it, especially with this new information you've just been handed, but she really wants you in that courtroom. I think she needs you to be there for her."

Jess nodded. "I know. I'll be there."

"Good." She swallowed the last of her dinner and stood to leave. "I'm sorry to cut this short but Alex and I are going to try to figure out the kitchen tonight. We've been in this house too damned long not to have unpacked the dishes yet."

Jess laughed. "Go," she said, ushering her to the door. "And Liv…thanks."

"No problem."

"Good night."

"'Night Jess."

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I tried to get the story of Olivia's mom's rape right. I don't even know if she ever told the whole thing, but if she did and I got it wrong, let me know. I think that's what happened, but I could just be making it up…